Memories of Summer Skies and Tearfilled Lullabies
by scolli20
Summary: A sequel to Memories of My Heart. Seven years after MOMH we join our couple in the midst of a blissful family life. Then tragedy strikes threatening everything. Will they be able to endure the pain ahead or will this tragedy ruin their happily ever after?
1. Chapter 1

** Memories of Summer Skies and Tear-filled Lullabies**

_By: Shannon Collins_

_Summary: _A sequel to Memories of My Heart. Seven years after MOMH we join our couple in the midst of a blissful family life. Then tragedy strikes threatening everything. Will they be able to endure the pain ahead or will this tragedy ruin their happily ever after?_ One does not need to have read MOMH to jump into this story. _

_Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or names of characters. Both are property of the creators of Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman, Beth Sullivan, and the CBS network._

_"Memory is a way of holding on to the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose."  
_

**Ch.1**

**August 21st****, 2017**

As the words she had dreaded hearing since early that very morning slipped from his lips, she could feel the blood running through her veins turn ice cold. _This couldn't be happening…_ _Everyone had said it wouldn't be true… But it was true… _She had just heard it. _He had truly just said it. _Her heart started racing as the overwhelming panic gripped her. This was really happening, and there was nothing she could do to change it. _Nothing…_ She gripped the hard plastic arms of the chair hoping to gain some control as she began to slip from the world around her. The voices surrounding her faded to an almost inaudible level as everything slipped into a foggy haze. She struggled to calm herself down as her breathing became more labored by the second. The word 'no' slipped softly from her lips as utter disbelief plagued her expression. The world before her faded completely as she fell into the darkness. But before she left the world completely, she saw his blue eyes staring back in fear. She reached out to him slightly, but it was too late. She could fight it no longer...

* * *

**May 21****st****, 2017**

His soft lips brushed against her cheek, as his warm arms surrounded her in a close embrace. She took a deep breath as he whispered in her ear, "Hey sweetheart we have ta get up." She began to fight her way out of the confused haze of sleep, struggling to gain complete consciousness as her dreams slipped away and were replaced by familiar surroundings.

"Hey," he spoke as her eyes fluttered open making contact with his own.

"Hi," she replied kissing him gently as she snuggled in closer.

"You know we need ta start breakfast soon," he explained softly.

"Hmmm… laying here is much more fun," she mumbled in return.

"Yeah it is," he said with a laugh. He gently loosened his grasp from around her and sat up slowly.

"Don't get up," she muttered closing her eyes again.

"Katie and Hannah will be up any minute," he returned.

"They know where we are," she said softly, clearly drifting back to sleep.

"Come on," he urged as he nudged her slightly.

She groaned in return before sitting up slowly and looking into his crystal blue eyes. As they sat in silence smiling at one another, she was suddenly overcome with intense nausea, which reflected itself very clearly in her expression.

"You okay?" he questioned in concern.

"No," she answered before jumping up from the bed and retreating to the bathroom.

He followed quickly behind her, as his ears were soon filled with the sound of violent vomiting. He took a seat beside her and pulled her long hair into his hand, holding it out of her face. With the other hand he began to rub gentle circles across her back hoping to soothe her any way he could. She coughed one last time before sitting up slightly, and he quickly reached for a towel on the cabinet, handing it to her gently.

"You alright?" he spoke looking directly into her eyes.

"Yeah. I think so…" she responded in an unconvincing tone.

"You don't look so good. Maybe you should go lie down for a while," he suggested clearly very concerned.

"No, I think I'm fine now," she answered as she pushed off from the ground to stand.

As she took a small step forward, he saw her waiver and grabbed her waist quickly before she fell.

"Whoa, come on you need ta go back to bed," he exclaimed his concern for her building.

"No, I just stood up too quickly. I have to get the girls up, or we'll never be ready for church," she returned.

"I'll take care of the girls. 'Sides I don't think you should be goin' ta church anyway," he said as he placed the back of his hand on her forehead.

"Sully, I'm fine. I promise," she spoke sincerely.

"Well, ya don't feel hot, but ya certainly don't look fine either," he explained as he picked her up in his arms.

She placed her arms around his neck, as he slowly carried her back to bed. He placed her down gently and draped the blankets on top of her.

"You're making a big fuss out of nothing. Really I'm fine," she said again.

"Throwing up and almost passing out ain't fine. Ya need to stay in bed," he said in a somewhat stern tone.

"If you make breakfast I'll stay in bed until it's finished," she responded hoping that would be enough to get him to drop it.

"Okay," he agreed hoping she would fall back asleep. Then, he could simply leave her in bed.

He gently kissed her forehead and turned the light off in the room before making his way down the hallway to wake his two daughters.

* * *

"Daddy, what are you making?" his young six-year-old daughter asked. She looked over at him as she hung over the counter, her knees grounded on the wooden bar stool.

"Pancakes," he replied as he continued to pour the batter into the skillet.

"What's inside the pancakes?" she inquired leaning over slightly further.

He gently pushed her back with his arm slightly. "Honey, you're gettin' too close. Ya need ta back up a little," he spoke in concern.

She quickly obeyed before asking, "What's inside them?"

"I think ya know," he answered with a grin.

"M&Ms?" she shouted excitedly.

"Yep! I put 'em in there just for my favorite blue-eyed girl," he returned affectionately.

"That's me, right?" she questioned with a wide grin.

"Right," he answered simply.

"What about Katie though?" she asked looking towards her younger sister.

"Katie doesn't have blue eyes," he replied.

"No, guess she doesn't. What color are her eyes?" she inquired.

"Well, one is green and the other is brown," he answered as he continued to pour the batter into perfect circles.

"Why are they different?" she asked knowing this was not a usual occurrence.

"'Cause they are just like your ma's eyes."

"Mommy has real pretty eyes," she returned.

"Yeah, she sure does," he replied dreamily as he could picture them clearly.

"What's the bowl over there for?" she wondered as she pointed to another bowl of batter.

"That batter doesn't have candy in it."

"How come?" she asked clearly not tiring of asking twenty questions.

"Your mommy doesn't like candy in her breakfast," he returned.

"She's crazy then," she said with a giggle.

"Mmm I have ta agree with you there," he said with a chuckle. "What about Waddles?" he asked gesturing to the stuffed penguin to her right.

"He likes candy in his pancakes, too. He's not crazy!" she exclaimed.

He laughed even harder in response, as he flipped the pancakes over.

"When is mommy getting up?"

"Mommy isn't feeling too good, so I'm going to let her sleep," he explained.

"Is she sick?" she questioned in alarm.

"Yeah."

"Oh," she replied sadly.

"Don't worry she'll be okay," he spoke softly as he placed a finger under her chin, raising it up slightly and looking into her eyes. "But don't wake her up alright?"

"Okay, Daddy," she answered. "What about Katie think she'll wake her up?"

"No, I think Katie is a little busy there," he said as he looked over to see her fanatically scribbling in a coloring book on a Crayola table in front of the television.

"Yeah," she said with a giggle.

"Wanna go sit down at the table?" he asked.

"Why?" she returned.

" 'Cause your pancakes are ready."

"Yeah!" she cried before sliding down from the bar stool and making her way over to the table.

"Katie, sweetie breakfast is ready," he called, but she didn't respond.

"Katie, M&M pancakes are at the table waitin' for ya," he tried again.

"Yeah!" she cried as she grabbed a stuffed unicorn from the couch behind her and ran towards the kitchen table.

As she scampered past Sully, he quickly grabbed her and pulled her into his arms.

"Whoa, Whoa slow down there or you're goin' ta hurt yourself," he exclaimed through her delighted laughter.

He placed her in the wooden chair next to her sister and quickly joined his girls for breakfast.

* * *

"Mommy, wake up!" Hannah cried as she peered over her mother's sleeping form.

"Hmmm," Michaela replied opening her eyes to see the young girl before her.

"Mommy, are you okay? Daddy said you were sick," she asked in concern.

"What? Honey, I'm fine," she answered.

"Why didn't you have breakfast with us then?"

"Because your Daddy didn't wake me up," she said in frustration.

"Can you braid my hair? Daddy tried but I think it looks silly," she questioned as she tugged on the light blond braid in her hand.

She smiled to herself looking at the mess of hair in her daughter's hand.

"Go get a ponytail holder and the brush off my dresser. Then, come sit in front of me, and I'll do it for you," she spoke through a yawn.

"Yay!" Hannah shouted in happiness.

She jumped down from the bed and bounced across the room to retrieve a colored hair band and the silver handled hairbrush. Michaela smiled as she climbed back onto the bed handing both requested objects to her mom. As Michaela began braiding her hair, Sully walked into the room exclaiming, "Hannah, I told ya not to bother your mom, she's sick."

"She said she wasn't," she replied.

"Well she is. Now come on and let her sleep," he said in irritation.

"She's fine Sully," she replied slightly aggravated. "I told you, I'm not sick. Why didn't you wake me up? Now, I'll never be ready!" she cried in exasperation.

He simply shook his head in response. Sometimes he couldn't understand her stubbornness.

"I didn't wake ya, 'cause you shouldn't even be goin'," he answered.

Before she could respond, they both heard a voice call from the doorway, "Daddy!"

Sully looked towards the little girl clad in tights and a pajama top, and he quickly arrived at her side.

"What princess?"

"Where did you go?" she wondered aloud.

"Ta find Hannah. And it looks like she's buggin' Mommy," he explained.

At the mention of Michaela, she pulled back and ran pass him to the bed. She attempted to climb up and join her mom and sister but struggled immensely because of the bed's height. Sully turned and saw her struggle, and he quickly scooped her in his arms and placed her beside Michaela. She stood up moving behind her mother with her stuffed unicorn in hand.

"Mommy!" she cried wrapping her arms around Michaela's neck.

She quickly tied off Hannah's hair and turned slightly, smiling at Katie before pulling her into her lap.

"Hi sweetie," she returned sweetly as she placed a kiss on Katie's cheek.

She held up her unicorn, and Michaela kissed the stuffed animal as well.

"Do you want your hair done too?" she asked the sweet brown-haired girl.

"Yeah!" she cried in happiness.

"Hannah, honey can you grab another ponytail holder from the dresser?" Michaela prompted.

Hannah nodded in response, but Sully quickly jumped in stating, "I got it," and tossed her one.

"Thanks," she replied with a smile as she began to fix Katie's hair. Hannah moved over to her mother's side sitting as close as she could, her thumb in her mouth. Sully soon joined them on the bed, and pulled Hannah into his lap.

"You look beautiful," he said with a smile looking down at his daughter.

"Thanks," she replied snuggling close against his chest.

"Mommy, Stop!" Katie cried fidgeting to get away from Michaela's grasp.

"What's wrong?" Michaela replied in confusion slowly pulling her hands back.

Katie quickly crawled to the edge of the bed and turned around sliding down to the floor.

"Honey, where are you going?" she questioned as Katie tossed her unicorn into Michaela's arms before running into the bathroom.

She smiled and laughed to herself as Sully quickly joined in on the contagious laughter.

"Guess she really had ta go," he said through a chuckle.

"That's Katie for you," she said with a smile. "Always waiting until the last second."

"What time is it?" she asked as their laughter died down.

"10:15," he stated.

"I'm never going to be ready," she answered sliding off the bed and pulling the door to the walk in closet open.

Hannah quickly jumped off the bed to join her asking, "Mommy what are you going to wear?"

"I don't know," she mumbled as she rummaged through the closet.

"I think you should wear this one," Hannah exclaimed pointing to a pale pink, silk, cami dress with asymmetrical layers of ruffles making up the skirt of the dress, as well as gracing the top hem.

"You do, huh?"

"Yep," she replied with a nod.

"And why's that?" Michaela questioned teasingly.

" 'Cause you look real pretty in it," she returned.

"And because it looks a lot like the dress you happen to be wearing?" Michaela responded unable to suppress a grin as she looked at the pale pink dress with a cascading waterfall ruffle hem on the beautiful little girl in front of her.

"Maybe," she said before running to her mother's side and wrapping her arms tightly around Michaela's legs. She gently placed a kiss on Hannah's head before picking her up in her arms and cradling her tightly against her chest.

"I love you so much sweetheart," she whispered as she held her close.

"I love you too, Mommy," she returned as Sully appeared in the doorway with Katie in his arms.

"I'm goin' ta finish getting this one ready to go. Ya still plannin' on going with us?" he questioned.

"Of course."

"Alright. Hannah come on let your ma get ready."

"No, I want to stay with her," she cried placing her head back down on her mother's chest.

He glanced towards Michaela to see if she objected, as Hannah wrapped her arms even tighter around her mother's neck.

"She's fine. She can stay with me," Michaela replied knowing she didn't have much of a choice.

"Alright then. Come on Katie lets go pick out a dress for you," he said to the little girl in his arms.

"Okay," she replied with a smile as she made her unicorn kiss his cheek.

"Hannah, I've got to take a shower," she explained looking down at her sparkling blue eyes.

"Okay, I'll watch TV and wait for you," she answered.

"Sounds like a plan," she stated as she kissed her daughter on the cheek and set her down on the bed.

She grabbed the remote from the dresser and flipped on the Disney channel before turning to Hannah and asking, "Do you have all of your markers and coloring books ready to go?"

"Yep."

"Okay," she said with a smile before shutting the bathroom door behind her.

* * *

"Mommy, you are so so pretty," Hannah said affectionately as she watched her mother put mascara on her lashes and lipstick on her lips.

"Thank you, but I'm not as pretty as you miss Hannah," she returned glancing at her daughter's reflection in the mirror.

Hannah grinned in response quickly asking, "Can I wear some makeup too?"

"Come here," Michaela said as she turned around to face her daughter.

"Look at me and relax your mouth," she requested.

Hannah obeyed, and she traced the light pink lipstick onto her daughter's lips.

"There," she said with a smile, and Hannah quickly turned to look in the mirror.

"I look like you," she returned with an even larger grin.

"You do," she returned affectionately.

"You know whom I haven't seen this morning?" she questioned, as she watched her daughter who was clearly mesmerized by their similar reflections.

"Who?" Hannah inquired.

"Molly."

"She's in my room, but she's not ready yet," she explained.

"She better get ready soon don't you think?" Michaela questioned.

"Yeah," she replied triumphantly before retreating to her room to dress her doll.

As soon as she reached the doorway, she saw her father leaning against the frame. He had obviously been watching the exchange between mother and daughter. She was about to call out his name, but he stopped her by placing a finger over his mouth indicating he wished her to stay quiet. She nodded in response and skipped out of the room. He made his way across the room as quietly as possible. As soon as he reached the small vanity, he wrapped his arms around his wife, placing a kiss on her cheek.

"You look amazin' as usual," he stated.

"Thank you," she returned before turning around to face him.

"You sure ya feel okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine," she said with a small laugh. "You worry too much."

"I can't help it. Ya know I can't live without you," he returned genuinely.

"And you won't have to," she said with a smile. "Is Katie ready?"

"Yeah. Her hair is still a little messy, though. I managed ta get a somewhat decent ponytail in her hair, but you made need to fix it in the car."

"Thanks for taking care of everything this morning," she said as she stood up and wrapped her arms around his waist.

"You are such a wonderful husband," she continued glancing up into his eyes.

"Good thing I am or it wouldn't be fair," he returned.

"And why's that?"

" 'Cause you are the most perfect wife and mother in the world," he said with a smile pulling her in tightly against his chest.

"I love you so much," she spoke as she took a deep breath relishing in the comfort of being in his arms.

"I love you too," he returned as he claimed her lips with his.

"Did you pack the girls clothes for the park?" she asked.

"Of course," he said with a smile. "Did ya want to eat something really quick before we go? I saved you some pancakes."

"No. Maybe I'll have some crackers or something…" she trailed off.

"Thought ya said you were fine?" he asked becoming concerned again.

"I am, but I want it to stay that way," she explained.

"Alright," he replied hesitantly.

He glanced down at her as she closed her eyes tight for a brief second. She took in a few deep breaths hoping he wouldn't notice the lightheaded feeling that had suddenly overcome her.

"What's wrong?" he asked as she opened her eyes.

"Nothing," she said hoping he would believe it.

"You're lyin'," he answered knowing she was holding something back.

"No, I'm fine. I'm going to grab some crackers before we leave," she said pulling back slightly and making her way towards the door.

"Okay," he replied reluctantly vowing to keep a close eye on her as she departed for the kitchen.

* * *

He couldn't help but smile as his beautiful wife lay in his arms. It was a gorgeous spring afternoon, and he was sitting comfortably on a blanket under a large maple tree watching his girls play on the jungle gym a few feet away. It was one of those perfect moments that didn't come around every day. He knew this was the perfect opportunity to ask her the question that had been on his mind all day.

"What are ya thinkin' about?" he began.

"Nothing, really. Just about how happy I am at this very moment, " she said with a small smile.

"I've got something ta ask you," he said as he ran his fingers through her hair.

"Hmm?" she replied her gaze fixed on the girls.

"You know what's comin' up soon…" he trailed off hoping she would fill in the blanks.

"Honey, I'm sorry hang on a minute," she stated quickly. "Hannah, don't go down the slide that way!" she called out slightly aggravated.

"Hannah I'm serious! Don't make me come over there!" she exclaimed once again.

Hannah quickly realized she was being watched very closely and obeyed her mother's request immediately.

"I'm sorry, what were you saying?" she said turning the frown that had graced her face seconds before back into a smile.

"What?" she asked when he simply gazed into her eyes in response to her question.

"You're just so beautiful," he said affectionately.

"All right, what do you want?" she questioned as she gave him a playful shove.

"Why do I always have ta want something?" he said with a mischievous grin.

"You don't always have to want something. However, I know that you do," she said with a knowing look.

"Well, I was wonderin' if you could take some time off from work here soon…"

"What for?" she replied, although she was still clearly distracted.

"Michaela, they're fine," he said as he gently turned her face towards his.

"I'm sorry. I worry about them on that playground. Katie is too young to be playing on it," she explained with concern evident in her tone.

"No, she's fine. You worry too much."

"I know and I'm sorry," she answered softly knowing he must be frustrated only receiving part of her attention.

"Don't be sorry. Just means you love them. But really they're fine. I wouldn't say that if I didn't really believe it," he said as his hand gently caressed her arm.

"Yeah okay," she returned, finally looking away from the girls and into his eyes.

"So, think you could get some time off?" he gently prompted.

"When?"

"The 9th of June," he said with a smile.

"What day is that?" she asked still not realizing the significance of the date yet.

"A Friday," he returned simply.

"Yeah, I can do that. I'll just schedule surgeries around that date…" she said breaking out in a wide smile mid-sentence as she finally connected the dots.

"Why the 9th? Any particular reason?" she questioned, although now fully aware of the reason.

"I think ya know," he answered.

"I do, do I?" she answered in a teasing tone.

"I hope ya do. Otherwise I will throw a fit just like one of Katie's right here, right now," he responded trying to hold back his laughter.

Upon hearing his words, she broke out into that contagious giggle he found so incredibly sweet.

"Could it have to do with the very special day that falls on the 11th?" she asked once her laughter died down.

"It could definitely have ta do with that," he answered still refusing to reveal everything.

"Aren't you going to tell me?" she pressed after a few moments of silence.

"I haven't decided," he replied.

"What do you mean you haven't decided?"

"I don't know whether I want to tell ya, or just surprise you," he explained.

"Well as much as I love your surprises you are going to have to tell me more than what you are telling me now."

"And why is that?"

"Because I have to know what to do with the girls," she explained hoping to convince him to reveal more information.

"I've already worked that out," he answered in confidence.

"Oh, you have?" she said somewhat skeptically.

"Yeah, of course."

"So, I just need to take the 9th off of work?" she questioned in disbelief.

"Yep."

"And that's all you are going to tell me? That and the girls are taken care of?"

"Well, I guess I will tell ya one more thing. We are going away for the weekend," he returned still refusing to reveal everything.

"I kind of figured that out," she said with a laugh. "Where are we going?"

"I'm not telling ya," he replied, refusing to give any more information than was absolutely necessary.

"How will I know what to pack then?" she questioned thinking she had forced him into revealing more.

"I'll pack for you," he answered thrilled he had deflected another attempt.

"I don't think so," she said shaking her head. "I know how you would pack."

"And what's that suppose to mean?" he returned trying to suppress a grin.

"Well, you would pack a few swimsuits and lingerie and call it done," she teased.

A wide grin spread across his face as he replied, "That sounds about right."

"So, really though, where are we going?" she asked once again hoping for an answer this time.

"You'll see," he said still standing his ground.

"You are talking in circles here. How am I going to pack?"

"Look in my suitcase and see what I brought and pack accordingly," he answered.

"All right," she said realizing she was defeated. "Who's taking care of the girls?"

He gently shook his head replying with, "You are so nosey."

"I am not!" she cried out indignantly.

"Yes, ya are. And I know you won't drop it 'til I tell you, so Becca and Edmund are watchin' them," he explained.

"What?" she stated in shock. "They shouldn't have agreed to that. They just moved out here. They haven't even finished unpacking yet."

"Yes, but they want ta spend time with their beautiful nieces that look so much like their mother," he said with a charming smile.

She was quickly won over by his charm replying, "You sure they are okay with it?"

"One hundred percent sure," he said with assurance.

She nodded slightly before snuggling deeper into his embrace. "You've got me so excited now. You know how crazy it drives me not to know what you are planning…" she said.

"Yes, but I also know how surprised ya are when you finally find out what I'm plannin'," he answered.

She closed her eyes breathing in his intoxicating scent. She always felt so safe and secure in his arms no matter how many years passed. She smiled to herself thinking about the way he still looked at her. It was as if no time had passed. He still looked at her the same way he did the day they met. A look filled with such intense love it seemed to blaze directly to her heart. Even after nine years together, he still managed to surprise her. She started to run through ideas in her head of a way to surprise him. After all he seemed to have her anniversary present already planned out. She had to come up with something equally wonderful. Little did she know that one of the biggest surprises coming their way neither one would see coming…


	2. Chapter 2

**Ch.2**

**May 22****nd****, 2017**

She reached across the wooden nightstand and grabbed the hard plastic phone, turning off the alarm with a slight touch to the screen. After forcing her eyes open, she looked down at the screen to see that it was 6:45. She glanced over to her left side quickly realizing he was missing. Her gaze wandered around the room before realizing he was probably eating breakfast. She sat up quickly knowing that if she didn't get up this minute she would soon fall back asleep. As she sat upright she was overwhelmed by dizziness and brought her hand up to her forehead immediately, attempting to stabilize herself.

_I must have sat up too quickly,_ she thought before gazing back down at her phone. As she looked down at the display the corner read 'May 22nd'. _No, it can't be the 22__nd__…_ _There's no way_… Her mind quickly began to spin, as she jumped up from the bed and made her way to the bathroom.

She began to rack her brain frantically as she stepped back into the bedroom. _I've never ever been even a day off, _she thought shaking her head in disbelief._ Never… _The pure uncontained happiness reached out and grabbed her at the thought of what this could mean_. Sully…She had to tell him…_ _No, don't say anything,_ a voice in her head warned. _You have no idea if it's true. Two days, or a day really, doesn't mean it's true. You can't tell him until you know for sure. It will simply hurt him too much. I can't and I won't put him through that again._ She nodded to herself deciding to keep this quiet for the time being.

She slid her phone open and dialed the hospital, leaving a message that she wouldn't be in today. She didn't have anything scheduled other than some paperwork, so they wouldn't miss her. As she was deep in thoughts of what could be, might be, what she hoped would be, Sully walked into the room and stared at her with a puzzled expression.

"What are ya doin' still in bed? Don't ya have ta be at the hospital at 8:00?" he asked.

"No, I'm not going in today," she replied still lost in thought.

"Why, what's wrong?" he returned.

He quickly became concerned, his mind flashing back to yesterday morning. She hadn't had any other symptoms since, so he thought it was nothing. _But calling in to work? She never ever did that…_

"I'm not feeling a hundred percent, so I just want to be sure I don't overwork myself," she explained hoping he wouldn't question it.

"Okay…" he replied hesitantly, thinking this sounded nothing like her. "I'm really concerned about ya now. What's really goin' on?"

"Well, I woke up feeling dizzy again, and I think I'm just working too hard. I only had paperwork to do today, so it can wait," she answered.

"All right," he said skeptically.

His mind was reeling in confusion, but he wasn't going to argue. Frankly, he was glad she was staying home if she was truly sick. For once he didn't have to argue with her to take care of herself. However, that in and of itself was suspicious…

"Do ya still want me to take the girls to daycare, or you want them here with you?" he questioned.

"No, I think it would be better if they went to daycare. I'll get more rest that way," she answered softly, clearly feeling a little guilty.

"Okay," he said with a smile.

"Where are you going?" he asked upon seeing her walk towards the bedroom door.

"To get the girls ready," she replied.

"No, get back in bed. If you're sick enough to call into work, ya sure shouldn't be around the girls," he answered, knowing expressing concern for the girl's health was the only way she would listen.

"Well, there's no way you can get them both ready yourself and still make it to work on time," she responded.

"Yeah I can. I'm super dad," he said with a laugh. "No, really though, it'll be fine. Even if it means poptarts in the car."

"Thank you," she said with a smile. "Will you please send them in to say goodbye before you guys leave?" she requested as she climbed back into bed.

" 'Course," he said kissing her forehead gently. "You sure you are alright? I'm really worried about ya," he said with concern.

"Yes. After a day of rest, I'll be fine."

"Okay. If ya need anythin' today, you know ya can call me anytime," he returned.

"I know," she said. "But that won't be necessary."

"Okay, but if you need to…" he said again before she quickly cut in.

"I will," she said sincerely.

"Okay then. I love you," he said as he cupped her cheek in his hand.

"I love you too," she returned.

With another quick smile he headed out the door, and she laid back down glancing at the clock. She knew the next hour would go by _teasingly_ slow. She couldn't wait for him to leave with the girls. The moment she heard the garage door close, she knew exactly where she was headed. This waiting was going to drive her truly insane, though, and she knew it. She rolled over desperately trying to calm herself down, knowing that if she could fall asleep the time would fly by even quicker. But that was much easier said then done…

* * *

She looked down at the blue box in the clear plastic sack sitting in the passenger's seat. _Could it really be true? No, it probably wasn't,_ she chided knowing that she was bound to pay for getting this excited. The fall was always so much further when she built it up like this. _You know better than to get excited like this without knowing for sure_. She felt literally frozen as she glanced down at the dashboard in front of her. Yes, she wanted to go inside and find out more than anything. But at the same time, she was excited right now. She had hope that it was possible. But after she went inside she would know for sure… And it was bound to be a crushing 'no'.

Her mind flashed back to the decision not to tell him. She had thought about it several times already wondering whether she had made the right choice. But every time she went back to the pain they endured last time, and the crushing looks on his face every time they found out it wasn't true. She knew she couldn't do that to him again. It was hard enough to feel the pain herself, but she couldn't see it on his face again. No, if she told him this time, it would only be good news. She would only tell him when she knew for sure.

She took a deep breath trying to calm herself down, but as soon as her hand gripped the sack firmly her stomach jumped again. It was that feeling of overwhelming happiness she was desperately struggling to keep in check. As she opened the car door and stepped onto the cement garage floor, she felt the familiar dizzy sensation creep over her. It felt as if the blood had been drained from her head, and she quickly gripped the car to maintain her balance. She took several deep breaths as she smiled to herself. _Oh, God please let it be true, _she begged knowing in a matter of a few moments she would know for sure. She quickly scolded herself again for getting her hopes up like this. Lightheadedness was a symptom of many many things. Not just the one she was desperately hoping for. She knew that with undoubted certainty, but is still didn't stop that voice in her head from crying out, '_but what if it is true?'_

She unlocked the door, and swiftly closed it behind her tossing her keys on the kitchen counter. Then, she quickly threw the plastic sack into the kitchen trash and headed to the bathroom with the blue box in hand.

* * *

She glanced at the clock realizing it had only been twenty seconds since she last looked. _Only 2 minutes and 40 seconds,_ she thought as she bit down hard on her bottom lip. She thought about turning on the TV but quickly changed her mind. She was far too distracted to concentrate on anything but the passing seconds. Burying her head in her hands, she repeated over and over _please let it be true_.

After Katie she wasn't sure if she could ever go through this again. They told her it was unlikely she ever would be in this situation, unless she had help. _But they didn't have help… That's why it couldn't be true… _She was simply fooling herself into believing it to be true because she wanted it so badly. _Oh, God please, please,_ she begged over and over. She knew it wouldn't change the result, but she couldn't stop herself from asking.

_Only a minute left_. One minute and the crushing devastation would hit her like a ton of bricks. _And it certainly wouldn't be the first time…_ It would be the first time she found out alone, though. He had been there every other time, except for the very first. _And that time had been different…_ They hadn't even realized they wanted it yet. It had simply fallen into her lap. Last time they had wanted it more than anything, and it hadn't been easy to come by at all.

"Please God," she cried again knowing she only had seconds left. As her phone chimed, she knew it was time. She took a deep breath and shut her eyes tight, as she walked back into the bathroom. After a few steadying breathes, she tried to will herself to just get it over with and look at it. But she couldn't do it. She had no idea how long she stood there willing herself to look at it. She really wished she had someone else there to look for her, but she had decided it best to do this alone. After saying one more quick prayer, she took the stick in her hand and commanded herself to glance down.

Bolts of happiness shot through her, as a smile crept onto her lips. She had never been happier in her entire life to see the absence of the word "not". "Oh God," she whispered in total shock the tears slipping down her cheek. "Thank you so much," she cried placing her hand gently over her stomach.

She quickly reached for her phone, before realizing she still didn't know with complete certainty. She had vowed there would be no doubts at all when she told him. Scrolling through her phonebook, she called a friend and coworker from the hospital.

"Hey, Charlotte this is Michaela. If I come in really quick in about fifteen minutes can you do a blood test for me?"

"No, nothing serious. I just need an answer on something."

"Oh, thank you so much. I owe you one. I'm on my way over now."

* * *

As she sat in the silent car once again, she couldn't help but remember how she had felt only a few hours earlier. _It was true_. _This was really happening._ She now knew with certainty that it was true, and all she could do was cry. They were not tears of sadness, but true tears of joy and relief. All of that hoping and praying weren't for nothing. She was finally getting the one thing she wanted so very badly… _another baby._ She wrapped her arms around her stomach, as the overwhelming happiness flowed through her.

She never thought she would be pregnant again without extensive help. _But they hadn't had extensive help… And she'd only been off of it a month._ She hadn't even told Sully yet knowing he would get his hopes up again, and it would bring that looming depression back into their lives each time they were told 'no'. _Another little girl... Or a boy…_ She couldn't contain her excitement any longer. She had to share this with someone. Punching the third speed dial number on her phone, she listened as the rings filled the silence in the car.

"Hello,"

"Hey, Becca," she replied.

"Hey, how are you?" her sister questioned.

"I'm well… Ecstatic doesn't even begin to cover it," she said her voice dripping with excitement.

"Well tell me what's going on?" Rebecca responded eager for answers.

"I'm pregnant!" she exclaimed.

"No?" Rebecca responded in disbelief.

"Yes!"

"I thought they said it wouldn't happen again. Not without all of those fertility treatments…"

"They did say that, but I guess they were wrong!" she cried out in joy.

"Oh my God, Michaela!" Rebecca cried out in happiness.

"I know!" she responded.

"What did Sully say? I'm sure he was thrilled."

"I haven't told him yet," she answered softly.

"You haven't? Why not? Didn't he know you trying?"

"No, actually he didn't really know. I know he wants more children, but I didn't tell him when I stopped taking the pills a month ago. I didn't want to get his hopes up again. You know everything we went through with Katie… I couldn't go through that again. All of the waiting, and the expectations, and the disappointment… I stopped taking them thinking it was a possibility but highly unlikely. I can't believe it though, it really happened!" she explained.

"And you haven't told him yet?" Rebecca asked again.

"No, not yet."

"Then, why are you on the phone with me? You should be on the phone with him. I'm hanging up now…"

"No, don't do that! I thought about calling him when I found out this morning. But then I was scared it wasn't true, so I went into the hospital and had them do a blood test," she explained.

"And did you just finish there?"

"Yeah, I'm in the parking lot now," she stated.

"Well, I understand why you didn't tell him this morning, but why aren't you telling him now?" her sister questioned in confusion.

"I've thought about this a lot, and I want this time to be special. It's probably the last time I will ever be able to give him news like this. I don't want to tell him over the phone in the hospital parking lot. I want to see the sparkle in his eyes, feel his arms around me…" she said trying to convey her true feelings.

"Okay. So, you are going to tell him tonight then?" she wondered.

"Well, actually that's one of the reasons I was calling you. I want to make him dinner tonight and tell him without the girls around…" Michaela stated before Rebecca cut in.

"So, you were wondering if I could babysit?" she said jumping in.

"Yeah, kind of. I'm sorry," she said with guilt in her voice.

"All right, I will do it on one condition. You meet me somewhere right now and let me buy you and my niece or nephew lunch."

"Okay," she said with a grin. "You have yourself a deal."

"How about that little café over on the corner of Madison?" Rebecca suggested.

"Sounds perfect. Thank you Becca," she replied.

"You're welcome sweetheart. Oh, and by the way congratulations."

"Thank you so much! You were the very first to say it," she said with a laugh. "I'll see you in about fifteen minutes."

"All right, great. Bye," Rebecca stated.

"Bye," she returned before closing her phone.

* * *

She shut her car door tightly and pressed the tiny button on her car remote. It emitted a small beep, as the lights on her car flashed indicating it was locked. As she walked across the parking lot, she picked up her pace slightly, excited to see them. After having lunch with Rebecca, she decided to go pick up Hannah and Katie. She had felt awful about sending them to daycare when she knew they would have been fine at home with her. After all she wasn't really sick. But this morning when her mind flashed to the sadness that would inevitably ensue, she knew she would need the time alone to pull herself back into "happy mom" mode. _However, things didn't turn out that way_, she thought unable to keep herself from smiling.

She pulled the glass door open and walked down the small flight of stairs eager to see Hannah. As she stepped inside the Kindergarten classroom, Hannah spotted her immediately from across the room and dropped the block in her hand, running at lighting speed over to Michaela's side.

"Mommy!" she cried jumping into Michaela's outstretched arms.

"Hi, sweetheart," she replied cradling Hannah in her arms.

"You're early," she said with a delighted smile.

"Yeah, I am. I missed you and Katie," she said with love in her eyes.

"I missed you, too," she said with a big grin.

"Go get your backpack, and we'll go get Katie," she said placing Hannah back down on the ground.

She quickly signed her initials in the ledger by the door, indicating she had picked up Hannah. Then, she waved to the teacher across the room before taking Hannah's hand and walking down the hall to Katie's classroom.

They soon stepped into the dark room lit only slightly by sunshine streaming through the glass door to the playground. She motioned to Hannah to stay quiet before scanning the cots on the floor for Katie. A young woman soon appeared by her side waving to Hannah and whispering to Michaela, "She's over there in the corner."

"Thanks," Michaela said with a smile.

"Do you want me to wake her up for you?" she questioned.

"No, I'll get her," she whispered in return before navigating her way carefully across the room.

She placed a soft kiss on her daughter's cheek and nudged her slightly, encouraging her to wake up. As soon as her eyes fluttered open and saw Michaela, her face broke out in a big smile as she wrapped her arms around her mother's neck.

"Mommy!" she cried in excitement.

"Shhh," Michaela responded knowing Katie was bound to wake up the other sleeping children.

"You're early. We haven't even had snack yet," she responded slightly confused.

"Yeah, sweetie I'm early today. Let's get your stuff, and then I need you to go to the store with me," she explained softly.

"Okay," she replied rubbing her eyes.

Michaela helped her put her blanket and pillow into a small sack and fold her sleeping mat up, before Katie retrieved her backpack and returned to her mother's side. Michaela quickly tied her small pink tennis shoes and pulled Katie into her arms, joining Hannah by the door. She flashed Hannah a proud smile when the young girl pointed to the perfectly printed 'MQS' next to the typed 'Katie Sully'.

"Thanks, sweetheart. You did a wonderful job," she said as she took Hannah's hand holding Katie on one hip.

She nodded towards Katie's teacher, and with a whisper of thanks the three girls headed for the parking lot.

"Why did you pick us up today? I thought Daddy said he would," Hannah questioned.

"Well, I wanted to spend some time with my two favorite girls," she answered.

"Okay," Hannah replied accepting this answer.

"Can we go to the park?" she wondered aloud as Michaela let go of her hand to unlock the car door.

"Yeah, I think we can do that, but we have to go the grocery store first."

"What for?" Hannah questioned knowing that going to the grocery store was normally a Saturday morning activity.

"I have to get some extra stuff for dinner tonight," she answered as she strapped Katie into her booster seat.

"What are we having?"

"Well, I'm making your Daddy dinner, and you and Katie are going over to Aunt Rebecca and Uncle Edmund's house," she responded.

"Yeah! That means we'll have pizza!" she cried in excitement.

"Pizza!" Katie cried in happiness, waking up more upon hearing the news.

Michaela laughed in response knowing her daughter was probably right, as she checked to make sure Hannah had buckled herself in correctly and handed both girls a package of fruit snacks. As she drove towards the store with the Hannah Montana CD playing in the car, she couldn't help but smile as she glanced in the rearview mirror realizing there would soon be another car seat in the back of her car…

* * *

She glanced over at the timer on the oven relived to know that she still had fifteen minutes until the lasagna would be finished. Grabbing the bowl of salad and tray of breadsticks, she walked into the dining room and placed them in the middle of the table. She then grabbed a lighter from a drawer in the breakfront and lit the two white candles. After placing the lighter safely in the drawer, she turned slightly to look at herself in the oval mirror hanging from the wall. Her hair was curled perfectly and with the addition of a small key pendant necklace and a tiny black strapless dress, she knew she would stop him dead in his tracks. She smiled making a mental note to take off the apron as soon as she was back in the kitchen.

Upon entering the kitchen again, she tossed the apron onto the back of a kitchen chair and frantically dug around in one of the drawers for a corkscrew. She soon found what she was after, and opened a bottle of wine pouring two glasses.

"Hey, I'm home," he called out the familiar greeting as he walked through the front door. "Wow, it smells crazy good in here."

"Thanks," she said appearing at his side as she wrapped her arms around his waist placing a kiss on his lips.

"You look beautiful," he stammered in awe. "Why are ya so dressed up? And I got your message. Why did ya pick the girls up? I thought you were sick? I'm totally confused here," he uttered upon seeing her standing in front of him.

"Okay, well I'm not sick. I'm totally fine now. Better than fine actually. And I'm dressed up because I made you dinner. I thought we could have an evening alone together," she explained with a smile hoping he wouldn't question this too much.

"Wait_ you_ made me dinner? Ya don't cook," he answered with a puzzled expression.

"Yes, I cook some… I cook with you. And it's just salad and lasagna it's not that hard to make," she ventured.

"Okay," he said with a big smile. "And an evening alone? Where are the girls?"

"At Rebecca and Edmund's house."

"Alright then. Is there a reason for this big surprise? Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled ya just have me very puzzled here," he stammered still baffled.

"Yes, there is a reason. But I want to share that with you over dinner."

"Okay," he said with a smile pulling her in close. "And ya sure you're okay? I mean this mornin' you were so sick ya weren't goin' in ta work, and now you're fine?"

"Yes, better than fine," she repeated.

"How is that possible?" he wondered in bewilderment.

"I'll tell you at dinner," she answered again praying he wouldn't continue to press this.

"Man, you've got me really curious here. When is this dinner?"

"In about ten minutes. Come sit down at the table," she requested as she began to walk towards the dining room. "I poured you a glass of wine," she explained retreating to the kitchen to grab it for him.

"Okay…" he trailed off still totally puzzled.

He had expected to come home and find her a mess on the couch begging him to find something for dinner. This was definitely unexpected and very odd. She had been acting strangely all day…. He hoped she would give him some real answers during dinner.

* * *

"Ya look so amazin'. I can't get over it. I mean you always look great, but you just look extra amazin' tonight," he said as he glanced across the table.

She blushed slightly in return knowing that the cause of this particularly special appearance was probably the happiness she felt deep inside.

"I can't believe ya made me dinner," he said shaking his head slightly in disbelief.

"Something wrong?" he questioned as a result of her continued silence.

"No, not at all. Why?" she returned.

"Ya just seem really quiet that's all," he explained.

"Well…" she started placing her fork down and glancing up from her plate. "It's just that…"

"Yeah?" he prompted.

"I'm pregnant," she said with a small smile.

"What?" he returned literally stunned.

"We're going to have another baby," she returned softly.

"That's not possible," he stammered in amazement.

"Well it's true," she stated.

"I don't understand… How did this happen?" he returned trying to make sense of what he was hearing.

Her heart began to sink immediately upon hearing his words, as her eyes filled with tears. This certainly wasn't the reaction she had been hoping for…

He noticed the tears in her eyes right away and quickly responded, "Sweetheart, what's wrong?"

"I thought you would be as excited as I am. But you're just upset. I'm sorry…" she said through tears.

"Sorry?" he inquired as he moved over to her side, and pulled her to her feet and into his arms.

"I'm sorry I didn't talk to you about this. I just stopped taking the pills last month. I never thought it would work, and especially not this fast…" she said as tears spilled down her cheeks.

"Whoa, slow down ya stopped taking birth control?" he questioned as he sat down in her chair pulling her into his lap.

"Yes, I'm sorry," she sobbed.

"No, don't be sorry. Don't ever be sorry," he said soothingly. "Please don't cry. I'm just trying to put all of this together. I'm a little overwhelmed here. So, you just stopped taking them a month ago?"

"Yes…" she said softly.

"And ya just found out you're pregnant?"

"Yes. I'm sorry I thought you wanted another child…"

"Oh my God, I want another kid more than anythin'. You know that," he said sincerely.

"I thought you did, but you seem upset," she stated.

"No, not at all! It's the opposite actually… I'm just confused. They said ya couldn't have any more children without help," he replied.

"I know, but they were wrong…"

"When did you find out?" he questioned.

"This morning and then I had the hospital do a blood test this afternoon," she finished.

"Oh, Michaela," he cried pulling her tightly into his arms as tears cascaded down his cheeks. "I can't believe this. I can't believe this is happening!"

"So, you are happy then?" she said calming down somewhat.

"Of course! This is what we wanted," he finished with a smile.

"And you aren't mad that I didn't tell you I was sort of trying?" she questioned meekly.

" 'Course not! I don't really understand why ya didn't tell me, but you knew I wanted another baby. How could I be mad?"

"I didn't tell you because I didn't want to get your hopes up again like last time. It's too painful to see you hurt like that," she explained.

"So, ya were just goin' ta hurt alone then?" he inquired.

"I don't know… I guess I hadn't really thought about it," she replied as he wiped tears from her cheeks.

"Well don't ever hesitate ta tell me somethin' like that again. Like I said, I'm thrilled that you were ready ta try again. But next time let me in, okay? Let me into this heart of yours," he said placing his hand over her chest. "It's not fair that ya have ta suffer through something like that without me."

"You're right. It's just I love you so much. I wanted to spare you pain and sadness," she explained.

"I know, but ya have ta understand I want to spare you pain and sadness as well. And it ain't fair to inflict that pain on you alone."

She nodded in response. "Well, we don't have to worry about any pain because the waiting didn't happen this time. I'm pregnant now," she said with a smile.

"I know!" he cried in joy bending down slightly and kissing her stomach. "I can't believe this! I'm totally stunned."

"It took me all afternoon to believe it," she responded.

"We're goin' ta have another little girl or a boy," he whispered.

"I know!" she cried excitedly.

Suddenly, a light bulb went off in his head. "So, that's why ya didn't feel well yesterday and this morning?" he questioned.

"Yeah," she said with a smile. "I thought I might be this morning when I realized what day it was, and that's why I wanted to stay home today. I wanted to find out for sure, and I thought I would need the time alone to grieve a little."

"But thankfully it didn't turn out that way," he finished.

"I know! I really couldn't believe it. I still can't."

"Did you tell anyone else?" he wondered.

"No, just Rebecca. We still have to tell the girls," she said with a smile.

"Yeah," he said pulling her even deeper into his arms.

"So, do you want a boy or a girl?" she inquired.

"Well to be completely honest with ya a boy would be nice," he reluctantly admitted.

"Yes, one that looks just like you," she said dreamily.

"With your eyes though," he returned.

"I don't know your eyes look pretty sweet on little Hannah. And I've always been partial to them," she stated gazing down into his shimmering blue eyes.

"Then, let's just wish for a healthy baby," he suggested.

"Sounds like a plan," she said laying her head on his shoulder.

With one arm around her back and the other on her stomach, he couldn't help but think about how excited he truly was this very moment. They were having another baby….And this time they didn't have to fight so hard for it. This time it had fallen into their lap just like little Hannah had over six years ago. Nothing could have made him happier than knowing they would soon have another child.


	3. Chapter 3

**Ch.3**

**June 9****th****, 2017**

"Hannah, honey, can you grab your pillow and put it in the car for me?" Michaela called out.

"Yeah," she answered before retreating to her bedroom.

Michaela began to swiftly look through the two small pink and purple duffel bags making sure she had packed everything the girls would need. Upon confirming that she had everything, she looked through her own bag one last time. Looking through hers, however, proved much more difficult as Sully still refused to tell her where they were going.

"Do ya have everything?" he questioned as he entered the room approaching her from behind.

"Well the girls have everything, but I have no clue if I do since you refuse to tell me where we are going," she answered teasingly.

"Trust me ya have everything," he said as he wrapped his arms around her waist.

She leaned back slightly, captivated by the feeling of being in his arms. She closed her eyes as her mind flashed to all the time they would have this weekend to spend in each other's arms. He began placing slow, sensual, kisses down her neck, and she let out a soft moan in response. He had always been so good at knowing exactly how to touch her, and where she longed for his touch the most. His hand slowly moved down her body, and he smoothly slid it under the waistband of her shorts.

"Stop…" she uttered softly, knowing how hard it would soon become to resist him.

"I want you_ so_ bad," he whispered against her ear as his free hand moved slowly up her body.

"Mommy," Hannah called from the other room quickly pulling her back down to earth.

She let out a frustrated sigh that was quickly echoed by her husband who very reluctantly released her from his grasp. She turned around to face him, and as she stared into his eyes that were full of longing they both heard the cries of her name fill their ears once again.

"I'm coming," she called towards the door before turning back to Sully.

"Hold onto those feelings… Only a few more hours…" she said with a sensual smile before leaning in closer and whispering in his ear, "Because I won't soon forget how badly I _need_ you…"

He smiled down at her as their lips came together in a heated embrace both longing to be closer, but fully aware it wouldn't happen right now. She soon swiftly pulled back and made her way out of the room knowing the girls wouldn't stay patient for much longer. He looked towards the wooden framed doorway wishing she were still standing before him. _ She's right though…only a few more hours and it will be just the two of you. _He grinned to himself as thoughts of the weekend to come danced through his head.

* * *

"Bye Mommy," Hannah said sweetly.

"Bye sweetie," Michaela replied as she hugged her tight. "I love you."

"I love you too, Mommy," she said as she planted a kiss on her mother's cheek.

Michaela returned the gesture, and then slowly released her hold on Hannah turning towards Katie.

"Don't leave Mommy!" Katie cried as a tear rolled down her cheek.

"Oh baby, it's okay," she soothed pulling her daughter into her arms. "You'll have so much fun with Aunt Rebecca."

"No, Mommy don't leave!" she cried in anguish as she wrapped her arms tightly around Michaela's neck.

She quickly picked her distraught daughter up in her arms. Her cries only grew stronger as Michaela held her close.

"Shhh," she soothed trying to calm Katie down.

"Bye Daddy I love you," Hannah said with a smile as Sully kissed her on the cheek.

"I love you too, honey. Be good while we're gone and take care of Katie for me, okay?" he asked.

"Okay," she said with a big grin.

He kissed her goodbye once more before placing her back down next to Rebecca. He then turned to Michaela who was still holding a sobbing Katie in her arms.

"No! Please don't leave," she cried again.

Michaela looked toward him helplessly, completely unsure what to do. He arrived by her side saying, "Here give her ta me."

"I don't know if I can do this. I can't leave her like this. I just can't," she said as a tear rolled down her cheek.

"Kiss her goodbye, and I'll meet ya in the car," he said gently.

She looked at him skeptically, doubting whether it would be as simple as he seemed to believe.

"I'll take care of it," he said as he put his arm around her. "Trust me. She'll be fine, and we aren't goin' very far. We'll come back if we need to."

She nodded and kissed Katie before attempting to hand her over to Sully. However, Katie was unwilling to unclench her fingers that were tightly gripping her mother's shirt. Sully skillfully pried her off of Michaela, and she quickly latched onto Sully. Michaela waved to Rebecca and Hannah before quickly ducking out of sight.

"Shhh sweetheart, it's okay. It's okay. Hannah is goin' ta stay with you. Hannah will take care of you," he explained soothingly. She calmed down a little upon hearing his voice, but still her cries continued.

"Goodbye baby," he said as he kissed her forehead.

He pulled back slightly and slipped his Cheyenne necklace over her head. Then, motioning for Rebecca, he placed a very distraught Katie into her arms.

"Sorry about this," he said with remorse.

"It's fine. She'll be okay in a little while," she replied reassuringly as she rocked Katie back and forth in her arms.

Her cries only grew fiercer upon being taken from his arms, and it took everything inside of him to hold back the tears in his eyes.

"Sully, trust me on this one. This is very normal. She'll be fine in about fifteen minutes," Rebecca said with a small smile.

"Alright, I'll take your word for it," he returned softly.

He gave Rebecca a hug and thanked her again, before giving Hannah another quick kiss and departing for the car.

As he sat down in the driver's seat, he looked over to see his sweet wife in uncontrollable tears. He pulled her into his arms, rubbing her back softly as he tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear.

"She's goin' ta be fine," he said softly.

"I know. I just hate to hear her cry like that. It tears me up inside," she said with a sob.

"I know, 'cause it hurts me the same way. But she's goin' ta be alright in about fifteen minutes here. We are only makin' it worse sittin' in the driveway," he expressed.

She pulled back from him slightly nodding her head. "Yeah, you're right. And as hard as it is to leave them, we really do need the time alone," she said with a small smile.

"I couldn't agree with ya more," he replied as he wiped the tears from her eyes. "Just think about how much fun they're goin' ta have destroying Becca's kitchen tonight when they make cookies."

She smiled and giggled slightly at the mental picture he had created.

"You ready?" he asked.

"Yes," she answered softly.

"Alright then," he responded as he stroked her cheek gently before putting the keys in the ignition and backing down the driveway.

* * *

"I've got something I wanna ask ya," he began as they drove down the coast.

"All right," she said with a big smile.

"I have an idea I would like ta propose for this weekend," he explained with a boyish grin.

"Okay, what's this idea?" she questioned a smile still dancing across her face.

"I want ya to agree ta it first," he said.

"No way that's happening," she replied with a laugh. "It's probably some wild and crazy idea that's likely to get us into trouble."

"What makes you say that?"

"I know you very well," she responded simply.

"Alright, I'll tell ya what it is first. But I want you ta keep a very open mind," he explained.

"Open mind?" she repeated.

"Yes…"

"See I knew where you were going with this. I've said this a thousand times over, no sex on the beach," she stated in a somewhat serious tone.

He burst into laughter not expecting her to say that at all. "No," he said shaking his head. "It's nothin' like that."

"Really? What is it then?" she answered clearly surprised.

"I think we should ban all conversation about Hannah and Katie."

"What?" she cried in shock.

"Hear me out here. Ya know I love our girls. They are two of my three favorite women. But I want this weekend ta be about just you and me. Not, you, me, and the kids. Does that make sense? Sometimes it seems like all we talk about now are the girls and work. I think it would be fun to spend three days talking about just us," he finished before looking towards her trying to read her expression.

"I see your point," she said with a smile. "But I don't know if you can make it three days without mentioning them."

"You don't, do you?" he teased.

"No, I don't," she returned confidently.

"Well I don't think you can go a day without mentionin' them," he retorted.

"All right then I have a deal for you. Other than conversations with Becca on the phone about the girls, I bet I can go longer than you can without mentioning them," she quipped.

"What do I get if I win this bet?" he said with a smirk.

"What do you want?"

"Sex on the beach," he said with a clever grin.

"No," she said trying, but failing to hold back her laugher. "I told you that's never happening, and I wasn't kidding on that one. What else?"

"I want ta blindfold you," he stated with a seductive smile.

"What?" she answered not quite following his line of thought.

"I want to blindfold you _one time_…" he replied.

Although his answer was still very cryptic, she still caught his meaning this time.

"Sully, seriously!" she exclaimed as she playfully slapped his arm.

"No, really. I'm not messin' with ya. I think we could have some fun with that…"

Her stomach jumped slightly when she realized he really wasn't kidding. "I don't know…" she said with an embarrassed smile, quickly averting her eyes.

"Well ya are convinced you aren't goin' ta loose, so you have nothin' ta worry about anyway," he replied.

"Well I guess that's true…" she responded still unsure she wanted to agree to this.

"You haven't told me what ya want if you win," he asked.

"You mean _when_ I win. And I want you to drop everything and play hookie from work with me for one day. But you won't know what day it is until the morning I come to you and tell you not to go," she explained.

"Well, I'm definitely game for that one. That's a win for me too," he said with a wink.

"So, I'm in. What about you?"

She sat silent for a few moments contemplating exactly what she was agreeing to do. _If I win…well there isn't a problem there. But if I loose… _She didn't really know if she was comfortable with this suggestion of his. On the one hand, it made her uncomfortable to imagine being that powerless and out of control _ever_. _And why exactly did he want her that vulnerable? _But on the other, this wouldn't be the first time he had proposed an idea she initially wasn't crazy about that turned out to be worthwhile. _I'll just have to make sure that I win… _

"I know I'm going to win, so it's a deal," she replied confidently.

"Alright then," he said with a smile. "Let the games begin."

* * *

As they stepped into the brightly lit room, she couldn't help but grin from ear to ear. Her gaze wandered around the room from the small kitchen complete with a bar, to the electric fireplace beneath the plasma television. He tossed his keys gently on the small glass table by the door, and sat down on the large, plush couch somewhat drained from the two and a half hour drive. She set her bag down gently next to his before turning towards him.

"This is beautiful," she said in awe, a surprised smile dancing across her face.

He smiled in return his heart dancing with happiness knowing his surprise had thrilled her as much as he had hoped.

"Palm Springs," she said shaking her head slightly. "You are _good_."

"So, ya like your surprise then?" he asked remembering the way her eyes lit up as soon as they stepped into the hotel lobby.

"Of course! I am still truly amazed that after all these years you still continue to surprise me. This hotel is amazing," she exclaimed her eyes sparkling with excitement.

"You deserve nothin' less," he answered.

"We are going to have some _fun_ here this weekend," she said with an alluring smile.

"We are?" he responded.

"Yes…"

"What kind of fun?" he questioned wanting desperately for her to continue.

"I think you know what kind of fun. The kind of fun we have to be careful about back home," she replied suggestively.

"Ahhh, yes. _That_ kind of fun," he responded with a wink.

"Mmm hmm, yes…" she whispered.

"That's my favorite kind of fun, too," he added completely charmed by the look on her face.

"I'm going to go look at the bedroom," she returned before turning and walking towards the door on her left.

He thought about following her, but before he made a move towards the door she had returned and quickly stated, "The bedroom is beautiful, too."

"What about the bed?" he teased.

"Well, pretty isn't the most important quality in a bed now is it?" she returned eager to take part in his verbal play.

"No, not really. I think I rather it be comfortable," he responded.

"I would agree with that," she said with a nod.

"And is it?"

"Comfortable? I don't know, I didn't sit on it," she answered with a playful smile.

"You didn't?" he said holding back laughter.

"No."

"And why not?" he countered eager to hear her response.

"I was waiting to try it out with you," she said flashing a sensual smile his way.

"Well that sounds like a plan ta me," he said before appearing by her side and pulling her into his arms.

She wrapped her arms around his waist affectionately and gazed up into his eyes, seeing such a deep love behind them it truly touched her soul. Their lips soon met in an amorous kiss full of familiar feelings of deep love mixed with passionate infatuation. His hand softly cupped her cheek as hers wrapped around his neck bringing them even closer together.

When their lips eventually parted, she turned her gaze towards the royal blue trimmed glass doors directly to her right. Suddenly eager to see the view from the balcony, she made her way towards the glass doors walking past the small wooden table with seating for three. She swiftly slid the doors apart and stepped out onto the balcony admiring the spectacular site in front of her.

"You have to come out here. This view is incredible," she cried out in wonder as she looked down at the resort pool below and then to the bright blue sky above.

Upon her request, he joined her on the balcony marveling at the beauty of the site below as palm trees graced the poolside and courtyard.

"I want to go swimming," she said with the excitement of a small child.

"Alright," he answered with a laugh.

"Go put your suit on," she requested.

"You want ta go _now_?" he responded in shock.

"Yes," she said before grabbing her bag and bouncing towards the bathroom.

"Ya don't want to unpack at all first?" he questioned.

"Nope. I want to start having fun this second," she explained before closing the door behind her.

* * *

"Oh my God," he exclaimed as she stepped out of the bathroom.

He stared in awe at the woman in front of him. He simply couldn't get over how stunning she looked in the white and gold polka dot string bikini. The very small bottom had a sweet ruffle along the top edge and was only held together by two small ties on each hip. He couldn't stop thinking about how easy it would be to untie one of them. The triangular cut halter-top had a ruffle along the top edge as well, and a gold ring in the very middle hitting the center of her chest. All he could think about was how she looked more beautiful and even sexier than she had the first time he had taken her swimming nine years ago.

"What?" she replied upon seeing his starstruck grin.

"Did ya not look in the mirror before ya stepped out here?" he replied, although he was still having a difficult time concentrating enough to form words.

"No…" she said looking down at herself slightly confused as she finished tying a knot behind her neck in the spandex ties of the top.

"You are tryin' ta kill me aren't you?" he stammered.

"What?" she said with a grin as he pulled her into his arms.

"You are so beautiful… And makin' me keep my hands off of you simply isn't fair," he explained as his hands softly caressed her bare hips.

"Who said you had to keep them to yourself?" she replied running her hands slowly across ever inch of muscle in his chest. Her mind quickly flashed back to the first time she had seen him without his shirt on so long ago. She hadn't thought it was possible for him to become any more attractive, but she had obviously been very wrong.

"Well ya said you wanted to go down to the pool, and I think we have to behave there," he answered longing to just stay in the room.

"Yes, but we don't have to behave when we get back," she said with a wink before taking his hand in hers and leading him towards the door.


	4. Chapter 4

**Ch.4**

**June 9****th****, 2017 **

As he lay sprawled out on the royal blue lawn chair, he tried to pry his eyes away from her for the millionth time in the last two minutes. She was simply irresistible, but he knew if he continued to stare he would get himself into trouble very very quickly. He glanced back over at her to see her left leg propped up on the chair, as her hands sensually caressed her calf spreading glistening oil all across her exposed skin. He turned away again unable to stand this torture much longer.

"Are ya almost done?" he questioned, although he still didn't make eye contact.

"No, not really. Why do you ask?" she wondered.

"Well, you're literally rubbing oil all over yourself."

"Yeah, I don't want to get burnt," she answered.

He snickered as he grabbed the bottle from her. "You think tanning oil is goin' ta prevent you from gettin' burnt? I think it's quite the opposite," he said through laughter.

"It's _protective_ tanning oil," she said with stubborn reserve.

He shook his head, his laugher filling the air around them.

"I don't know if I believe that one. But either way I certainly can't watch this any longer."

"Oh, you can't, can you?" she responded playfully.

She then grabbed the bottle back and leaned her head back, thrusting her chest forward. With her eyes closed, she sprayed the sparkling oil from her neck down to the gold ring on her suit. Staring at her chest shining in the sun, he clenched his teeth. _Sometimes her teasing could be so cruel… She knew this was killing him, but she was enjoying every second of it. _He wasn't used to simply admiring her from afar. With a pool of their own, he rarely had to control himself around her. She smiled back at him seductively, as her hand made it's way down her chest rubbing in the shiny oil. Glancing over to make sure he was still looking, she sprayed it on her exposed stomach and rubbed it in teasingly slow.

"You're just cruel," he said in a teasing tone.

"I guess I am, but what are you going to do about it?" she replied with a smile knowing she had him in the palm of her hand.

"You know I can't do a dang thing right now, but I won't forget this," he responded willing himself to look away.

"Hmm okay," she said before perching her right leg on the chair and caressing it from ankle to thigh.

He closed his eyes tight vowing himself to keep his eyes away from her for the time being. As hard as it was to keep his eyes closed, it was much much harder to watch. And that's what he told himself over and over until he was sure she was finished, and he could open his eyes again.

* * *

He watched as she made her way over to the side of the pool and dangled her feet over the edge into the sparkling blue water. He really considered sneaking up behind her and pushing her in, but he knew there were many other more enjoyable ways to get back at her. She ran her fingers through her hair, gathering it into a large clip at the base of her neck. He smiled to himself knowing she probably planned to keep her hair dry, and he certainly wasn't going to allow her to get away with that. He jumped up from his lawn chair and headed over to the pool sitting closely by her side.

"Having fun?" he asked.

"Mmm hmm," she replied eyes closed as the bright sun danced across her features.

"You goin' ta get in?"

"I don't know," she answered with a sweet smile. "It's definitely hot enough, but I don't want to get my hair wet.

"And why's that?" he said in an ornery tone.

"Because I assumed you would want to eat dinner with me somewhere. And we both know how terrible my hair looks after I've been in the pool."

He chuckled and quickly came back with "I don't know about that. I think your hair always looks amazin'. Even when you've been ta the beach all day, and it's covered with sand."

"I think you're just good at flattery, that's what I think," she stated with a wink.

"Ah that may be part of it," he returned. "And ya know it's only four feet deep here. Last time I checked you were taller than four feet," he said with a laugh.

"What is that supposed to mean?" she quipped.

"It means that you could get in and your hair would be fine."

"Yeah, I guess," she replied a little skeptical.

"And there aren't any kids around to splash you either," he continued.

"Watch yourself," she teased knowing he had intentionally phrased it that way.

"I didn't say anythin' I shouldn't. I simply said kids…" he repeated with a wink.

"Well, you are right. There's no one around to kick frantically, splashing water everywhere."

"So, will you get in with me?"

"If you promise not to push my head under," she said in a serious tone.

"I would never do that!" he said with a sly grin.

"Oh really? I seem to recall many _many _times you have done just that in our pool back home."

"Yeah, but this time ya asked me not to," he returned.

"Promise you won't, and I'll get in."

"Alright, I promise," he returned before sliding into the pool.

He swam backwards slightly, motioning for her to join him. She slid down into the pool slowly, taking special care to keep her head far from the water. She made her way over to his side, and he quickly pulled her towards him grabbing her waist and urging her to wrap herself around him. She quickly complied, and her arms soon found his neck while her legs wrapped around his waist.

"You hair looks so sexy when it's wet," she said with a sensual smile as she pushed a strand of his hair behind his ear.

He quickly claimed her lips in a passion filled kiss thrilled to be this close to her finally. With one hand gripping her waist, the other made it's way down to rest on her hip. She smiled as she looked down into his blue eyes that were sparkling brighter than the water surrounding them.

Immediately aware of his fingers slipping under the tiny ties of her suit, she said with a grin, "You have to behave here. This isn't our pool you know."

"Oh, believe me I know. 'Cause if this was our pool, ya woulda lost that suit about an hour ago," he answered flashing his charming smile.

"Sully!" she cried averting her eyes trying to suppress laughter.

He smiled at her totally captivated. The shy side of her that often came out when they were in public was so very endearing. Even after all of this time together, she still felt embarrassed when it came to speaking her desires aloud. She had no problem acting on them, but putting them into words was a whole different story. Yet, that was one of the things that made her so sensual, so attractive. His thoughts danced through images of her without any barriers, as his fingers gently tugged at the spandex ties pulling them apart in one swift motion.

Even though her eyes were fixed on his, and her mind on thoughts of encounters to come, she was jolted back into reality when she realized what he had done.

"Sully!" she screamed pulling her arms back and holding both ties together tightly.

She retreated from his arms, quickly knotting the ties together again and fixing him with an angry glare. He simply chuckled knowing his fun had just begun.

"What?" he returned playfully as her stare didn't waiver.

"You know what! You can't do that here!" she exclaimed as she held back amusement.

"Nobody saw anythin'. I didn't untie the other side at the same time. Then, ya would have been in trouble," he answered with a laugh.

"You are so cruel!" she cried, playfully repeating his line from earlier.

"I'm sorry. Come back please," he said opening his arms.

"No, I don't trust you," she said crossing her arms.

"Oh, yes ya do. I don't buy that for a second. And I'll behave I promise. Scouts honor," he responded extending two fingers in the air.

"Were you even a boy scout?" she questioned.

"What does that matter?"

"Well, if you weren't a boy scout, then scout's honor doesn't mean a whole lot now does it?" she mocked.

"I was actually," he answered confidently.

"All right then, but you better behave mister. Or I'm getting out of the pool for good."

"Okay, okay," he answered merely pretending to comply with her request.

As she found her way back into his arms again, he slowly walked backward towards the center of the pool. He knew exactly what he planned to do next. But if she was anywhere near the edge when he did it, he knew she would climb out of the pool and storm back to the room, unable to see any of the humor he hoped to bring out. She was totally oblivious to his plan as his wet lips caressed hers. As their kiss deepened his tongue plunged into her mouth, and his hand yanked on the end of the tie across her back.

With that one swift motion her top was no longer secured across her chest. As his hand moved forward to caress the side her newly exposed breast, he pulled her in so close that she was pressed tightly against his own flesh. He felt her thrust her head back disconnecting her lips from his, but he had anticipated just that reaction. As she tried to thrust her entire body backward in a quick instant, he held her tightly against his chest refusing to let go.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," he said with a smile.

She looked back panic stricken, knowing that if she moved even an inch backward she was bound to loose her top. The only reason it was still covering her at the moment was the secure knot on the back of her neck, and the close contact between his chest and her own.

"I can't believe you did that!" she cried. "Do you know how much trouble we could get in for this? You do know they could kick us out don't you?"

"I'm not worried," he answered nonchalantly.

"Well I am!" she exclaimed, her face turning red realizing the situation he had her in.

"I've got ya right where I want you," he said as he smiled wickedly.

"I may not be able to move backward, but you know I can still kick you right?" she countered.

"I wouldn't recommend that. If ya move at all this tiny top won't be coverin' you anymore."

"I'm so mad at you right now! I can't even begin to tell you," she stated in anger.

He chuckled knowing she couldn't do anything about it.

"Hmmm mad, huh?" he replied in amusement.

"Disgusted is more like it. And don't think I will forget about this either," she responded.

He simply smiled in return to which she quickly said, "Don't flash that charming smile at me. It's not going to work. You know what, maybe I'll just let go and take my chances."

"No, you won't."

"I won't?"

"Nope."

"How do you know that?" she countered.

"I know ya better than you know yourself. And there's no way you will do that," he retorted.

"Then, how am I going to get out of this?" she inquired.

"Well you're goin' ta tell me you love me, and you're goin' ta kiss me. And I'm goin' ta tie it back together for you," he explained.

"I don't think so! I'm furious with you right now!" she responded.

"Hey, you know ya had payback comin' your way. I told ya that before you even got in the pool. 'Sides you don't look furious to me," he said with a wink.

"You promised to behave. This isn't behaving!" she cried.

"No, I guess it's not. Sorry," he said with a boyish grin. "I really couldn't help myself. You're just so beautiful," he whispered in her ear as he placed kisses down her neck.

As his warm lips touched her neck, she melted into his arms. It was simply too hard to stay mad at this man for long. He pulled his lips away saying softly, "Say it and I'll let ya go. You can get out of the pool and continue ta be mad at me, but ya gotta say it first."

"Fine, I love you."

"I'm sorry, I'm unconvinced," he said with a smile dying to hear her say it again.

"I love you," she repeated before taking his lips into her own.

As she kissed him with the desire she had been trying to hide, he brought the ends of the ties together in a secure knot across her back. As soon as he released the ties, she abruptly pulled back and extended her hand towards the edge of the pool, her back towards him. She began to swim towards the edge carefully keeping her head about the water. After he gave her about a ten second head start, he took off after her. He crept up behind her and swiftly grabbed her by the waist.

"Stop! Let me go, I'm done with you," she cried trying desperately to hid a smile.

He knew he was bound to pay for what he was about to do, especially since she was already angry with him. However, he really couldn't resist. It wasn't often that he had time alone with her like this, and he simply couldn't pass up this opportunity. He promptly jerked her upward and tossed her across the pool. She definitely wasn't expecting that and came down with a crash a few feet away from where he was standing. He laughed to himself as she surfaced brushing wet hair from her eyes, mascara running down her cheeks.

"I really really hate you now," she replied making her way towards him.

He backed away slowly anxious to see how she would retaliate. He could barely breath he was laughing so hard, as he exclaimed, "You should see your face! Why did ya wear makeup in the pool?"

"Because I wasn't supposed to get my face or hair wet! And you knew that! You promised you wouldn't get it wet!" she cried out indignantly.

He panicked a little upon seeing the expression on her face. She almost looked as if she was about to cry. _That wasn't supposed to happen. She was supposed to fight back. Maybe, I crossed a line, _he thought with regret.

"Well, actually I promised not ta dunk your head underwater and I didn't. I threw ya instead," he said with a small smile.

He hoped for a smart remark back, but instead she looked away from him biting down on her lower lip clearly trying to hold back tears. His heart sank with remorse as he felt awful seeing that look on her face. He really didn't think she would be this mad or this upset. He had thought it would be fun to mess with her, but obviously she didn't feel the same way.

"Honey, I'm sorry," he replied genuinely. "I thought you would think it was funny. I didn't know it would upset ya like this."

She folded her arms across her chest still refusing to acknowledge him, although he was closing the distance between them by the second.

"Sweetheart, ya have ta believe me. I would never do anythin' ta hurt you. I really honestly thought ya would simply get me back. I didn't think it would hurt ya like this. I'm really sorry. Please forgive me?" he asked turning her head slightly to face his own.

"I don't know…" she answered.

"Please, I feel awful," he returned in genuine apology.

"You should," she returned simply.

"What can I do to make it up to you?" he asked running his hands softly up and down her arms.

"Well first you have to tell me you love me," she requested.

"I love you," he returned quickly and sincerely.

"And then…" she said slowly as she inched her face closer and closer to his.

"You have to…" she trailed off, as her lips were teasingly close. He knew better than to make a move, though. He had to leave the power in her hands.

"Hold…" she continued.

"Yeah?" he asked hoping she would finish with the word "me".

"Your breath!" she answered in a rush before pushing his head backward and holding it under water.

He was completely caught off guard, so fighting her off proved more difficult than usual. When she finally released his head, he came up to the surface coughing and gasping for air, looking around to see where she had gone. Before he had a chance to turn around, she threw her arms around his neck and wrapped her legs around him, as her contagious laugh filled his ears. He retaliated by thrusting himself backward, launching them both underwater.

When he surfaced once again, he looked around for her through strands of wet hair. But once again he still didn't see her anywhere. As he turned around, he felt something grip both of his feet, literally pulling them out from under him as he crashed back under the water's surface. She smiled as he thrashed around underwater trying to recover from her latest assault. He found his way back to the surface and brushed his hair from his eyes, only to see her directly in front of him laughing so hard it looked as if she couldn't breath. He soon joined in unable to contain his laughter upon hearing her joyous giggles.

When their laughter finally died down, she winked at him before swimming back towards the steel ladder. He quickly followed, and as he stepped onto the concrete he spotted her over by their lawn chairs gathering her things together. He prayed she wasn't still angry, as he was still unsure whether her laugher indicated she was no longer upset.

As he arrived at her side, she handed him his towel and smiled in his direction as she wrapped her own around her shoulders. They soon began to walk side-by-side back towards their room. The thought entered his mind that they were walking awfully close to the edge of the pool, but before he had a chance to say anything Michaela threw all her weight against him shoving him into the pool.

When his head surfaced, he was left in a daze as he watched her walk away. _Is she really mad or is she simply messing with me? _He didn't know the real answer, and truthfully it scared him a little. He quickly pulled himself from the pool and ran to catch up with her.

A smile crept across her face as she walked alone back to the room. _I bet he still thinks I'm mad at him, _she thought to herself. The truth of the matter being that she had been a little angry when he had tossed her across the pool. But when she saw that playful look in his eyes, she knew he didn't mean to upset her and that charming smile of his always melted her heart. And untying her suit like that… She would never admit it to him, but that had been incredibly… erotic. Something about getting caught like that was strangely _exhilarating_… And he had known exactly how to hold her, so that nothing was truly showing. He had _definitely_ thought that one out.

As he turned the corner, he saw her figure at the end of the hall and ran as quickly as he could to catch up with her. She turned around upon hearing his sandals clomp against the pavement, and she immediately broke into a run trying to keep distance between them. He smiled now almost positive she was simply enjoying messing with him.

When he finally caught up with her in front of their door, he pulled her into his arms cradling her close.

"Ya aren't mad at me are you?" he questioned.

"Well I was pretty upset when you first threw me across the pool, but then I could tell you were just trying to be funny. Just don't do that again, okay?" she requested.

"Definitely won't," he replied enthusiastically.

"Okay," she said with a smile. "Though pushing you into the pool was pretty great."

"It was now, was it?" he teased.

"Yep."

"Well if ya take a shower and put on one of those amazin' dresses you brought, I'll take you out for a pretty great dinner," he responded.

"Okay, but on one condition," she returned.

"What's that?"

"You join me in the shower."

"Sounds like a plan," he replied as she unlocked the door with the keycard, and he followed her inside.

* * *

He glanced to his left out at the sparkling night sky admiring the beautiful surroundings of the elegant patio restaurant. The lights strung from the ceiling and onto the wooden support columns lit up the surrounding palm trees, creating the feeling of being in a magical garden. He turned his eyes back to his engaging wife admiring her appearance for almost the hundredth time that evening. She was wearing a charming, white, one-shoulder cocktail dress. The asymmetrical dress was sexy yet classy at the same time, just like she was and always had been. The three tier ruffled skirt made her look sweet even, and he couldn't help but focus on how incredibly alluring and truly seductive she looked as the sparkling lights cast a shimmering glow across her face.

"I know I've said this like ten times, but I've just gotta say it again. Ya look so magnificent. We are talkin' drop dead gorgeous here," he spoke softly across the table.

She blushed slightly in response flashing a sultry smile. "Thank you. I guess it's not everyday anymore that you see me this dressed up."

"No, it's not that. You would look amazin' and sexy in a snowsuit. It's that incredible sparkle in your eyes," he returned affectionately.

"Well, you are the one that put it there. They only light up like this when you're around," she answered.

"I like the sound of that," he said raising an eyebrow slightly and flashing an enchanting smile her way.

"Look at the left side of your menu," she commanded. "They have Boston crème pie here, and you know who would love that…"

"Nice try," he countered knowing exactly what she was trying to do.

Hannah was simply obsessed with Boston crème pie, and she had obviously been hoping he would respond to her question with 'Hannah' not stopping to consider what he was saying. However, he was quicker on his feet then that. And there was also the fact that he had been planning to try that on her and just simply hadn't had a chance to say it yet.

She glared back at him playfully knowing she had to come up with a better plan if she hoped to crack him.

"So, I was originally plannin' ta wait till Sunday to give this to ya, but I simply can't wait any longer," he said.

She tilted her head slightly with a somewhat puzzled look on her face. Seeing her reaction, he quickly explained himself a little further.

"Your anniversary present," he elaborated.

"What?" she uttered in total astonishment.

He let out a small laugh shaking his head slightly. "You didn't think I would let this special day pass without gettin' you something ta honor it? Seven years ago you promised ta love me forever, and ya made me the happiest man in the world.

"But I thought this wonderful weekend was my present," she whispered still in shock.

"Oh, no this weekend has definitely been a present for me as well. This one is just for you, sweetheart," he explained before pulling a tiny box with delicate off-white paper and a silver ribbon from his jacket pocket.

She picked it up admiring the beautiful wrapping job before tugging on the end of the silver ribbon. Upon removing the cream colored paper, she found a solid white box. She quickly removed the lid and inside was a black velvet box. After opening the tiny velvet box, her breath literally caught in her throat. She stared down at a heart-shaped, key pendant very similar to the one that meant so much to both of them. This sterling silver one was different, however. The heart forming the top of the key was a locket.

"Turn it over," he requested and she quickly complied.

There inscribed in tiny cursive writing where the words "_Forever in my Heart_".

"Open the locket," he prompted next.

She opened the clasp to find a picture of the two of them on one side. It was one of the pictures from their first date taken in the photobooth at the Santa Monica pier.

"I thought ya might wanna pick out a picture for the other side," he said with a grin.

"How did you?" she uttered still unable to form words.

"Get that picture? It wasn't easy. I know how much ya love that tiny frame of yours. And I knew ya would notice immediately if it was missin'. I actually took a day off of work and stole the frame for a day ta get the picture copied. Then, I put it back before you ever got home from work," he explained.

With tears shining in her eyes, she looked into the depths of his sparkling blue ones.

"Sully it's perfect," she whispered still in awe.

"Just like you," he said with a smile still across his face.

"I love this so very much. And not because it's beautiful, but because of everything it means. You put so much thought into every gift you give me, making each one so very special. I love you more than words can say. And I may have made you the happiest man in the world seven-years-ago, but you made me the happiest woman in the world," she finished in admiration.

He gazed at her lovingly and slowly stood, walking over to her side and gently taking the box from her hands. He delicately hooked the necklace around her neck, and she swiftly rose to her feet. Turning to face him, she cupped his face delicately. Then, she caressed his lips with her own in such ardent enthusiasm he was completely swept away. She had never kissed him quite like that in such a public setting, and his heart fluttered knowing how much his gift had meant to her. It had been the reaction he had been hoping for and then some.

* * *

"Okay, stay right here. I'll be right back," she said excitedly as she ran into their bedroom.

He sat down on the couch awaiting her return eager to see what had her so excited.

She returned with a box in hand covered in turquoise wrapping paper with a small white bow on the top.

"Happy anniversary," she said with a grin as she handed it to him.

He anxiously unwrapped it excited to see what she could have possibly given him. He had no clue whatsoever, which made this even more exciting. After pulling the lid of the silver box and rifling through some tissue paper, he removed a royal blue hat with the famous white "LA" stitched across the top. His mouth dropped to the floor as he saw the name "Andre Ethier" scrawled across the bill.

"How did you?" he asked in amazement utterly speechless.

"Well, I know he's your favorite Dodger's player. So, I started asking around a crazy long time ago to see if anyone knew how I could get a hold of a hat he signed. I eventually tracked one down through someone I met at the hospital. I had it checked to make sure the signature was authentic, and I have the COA back at the house," she finished with delight.

"I really don't know what ta say… Except that it's incredible and more importantly you are incredible," he uttered still completely shocked.

"Oh, I'm so happy you like it!" she gushed. "It's been so hard to keep it from you for the last two months. I've wanted to give it to you early so many times."

"Well, I'm glad ya waited. It made it even more special," he responded before walking towards her and wrapping his arms around her waist.

With tears shining in his eyes, he glanced down at her stunning face lit up with excitement.

"You make me so happy. Words just aren't enough," he said affectionately trying to express his true feelings but falling short once again.

"I understand completely. I feel the same way about you," she returned as she ran her hands gently over his muscular arms.

"So, if words don't really express how we feel… You know what they say, actions speak louder than words," she whispered before stepping back and entwining his hands in hers and leading him back to the bedroom. It was a perfect end to a truly perfect day.

_Author's Note: Just wanted to say a quick thank you to all the wonderful readers that share all their fantastic comments and reviews with me every chapter. I so appreciate hearing your feedback on this story. :)_


	5. Chapter 5

** Ch.5 **

**WARNING: Although this piece is rated "T", this particular chapter contains a scene rating more in the "M" category. One scene in particular contains explicit content and is marked as such. If you do not wish to read graphic loves scenes then you can skip the indicated section. It will not affect your level of understanding regarding the overall plot of this story. **

**June 10****th****, 2017**

As she lay in his lap on the plush couch, he couldn't help but realize it was their last night together in Palm Springs. Tomorrow afternoon they would be on their way back to Santa Monica to pick up Hannah and Katie. He ran his hand softly across her very pink shoulders smiling to himself as his mind flashed back to their conversation about "protective" tanning oil.

He let a soft, contented sigh escape his lips as his mind drifted through memories of their weekend together. It had been everything he had dreamed it would be and more. And although he deeply missed his little girls, he knew he would miss this as well. He loved having her undivided attention, and he enjoyed being able to give her all of his attention and affection as well. He knew that having children changed everything, but what he always seemed to forget was how much he truly missed being completely and totally alone with her. In that very moment, he vowed to himself to make more of an attempt to whisk her away from the every day more than just once a year. He glanced down at her beautiful face as his fingers twirled through her hair.

"What are ya thinkin' about?" he prompted seeing in her eyes that her mind was a thousand miles away.

"Just wondering what the girls are doing. I miss telling them goodnight," she said wistfully.

"What?" she questioned as he grinned at her.

"You loose," he said simply.

"What?" she repeated.

"You _loose_," he stated once again.

As he emphasized the word 'loose', it finally dawned on her. She slowly sat up and turned to face him, as she realized the words that had just slipped from her lips. She wasn't supposed to mention the girls, and she had done just that.

"No, that doesn't count," she replied grasping for straws. She knew it wouldn't work though. She had clearly blown it big time.

"Yes, it does," he answered loving to watch her squirm noticeably.

"No, I didn't say their names…" she replied attempting to convince him.

"Doesn't matter ya still mentioned them."

"But you asked…" she stated trying to defend her actions.

"No, you still said it. Ya shoulda lied or said you couldn't tell me. You blew it girl. Told ya you couldn't do it," he responded with a big smile.

"No," she replied shaking her head and panicking slightly.

She really never thought she would loose, and she hadn't even begun to prepare herself for it. She had made it almost the entire weekend without mentioning them even once, but now she had let it slip out without even realizing what she was saying. Sometimes she forgot how many minutes a day her mind was focused on them. That and it was always so easy to talk to him. It always had been. She never kept things from him, so now she was up a creek here. The chances of talking her way out of this were non-existent.

"Ya know what that means don't you?" he said nudging her slightly.

She sat in silence slightly afraid to answer.

"It means that I _win_. And ya do remember what I win don't you?" he prompted.

_Yeah, me as your helpless prisoner, _she thought to herself. She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing would come out. Honestly, she truly didn't know how to respond.

"What's that?" he mocked putting his hand up to his ear. "I can't hear you," he teased.

When she still didn't answer he glanced over to see her face turning whiter by the second. She looked completely panicked, and he felt the guilt rush through his body.

"Honey, are you okay?" he questioned gently.

"I… don't… know…" she stuttered.

"Regretting this bet now?" he teased.

"Very much so…" she whispered.

"This is botherin' ya that much?" he stated totally caught off guard.

"Yes…" she stammered.

"Come here," he responded pulling her to him tightly. "Calm down. I would never, ever make ya do anythin' that upset you," he said gently as he held her in his arms.

He pulled back slightly to look into her eyes, and his heart was crushed to see tears shining in each of them.

"Oh, sweetheart this has really upset ya that much? I'm sorry. I just thought it would be fun. Guess you don't agree, and that's alright. Like I said, I would never ask ya to do anythin' you weren't comfortable with. Don't you know that?"

"Yes…" she answered softly.

"Can I ask ya why it bothers you so much?"

" I…" she began before becoming silent again.

"Come on, please tell me. Ya know you can tell me anythin'. I love you unconditionally. Always have and I always will…" he expressed sincerely.

"This is hard to really put into words…" she responded after moments of thought.

"Try though, please?" he requested.

"I know we don't really like to talk about those four months over seven years ago when I was in the hospital," she started before looking towards him for permission to continue.

"Well that's 'cause it wasn't a very happy time for either of us. But it doesn't mean ya can't ever bring it up. What about it?"

"Well… Sometimes I still have dreams about what it was like… Sully, I still remember hearing your voice… Sometimes I could hear you calling to me… and I could feel you next to me… but I couldn't see you. I would will myself to open my eyes, but it wouldn't happen. It was like being trapped in a world of darkness. They were fleeting moments, and maybe I'm imagining them… But it's still such an awful feeling… I wasn't in control of my own senses, and it still terrifies me. I just can't…" she trailed off overcome by tears.

"Sweetheart, it's alright," he soothed. "I can't believe ya never told me that. I swear I would never want ya to do anythin' you were that terrified about. I never would have asked had I known… I just thought it would be fun," he tried to explain.

"I can't picture that…" she returned. "Being that well… defenseless…. doesn't sound like fun to me."

"Defenseless?" he said in shock. "What do ya think I'm goin' ta do to you? It wouldn't be anythin' ya didn't like. I can assure you of that," he responded.

He felt her relax in his arms as he could see she was thinking over what he had said.

"I guess I just don't understand why you would want me in that situation…" she expressed.

"Ta get ya to stop thinkin' so much. Ta let me be in control of you, but in a good way… a _very _good way," he tried to explain delicately.

"Just think about it. But if it truly does bring up those awful memories, or upset ya in any way I swear I will drop it. If you do change your mind know that you can tell me ta stop at any moment. Or you can take it off yourself. It'll be nothin' like that nightmare…"

"Okay, I'll think about it," she said with a small smile.

"Don't ya know by now, I want nothin' more than ta take care of you till the day I die?" he said affectionately.

She smiled in response laying her head on his chest. "I guess I forget sometimes…"

He chuckled slightly placing a kiss on her head. "I love you, sweetheart. And I never want you ta be anythin' but happy with me."

"I love you, too," she returned adoring the man she had married more than ever.

* * *

*********GRAPHIC CONTENT BEGINS HERE***************

"Okay…" she spoke softly as she shifted slightly to look up at him.

"Okay what?" he returned unsure what she was referring to.

"Okay, I'll do it," she whispered.

"Do what?" he questioned still puzzled. Then, in a split second he realized exactly what she was alluding to.

"Oh, honey ya don't have to do this. I told you ta take some time to think about it," he explained gently.

"I did," she responded.

"I meant like a couple of days not a few hours," he elaborated.

"I don't need a couple of days. I've made my decision now. You are my husband, my soulmate, my lover, and my best friend. I trust you," she replied in confidence.

"Are ya sure about this? 'Cause I am one hundred percent fine with forgetting the entire idea," he responded.

"No, you won. And like I said, I trust you completely. And I can back out at any time if I need to, right?" she questioned.

"Of course, ya don't even need ta ask that."

"Okay. Then, I'm ready when you are," she whispered.

"Seriously? Right now?" he questioned in shock.

He had simply pitched the idea off the top of his head. It wasn't like this was something he had thought about extensively or planned intensely. His brain immediately began contemplating this new development and possible ways to pull it off right here and right now.

"Why not?" she answered unsure as to why he now seemed to be hesitating.

He slowly stood from the couch and gently took her small hands into his own leading her gently back into the bedroom. As they stood in silence with their hands entwined, he smiled down at the one person in the world that never ceased to amaze him.

"What are you waiting for?" she teased in a soft voice.

"Ya sure about this?" he asked again.

She nodded in response with a sultry smile on her face.

"Okay… he answered skeptically, scanning the room for something to use.

He quickly spotted the turquoise ribbon across the room, and swiftly made his way over to the open closet to claim it. He pulled the silk ribbon from belt loops of the dressing gown, and briskly arrived at her side. She smiled at him shyly as he folded the sash in half, his eyes never leaving hers. A look full of desire soon flowed across his features, as he was instantly drawn to this shy, innocent side she rarely showed him.

"Turn around," he requested gently, and she complied willingly without another word.

He placed the satin material over her eyes and tied it securely in a knot on the back of her head.

"Is it too tight?" he questioned in concern.

"No," she answered softly.

"Can you see anything?" he wondered waving his hand in front of her.

"No," she returned again softly.

Upon hearing her response, he gently reached up and caressed her cheek with the back of his hand. She leaned into his touch before he pulled his hand away and stepped backward creating a small distance between them. He left her in silence for a few moments to adjust to loosing such an important sense. As the silence filled his ears, he watched her every move very intensely making sure she truly was all right with this before he went any further.

As soon as she entered the realm of darkness, she immediately noticed how aware she became of everything else around her. All sounds became amplified within seconds, as she was instantly aware of the chirping crickets outside, the sound of his heavy, deep breathing, and even the sound of each breath she took. Without any warning he scooped her into his arms, and she cried out in shock not anticipating such an action without verbal notice.

He laid her down gently, remaining as silent as he could. As she felt the soft surface beneath her and heard the creaking springs, she knew he had placed her onto the bed. When he pulled back she reached out for him, but quickly realized he wasn't close enough to touch.

He stepped back slightly further and removed his shirt before crossing the room and retrieving a gold bucket. Upon returning to the bedside he looked down at her, incredibly shocked that she still remained quiet. He had expected her to question him more, to be seeking answers, but much to his excitement she seemed to be accepting this loss of control with enthusiasm. She truly was surrendering herself to him, and his body literally trembled in anticipation.

As soon as his warm hands gently found their way to her arms, her breathing quickened as she jumped in response startled by the sudden contact. He felt the tension in her body beneath his palms, and he knew he needed to help her relax and calm down somewhat.

He began to make gentle circles across her arms with his fingertips as he whispered softly, "Shhh, sweetheart you're okay. Just relax. Let yourself go. Give yourself ta me fully. I swear to keep you safe."

She listened intently to his every word soon relaxing as the smell of his cologne and his soothing touch enveloped her. He could literally feel the tension melting from her body as she relaxed underneath his hands. He smiled to himself as he stared at the breath-taking women lying before him.

His hands slowly caressed her body as they continued their descent downward. They soon rested on her inner thighs, and he gently spread her legs slightly further apart. He could hear her breathing quicken, but he knew this time it was due to anticipation not anxiety. His hands drifted slightly upward, his thumbs delicately pushing the hem of her shirt up gently. As his thumbs brushed against her skin ever so slightly, she let a gentle sigh escape her lips as that slight touch sent her body spiraling.

His hands soon unbuttoned her shorts, and as she heard the coiling of the zipper creak as he pulled the tab down, she felt the desire within climbing to unimaginable heights at a lightening fast pace. He nudged her hips slightly, and she obediently complied with his unspoken wish, lifting herself up enough for him to swiftly remove her shorts. Staring down at her in silence, he waited to make his next move letting her anticipation build.

As he tenderly guided her shirt up her body, his hands danced across her skin lightly. Then, he placed her hands into his and gently pulled her upright. After feeling her body shoot upwards she raised her arms in the air, and he guided her shirt off tossing it to the floor. She lowered her arms softly, and in one swift move he unclasped her light pink lace bra and tossed it to the floor as well. Then, gripping her shoulders delicately he guided her back down.

She could feel her pulse quicken as her body tried to anticipate his next touch. After several agonizing moments passed, she wanted to shout out to him that she could take it no longer. But she willed herself to remain silent, knowing he wanted her to simply let go and allow him to set the pace.

She gasped violently as the cold sensation gripped her thigh. As he continued to trace small circles along her thigh with the tiny ice cube, her body tingled in response as it left traces of its icy presence across her warm flesh. When he pulled his hand back breaking the connection between the ice cube and her skin, she felt her body tremble anticipating where he would strike next. He smiled as his heart jumped upon seeing the sultry look dancing across her lips. Holding the melting cube mere inches above her chest, he closely watched her face waiting for her reaction when the first drip touched her skin. She could feel the ice hovering over her body like a cloud of cold air. And as the liquid drop reached out and grabbed her unexpectedly, she felt her body quiver in response as tiny goosebumps appeared across her chest. As the icy drops continued to fall onto her chest, she could feel the liquid coursing over the surface of her body.

He then touched the cube gently to her lips tracing them ever so slightly. As she tasted the liquid coldness, she longed to feel his soft lips against hers. And as he removed the dissolving frozen cube, she ran her tongue across her now icy lips. This sensuous display was simply too much for him, and his lips soon captured hers. Their deep kiss grew to new heights as her tongue found his, her unadulterated desire for him blazing. As he pulled back lightly, she moved her face towards him craving the contact he had just severed. He responded by reaching into the gold bucket one again, and tracing a path across her body from her neck down to the pink lace waistband across her hips. She could feel her heart pounding hard and fast as he ran the chilly cube across her hips. The pulsing between her legs was so intense she couldn't stand it, as her body ached for his touch. And as he pulled away once again, she realized how much more aware she had become of the innate sexual desire within her.

He began to trace teasing circles with the cold cube around her nipples. She moaned aloud and arched into his hand as her body shuddered. He could see the intense longing and desire splayed across her face, and he knew he had teased her long enough. He quickly tossed the small cube back into the bucket and took her breast into his mouth. She threw her head back in ecstasy as his warm tongue caressed her ice-cold flesh. He soon gave the other the same treatment, and as the warmth spread across her skin she couldn't stay silent for much longer. As he began pressing blazing hot kisses on her neck and down the length of her body, she cried out his name her breathing coming out in short gasps. He slowly began to remove her only remaining item of clothing, and she swiftly lifted her hips allowing him to toss the pink lace garment on the floor.

As he slowly unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans, she called out for him and his body quivered in anticipation upon hearing her voice laced with such raw desire. He soon joined her on the bed, pulling her close as his lips sweetly caressed hers. She pulled back suddenly and whispered in his ear, "Please, I need you _so bad_…" Her voice was dripping with such raw and sensual emotion and need, his body was racked with a deep longing he could no longer resist. He pulled her closer joining them both together, and both cried out as the incredible sparks shot through their bodies.

As he began to thrust in and out of her, she immediately began to feel the intensely overwhelming explosive waves pulse through her body. His lips joined hers again in a passionate and fiery kiss, which quickly spiraled deeper by the second. Within a matter of minutes she felt the earth shattering ripples peak in intensity, and she threw her head back as the feeling of total elation overwhelmed her. Her body shivered in pleasure as she began to contract around him. He watched the expression on her face in awe of her beauty, as her body was racked over and over with the electric waves of ecstasy. She whimpered in delight as the powerful surge pulsed through her body once again only seconds after her first explosive release.

After she called out his name for the fourth time in matter of minutes, she truly wondered if it was possible to die of pleasure. Hearing her call out his name again in a euphoric moan was simply too much, he could hold on no longer, and he allowed the intoxicating pleasure to overcome him as well. As the waves shot through his body, he felt as if he would burst and he called out her name in a moan of deep seeded passion.

As both came crashing down from their skyrocketing highs, neither could quite put into words their thoughts. Both quickly realized it was the most intense sexual encounter either had ever experienced. As his heart raced and his breathing began to slow, he gently reached up to remove the silk ribbon from across her face. She slowly opened her eyes and turned to look at him with adoration shining brightly within them.

"Can I ask ya something?" he questioned softly as both still lay gasping for air.

" 'Course you can," she uttered through her deep breathing.

"How many was that?" he wondered.

"Why are you keeping track?" she teased as her breathing was quickly returning to normal.

He shrugged slightly unsure of how to really respond, although his curiosity was definitely getting the best of him.

"It was five," she responded with a deeply satisfied smile.

"New record then," he responded as a deep surge of pride ran through his veins.

"Next time I doubt you remind me of tonight. Clearly I was _very _mistaken," she answered with a smile still dancing across her face.

"Told ya it would be fun," he said with a grin.

"Fun is a gross understatement," she answered as he pulled her in closer.

"By the way thank you. You are truly so incredible it is beyond words," she said flashing a sexy smile his way.

"You're so welcome. And I must say the very same thing about you. I often try ta find words to describe you, but I always seem ta fall short," he replied.

He traced his finger over her hip ever so lightly in playful circles, and she squirmed underneath his touch giggling in response and reaching down for his hand.

"Stop, that tickles!" she cried as she pushed his hand gently aside.

"You're darker right there," he said with a grin.

"What?" she said with a laugh unsure what he was talking about.

"Your skin, it's darker right _here_," he said moving his hand back onto the flesh covering her hip.

She looked down realizing quickly that he was right. "I can't believe you noticed that," she said with a loving smile. "It's not even that noticeable. You have to really look."

"You think it's odd that I noticed it? I notice everything about you… Its just one more thing ta find completely endearing," he explained placing a kiss on her hip. "You are the most adorable and beautiful woman in the entire world," he whispered before placing a kiss on her lips.

"And you are the most attractive, considerate, and charming man in the entire world," she answered before glancing over to the digital clock on the nightstand.

"Happy anniversary sweetheart. I love you so much," she whispered.

"Midnight already huh?" he stated as she nodded in response.

"Happy seven year anniversary. I love ya now even more than I did the day I married you. And my love for you will continue to grow until the day I die," he said softly.

"Right back at you," she said with a grin before pulling him closer and laying her head on his chest.

"Goodnight, my heartsong," he spoke gently touching the silver locket around her neck.

"Goodnight," she returned with a yawn before sleep quickly claimed both of them.

********************GRAPHIC CONTENT ENDS HERE************************

* * *

**June 30****th****, 2017**

"Mommy," Hannah called out softly as she walked into the kitchen.

"What sweetie?" Michaela answered as she removed the shiny blue glasses from the dishwasher.

"I made you something," she explained bouncing across the tile floor as Michaela placed the blue glasses haphazardly in the cabinet.

"Here you go," she said with a big smile, handing her mother a drawing she had just completed on crisp white paper.

"It's a mermaid. Just like the one you painted in my room," she explained.

Michaela stared down at the drawing with a big grin on her face.

"Hannah, sweetheart this is wonderful. And you made it for me?" she exclaimed.

"Yeah," she said with a smile. "And I used a lot of blue since it's your favorite color. And she's got brown hair just like you."

"I love it!" she replied with a warm smile. "You did such a fantastic job. I think we should hang this up, so your Daddy and Katie can enjoy it too."

"Yeah!" she cried happily as Michaela opened a wooden cabinet drawer retrieving a box of tiny magnets and securing the drawing to the door of the refrigerator.

"How does that look?" she asked Hannah.

She nodded her approval and ran towards Michaela, wrapping her arms around her mother's legs. Michaela quickly picked her up in her arms and gave her a sweet kiss on the cheek.

"Thank you sweetie. I love my drawing," she spoke earnestly.

"You're welcome," she returned with a proud smile.

She then laid her head down on Michaela's chest, placing her thumb in her mouth content to simply lie in her mother's embrace. As she stood in the kitchen holding her daughter close, they both heard the front door open and soon saw Katie run through the hall triumphantly.

"Daddy!" she cried as she ran towards him.

She quickly clung to his leg, as his hands were full with a pizza box and a DVD.

"Yay!" she cried upon seeing the box in his hands. "Pizza!"

"Honey, can ya let go for a second? I'll go put this box in the kitchen, and then come right back," he explained.

She reluctantly released her grasp understanding she would receive his full attention if his hands were free. However, she followed closely behind him as he walked through the hallway. As he entered the kitchen, he set the cardboard box down on the kitchen table and picked Katie up in his arms.

"Hi!" she said with a big smile.

"Hi," he returned as he kissed her cheek. "How was your day Miss Katie?"

"It was great!" she replied cheerfully. "I made something for you," she explained fidgeting in his arms.

"You wanna go get it?" he said with a laugh as he set her gently back onto the tile floor.

"I'll be right back," she explained before scampering off towards her room.

"So, how are you two?" he asked as he arrived at his wife's side.

"What movie did you get Daddy?" Hannah inquired as she reached out to hug him slightly.

"Monster's Inc. 2," he said with a wink.

"Yay! I love that movie," she cried.

"I know ya do. That's why I picked it," he stated as he reached out to gently stroke her cheek with his finger.

He then wrapped his arm around Michaela asking, "Really, though, how are you?"

"I'm great," she returned joyfully.

"Even after this morning? You and the little one are alright?"

"Yeah, we're fine," she returned with a sweet smile. "I think I just may need to give up breakfast for a while."

"You can't do that," he replied with sympathy as he gently stroked her arm.

"Well, I'll at least switch to crackers then," she responded.

Hannah, who was still wrapped in Michaela's arms, hadn't said anything for the last several moments and was now staring at Michaela with a very puzzled expression on her face.

"What are you guys talking about?" she questioned in confusion.

Michaela glanced towards Sully feeling guilty for not guarding what she said more closely. He, too, had that same look on his face knowing Hannah wanted some real answers.

"Well…" he began looking deeply at Michaela for confirmation.

"Well…" she started. "There's something your Daddy and I need to tell you…"

"What?" she returned intrigued, but slightly concerned at the same time.

"Let's wait for Katie…" she stammered.

They had yet to really discuss how exactly they planned to tell the girls. She had expressed concern for Katie's comprehension of such news without being able to physically see evidence of such a claim. So, they had decided to simply keep it quiet for the time being. But now the time had come to be honest with them. It was bound to come out soon now anyway, with many of the couples friends and relatives already aware. And she knew without a doubt that they needed to hear this news directly from their parents.

As Michaela and Sully glanced nervously back and forth, Katie appeared in the doorway holding a necklace made of dry pasta.

"Daddy!" she cried upon entering the room.

He turned his gaze over to Katie, and she ran into his open arms.

"I made you a necklace. It's like the one you wear all the time," she explained as she slid the necklace over his head.

Holding her with one hand, he looked down and gently picked up the necklace.

"Katie, I love it!" he exclaimed with a grin. "Ya did such a great job. I like all the different colors ya used."

"Yeah, just like your other one," she exclaimed holding onto his Cheyenne necklace.

"Thank you sweetie," he replied as he gave her a kiss of gratitude. "There's something that your mom and I need ta tell ya," he explained as he took a seat at the kitchen table with Katie still in his arms.

Michaela followed his lead and joined him at the table with Hannah in tow.

"We have something we want ta tell ya both. Something that your Mommy and I are very happy about," he started as he glanced towards Michaela hoping she would pick it up from there.

"We're going to have another baby," she spoke joyfully.

"Katie, you're goin' ta be a big sister," Sully chimed in.

"And Hannah you are going to have another little sister or a brother," Michaela said cheerfully.

"Really?" Hannah said excitedly. "And the baby is inside of you right now, right?" Hannah asked looking for confirmation.

"Yes," she said with a smile.

"Inside your tummy?" she questioned as she placed her tiny hand across her mother's stomach.

"Yep," she confirmed, gently laying her hand on top of Hannah's.

"Is it a boy or a girl?" she questioned innocently.

"It's too early for the doctors to know the answer," Michaela explained.

"You're a doctor, and you don't know?" she questioned in confusion.

"No, I don't know sweetheart. The baby is too tiny right now."

"But when it gets bigger inside of you, then you will know?"

"Yes, then I will know," she confirmed.

"Then, can you tell me as soon as you know?" Hannah requested.

"Yes," she said with a laugh. "Why do you want to know so badly?" she teased.

"Well, I already have a little sister, so I think I want a little brother," she explained.

Both Michaela and Sully laughed at her words, as Michaela confirmed that Hannah would be the first to know. Sully looked down at his other sweet daughter and realized she had been incredibly quiet since Michaela had shared the news.

"Katie, sweetheart are ya okay?" he questioned in concern. "Is there anything ya wanna ask us?"

"I don't understand," she said with a puzzled look on her face.

"Well, there is a little baby inside your Mommy's tummy. That baby is goin' ta grow inside of her until it gets ta be the size of your doll, Samantha. Then, her friends at the hospital…" he explained before Katie jumped in.

"Like Dr. Craig?" she quickly chimed in thinking about a colleague of Michaela's she had met several times.

"Yeah, like Craig. They will help take the baby out, and you will have a little brother or little sister," he finished hoping this made sense to his young daughter.

"Okay," she answered nodding as a new level of understanding began to develop. "How did the baby get inside of Mommy?"

" 'Cause Mommy and Daddy wanted another baby real bad. They asked God to give them one, and he answered their prayers and put a baby inside Mommy," Hannah quickly answered.

Sully looked over to Michaela, and both signaled with their expression that Hannah's explanation would do for now. Katie shrugged her shoulders and replied with an 'okay' accepting Hannah's explanation.

"Do you have any other questions Katie?" Sully probed.

"Yeah, when are we going to eat?" she questioned with a grin.

"No, about the baby," he said with a laugh.

"No, but I want another sister. Mommy, can you make it a girl?" she asked innocently.

"No, honey God decides if it's a boy or a girl," Michaela returned.

"All right," she answered.

"It's okay if ya want another sister Katie, but it would be pretty cool ta have a brother, too. That way you would have a brother and a sister," Sully explained glancing towards Hannah then back to Katie.

"I guess," she said with a shrug, and Sully knew he wasn't going to win this battle.

"Hannah did you wanna ask any more questions?" Sully wondered.

"Can I sit on your lap during the movie?" she asked Michaela as she laid her head on her mother's chest.

"Sure sweetheart," she returned.

"Alright, if ya both don't have any more questions, then let's go watch this movie," he said grabbing the pizza and the DVD and heading towards the living room.

"Yay!" Katie cried taking off after him.

"You sure you are okay?" Michaela asked as Hannah lay in her lap.

"Yep, it'll be fun to have another sister or a brother," she said with a smile.

"Okay," Michaela returned a little unconvinced as Hannah wrapped her tiny arms around her even more tightly.

"You know that I will love you just as much, even when there is a new baby?"

"Yeah," she said with a nod. "But…"

"But what?" Michaela inquired in concern.

"But I remember when you had Katie inside your tummy…"

"Yeah…" Michaela encouraged.

"When you got very very big it was hard to sit on your lap," she said with a sad smile.

"Yeah…" she answered her mind drifting back to that time. "But we still found a way," she said with a wink.

"Yeah," she said in agreement. "I want to sit on your lap now, while the baby is still small," she explained.

"Okay," Michaela answered with a sweet smile. "You can sit on my lap as much as you want to sweetheart. But it will be a long time before the baby is that big."

"Alright," Hannah answered with a happy grin as she brought her head back down to rest on her mother.

Michaela soon joined Katie and Sully with Hannah still in her arms as they all sat down to watch the movie. She smiled to herself as she looked down at Hannah and then over towards Katie and Sully. She knew in that very moment she truly had everything she had ever wished for.


	6. Chapter 6

**Ch.6 **

**July 18****th****, 2017**

"What?" she said with a grin as he beamed over at her.

"Are ya goin' ta eat all of that?" he said with a laugh watching her spoon enter the carton again.

"Maybe. What's wrong with that?" she asked with a sweet smile.

"Nothin'. That's just a whole ton of ice cream is all," he replied.

"Hey, it's not my fault. Your son or daughter is demanding it," she answered.

"Well, can ya at least share?" he teased as he picked up a spoon from the coffee table and scooted closer towards her.

As his spoon reached out for the carton in her hand, she quickly lifted it up to the left bringing it just out of his reach.

"No!" she said with a giggle. "Get your own!"

"You need a lesson in sharin'," he said leaning over her in another attempt to reach the carton she was desperately trying to keep out of his reach.

"Stop! You're going to spill it," she cried as he pulled the cardboard edge towards him.

"Okay, okay I'll share," she finally relented. "But you seriously have to buy more then."

"No, problem," he answered as she lowered it back down within his reach.

Her eyes drifted back to the television, as she was entranced with the movie she had chosen for them to watch. He had already seen it several times, and frankly he still didn't understand what was so captivating about a girl breaking up with a guy when he re-enlisted in the military. She always told him it had something to do with everlasting, selfless love, but even if that was the case the movie still bored him to tears. Her eyes swiftly drifted over his way, and then flashed back to the screen.

After a few more minutes had past, she shifted her entire upper body to face him asking with a small laugh, "Why do you keep staring at me? Is it that funny to watch me eat chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream?"

"I'm staring 'cause I can't get over how beautiful ya are."

"Stop," she said with a smirk shaking her head slightly.

"I'm serious I can't take my eyes off of you," he responded.

"You think I'm beautiful in sweatpants and a t-shirt with no makeup on and my hair falling out of a ponytail, while I eat way too much ice cream?" she said her voice full of sarcasm.

"Yes," he said with a sensual smile.

"All right what do you want? Do you really hate this movie that much? If that's the case then I guess we can watch something else…" she reluctantly stated.

"I don't want anything," he answered with a small chuckle as his hand moved over to rest on her thigh.

"For some reason I really don't believe that," she teased.

"Well, it's true. You're so attractive it kills me sometimes."

"Oh, come on I don't look attractive right now. I look gross," she responded.

"There's absolutely nothing gross about you," he replied before leaning over and pulling her in for a slow, sensual kiss.

As she began to loose herself in his embrace, they both heard a pain-filled cry of "Mommy!" coming from Katie's room. Her little girl's cry of pain tore at her heart, and she quickly pulled away stating, "Hold that thought. I'll be right back."

He nodded as she jumped up from the couch and retreated to Katie's room. As she entered her daughter's room lit only by a tiny night-light, her eyes immediately landed on her little girl. Sitting fully upright and gasping for breath, she continued to call for Michaela.

"Honey, what's wrong?" she asked sitting down on the bed and pulling her onto her lap.

All she could do was sob as Michaela rocked her gently back and forth, running her fingers through her hair.

"Shhh, you're okay," she whispered as she cradled her in her lap.

She continued to rub her daughter's back repeating soothing words of comfort before asking again, "Sweetheart, what happened?"

"Don't let it get me!" she cried clutching onto her mother tightly.

"Katie, honey nothing is going to get you," she answered softly.

"Please Mommy don't leave!" she cried in anguish.

"Katie, I won't leave you, but you have to tell me what's scaring you baby. Did you have a bad dream?"

She nodded in response still too terrified to speak.

"Oh, sweetheart," she said scooping the little brunette up in her arms and carrying her back into the living room.

"She okay?" Sully questioned in concern knowing it unusual for Michaela to take her out of bed so late. She nodded in response, sitting down next to Sully.

"She had a really bad dream," she explained.

"Yeah," Katie chimed in nodding at her father before burying her head in Michaela's chest.

"She begged me not to leave her," she whispered to Sully with a small shrug.

"Katie, honey you can stay out here with Mommy and Daddy. But you have to go back to sleep, okay?"

She nodded slightly, and Michaela placed her down in the corner of the couch and wrapped a blanket around her.

"Hold my hand," she requested extending a tiny hand towards Michaela.

She grabbed onto it and bent over placing a kiss on her daughter's cheek.

"You think you can try to go back to sleep?" she questioned softly.

"No, I'm scared!" she cried.

"What are ya scared of sweetie?" Sully questioned in concern.

"That he'll try to get me again," she stammered.

"Who's he?" Sully questioned gently.

"The monster," she responded softly.

"Sweetheart, there's no such thing as monsters," Michaela returned.

Sully stood up and walked towards the wooden cabinet surrounding the television, opening one of the drawers. He quickly traded the DVD in the player for the one in his hand and joined the girls on the couch.

As the Disney logo appeared on the screen followed by a flock of three seagulls soaring through the ocean sky, the little girl quickly cried, "Yeah! _The Little Mermaid_!"

"Alright Katie. Now I think if ya watch this and ya fall asleep why ya are watchin' it, then the monster won't be in your dreams. Instead Ariel will be," he explained with a smile.

"Yeah, Ariel!" she replied joyfully.

He slowly moved to crouch down by his daughter's side asking, "Ya have ta try to go ta sleep now, okay?"

"Okay," she said with an excited smile.

"And ya can't ever ask ta do this again, okay? This is just something special, so that Ariel will be in your dreams forever," he explained.

"Okay Daddy," she said with a smile as she released Michaela's hand and clutched her unicorn tightly.

He smiled back in return before standing up and returning to the other side of the couch, pulling Michaela into his arms.

"You know we are going to pay for this one don't you? Hannah will be furious that she missed out, and now Katie will expect to watch this every time she has a bad dream," she explained.

"No, I told her it was a one time thing," he responded.

"She's three, Sully," she retorted.

"Yeah, I know. But sometimes it's fun ta spoil them."

"I'm not disagreeing. I'm just telling you we are going to pay for this some day," she returned with worry in her tone.

"Yeah, but we'll deal with that then," he said with confidence.

"All right then," she answered knowing she couldn't do much to change it at this point.

She tried to suppress a giggle as she glanced over to see Katie slowly drifting off to sleep.

"What?" he said with a smirk.

"It's just that you finally got what you wanted. Guess this is better than _Dear John_, huh?" she teased.

"Oh, yeah. It is actually," he said with laughter.

"So, a love story about a mermaid and a prince is better than one of a college student and a military man on leave?"

"Yeah, it is!" he said with a wink as her head came down to gently rest on his shoulder.

He tenderly placed his free hand on her abdomen thinking about the spring month to come when he would be blessed with another little girl or a boy. He grinned from ear to ear as his mind drifted to how lucky he felt that very moment.

* * *

**August 7****th****, 2017**

She quickly slipped a t-shirt over her head and gathered her hair into a loose ponytail. She glanced at the clock and smiled to herself, realizing Sully and the girls would be home in about twenty minutes. She departed for the living room making a quick stop in the kitchen. Thankfully, Sully had volunteered to cook that evening, he had only requested she preheat the oven. After turning the oven knob to the left, she made her way into the living room.

Collapsing on the couch she reached for the remote, but suddenly changed her mind and reached across the coffee table for a magazine. As she sat thumbing through the pages, her heart jumped as she felt the truly unique fluttering sensation deep inside. She immediately reached down placing her hand delicately across her stomach. She smiled to herself realizing it was the first time she had felt this little one. It was such an extraordinarily wonderful feeling, almost like a fluttering butterfly, that could never truly be described with words. Her mind immediately flashed back to the first time she had ever felt this very special sensation, when she had been pregnant with Hannah so many years ago…

* * *

**January 22****nd****, 2011**

She glimpsed at the wooden clock again from her spot on the couch, wondering when exactly he would be home. He had said he would be back around 5:30, and it was now 6:15. He was almost an hour late, which was very unusual. She had to admit it made her slightly angry. Not angry with him, but upset by the fact that he had already been forced to work on a Saturday. And now they couldn't even let him leave on time? Not to mention that every second that passed made her worry deeply that something had happened to him.

She had tried to call his cell phone several times, but it had gone straight to voicemail. That usually meant he was driving. Ever since they had passed a new law restricting phone usage while driving, he had refused to answer any calls while behind the wheel. She had encouraged him to purchase a blue-tooth headset like she had, though he claimed that he didn't need it, explaining he didn't make enough calls while driving to warrant purchasing one.

She laughed to herself knowing the real reason behind his hesitation. He had already received two tickets for talking on his phone while driving, though he had no idea she knew. He was probably scared to try it again even with a legal blue-tooth knowing the fine doubled for the third offense. And it would be much more difficult to hid a ticket of that magnitude from her. Laughter soon overtook her again at the thought of him believing she was in the dark about his tickets.

"Hey, sorry I'm late," he shouted upon entering the house.

He quickly arrived at her side and kissed her softly on the cheek.

"Wow, ya look so gorgeous," he uttered upon glimpsing down at her royal blue, sleeveless dress.

"Thanks," she said with a small smile.

"Is that one of the dresses ya just bought?" he questioned.

"Yeah, I'm too big now for my old ones," she replied wistfully.

"Hey," he returned lifting her chin up slightly so he could look into her eyes. "You're the most beautiful woman I've ever laid eyes on. And I mean that. Not ta mention you look totally sexy in that dress," he said with a sensual smile as he glanced back down at the empire-waist, silk dress.

"Do you really mean that?" she returned a little skeptical.

Rather than answering her, he took a seat next to her and pulled her face gently towards his lips kissing her with all the deep desire and longing he felt within his heart. As his lips passionately and tenderly caressed her own, there was no doubt left in her mind that he meant what he had said.

"Does that answer your question?" he asked softly.

"Yes…" she replied with a sweet smile.

"I wish I could stay here with ya, but Daniel and Jennifer should be here in about five minutes. And I've still got ta change really quickly," he regretfully admitted.

"How about I follow you back to our room then?" she responded.

"That would be perfect," he said with a grin as he took off quickly towards their bedroom with Michaela trailing behind.

"So, how was your day?" he questioned as he pulled his t-shirt off tossing it to the floor.

"It was really great. You still haven't told me why you were late," she responded.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Just got distracted by your beauty," he said with a wink. "Traffic was terrible. There was some pretty bad wreck on the highway. And ya know all about how one wreck can destroyed the traffic flow," he explained.

"Oh, yeah," she answered with a knowing smile.

"Alright, now your turn. Why was your day so great?" he inquired clearly intrigued by her previous statement.

"Well I finished the mural," she answered energetically.

"You're kidding?" he replied in excitement as he zipped his pants and began running a leather belt through the loops.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure I did. I wanted to ask you what you thought before I said it was completely done…" she said with a shy smile.

"Oh, I can't wait ta see it! I'm goin' ta go look now," he said anxiously as he buckled his belt and headed down the hall.

"You have to finish getting ready," she chided as she followed him down the hallway.

"Sully, you said they were going to be here any minute," she said with a laugh as she arrived at his side.

He pushed the wooden door open gently and flipped on the light switch, quickly turning his eyes to the wall on his left. His mouth fully dropped to the floor upon seeing the painted canvas spanning the length of the wall. The underwater scene before his eyes was utterly captivating. The tropical fish, the dolphins, and even the underwater plant life looked so real but still so magical at the same time. And the mermaid in the very center was downright breathtaking.

"My God this is amazin'!" he whispered.

"Really?" she replied softly.

"Of course, really! Seriously, sometimes I truly can't believe how talented ya are. This is one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. It literally takes my breath away," he answered still captivated by the painting.

"So, you like it then?" she inquired.

"Like it? Michaela, I can't tell ya how lucky our little girl is ta have something so very special. Everyone who looks at this will see the love behind its creation. When ya told me you wanted ta paint a mural for her room I imagined it would be beautiful. Now that I see it in front of me, I know I truly had no idea the spectacularly gorgeous painting you would create. Even the shading is so realistic…" he returned in awe as he reached out to gently touch the painting.

Then, he slowly turned around to look at her, only to see tears in her eyes. He ran to her side, swiftly pulling her into his arms.

"What's wrong?" he questioned in concern as he wiped a tear from her cheek.

"Oh, nothing is wrong! I'm just so happy that you love it so very much," she answered in happiness.

"Oh, there's no question about that," he returned pulling her closer. "It's beautiful just like my wife, and just like my daughter will be…" he whispered softly into her ear.

As he stood holding her in his arms, both heard the doorbell chime.

"Oh, shoot, I forgot they were on their way. I'll go answer the door," he returned pulling back from her.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" she said with a laugh.

"What?" he returned glancing back in her direction.

"You might need a shirt, and some shoes would probably be good as well," she said shaking her head slightly.

"Oh, yeah, I know," he replied sheepishly. "But I'm goin' ta go invite them in first."

"Alright," she said with a smile. "I'll be down in a few minutes."

"Great," he returned before heading quickly towards the staircase.

* * *

Lightening crashed through the sky, as the rain poured down heavily drenching them both as they ran up the sidewalk to the front porch. After waving goodbye to Daniel and Jennifer, they had both made a mad dash for the front door. He beat her to the porch, as he could run much faster than she could in her royal blue pumps. He swiftly unlocked the door, however he didn't open it. Instead, he stepped back and let the glass screen cover the wooden door once again. As soon as she stepped onto the porch she reached for handle to the glass door, but was unsuccessful as he pulled her hand away from the knob.

"Stop, what are you doing?" she cried as he gripped her firmly by the waist.

As they both stood on the porch in the pouring rain, neither could contain their laughter as she struggled to escape his grasp.

"Let me in!" she cried as she shoved him playfully aside and was finally able to successful grip the handle to the screen door.

He retaliated by gently grabbing her from behind and skillfully prying her fingers off the handle.

"No, Sully stop!" she said through a laugh as her hand came up to brush wet strands of hair from her eyes.

He simply laughed in response to her pleas, and as her free hand shot forward again to grab the door handle, he spun her around in his arms. Then, he looked down into her sparkling eyes as their lips inched closer and closer together before finally connecting. She could feel the rain dripping down her face as his lips caressed hers, his hand gently cupping her face. She swiftly wrapped one arm around his neck, as his tongue plunged deeply into her mouth. With his hand on her lower back, he pulled her in even closer his hand moving up to dance through the tangled, wet strands of her hair. As their passion filled embrace soared out of control, they both heard the thunder crash around them. He regretfully pulled back as lightening flashed in the sky once again.

"Still wanna go inside?" he asked with a sly smile.

"Yes…" she returned in an unconvincing tone.

"Alright, then," he answered as he pulled the door forward holding it open for her.

She looked at him questioningly before stepping inside the doorway.

"Now thanks to you I'm totally soaked," she said in mock anger.

"You were soaked before," he said with a laugh.

"No, I wasn't," she replied shaking her head.

"Why don't ya go change, and I'll meet ya upstairs?" he returned.

"Okay…" she answered a little suspicious of his intentions, but nevertheless complying with his request.

After throwing on a pair of sweatpants and a hooded sweatshirt, she tied her hair back into a wet ponytail and climbed into bed.

"Brought you something," he said as he walked through the doorway carrying two coffee cups full of hot chocolate.

"Thanks," she said with a grin as he handed her the cup.

"Be right back," he explained as he set his cup on the nightstand and retreated from the room.

He soon returned with a silver bowl full of popcorn, and set it down next to her before walking across the room to retrieve a set of dry clothes.

"Although it's your fault I ended up that wet, I want you to know that I still think you are perfect," she said sweetly.

"You're just sayin' that 'cause I brought ya popcorn and hot chocolate," he returned with a laugh.

"No," she returned through a giggle. "That's not it at all."

"It's not, huh?" he responded as he pulled a t-shirt over his head.

"No, and besides there is still something missing."

"And what would that be?" he questioned as he approached the side of the bed.

"_You_," she said with a grin.

He quickly joined her in bed, pulling the blankets on top of his lap and grabbing the television remote from the nightstand.

"Wanna watch a movie?" he suggested with a smile.

"Okay, but not _Resident Evil: Afterlife _again," she said with a sigh.

"Why?" he whined in a joking tone.

"I can't watch that zombie movie one more time," she answered shaking her head softly.

"Okay, how about _Resident Evil: Extinction_, then?"

"That's the same thing," she returned shoving him playfully.

"No, it's not!" he cried through laughter.

"It's still a zombie movie. No zombies."

"Hmm how about _Conviction_?" he suggested as he flipped through the movies on the on-demand screen.

"What's it about?" she inquired.

"It says a single mother spends nearly two decades putting herself through law school in order to overturn her brother's unjust murder conviction," he recited.

"Yeah, sure we can watch that," she replied.

"You goin' ta share any of that with me?" he questioned as she continued to hold the bowl of popcorn in her lap.

"Maybe…" she teased as she playfully tossed a piece his way.

"One piece that's it?" he returned in mock outrage.

"Come here," she requested and as he leaned in she placed a piece in his mouth.

"I love you," he spoke softly placing a kiss on her forehead.

"I love you, too," she answered glancing up into his shining blue eyes.

He smiled back and pulled her in closely, and as the storm raged on outside their window they both lay comfortably in one another's arms.

As the credits rolled across the screen, he flipped the television back to regular programming. He smiled down at her as she lay curled up in his arms her right cheek lying on his chest. After finally settling on a station, he gently set the remote down and moved his left hand from her arm and began to soft play with the strands of her now dry auburn hair. He could hear her breathing become deeper, and he knew she was close to falling into a deep sleep. She felt so incredibly safe in his arms, as his warm embrace surrounded her. And she soon began to drift off to the steady beating of his heart.

As his eyelids became heavy, he could feel his body drifting to sleep. Then, he was suddenly pulled from it by a soft sigh coming from her lips. His eyes immediately fluttered open as she began to stir in his arms.

"What's wrong? You alright?" he questioned as she stared at him with an odd expression on her face.

"Yeah…" she replied in a somewhat unconvincing tone as her hands came down to rest across her abdomen.

"I can feel her…" she whispered softly.

"Really?" he answered in amazement. "What does it feel like?"

"I don't know… It's kind of hard to explain… It's sort of like a fluttering feeling," she said with a wide smile.

He gently reached over and placed his hand on top of hers. Although she had told him he wouldn't be able to feel the baby kick for another several weeks, it was incredible to see the look on her face as she shared something so very special with her daughter.

"I can't wait until you can feel her too," she returned her eyes still lit up with excitement.

"Neither can I," he returned as she lay back down in his arms.

He couldn't wipe the smile from his face as he watched her drift off to sleep once again with her arms wrapped gently around her stomach. He knew she had been waiting for weeks to feel their daughter inside of her. Their doctor had explained that it often took first time mothers longer to feel it, and he could almost feel her heart soar when she told him. With his beautiful wife and his little unborn daughter in his arms, he truly thought life could become no better.


	7. Chapter 7

**Ch.7 **

_Author's Note: I encourage you to open the following you tube link in another window during the section I have indicated._

_(The editing tool wouldn't allow me to paste the link directly, so simply type in you tube into your browser with the following text after .com/watch?v=hGRhu_SK_eY_

_Disclaimer: Song lyrics are from Permanent December by Miley Cyrus. Song itself and lyrics are property of their respective owners._

**August 11****th****, 2017 **

He pulled open the wooden door excited to see his three girls. As he stepped into the front entryway and closed the door behind him, his ears were filled with the excited giggles of his daughters and the loud beat of a teenage pop song. He smiled to himself trying to imagine exactly what they were up to. He quietly crept towards the living room, which was not a difficult feat due to the volume of the music.

As he approached the doorway of the living room, he soon saw his wife and two daughters singing into plastic microphones facing the stereo, backs towards him. He held back watching the scene it front of him. As Katie jumped up and down strumming a plastic guitar in pink plastic high heels, leather bomber jacket, and feather boa, Hannah sang into a microphone wearing leather gloves, sequined mini-skirt, and blue plastic heels. Michaela was in the middle plastic microphone in hand, wearing blue and pink clip- in hair extensions and pink plastic sunglasses, carrying the other two through the melody of the song.

Though they had the music blaring from the stereo, he could still make out her beautiful voice above all else. He continued to watch from a distance charmed by her sweet-sounding voice and the sparkling faces of his daughters.

**Open the video and start it at 1:16. ; ) **

"…_.'Cause I don't let 'em through_

'_Cause I'm saying all my lovin' for someone and it's you… " _

Michaela sang out as Hannah repeated her, both pointing to the other on the word 'you'. She then turned to Katie extending her free hand forward. Katie accepted it, and she twirled her around in a circle with Hannah looking on with a smile. All three girls continued to sing, as he remained hidden in the shadows of the hallway.

"'_Cause baby now I realize that I was wrong_

_When I said I didn't need you, so_

_Miss you bad, so now I'm comin' home_

_So you better leave the light on_

_Wait for me and just leave the light on…"_

He watched as she broke out dance moves truly becoming an animated pop star. As she circled her hips back and forth one hand tightly gripping the microphone the other extended up in the air, Hannah followed mirroring her mother's movements.

"_It's been like a permanent December_

_So much colder than I can remember_

_When I get you back_

_This time I swear that I won't…"_

She shut her eyes tight clearly playing her role as rock star incredibly well, and he could no longer contain his laughter. Katie soon glanced in his direction, and he motioned for her to stay silent. Upon hearing Katie's giggles, Hannah turned her gaze to Sully as well. He signaled for her to remain quiet, as he crept up behind an unsuspecting Michaela.

"_Won't ever let you go_

_Won't let you go, no_

_Won't let you go, go, go, go_

_Won't let you go, no…"_

"_Go, go, go, go no, no, no, no…" _she sang before opening her eyes to look at Hannah. She soon realized Hannah was having a hard time controlling a fit of giggles, and she quickly turned to see what her daughter was staring at. As she abruptly turned around, she saw him imitating her dance moves from seconds before using his fist as a microphone.

She turned bright red before grabbing the remote and switching the stereo off. He continued his version of her pop star dance moves until the room was filled with silence.

"How long have you been standing there?" she said letting a giggle escape her lips.

"Oh, just long enough ta hear that you're saving all of your love for Hannah, and that someone better leave the light on 'cause you're comin' home," he said with a playful grin.

"Oh, and _it's been like a permanent December,_" he finished singing out the last line in a pitch similar to the one she had used only moments before.

"I don't sound like that!" she cried as she slapped him playfully on the shoulder.

The girls erupted in laughter as he glared back at her playfully.

"Oh, I think ya do," he taunted. "What do you girls think? Did I sound like Mommy?" he said with a laugh.

"No, Mommy can sing much better than you can," Hannah said with a smile.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. But I didn't know your Mommy was such a rock star. Maybe we should take her somewhere tonight where she can perform this amazing routine for other people to watch," he responded with an ornery look.

"Yeah!" both Hannah and Katie cried in excitement.

Michaela glared at him in return before responding, "No, my rock star moves are just for you girls and no one else. But I think we should get your Daddy back for spying on us."

"I think you're right," Hannah replied with a smile. "You always tell us not to spy on you guys."

"That's right," Michaela answered with a mischievous smile.

"Hey, I wasn't spyin'. I was just watchin'," he returned.

"I think…" she began as she inched closer towards Sully. "…We should tackle him!" she cried before pushing him backward onto the couch and climbing on top of him.

Both of the girls quickly followed screaming in delight as he tried to fight them off.

"Hey, this ain't fair, it's three against one!" he cried.

While Michaela and Katie kept him pinned to the couch, Hannah ran to his side and stole the baseball cap from his head.

"Hannah, come on at least leave my hat alone!" he said as she placed the cap on her head and smiled down at him.

"I think we should tickle him to pieces now," Michaela said to Katie receiving a very eager nod in reply.

"No, don't!" he cried through a fit of laughter. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" he exclaimed while trying to fend off their on coming attack.

"Hang on girls," she said through laughter. "Did you hear that? He's begging for mercy here."

"Yes, I'm scared of you three. If ya spare me, I will take you guys ta dinner at that hamburger place you girls love so much," he said with a charming smile.

"Yay!" both girls cried in unison.

"Go wash all that makeup off and grab your shoes and we'll go now," he requested and both girls took off at lighting speed towards the bathroom.

"You goin' ta let me go?" he asked as Michaela continued to pin him down to the couch.

"I don't know," she said with a smirk.

"Well just ta let you know I found your rock star imitation incredibly sexy. And I love the pink and blue," he said as he ran his fingers through her hair.

"Sexy, huh?" she said with a smile completely aware of the game to which he was playing.

"You bet," he returned.

"What was sexy about it?"

"The way ya moved those amazing hips of yours," he explained as he moved his hands gently up onto her hips. "And the way you make my little girls admire ya so much."

She smiled in returned charmed by his words and his sensual touch. Then, she gently rose to her feet allowing him the chance to sit upright on the couch. She quickly joined him sitting closely beside him as he slipped his arm around her.

"Where did ya get that CD anyway? Isn't it like years and years old?" he questioned.

"Hmm it's like seven I think. I bought it and the rock star dress up stuff at a garage sale Charlotte and I stopped off at on our lunch break," she explained.

"Miley Cyrus, really?" he teased.

"I couldn't help it. I knew the girls would love it."

"No, I'm not talking about the girls liking it. I'm talking about you knowin'_ all_ the words," he said with a grin.

Her cheeks turned a familiar shade of red upon hearing his words, and his smile grew even bigger in response.

"I don't have a legitimate excuse for that one," she returned after unsuccessfully racking her brain for one.

"Not one that I will buy anyway is more like it," he returned. "Sometimes you're too cute for your own good," he said utterly charmed by her.

"And sometimes you're too ornery for your own good," she said as she leaned in to kiss him deeply.

He felt his heart soar as her soft lips embraced his own. His ears were soon filled with the sound of flip-flops scampering through the hallway.

"Let's go!" he heard them cry as she pulled back from his lips softly. She winked at him before grabbing her purse from the counter and pulling the colored clip-in hairpieces from her long locks. After tossing the pink sunglasses on the counter, she joined the girls in the doorway. He soon stood from the couch and led the way towards the garage.

* * *

**August 16****th****, 2017**

She stared at the inky black numbers on the dashboard, as she tried to blink back cloudy tears. She could feel them threatening to spill over at any moment and taking in a shaky breath, she tried desperately to keep them at bay. The task soon proved impossible, and the tears she had held in the bottom of her lids spilled down her cheeks. As the burning tears over took her eyes, dark black mascara ran down her cheeks. She swiped her hands across her cheeks furiously, as the liquid sadness continued to pour from her eyelids. She could feel the chocking sob deep in her throat, and she tried desperately to gain some composure. After sucking in air deeply, she stepped out of the car and made her way across the parking lot.

"Sully," Daniel whispered his name, and he quickly looked up from the blueprint on his desk. There she was standing a few feet in front of him. Her face was paler than he had ever seen it, and her eyes were glazed over with a blank stare. With tears of sorrow spilling from her eyes, she wrapped one hand tightly around her body the other reaching up to loosely clutch her bottom lip.

His heart literally dropped to the bottom of his stomach. He knew something was terribly wrong… He had felt that way for the last two hours. His heart had ached in an unexplainable way, and now he knew why. She was in pain, and by the looks of it dire pain at that. He stood completely speechless for a few moments as she glanced down at the floor then back to his eyes. He watched as she brought her hand slightly up and swept it across her face brushing tears from her cheeks. His brain suddenly jolted him out shock, and he ran to her side pulling her into his arms.

"Michaela, what's wrong? What happened?" he cried the anxiety and urgency in his tone evident.

When she still stared towards the spot he had been standing moments before, his panic only increased.

"Michaela, are the girls all right? Did something happen ta them?" he cried in fear.

She shook her head 'no' very slightly, but she still seemed a thousand miles away.

"No? They're okay? Michaela, I need an answer. Are they okay?" he questioned.

She nodded her head 'yes' a little more powerfully than before. His heartbeat slowed slightly, as some of his panic dissipated knowing Michaela and the girls were all right.

"Oh, God did something happen ta Becca or Edmund?" he asked.

She shook her head 'no' again, but still remained completely distant and aloof.

"Michaela, you've gotta talk to me here. What the heck is goin' on? I can't keep guessin' like this. You have ta tell me what's happened," he pleaded frantically as he clutched her tighter in his arms.

Then, it hit him like a knife to the heart. _No, it can't be…_ His brain struggled to comprehend what he had just realized as the two sat in silence.

"Something happened to the baby, didn't it?" he cried taking in a gasping breath.

She broke into choking sobs as her knees gave out from under her, and she felt to the floor. He immediately bent down beside her, pulling her to her feet and leading her outside. Once outside he sat down on a concrete bench and pulled her deeply into his arms. Wrapping one arm around her while the other cradled her head, he gently asked, "Honey what happened?"

"Or do ya not even know?" he questioned desperately needing answers.

She swallowed hard and sat up slightly, looking into his eyes.

"Is our baby still alive?" he prompted pretty sure he knew the answer already, but knowing she needed a push.

"Yes…" she whispered.

"Oh, thank God!" he cried releasing the breath he hadn't even realized he'd been holding.

"Then, sweetheart what's wrong? I know you're panicked here, but I can't help ya if you don't talk ta me," he said softly.

"I received a phone call this morning… about the MSAFP test results," she began.

"The what?" he asked in confusion.

"It's a standard blood test used in screening for the possibility of several severe birth defects in a developing fetus," she explained completely detached.

When she spoke in clinical terms, she could remove herself from the situation. It was so much easier to tell him as a physician than as his wife.

"Okay what did they find?" he asked already aware it was nothing good.

"They found abnormally high levels of alpha-fetoprotein. High levels indicate that the fetus has a neural tube defect," she recited almost as if she was reading it from a textbook.

He looked at her intensely, searching her face for answers. He hated when she answered him in such a clinical and detached tone, but if this was the only way she could muster the strength to share this terrible news then he would deal with it one way or another.

"It means there is a rather high chance that our baby has a neural tube defect such as spina bifida or anencephaly."

He stared at her in shock as the words fell from her lips. She stared off into the distance with such a far away look in her eyes. He knew he had lost Michaela long ago. He was merely sitting with Dr. Quinn at the moment, but he would deal with that after he had the answers he knew Michaela couldn't provide.

"Anenceph- what?" he responded.

"It's a condition characterized by an underdeveloped brain and an incomplete skull. It's a severe and usually fatal brain abnormality," she explained her voice still devoid of emotion.

"_Severe and usually fatal brain abnormality…"_ Her words echoed through his head as his heart literally fell to the floor. He now understood and felt ever ounce of pain she walked into his office with. His heart ached, as he knew there was still more she had to tell him.

"And what's spina bifida?" he managed to utter knowing the answer would probably pierce the already open wound.

"It's a spinal column defect that occurs when the spinal cord doesn't close properly. It can cause a portion of the spinal cord and the surrounding structures to develop outside the body."

"So, our baby…It will be born with one or both of those defects?" he uttered in complete and total shock.

"No one is certain of that yet. Other factors such as miscalculation of fetal age can throw off the levels of AFP," she answered.

"So, what do we do now? How do we know for sure?" he questioned his heart racing at lightening speed.

"They have to do an amniocentesis," she replied.

"Another test?" he wondered in uncertainty.

"Yes…" she replied softly.

"When can they run it? Can we go into the hospital now?" he questioned as his panic grew.

"No, James has appointments all day. And Allison, who would be the specialist to perform the test anyway, is booked today as well," she explained as tears began to fall down her cheeks once again.

"Well, ya know them personally don't you? Call in a favor. I'm sure they would understand," he stated.

She shrugged her shoulders gently as the cascading tears became more uncontrollable by the second.

"Honey, can I call them? Ya know this is just going ta eat you up until we know something one way or another," he expressed gently.

"Even if they ran the test today, they wouldn't have the results for four to five days at the earliest. The test has to be sent to a laboratory for analysis," she explained through chocking sobs.

"Well, if ya have them run it today, then you will know one day sooner. Call them. I bet they would both work a little later ta help ya out."

"Truthfully, I don't even know if I want the results," she sobbed as he pulled her in close cradling her head against his chest.

"Yes, ya do. We have ta know what we are dealin' with here. It's too late for you ta simply ignore it. Now that we know this is a real possibility here, we have ta know for sure."

"It's more than a possibility, Sully. High levels of AFP strongly indicate a severe birth defect," she regretfully stated once again.

"You said that blood test isn't always accurate," he responded.

"No, it's not always accurate. But one of the major factors that produces a false positive is a miscalculation in fetal age. Sully, I'm one hundred percent sure we know the exact age of the baby," she replied.

"Yeah, but that can't be the only thing that could throw a test like that out of whack, or they wouldn't have this amnio-whatever test."

"What are we going to do if it's true?" she whispered as she placed her hand gently across her abdomen. "What if this baby isn't healthy?" she sobbed.

"Don't think like that. I know it's hard not to, but ya have ta stay positive right now. Even if this baby isn't healthy, at least it's still alive Michaela," he said softly.

Tears fell from her eyes at an even more violent pace upon hearing his words. Her heart ached at the realization in front of her. She was once again forced to face the road that may be ahead. And it looked to be a very dark and unhappy one at that.

"Shhh come on, it's okay," he whispered calmly.

"It's never going to be okay again._ Never_…" she cried in anguish.

"Shhh," he soothed as he held her close.

As he sat holding his distraught wife in his arms, he began to pray with all of his heart that their baby would be born healthy, and that God would give Michaela and him the strength to deal with the pain that may be headed their way.

* * *

He glanced over at her again, only to see the severe despair behind her normally sparkling eyes. He wanted to pull her into his arms and tell her that this was simply a bad dream, but he knew it wasn't. The truth of the matter being they still had no idea what they would soon be facing. He held on tightly to the small piece of hope that they still had left. This test could come back negative proving their worries unfounded. But there was also the possibility that this deep seeded fear would become reality. He honestly felt like he was living in a dream world. From the minute she had stepped into his office this morning, none of this had seemed real.

_Thank God they agreed to meet with us this_ _evening, _he thought to himself. He couldn't imagine the pain of waiting another day or even several days to simply run the test. As it was now they would still be faced with waiting several days for the results. He knew the days would pass slowly and agonizingly, but he also knew that they couldn't give up hope. If he had learned anything in life it was to never give up hope. He gave her hand a tight squeeze trying to reassure her if only slightly. He wanted more than anything to talk to her, but he knew she wanted to remain silent, lost within a world of haunting thoughts.

"Hey," the young brunette spoke softly upon entering the room, making direct eye contact with Michaela.

"Well, I know I don't have to explain this to you, but…" she said turning towards Sully. "I'm sure you might be interested to know what exactly this test entails."

He nodded in response, and she quickly continued.

"I'm Allison by the way, and you must be the famous Sully. It's so nice to finally meet you," she stated with a friendly smile.

He extended his hand forward stating, "Yeah, it's great ta meet you as well. Thank you so much for doing this for us. I really appreciate it. I understand your family must be at home waitin' for ya."

"Yes, they are, but in all honesty they would be more than understanding given the situation. I wouldn't want to wait any longer than absolutely necessary either," she said flashing a small smile in Michaela's direction.

Michaela quickly reciprocated the gesture before gazing off into the distance once again.

"Michaela?" she questioned becoming slightly concerned.

"She's been like this all afternoon. It's like she's completely removed herself from the planet," he explained sadly.

She sighed softly before saying, "I guess it's just her way of dealing with this news. I think the best thing you can do for her is just be around and offer support, which I can see you are doing already."

"I'm assuming she prepared for the test accordingly?" she questioned.

Sully knew why she had directed the question at him specifically rather than Michaela. She, too, realized Michaela wasn't really in an emotional state to answer any questions.

"What?" he returned. But before she had a chance to answer, his mind immediately flashed back to earlier in the afternoon. "Oh, ya mean did she drink a ton of water?"

"In a manner of speaking," she replied.

"Oh, then yeah as far as I know she's set there."

Michaela nodded upon hearing his words, though her eyes remained glazed over.

"All right, I'm going to give you a quick rundown of what this test involves. I know Michaela is fully aware of this information, but it may be beneficial for you to know as well," Allison explained.

He nodded in response urging her to continue.

"Well to begin with I'm going to use ultrasound to find a pocket of amniotic fluid that is a safe distance from both your baby and the placenta. Once I've pinpointed a safe spot, I'm going to insert a long hollow needle through her abdomen and uterus into the amniotic sac."

"Could you accidently stick the baby?" he questioned in concern.

"It's extremely unlikely. But in the event that it does occur, the baby will withdraw immediately just as you would if you were pricked. But to be entirely honest with you I have performed this procedure many many times, and I have never had that occur," she responded.

Once again he merely nodded in response content with this explanation.

"The needle will withdraw a small amount of fluid, less than an ounce. Her body will then naturally replace the fluid that has been taken. Do you have any other questions?" she asked.

"No," he said softly turning his gaze towards Michaela.

"Michaela," Allison began. "I need you to answer a few questions for me. I know you understand that I need your verbal confirmation in order to perform this test."

She nodded slightly in response and Allison continued.

"You understand that you may experience cramping, pinching, or pressure during the procedure?"

"Yes," she answered softly.

"And you are aware there is a small risk of miscarriage as a result of amniocentesis?"

"Yes."

"Miscarriage?" he jumped in clearly alarmed.

"Yes, there is a very slight risk. The loss rate from the procedure is as low as 1 out of every 350. I personally have never had a patient miscarry from the procedure. But I still have to make sure I've informed you of the small risk."

He nodded in agreement knowing he had no other choice. It was highly unsettling to him that there was even a slight risk, but he knew they had no other choice. They both desperately needed to know the truth.

"You can opt to have a local anesthetic, but as I am sure you are aware some say the pain from the anesthetic injection is worse than the amnio itself. The choice is ultimately yours."

They sat in silence for a few moments before he shattered it asking, "Michaela, do you want the anesthetic?"

Allison had left the question in an open-ended form, and he knew she needed a simple 'yes' or 'no' question.

"No," she answered firmly.

"Are you sure?" he reiterated as the thought of an enormous needle penetrating his abdomen gave him the chills.

"Yes," she confirmed again.

"Can I hold her hand?" he asked Allison gently.

"Of course," she replied with a smile.

"Michaela, I know you are aware of the odds of false positive MSAFP test results just as I am. But I have to tell you there is still hope here. We don't know anything for sure yet. There is still a good chance that you have a healthy baby girl or boy inside of you right this very minute," she expressed sincerely.

She smiled slightly in Allison's direction but still remained silent. He had never seen her emotionally shut down like this, and he had to admit it scared him. And this was merely her reaction to the _possibility_ of her child having a birth defect. He couldn't, nor did he want to try, to imagine her reaction if this horrible outcome was indeed reality.

As she lay down on the examination table and Allison began to use a transducer to find a pocket of amniotic fluid, he began to rub gentle circles with his thumb across her palm. She tried intensely to calm herself down, knowing that stressing herself out in this manner wasn't good for her child in the least. However, it was so difficult to concentrate on anything else but the outcome she was dreading with all of her heart. She felt deeply guilty even feeling this way, but deep down inside she wondered if this was somehow her punishment for wanting another child. She could have simply been happy with the two perfectly healthy little girls she already had. After all she knew what blessings from God they were, especially Katie, after the truly difficult time she had conceiving her. _But no you had to beg for another... _She tried to force her thoughts away from this dark hole, but it was so hard to prevent it from engulfing her completely. Forcing herself to focus on something, anything, else she turned her head slightly to the left her gaze resting on his bright blue eyes. At least she knew that no matter the outcome, she would always have him.

She was quickly brought out of her thoughts, as Allison repeated herself again. "Okay, I'm going to insert the needle now. Are you ready?" she questioned again.

She nodded softly as she braced herself hoping she wouldn't feel any dramatic pain. She knew some women claimed it felt slightly worse than getting blood drawn. However, others claimed it was quite painful.

As the needle pierced her skin, she calmed down somewhat as it simply felt like receiving a shot. But as soon as the needle pierced her uterus, she clenched her teeth tightly and gripped his hand harder as the pain seized her.

"Michaela, are you alright?" he asked worried by the look across her face and the increased strength of her grasp on his hand.

"Yeah," she answered through clenched teeth.

"What does it feel like?" he asked in curiosity not stopping to consider it may be too difficult for her to respond.

"Like a very strong painful cramp," she stammered.

"Alright," Allison said softly as she removed the needle. "Now I'm going to double check the baby's heartbeat, and you two will be set to go."

* * *

"Well, your baby's heartbeat is normal," she replied with a smile. "Before I let you go, I want to let you know you may experience dizziness, nausea, a rapid heartbeat, or cramping, all of which is normal. However, if you experience abdominal pain, fever, spotting, or leaking amniotic fluid let us know immediately. You can call myself or James, even at home Michaela. I hope you know you are so much more than just a patient to us," she spoke gently placing her hand over Michaela's.

"I know," she returned softly.

"And I know how painful this has been for the two of you. This is never a test I enjoy performing. Though after viewing the ultrasound, I can tell you the sex of the baby if you wish."

He looked towards Michaela for confirmation, knowing he definitely wanted to know the answer.

"Do you want ta know?" he said softly.

She smiled genuinely for the first time since early that morning.

"Yes," she replied simply.

"Yeah, we wanna know," he spoke softly to Allison.

"It's a boy," she said with a smile.

"You sure?" he questioned excitedly.

"Yes, I'm fairly sure. But the results from the amniocentesis will confirm it without a doubt."

"Wow, we're having a boy," he whispered as he looked over to see the silent tears running softly down her cheeks.

He pulled her in closely against his chest as the excitement of this news pulsed through his body. Although he was thrilled beyond belief to hear that he had a son, he still couldn't shake the feeling deep inside that wondered whether or not he would be healthy. The same thoughts swirled through Michaela's head as she wondered whether or not her life really was simply too good to be true.


	8. Chapter 8

**Ch.8**

**August 21****st****, 2017**

As they sat together in eerie silence, he wished more than anything that he knew what to say. Ever since they had received a phone call from James an hour ago asking them to meet him at the hospital, he had felt the dreaded all-consuming fear eating away at him. He thought it rather strange that James had requested meeting them at the hospital as opposed to his office. Michaela likewise found this to be very strange. The only explanation she offered was that his office may be closed for the day in order for him to make rounds at the hospital. She explained that he more than likely had received the results of the amniocentesis and wanted to share them as soon as possible. She had also speculated that it could only be poor news, explaining that James would have delivered positive news over the phone. He had disagreed, stating that it may have nothing to do with the test results and may be another issue entirely. However, she had refused to believe that was even a possibility and had remained strangely detached from the moment she hung up the phone.

As much as he dreaded hearing the results knowing there was a change they would be positive, he knew he could not endure many more days of the agony of uncertainty. Both had tried to keep themselves together and composed for the girls, but it had been an extremely difficult task. They hadn't discussed it; rather they had opted to simply try to ignore it. However, he had almost reached a breaking point in which denial of the problem was no longer an option for him. Even if the results turned out to be positive at least the anxiety of waiting would be over.

He glanced over at her again, immediately noticing that her gaze still remained fixed on the wall directly in front of her. He then turned his eyes towards the door as James walked in with an unreadable expression on his face. As the lump in his throat grew so large he couldn't swallow, he could feel the intense nerves risings from his very core. James sat down quietly without so much as a word, and Sully had a sinking suspicion that this was a terrible sign. He could feel the nervous butterflies fluttering in his stomach as he tried to stop his hands from shaking.

"Michaela… Sully… As I'm sure you have realized we received the results from the amniocentesis this morning. Thankfully, your son does not have anencephaly," James explained calmly.

Both Michaela and Sully let a deep breath escape their lips as some of their fear dissipated. Then, both fixed their eyes on James as they waited for him to continue, fully aware that his next sentence could offer a crushing blow that would forever destroy their dreams for the future.

"I wish there was an easy way for me to say this, but there simply isn't. Your test results confirmed elevated of alpha-fetoprotein. It also confirmed high levels of acetylcholine esterase or ACH, an enzyme that is found in fetuses that have neural tube defects. I regret to inform you that your son has been diagnosed with spina bifida," he finished sadly.

_No, God… No, this can't be happening…_ He felt James's words penetrate him deeply as a sharp chill ran down his spine. He really thought they would say it wasn't true. She had insisted since they received the call an hour earlier that it could only be bad news, but he hadn't believed a word of it. He had told her there was no way it could be true. Up until a mere moment ago, he had still believed it wouldn't be true. With his mind spinning a mile a minute, he buried his head in his hands as the anxiety washed over him. Then, in a lightening fast second he realized he hadn't even considered her reaction. He knew how she had reacted to the mere _possibility_. She had been a complete and total wreck. Now that they knew for sure, how would she react?

He glanced over at her expression, and the look in her eyes sent his heart crashing even further to the floor. He had never seen such sheer panic. Never. Her face was so pale it was frightening. He immediately feared for her safety as he heard her breathing increase drastically. As the word 'no' slipped from her mouth in a terror-stricken tone, he turned towards her fully, unsure what to say or do to comfort her. She reached out to him slightly and he quickly gripped her hand, but it was too late. "Michaela!" he called out as he watched her loose consciousness right before his eyes.

* * *

He bit down on his nail firmly as he paced back and forth. James had asked him to wait outside, but all he could think about was how he should be with her right now. This had upset her enough to cause her to faint, and that wasn't good for her or the baby. He wanted to hold her and tell her it would all be all right. He wanted to rock her in his arms and feel her steady breathing against his chest. He felt the anger spread through his veins as he quickly realized he couldn't just stand there much longer. Why couldn't he stay in there with her anyway? Just as he had decided to ignore James and return to her side, James stepped out of the room and appeared directly in front of him.

"Is she goin' ta be alright?" he questioned in a panic.

"Calm down, she's fine," he said softly. "Receiving news like that was simply too overwhelming. But we've checked her blood pressure, and it's nothing to worry about."

"Why did ya ask me to step outside?"

"I wanted to talk with you one on one further about the condition of your child. I know that Michaela is fully aware of all the information regarding your son's condition. I feel that discussing this information in front of her will only add to her level of stress. This seems to be something she's not comfortable discussing at the moment, and I think that's something we should all respect for her safety and for the safety of your child. However, I feel that you may benefit from hearing additional information," he explained, and Sully softly nodded in return.

"Very well then. Right this way, and we'll step into the room at the end of the hall," he stated gesturing forward.

"I can't just leave her," he uttered in concern.

"Don't worry, she's fine Sully. Charlotte and several of the nurses are with her right now. I think the most important issue at hand is for you to understand your son's condition the way your wife does. I believe that was more the cause of her panic then the news itself," he returned.

"Are you sayin' that this condition is so terrible that she fainted from finding out our child was afflicted with it?" he questioned in shock.

"No, not at all. What I'm saying is that Michaela is very aware of how this will affect your son and some of the typical treatments. That may have been some of the cause for her distress, rather than it emanating solely from hearing that he would not be born healthy," James replied gently.

He simply nodded and followed James down the hall, knowing that he needed to understand exactly what these test results meant. Michaela obviously already knew, but now he too needed to truly understand his son's fate.

"Well, spina bifida occurs in three different forms," James began. The first being what is called spina bifida occulta. It's the mildest form of spina bifida, and most children with this type of defect have no outward signs or symptoms. The spinal cord doesn't protrude through the skin; rather the affected individual has a small defect or gap in one or more of the vertebrae of the spine. Sometimes a dimple, birthmark, or dark spot is present over the affected area. The spinal cord and nerves are usually normal, and most affected individuals need no treatment."

"So, he could be born with this mild form, and he would be fine then?" he asked.

"Yes, that is a possibility. However, based on the high levels of alpha-fetoprotein found in her system this is not the likely occurrence. Though we can't rule it out, and it is still a possibility. But more than likely your child will be afflicted with another form of the defect," James answered.

"Okay, what are the other forms then?"

"The two other forms fall into a category known as spina bifida manifesta. One form is known as spina bifida meningocele, and it is the rarest form of the defect. Of individuals affected with spina bifida manifesta, this form occurs in only four percent. Essentially the membranes that cover and protect the spinal cord protrude from the spinal opening and form a fluid-filled sac visible on the individual's back. Babies born with meningocele usually have an operation after birth, in which the surgeon pushes the membranes back inside and closes the hole in the vertebrae. Upon successful completion of the surgery, most individuals will have no other health problems, though some experience complications such as partial paralysis.

"So, if he has this second form, he should be fine with surgery?"

"Yes, however as I said this form only occurs in four percent of individuals with spina bifida manifesta."

"And the other ninety-six percent?" he asked fearing the answer.

"They are afflicted with what is known as spina bifida myelomeningocele. It is the most severe form of the disease, in which the membranes and the spinal cord are exposed through an opening in the spine. Because of the abnormal development of and damage to the spinal cord, a child with this defect typically has some paralysis. The degree largely depends on where the opening occurs in the spine. The higher the opening is on the back the more severe the paralysis tends to be. Those with a gap high on the spinal column often need to use a wheelchair, while those with a gap lower may be able to use crutches, leg braces, or walkers.

Babies born with this condition may develop a variety of other health problems including urinary and bowel dysfunction, mental retardation, and impaired educational, social, and psychological development. In addition, this form requires immediate surgery. During the first operation, a surgeon will tuck the exposed nerves and spinal cord back into the spinal canal and close the opening to prevent infection and protect the spine. Often children need subsequent surgeries as well to manage problems that occur with their feet, hips, or spine," he explained before they both sat in silence for several minutes.

"So, basically if my son has this form he will need immediate surgery and be faced with severe health problems including paralysis?" he stated as his mind completely went numb trying to digest the devastating information it had just received.

"Yes," he confirmed softly.

"And you believe this is the form he has?" he questioned.

"I have no way of knowing that for sure. I'm merely speaking based on the statistics of occurrences, and the levels of alpha-fetoprotein in your wife's test results. Unfortunately, we simply have to wait until he's born to know for sure which form he is afflicted with."

"And Michaela… She knows all of this?" he asked in awe.

"Yes. She has been the surgeon on standby for many of my patients and has performed surgery on babies born with both spina bifida meningocele and myelomeningocele. She was also aware of the exact levels of alpha-fetoprotein in her MSAFP test results. I believe that she reached the same conclusion that I have, and that's what caused her extreme amount of concern when I shared the results of the amniocentesis."

"I just can't wrap my mind around this…" he stammered quietly as the bone-chilling terror seeped through his body.

"I know that this is extremely difficult. I still have additional information if you think you can process it," James stated gently.

He nodded softly knowing that it was far better to be faced with all the bad news at once rather than have it doled out slowly.

"More than 85% of children with spina bifida also have what's called hydrocephalus. A child born with hydrocephalus will have an enlarged head as a result of an accumulation of fluid and pressure inside the skull. While there is no known cure, surgical treatment can be used to manage the disorder. An operation is performed in which a shunt is placed in the brain. The shunt helps relieve pressure on the brain by draining and diverting extra fluid."

"How will we know if he has that too? Is that something else we won't know until he's born?" he jumped in unable to wait for James to finish.

"Hydrocephalus can usually be diagnosed on a routine ultrasound. The ventricles within the head will measure larger than normal. We will continue to monitor the circumference of his head as it may become enlarged as the pregnancy progresses. From what we have seen at this time, we have no reason to believe that he has this condition. However, I just wanted you to be aware that we will be watching closely for signs to develop," he answered.

"Okay," he returned as he took in another steadying breath.

"Lastly, you should know that most children with myelomeningocele and a small number with meningocele or occulta have what's called a tethered spinal cord. This means the spinal cord is held in place by surrounding tissue, and is not able to slide up and down with movement. Surgery is usually recommended to release the spinal cord from the tissue. However, after surgery the child should return to his or her usual level of functioning," he finished looking towards Sully immediately aware of how truly overwhelmed he was by all of this information.

He tried to wrap his mind around what he had just been told, but it was so difficult to process. _My unborn son has a serious disease… one in which he will require extensive surgery… one that could affect every aspect of his life._ He now truly understood every ounce of fear, panic, desperation, and sheer terror Michaela felt as she heard the results from James. She understood all of this information…She knew what this diagnosis truly meant before he even began to have a clue. As all of his hopes of having a healthy child slipped away in front of him, all he could think about was how it would feel to be Michaela. _What would it be like to carry your son inside of you, knowing that he wasn't healthy and safe?… Knowing it was only a matter of time until he entered a life full of surgeries and pain?…_ The thoughts were utterly devastating, and he knew he needed to be with her… hold her… let her know that they would find some way to make it through this.

"I honestly can't even imagine what you're feeling. I know things seem very bleak right now, and that is why I feel the need to tell you things could have been much much worse. I don't know what Michaela told you about anencephaly…" he trailed off looking to Sully for answers.

"She just said it was a severe and usually fatal brain defect," he said recalling her words from days ago.

"Yes, well there is no cure or treatment for it, and the prognosis is extremely poor. A baby born with anencephaly is usually blind, deaf, and unconscious. Due to the lack of brain development approximately 75 percent of infants are stillborn, and the remaining 25 percent die within a few hours or days of delivery," he stated with sadness.

"Oh my God," he uttered in an almost inaudible whisper.

"I can see she didn't really elaborate on this with you, which was probably best. Anyway I merely shared this with you to shed light on the fact that these results could have been much worse. Although it is devastating to hear that your child will not be born healthy, it is a whole other feeling entirely to know he will inevitably die soon after birth."

"Yeah," he muttered softly, his mind reeling from the information he had just received.

_She had known about this for days… She had known since that first dreaded phone call that their child could have this condition… That he could die soon after birth._ His mind was literally spinning as he tried to imagine the pain and anxiety she must have felt for the last five days. He had thought his anxiety and fear was awful. He couldn't even imagine what it had been like for her. He wished she had shared everything with him, but he knew why she hadn't. She didn't want him to worry or suffer anymore than he had to. It crushed him to know that she had been battling with this possibility for days now, alone.

"I've had one of the nurses gather up several packets of information for you. They reiterate what I've just said and go into more detail on treatment options, which we can discuss further down the road once we know what form of the disease your son has. Sully, know that you can call myself, or anyone at this hospital for that matter, if you have any questions. I'm sure Michaela will be an extremely helpful resource, but if she isn't in the emotional state to answer, or it's simply too difficult to ask, know that we are here to help," he responded with compassion.

"Thanks," he managed to utter before standing and making his way back down the hallway.

As he approached her room, all he could think about was how unreal this situation really felt. It was as if he was in a dream, and a very bad one at that. But unlike a dream, he wasn't going to wake up from this nightmare.

* * *

He turned the key forward and removed it, leaving the car filled with a deafening silence.

"Michaela, we need ta talk about this," he began gently.

She had refused to discuss it with him at the hospital and had remained silent the entire way home.

"Ya can't keep quiet forever. And I would think you would wanna talk without the girls around," he tried attempting to get some response from her.

"There's nothing to talk about," she answered her gaze fixed on the front windshield.

"What do ya mean there's nothin' ta talk about? I know something like this had ta have affected you deeply. The only way we are goin' ta be able to face this is together."

She remained silent and motionless, and he was frustrated to the breaking point. He knew that everyone processed terrible news differently. However, he couldn't stand this ice-queen approach to the situation. He just wanted her to talk. It didn't matter what she said, but the silence was cutting him like the steal blade of a knife.

"Ya have ta talk to me. Michaela, I mean it. I understand you're in shock here, but ya can't shut me out. What's goin' through your head right now? It doesn't matter what it is, but ya need ta tell me. Please," he pleaded.

She still remained silent her eyes glazed over. "Michaela, have ya even heard a word I've said?" he sighed in frustration slamming his fist on the steering wheel.

"I can't stand this distance you're creating between yourself and the world around you. I honestly can't take it any longer. Please just talk ta me. I need ta hear your voice. I need ta know you're still with me," he stated begging her to speak.

She shook her head slightly, as if trying to pull herself out of a daze. Then, she turned to look at him. She placed her hand gently on top of his and smiled slightly.

"There's nothing to talk about. There's nothing to say. Nothing at all. The girls are waiting for us, and Rebecca has been over here long enough. I'm sure she's anxious to get Addison home," she said quietly. And with that she abruptly unbuckled her seatbelt and stepped out of the car, shutting the door behind her.

As she opened the door to the house and stepped inside, he still remained motionless. _Was she really going to pretend this didn't happen? Pretend that they didn't just receive this terrible news?_ He knew some people went through a stage of denial when dealing with grief, but this was such an extreme form of denial he didn't even know how to accept it. The truth of the matter was he really needed to talk to her. Thoughts were swirling around in his head like crazy. Thoughts he knew only she would understand. But he was obviously going to have to hold off on discussing this with her, as she clearly seemed unable or unwilling to process this.

As he closed the car door behind him, he saw Rebecca approaching at a rapid pace with a distraught look across her face.

"Sully, what did they say?" she questioned in deep concern.

"Didn't she tell ya?" he questioned already fairly sure he knew the answer.

"No. She said there was nothing to tell. Even when I pressed her for information, she still refused to discuss it with me. Is it truly that bad?" she spoke, her voice wavering in fear.

"Yeah, it's pretty bad," he returned trying to hold back tears.

"Oh, God," she whispered as her hand came up to rest across her mouth.

"He's got…" he stammered unable to say the words aloud.

He knew he had to force himself to speak the truth for Rebecca's sake, but it was so hard to say it out loud. Saying it out loud made it real. He couldn't deny it any longer once he heard the words aloud from his own lips.

"He's got…" he tried again and still failing to say the two words he needed to say.

As the hot tears poured down his face, he managed to whisper the two awful words, "spina bifida."

"Oh Sully, I'm so sorry," she whispered gently as she pulled him into a close embrace. "Why didn't Michaela tell me?" she questioned as tears flooded from her eyes as well.

"She's pretendin' like we didn't hear it. Like nothin' is wrong," he whispered.

"But why?" she returned clearly puzzled.

"I don't know why. Wish I did, then maybe I could help her. She fainted when they told her," he stammered.

"Oh, my God," she whispered.

"Then, she just wanted ta pretend as if we didn't hear it. I tried ta talk to her about it, but she wouldn't hear of it," he explained overcome with grief.

"Sully, I'm so so sorry," she repeated again.

"I know ya are. So am I," he said softly.

"I'm going to go talk to her. She needs to at least acknowledge what has been said even if she doesn't want to discuss it yet," she responded taking a step towards the door.

"I really wish you wouldn't. I know ya wanna be there for her just like I do. But I really want her ta open up to me. I know that may seem selfish, but she's my best friend Becca. When she was in a coma years ago, one of the worst parts of the entire situation was that I couldn't talk ta her about it. I couldn't ask her what to do, or tell her how I felt. I couldn't cry on her shoulder, or offer her my support in return. I had ta face everything without her. I really just want ta let her deal with this on her own terms. When she needs and wants ta talk about it, I hope she will come to me," he explained.

She nodded in return before saying, "I understand completely. When she's ready to talk, I will encourage her to go to you for support. However, I know you need support in the mean time. There is no telling how long our stubborn Michaela will refuse to believe or acknowledge the truth. Is there anything I can do to help you right now?"

"Well, I got a bunch of information from the hospital I wanna read through. The doctor said Michaela was already familiar with all of the information, but it would be great to have someone else to discuss it with. Especially someone that doesn't revert to doctor mode every time medical discussions come up," he said.

"Say no more. Did they give you more than one copy?" she wondered.

"Yeah, they gave me two copies of everything. I guess they are used ta givin' out one for the father and the other for the mother."

"Okay, I'll take home the second copy and Edmund and I will read over all of it," she returned with a small smile.

"Thank you so much. You two are just so amazin'," he expressed genuinely.

"I just want to help you in any way that I can. You and Michaela have been there for Edmund and me throughout the years. It's what we are here for," she returned giving his shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

He appreciated Rebecca's support immensely, but more than anything he wanted Michaela's support. He wanted to face this terrible nightmare with her by his side, but he knew he had to be patient and give her time. But he desperately hoped she would soon find it in her heart to open up to him, because he needed her. And he knew whether she wanted to admit it or not, she needed him just as much if not more.

* * *

Hannah looked over at him with a questioning look in her eyes. He knew she could tell that something was seriously wrong. Katie was still too young to pick up on such subtle undertones, but Hannah could very much sense that there was something she wasn't being told. Even he could visibly tell that their usually cheery dinner composed of constant conversation certainly wasn't present at the table tonight.

"Mommy, what's wrong?" Hannah questioned with concern.

"Nothing is wrong. Why do you ask?" she answered staring down at the untouched food on her plate.

"You just seem sad," she returned softly.

"No, I'm not sad sweetheart just tired," she explained.

He hated hearing her lie to Hannah like that, but he knew that even if she hadn't been playing like it wasn't true this still wouldn't have been the time to discuss it. Telling the girls was a whole other matter entirely. He couldn't even begin to fathom how in the world they would explain something like this. Even if they simply explained that their baby brother was sick, it would lead to questions that they couldn't answer such as how they knew he was sick, why he was sick, and if he would get better. As Sully was deep in thought, Hannah continued to grill Michaela.

"Mommy, are we still going shopping tomorrow?"

"Yes, sweetheart."

"Shopping?" he questioned in astonishment as Hannah's question jolted him back to the discussion at hand. He knew they still had to continue on with their lives for the girls, but he didn't think even with this fakey attitude of hers that she would be up for something like that so soon after receiving such devastating news.

"Yes, we have to get her school uniform," she explained calmly.

"Oh, alright. How long do ya think that will take?" he asked clearly worried about her.

"Why does that matter? Honestly, it will probably take a few hours," she returned coldly.

"Hours?" he repeated.

"Yes, hours. She needs jumpers, socks, shirts, pants, sweatshirts, skirts, shorts, a blazer, and headbands," she answered in a tone still devoid of emotion.

"Jeez! That's like an entire closet," he responded in surprise.

"Well, she's only allowed to wear to school what we buy her tomorrow. That's all she can wear the entire year. Do you want to wash one jumper every night? Or fight with your daughter about wearing the same dress she has worn for two weeks when all of her friends have several different uniform choices?" she snapped.

"Wow, I'm sorry I didn't realize it was that big of a deal. You went ta private school, I didn't," he responded softly.

"And what's that's suppose to mean?" she shot back in anger.

"Nothing!" he said putting his hands up in the air hoping to surrender in the verbal battle she was attempting to wage. "I just meant I didn't know she needed all of that. Like I said I'm sorry. You sure ya don't want me to take her?"

"No, I'm going to," she forcefully retorted.

"Okay, well I guess that means I will be hanging out with you tomorrow night then Katie."

"Yay!" she shouted as she smiled at her father, and he winked in return.

"Will you guys be home for dinner?" he wondered.

"I don't know," she returned coldly.

"Alright, then let's plan on doing dinner separately. If that's okay?" he asked gently.

"Fine by me," she returned in the same monotone voice.

"Okay, then," he finished, and the table soon became silent once again.

Hannah's gaze wandered back and forth between Sully and Michaela. She was simply in a state of shock. She had never seen her mother than cross with her father. Sully glanced in Hannah's direction and immediately recognized his daughter's expression of confusion. They always made a practice of carrying out their disagreements away from the children. Although he was less than thrilled with the cross attitude she had developed within the last ten minutes, at least anger was an emotion. It wasn't a pleasant one, but it was better than this robot exterior she seemed to be fronting.

As she rose to her feet and began carrying plates over to the sink, Hannah and Katie both asked him if they could be excused. He quickly shook his head 'yes', and they both departed towards Hannah's room. After watching them scamper down the hallway, he grabbed his plate and headed towards the sink.

After setting his plate down gently on the cabinet, he softly wrapped his arms around her waist. "Michaela, are ya sure you don't want ta talk about this? I'm willing to hear anything ya have to say. It's okay ta be angry. It's okay to feel whatever it is that you're feelin'. But I can't help you overcome this pain if you don't share it with me," he stated in a soft whisper.

"There is nothing to overcome, and there's nothing to discuss. I've already told you that. Do you want me to be angry with you?" she returned bitterly.

"No, I just want ta help you," he replied gently.

"Well, you can help me by leaving me alone," she retorted as she quickly maneuvered herself out of his grasp. "Can you finish these dishes?"

"Yeah, sure," he answered completely caught off guard by her somewhat violent reaction.

"I'm going to bed. Please send the girls in to tell me goodnight before you put them to bed," she requested before turning and walking down the hall in a quick stride.

He stood in the kitchen listening to the steady stream of water flowing from the facet as his brain tried to comprehend what had just happened. In the entire nine years he had known her, she had never been that angry with him, ever. Sure, they had disagreements, but she never let it shake their relationship to the core. He took several deep breaths asking God to give him the strength to deal with her reaction to this terrible turn of events. He knew he needed to remain calm and grounded. If he played into her trap, it would only escalate the anger she was feeling deep inside. He knew that he needed to simply continue to offer her love and support, but she wasn't making it easy. However, he had faith that her tough exterior would crumble. She would eventually break down, and he would be there as the steady force to pick her back up when she did.


	9. Chapter 9

**Ch.9 **

**August 24****th****, 2017**

Several days passed, and Michaela's attitude quickly changed from hidden anger to overly cheerful. It was a relief to be free of her tense comments laced with hostility, but at times he wasn't sure if this new attitude was any better. Anger was a frustrating emotion to be patient with, but it was a normal reaction to dealing with grief. Yes, her anger may have been misplaced, but when she was simply expressing feelings of hidden rage he had hope she would soon reveal the true reason behind her anger. However, once she put on a mask of an overly upbeat and sunny demeanor, he became even more concerned.

It almost seemed as if she had backtracked, and this new 'everything is perfect' Michaela honestly gave him the creeps. She had never been one for fakey or absurdly dramatic exuberance. He had tried to describe this new attitude she had developed and had only be able to come up with 'Stepford wife.' She had become unreasonably obsessed with household chores, and replied to any statement he made with one-word answers in a tone of voice he hardly recognized as her own.

This robotic version of the woman he loved was almost too disturbing for words. She only seemed to speak when spoken to directly, which was highly unsettling. The Michaela he knew and loved never stayed silent and had never been afraid of expressing her thoughts or opinions on anything to anyone. Thankfully, the girls hadn't said anything to him about it. He was sure they had noticed her excessively chipper mood, but they obviously preferred it to her cross and aggressive attitude from Monday night. He, however, was still unsure.

He stepped into the kitchen and remained silence, hoping she would greet him first. Much to his dismay she remained silent organizing the blue glasses in obsessively straight rows in the cabinet, making sure each side of the octagonal glass lined up evenly with the glass to the left and right.

"Can I talk to ya for a minute?" he spoke softly knowing he was going to have to initiate the conversation.

"Yeah, sure," she answered with a smile that looked anything but genuine.

He knew exactly how her true smile looked; in fact she had several different smiles. One for when she was excited, another for when she was overcome by laughter, a third one reserved for just genuine happiness, another when she was trying to hold back her laughter, one that was incredibly sensual and seductive reserved only for him, a shy and embarrassed one that he was often the cause of, and lastly one for times when she looked at their girls with complete and total affection. This one however wasn't a single one of those smiles he loved so much. This one plastered across her face was so fake it almost made him sick.

"I have ta work late tomorrow night," he explained.

"Okay," she answered not even glancing up to make eye contact.

"Are ya goin' ta be okay alone with the girls?" he asked hoping she would respond with more than one word this time.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" she answered in a chipper tone.

There it was. That robotic tone in which she only gave easy and agreeable answers.

"Just thought, you know, things might be stressin' ya out," he stated trying to pry a little deeper.

"Nope, nothing is stressing me out. I'm fine," she returned in a voice simply too sweet to be real.

"Ya sure you're okay?" he tried again.

"Of course."

"Well, I don't think I'll be home until around 11," he elaborated.

"Okay," she answered as she removed another glass from the dishwasher.

"Do ya think you'll be awake when I get home?" he wondered.

The last several nights she had made a practice of going to bed extremely early. It concerned him, but he had decided not to say anything deciding it might be a result of the pregnancy and nothing more. He desperately hoped it was that and not an attempt to avoid him. His heart ached the last four nights when he was forced to go to sleep without a word from her. He was used to falling asleep with her in his arms after a late night discussion about anything and everything. He knew it had only been a few days, but he missed her terribly. He missed the Michaela she had been before those awful test results. He wanted his best friend back.

"Hmm I don't know. I guess it's possible. Oh, and Addison is spending the night tomorrow," she returned.

"Are ya sure you can handle that?" he questioned in concern.

"Why do you keep asking me that?" she said with a small laugh. "What difference would one more little girl make?"

"Well, it's just added stress and noise," he returned gently.

"I'm pregnant, I'm not a breakable doll," she responded her voice again dripping with a sickening sweetness.

"I know it's just with everything that's happened this week…" he uttered secretly hoping this may illicit more of a reaction from her.

"It will be fine. Stop worrying," she answered softly.

"Ya sure you don't have anythin' you want ta talk about?" he tried once again.

"No, nothing."

"Do ya need help with the dishes?"

"Nope."

"Alright, I guess I'll just go sit down in the living room," he ventured unsure of what else to say.

"Okay."

"Are ya goin' ta join me when you're finished?" he asked. Normally she would have readily volunteered such information, but there was nothing normal about her any longer.

"I don't see why not," she responded before moving another glass over a sixteenth of an inch.

He merely shook his head gently and departed for the living room, hoping against all odds that she would snap out of this and soon.

* * *

**August 25****th****, 2017**

"Hannah!" the little girl screamed excitedly as she threw down her sleeping bag and ran into her cousin's waiting arms.

"Where's Katie?" she questioned as Hannah retrieved her sleeping bag from the floor.

"She's in my room waiting for us," Hannah replied with a smile.

"Addie, come grab your pillow and tell me goodbye," Rebecca requested.

"Bye Mommy. I love you," she said sweetly as she hugged her mother.

"Bye sweetheart. I love you, too. Promise me you will behave for your Aunt Michaela," she stated before kissing her daughter on the cheek.

"I promise," she responded before taking her pillow from her mother and following Hannah down the hall.

"Michaela, are you sure it's all right that she stays over tonight? I know we planned this weeks ago, but that was before…" she trailed off unsure of how much to say.

"Before what?" she responded.

Rebecca simply shook her head softly before saying, "You know exactly what I'm talking about."

"No, I'm afraid I don't," she answered in return with her pleasant demeanor still intact.

"Well, you will call me if it gets to be too much?"

"Addison is the sweetest, most well-behaved child I have ever met. This isn't the first time she's spent the night at my house, nor will it be the last. Stop worrying," she returned confidently.

"Are you sure you're okay?" she questioned as Michaela's false exterior wasn't fooling her in the least.

"Terrific," she returned.

"Is that a _pie _on your counter?" she replied in shock, as it definitely didn't appear to be store bought.

"Yes, I made it for the girls."

"_You_ made a pie?" she retorted unable to hid her surprise.

"Yes, and there's pizza in the oven."

"_You_ made a pie and a pizza by yourself?

"Yes."

"Didn't you go in to work today?" she wondered becoming more concerned about her sister by the second.

"Yes, but I left early," she explained.

"To come home and bake a pie?" she returned incredulous.

"Yes," she responded exuberantly.

"Michaela, where is Sully?"

"He's working late tonight," she admitted.

"When is he going to be home?" Rebecca questioned as she became more unsettled.

"I don't know. He said it would be late."

"Does he know you are cooking and baking?"

"No, why would that matter?" she countered.

"Honey, are you sure you don't want to talk?" she offered.

"About what?"

"Not this again," Rebecca replied in exasperation.

"What?" she retorted again.

"Do you want me to stay with you for a while?" she suggested trying to offer support.

"No, you and Edmund have dinner plans. Now go or you are going to be late," she said with a smile.

"I have some time. Edmund still has to drop off Tristan at his friend's house," she explained.

"Well I'm sure that won't take him long, and besides there's nothing to talk about," she returned cheerfully.

"Promise me you will call me if there are any problems at all," Rebecca requested.

"I promise. I'll see you sometime tomorrow morning," she answered before embracing her sister.

Rebecca then turned around and stepped out onto the front porch. As she made her way towards her car, she couldn't help but feel that she should have done something more. She knew Michaela wouldn't talk until she was ready, but she was loosing patience with this phony appearance her sister was fronting. She simply shook her head as she started her car, vowing to make another attempt at getting Michaela to talk tomorrow morning when she came to pick up Addison.

* * *

After cleaning the kitchen until it was spotless, Michaela made her way into the living room. As soon as she sat down on the couch and flipped on the television, she started to softly bounce her knee up and down as she bit down hard on her fingernail. The anxiety was the worst when she wasn't busy with a specific task. It consumed her until it ate away at her very soul. That had been the real reason behind the pie and the pizza. It had taken four tries for her to make that pie correctly. That had meant extra trips to the store to buy more ingredients, more dishes to clean, and more fruit to chop. It had given her something to do, something to keep her mind off of the thoughts that plagued her every waking moment. They were dark thoughts that tore at her deep inside until she could take it no longer.

Now here she was faced with confronting those terrifying thoughts and demons once again. Normally, she would just tell Sully she was going to bed. When she forced herself to sleep, she didn't have to feel anything. Ever since that fateful afternoon four days ago, sleep was her only sanctuary, her only escape from the truth and dark reality in front of her. Her son was ill… She could deny it to Sully and Rebecca all she wanted to, but she couldn't deny the truth to herself. He had spina bifida, and she could do absolutely nothing to change that fact. He was destined to live a life of misery, and she would merely be a bystander. Sure, she could support him in any and all ways possible, but there was only so much she could do. _He will never be like Hannah or Katie… Never…_ _Moments after he's born, he will have to endure intensive surgery…_

She took a deep breath attempting to calm herself down, but it was simply useless. She should have told Sully she needed him here. She shouldn't have let him leave her alone. Trying to put up a tough exterior had proven more difficult that she had initially thought it would. Until tonight she had thought that it was working for everyone involved. Now she knew that simply was not the case. She felt the tears falling down her cheeks once again, as her mind struggled to distract itself with something other than the haunting thoughts that plagued her every waking moment.

As she was lost in heartache, her body shaking with grief, she heard the terror-stricken cries coming from Hannah's room. Her heart dropped to the floor as the panic inside of her welled into an uncontrollable force. _Oh, God… the girls,_ she thought jumping up in alarm and racing towards the wooden door to Hannah's room. In the few split seconds it took to make it to Hannah's doorway, she immediately chided herself for not watching them closer. Whatever had happened was entirely her fault.

* * *

"Oh, God Michaela what happened?" Rebecca spoke in alarm upon locating her sister in the hospital waiting room.

"Michaela!" Rebecca cried, taking her by the shoulders and shaking her slightly.

She looked up slowly, finally removing her eyes from the brown-speckled tile. When she met Rebecca's anxious gaze, she felt the hot tears stream down her cheeks where they seem to permanently reside.

"You need to tell me what happened. Addison told me you told her to call. She said I needed to meet you at the hospital immediately, and that something had happened to Hannah. Honey, you have to answer me. What happened to Hannah?"

"Mommy!" Addison cried running to her mother's side and wrapping her arms around her tightly.

"Sweetie, can you please go back and sit with Katie right now? I need to talk to your Aunt Michaela about something very important. Can you please do that for me?" Rebecca requested calmly.

"Yeah, sure Mommy. Is Hannah going to be okay?" she wondered.

"Sweetheart, I don't know. That's what I'm trying to find out," Rebecca explained gently.

"Okay. Will you tell me as soon as you know?"

"Of course."

"Okay," she replied running over to Katie's side and taking a seat in a turquoise leather chair next to her cousin.

"Michaela, I'm only going to ask you this one more time before I completely loose all patience here. What happened to Hannah?" she pleaded.

"I wasn't watching them… I thought they were okay in her room… I didn't go back and check on them at all…" she stammered in a daze.

"Michaela, you need to pull yourself together here. What exactly happened to Hannah?" she questioned again for the fourth time.

"I don't really know… she… she broke her arm," she explained before the tears flowed even more fiercely down her pale features.

"She just broke her arm then?"

"Yes…" she returned through a choking sob.

"Where is Hannah now?"

"Getting… some x-rays done. They wouldn't… let me… go back with her," she managed to utter.

"Okay, you need to breath and pull yourself together here. This is not the end of the world. Children break bones all the time. In fact if you remember Addison broke her wrist when she was a year younger than Hannah. If all she has is a broken bone, then you can breath again," she explained softly.

Although Michaela heard every word her sister said, she still had a look of deep distress written across every inch of her face.

"This isn't about Hannah is it? This is about something much deeper…" she returned as the realization dawned on her.

Michaela simply averted her gaze from Rebecca's probing eyes, absolutely refusing to in any way acknowledge what her sister had just said.

"You need to try to pull yourself together here for Hannah. When she comes back from getting x-rays, she's going to be a very upset and confused little girl. I know this is sometimes a difficult concept for you and I to grasp, but most children want their mothers when they are in distress. I guess for you it would be your father. Anyway, she is going to want her mother by her side to hold her while she cries. She doesn't want you sobbing alongside of her. She needs you to play the hero, here. So, put on your supermom cape and pull it together. We will deal with the real reason for your anxiety once Hannah is all right," she stated forcefully.

She nodded as she wiped away her tears knowing that her sister was right. She needed to pull herself together for the time being, or she would never forgive herself. After all it was her fault they were even in the emergency room. Holding her crying daughter was the very least she could do.

"Michaela, did you call Sully?"

"Yes, I left him a message to met us at the hospital as soon as he could. Though, I told him not to worry there were no life threatening injuries."

As soon as the words left her lips, both she and Rebecca spotted him walking through the sliding glass doors. He immediately ran to her side and pulled her into his arms.

"Michaela what happened?" he asked in a slightly hysterical tone.

She looked towards Rebecca hoping she would divulge the information for her. Rebecca quickly read her sister's expression and gladly jumped in.

"Sully, Hannah broke her arm," she explained softly.

"Oh my God! How did that happen? When did that happen? Where is she now?" he stated as he tried to make sense of what he had just heard.

"Sully, calm down. I just told Michaela this about two minutes ago; children break bones all of the time. She's going to be fine."

He nodded in return knowing she was right.

"Where is she now?" he questioned in a slightly calmer tone.

"Having x-rays done," Michaela uttered as she attempted to compose herself.

"How did it happen?" he asked again in a soft tone as he stared at Michaela.

"Michaela?" he said in question, as she didn't respond.

"Why don't you two step outside for a few minutes? I'll stay here with Addison and Katie, and I'll let you know when the nurse comes out looking for you," Rebecca said as she could see the tension developing in front of her eyes.

Michaela nodded towards Rebecca, then followed Sully through the glass doors outside into the chilly, dark night.

"You want ta tell me what's going on here? You said ya would be fine watching them. I don't understand…." he started.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," she stammered unsure what to say.

"Honey, I don't need an apology. That's not what I'm after here. Can ya tell me why you're so hysterical? I know it's terrible when your child is hurt, but Becca is right kids break bones all the time. God knows I broke my fair share. In that message you left me it sounded like it was earth-shattering."

"I said it wasn't life threatening," she whispered as she wrapped her arms tightly around herself as the cold night air pierced her bare arms.

"I know, but your tone was so panicked it really scared me," he elaborated as he pulled her in close rubbing her arms gently.

"I'm sorry," she whispered again.

"Please stop with the 'I'm sorry' and tell me what really has you so upset," he asked as he continued to caresses her arms with his warm hands hoping to melt away some of her pain.

"I… I… I wasn't watching them Sully. It's my fault that she broke her arm. She's in pain now because of me," she admitted through tears.

"Michaela, how did she break her arm?"

"I don't really know… I wasn't watching them… I didn't check on them," she stammered.

"Ya have no idea what she did to break her arm?"

"Addie said they were jumping on Hannah's bed, and Hannah jumped too far backward and fell off the bed," she explained in anguish.

"So, they were in Hannah's room then?"

"Yes…"

"So an eight-year-old, a six-year-old, and a three-year old were playing inside your house, and ya didn't check on them every second?" he questioned with a small smile.

"I didn't check on them at all…" she confirmed with regret.

"Sweetheart, listen ta me. You can't see this right now because you're so upset here, but this was in no way your fault. We let the girls play alone in Hannah's room all the time. Why in the world would ya think you needed to constantly check on them? Ya had no reason ta feel that was necessary. It would have been a whole other matter entirely if they had been in the pool or on the swing set. But in Hannah's room, of course ya would think they were safe. I would have thought the same thing. And Hannah is old enough ta know that she shouldn't be jumpin' on her bed. She chose ta do it anyway, and now she has to live with the painful consequence. Even if you had gone back to her room every ten minutes, they simply would have waited for you ta leave the room and started jumpin' again," he said sincerely.

She nodded slightly tears falling down from her sad eyes once again.

"You wanna tell me want is really going on here? I think you're upset about another child entirely. Am I right?" he probed.

Before she had a chance to answer, Rebecca stepped outside stating, "Michaela, they need you back with Hannah now. They're getting ready to put a cast on her arm."

She glanced toward Sully before sliding gently from his arms and heading off towards the sliding glasses doors.

* * *

Through choking sobs of panic she managed to cry out, "Mommy, I can't!"

"I can't!" she cried again as she tried to place her thumb in her mouth.

The cast enclosing her left arm would only allow her to place the upper half of her finger into her mouth. She continued to cry hysterically as the one thing that always soothed her she couldn't have. Michaela cradled her close in her lap, as her daughter's tears of misery tore at her heart.

"Shhh sweetie, it's okay," she whispered attempting to calm down her very anxious child.

"No," she cried in sadness as she shook her head violently.

"Shhh," she repeated softly as she rubbed Hannah's upper arm gently.

She was working herself into such a frantic state it had Michaela in tears. She couldn't shake that voice in the back of her head that was screaming _this is your fault_._ She's miserable because of you Michaela_, it shouted with a ferocious intensity. She immediately snapped back to reality, as Hannah coughed violently as her tiny chest gasped for air.

"Hannah, honey you need to breathe. Take a deep breath sweetheart," she commanded.

She quickly complied imitating her mother's example.

"Try your other hand," she suggested softly knowing it wasn't a perfect solution, but hoping Hannah would see it as a feasible one for the time being.

She gently placed her right thumb in her mouth, before sliding it out and shaking her head in distress.

"Not the same, huh?" Michaela questioned as she wiped tears from the little girls cheeks.

"No," she cried in sadness squinting her eyes tight in an attempt to keep the tears at bay.

She looked down at her blue cast then placed the small part she could of her left thumb into her mouth.

"Oh, baby I'm so sorry," she whispered.

"I'm so sorry," she said sweetly as she guided Hannah's head down to rest on her chest.

Her heart felt as if it was being torn into a thousand pieces. Hearing her little girl's cries of agony truly was the worst pain she had ever felt. She rocked her back and forth softly as Hannah clutched her stuffed penguin tightly. She felt her relax somewhat in her arms, and she said a silent prayer of thanks that sucking on the upper half of her thumb seemed to be working at least for the time being.

"Hey, just got Katie ta sleep," he spoke softly as he entered the living room.

"How's she doing?" he questioned tentatively seeing tears streaming from both sets of eyes in front of him.

"She can't suck her thumb," she explained sadly.

"What?" he questioned before he realized what she was talking about.

"Oh, God," he said softly knowing Hannah had sucked her thumb since she was a baby.

It was a habit they had tried to break her of, but had given up feeling that it was simply too mean to force her to stop.

"I know," she responded quietly.

"Looks like she's got it in there now," he replied as he glanced down at his young daughter.

"Barely. Just the upper half that isn't in the cast," she explained.

"Sweetie, I'm so sorry," he replied lovingly as he stroked Hannah's arm gently.

She didn't respond only nodded softly.

"You goin' ta hold her like that all night?" he questioned.

He knew that Hannah needed Michaela desperately, but he also knew the emotional state of his wife. It wasn't good for her or the baby to sit up holding Hannah all night.

"Yes," she replied, the exhaustion she felt apparent in her voice. "She needs me, and I at least owe her this."

"Sweetheart, ya don't owe her anything," he whispered quietly in her ear. "We already discussed this."

She shrugged slightly knowing now was not the time to talk about this, especially with Hannah in her arms.

"Ya look exhausted," he replied in concern.

"Yeah," she sighed softly.

"Why don't ya let me hold her, and you can go lie down?"

"No," she answered shaking her head. "It's fine."

"Alright," he answered knowing she wasn't going to back down from this.

He flashed a small smile in Hannah's direction, as he gathered a few blankets from the corner of the room and returned to Michaela's side. After wrapping one around Michaela and Hannah, he took a seat next to his wife and wrapped his arm around her.

"If you're goin' to sleep with her in your lap, then put your head down on my chest," he explained pulling her in close.

She didn't resist, and within moments he glanced down to see her eyes closed as well as Hannah's. He smiled to himself glad that they at least seemed to be comfortable for the time being. Then, he too closed his eyes, drifting off to sleep with his wife and daughter in his arms.

* * *

**August 26****th****, 2017**

"Can we talk?" he asked softly as he joined her in the kitchen.

"I don't know," she replied as she spread peanut butter across the slice of bread in her hand.

"I really think we need to. Especially after last night…" he began remembering how their conversation had ended outside the hospital doors.

"Sully, I can't do this okay? I'm trying desperately to hold it together for Hannah and Katie. I just can't do this…" she explained as she dipped the knife in her hand into the jar of jelly.

"Do what?" he pressed knowing he was getting closer to breaking her down.

"Get into this discussion with you," she retorted as she cut the sandwich in front of her in half.

"I think you and I both know, especially after what happened last night, that we need to get into this discussion," he tried again.

"I've already apologized a thousand times, but if it will make you feel better I will say it again. I'm sorry, Sully. I'm sorry I didn't take care of our girls like I promised you I would," she uttered as she violently cut away at the crust on the sandwich.

"Why are ya apologizing again? I've already told ya this wasn't your fault. This isn't about Hannah's arm anyway, and you know it. This is about the question I asked ya last night before we were interrupted. This is about your son…" he stated gently knowing he could dance around it no longer.

She shook her head stammering, "I can't and I won't talk about this right now."

"Well, when then Michaela? It's been almost a week since we heard the news, and you have refused ta even acknowledge what was said. And whether you wanna admit it or not, it's tearin' you apart inside. I know it is. I saw that with my very eyes last night when ya let part of this wall you have built around yourself fall down. Now you've got it built back up again, and honestly I am out of ideas on how ta break it down," he confessed.

"I don't want you to break it down. Not now," she returned.

"Then, when?"

"I don't know," she whispered as she picked up the two plates in front of her and made her way out onto the deck.

He watched as she sat down next to the Katie, placing a plate in front of each girl. Even after helping them move their coloring books and markers to the fourth empty chair, she still remained seated at the glass patio table. He knew she wasn't planning on returning. He wondered if she was simply trying to escape his attempts to confront her, or whether she had really been planning to sit with them during lunch. He contemplated joining them, but he knew he was likely to explode if he did. And there was no doubt in his mind that he would regret that course of action. So, he remained seated in the kitchen watching from afar as she punctured the top of a juice box for Katie and poured some salad dressing for carrot sticks onto Hannah's plate. Though her attempts to dodge the inevitable conversation were extremely frustrating, at least she hadn't let this news affect her relationship with the girls. She was still the same wonderful mother she had been before the bomb was dropped, and for that he was extremely grateful.


	10. Chapter 10

**Ch.10 **

**August 26****th****, 2017 **

He took another quick look out the glass doors checking to see that she was still sitting on the deck. Even after the girls had finished lunch and gone back to coloring and painting, she still hadn't come back inside. There was now no doubt in his mind that she was hiding behind them. She knew he wouldn't confront her again in front of the girls. She probably planned to stay near them for the rest of the weekend, betting that he wouldn't suspect anything nor would he try to pry her away. However, she was very wrong on that account. He had already come up with a plan, and he quickly picked up his phone and dialed the one person who wanted to break through to Michaela as much as he did.

"Hey, Becca it's Sully. Do ya have a minute to talk?" he asked.

"Yeah, sure. What's going on?" she responded.

"I wanted ta talk about Michaela…" he began still keeping a close eye on her.

"Yeah?" she encouraged.

"Well, ya saw first hand last night how she's been actin'. And you and I both know that anxiety she was feelin' was about something much deeper than Hannah's broken arm," he explained.

"Yes," she returned sadly.

"I'm getting more and more concerned about her by the second here. And I think that I'm really close ta gettin' her ta open up to me. About a half hour ago she finally acknowledged that there was a problem, though she still refused to discuss it. I think I'm gettin' her wall ta crumble a little more every day, but I think she's refusin' ta let it fall because of the girls. She seems to be puttin' up this tough exterior for them. I know she won't talk ta me and break down completely the way she needs to with them around. And Hannah has been cryin' all day about how she ruined her sleepover with Addie last night…" he trailed off.

"Do you want me to come and get Hannah and Katie?" she asked sweetly, knowing what he was hinting around.

"I feel terrible askin' ya to do that. It seems like we are always askin' ya to watch them since you and Edmund moved out here," he answered with guilt.

"Sully, Edmund and I love you and Michaela. I want to do anything I can to help you. Your girls are no trouble at all; they never have been. Why don't I come over at about five and take them out to dinner and to a movie? Do you think that will give you enough time with her?" she questioned.

"Yeah, I do. Thank you so much Becca," he replied as he let a sigh of relief escape his lips.

"You don't have to thank me. I told you I would help you in any way I could. I'm just as concerned about her as you are. I only hope she will open up to you. Where is she now?"

"Sittin' outside with the girls. I think she's avoidin' me," he said sadly.

"Sully, hang in there. Things will get better, I promise you that. I've been praying for you both every chance I get," she said softly.

"Thanks that really means a lot ta me. I guess I will see you at five then?"

"Yes. Oh and Sully, don't tell Michaela I'm coming. I know her very well, and I have a feeling she will prepare herself to withstand your attempts at breaking her down if she knows they are coming her way," she explained.

"So, a surprise attack would be better?" he inquired.

"Absolutely."

"Alright, I won't say anythin' then. I won't tell the girls, either," he returned.

"Good thinking. I'll see you tonight, then."

"See ya tonight," he returned before hanging up the phone and glancing again towards his very distressed wife.

_Who exactly does she think she's fooling here? Doesn't she know I can read her like an open book?_ He could see the pain in her eyes, and he badly wished that she would finally open up to him tonight. Hopefully, he was on to something with the idea that she didn't want to loose control around the girls. Only time would tell…

* * *

She glanced up from the book in her lap to the ticking hands of the wall clock. The girls were watching a movie with Sully in the living room, and she knew they would be engaged in that for another hour. She hadn't been able to focus on the movie, though that was no shock to her. She hadn't been able to focus on much of anything lately. That, however, wasn't why she had retreated to her room. She couldn't stand the prying looks he was shooting her way. She had been trying to avoid him since their uncomfortable conversation in the kitchen hours earlier, as she truly didn't want to discuss it with him. She really wished he would simply stop asking, but she knew that he wouldn't. In all honesty she was surprised he wasn't back here this very second. It was possible that maybe he believed her when she said she was exhausted and was going to lie down, but somehow she didn't quite believe that. She was quickly jolted out of her thoughts as Hannah and Katie scampered into the room.

"Mommy, you're awake," Hannah stated with a smile.

"Yeah," she replied as she climbed out of bed and joined them on the floor, knowing it would be near impossible for Hannah to climb onto the bed with her broken arm.

"Bye Mommy," Katie said softly as she hugged Michaela tightly.

"Bye? Where are you going?" she asked clearly puzzled.

"With Aunt Rebecca," Katie answered.

Hannah could tell by the look on her mother's face that she was not aware of these plans at all. "Aunt Rebecca came to take us to get pizza and see a movie with Addie," she elaborated.

"Oh, okay," she returned still confused.

It wasn't like Rebecca to drop by unannounced or make plans without her consent. Unless she had simply just talked to Sully, but that was very unusual as well. She contemplated going out into the living room to confront Rebecca but decided against it. She honestly didn't have the energy anymore to fight things that simply didn't matter.

"Bye Mommy," Hannah said sweetly pulling Michaela out of her dazed thoughts.

"Bye sweetheart," she returned pulling Hannah in close.

"Bye Katie. Have fun," she said gently placing a kiss on her daughter's cheek.

"Bye Mama," Katie called out again as both girls anxiously skipped from the room and down the hall.

Once the girls had left, she crossed the room and opened the bottom drawer of the wooden dresser. After retrieving a leather-bound book, she took a seat on the floor and flipped open the cover. She looked down at the plastic sheets containing photos of memories she held very dear. Glancing down at pictures of Hannah as a small three-year-old and Katie as a baby brought the tears pouring from her eyes once again.

Every time she felt them streaming down her cheeks, she wondered how many more tears she had left inside. With each passing day the dull ache in her eyes grew, as the sadness inside forced tears from her eyes again and again. She placed her hand gently over her stomach, as the silent tears soon developed into full-blown sobs. She once again heard the voice in the back of her head reminding her that he wasn't like Hannah or Katie. And he never would be… She was supposed to keep him safe, protect him, and she had failed. The pain inside quickly welled into such a force she could feel its physical toll on her body. She shut her eyes tight, begging for the pain to dissipate.

After kissing Hannah and Katie goodbye and waving as Rebecca's van backed down the driveway, he knew it was time to confront her. He didn't want to admit it, but part of him was deeply afraid of her reaction. He had tried multiple times to confront her, and each time he had been unsuccessful. It had been disappointing each time he failed, but the more he thought about it, the more he wondered whether or not he wanted to see her true reaction. He had been begging for it for days now, however now he was having second thoughts. She was trying so very hard to keep this reaction and these feelings bottled up inside. There had to be a reason she was so afraid to confront this issue. He took a deep breath as he slowly walked up the stairs, reminding himself that he needed her to open up fully. They could only move forward after she dealt with her true feelings.

As he stepped into their room, his eyes immediately fell to her distraught figure sitting in the corner of the room with a leather-bound book on her lap. He sat down gently beside her, wrapping his right arm around her softly and pulling the left page of the book she was staring at so vigorously onto his lap.

"Why are you looking at this?" he asked softly, as he watched a tear fall from her cheek onto the plastic sheet below.

She was staring at the page with the same intense blank stare he had seen splayed across her face so many times throughout the last week. Upon hearing his words she buried her face in her hands, as the tears became more uncontrollable by the second.

"I can't…" she whispered through tightly clenched teeth.

"Can't what?" he returned softly, as he gentled tugged at her arms attempting to get her to lower them from her face.

She slowly let her hands fall into her lap too tired to fight any longer.

"Can't what?" he asked again gently as he rubbed his hand tenderly across her arm.

"I can't talk about it…" she returned through chocking sobs.

He began to stroke her cheek softly, encouraging her to continue.

"I can't deal with it… It hurts too much…. It hurts so badly," she wept.

"I know," he whispered. "I know. It eats at ya until you have nothin' left."

"It's like a shadow of darkness that hangs over me every second of every day," she spoke in anguish. "I just want to remove it so badly… To make it not true… I can't stop thinking that if that one thing were different everything would be okay…" she cried as the painful tears from deep inside came pouring out.

"I know," he said soothingly.

He closed the leather album and set it aside, before pulling her in deeper into his arms.

"I can't do this anymore… I can't pretend that it's okay… It's not okay, and it will never be okay again. _Never_…"

"Shhh, I know ya can't pretend anymore, and that's okay. I never wanted you ta pretend it was alright. It's okay ta be sad Michaela. It's okay ta be devastated. You're mournin' the loss of the healthy child ya thought we would have. It's alright to let yourself feel the pain," he returned.

"I just want it to stop," she cried in sorrow.

He cradled her even closer, pulling her onto his lap as he held her shaking form in his arms. The tears began streaming down his face, as he could no longer hold them back. Hearing her cries of misery pushed the tears forward from his sorrow-filled, blue eyes. This wasn't the first time he had held her while she cried in distress, but he had never seen her in this kind of pain before. _Never._ As he rocked her softly in his arms, she no longer attempted to hold anything back from him. She truly let herself sob hysterically for the first time since she heard the crushing news. He could hear her gasping for breath as she finally let herself feel everything for the first time since Monday.

"Please make it stop," she pleaded with him as her choking sobs continued.

"Sweetheart, you need ta breath," he spoke gently, knowing she had thrown herself into a full-blown panic attack. "Please ya have to calm down a little here. I promise it won't hurt like this forever. It will get better."

"No, it won't," she cried as she inhaled sharply.

She pushed his arms away gently and began to stand. His heart immediately fell, knowing she was pulling away from him. He had always been enough for her before, but now he wasn't. He alone wasn't enough to ease her pain or calm her down, and it broke his heart. Just as he was about to call out to her, his mind connected the images before him, and he realized why she had left. He jumped up quickly, making his way to the bathroom and crouching down at her side on the tile floor. His tears only flooded out at a more vigorous pace knowing she had worked herself into such a panic she was physically sick. When she finally leaned back into his arms, he could feel her trembling as she cried like a helpless child.

"Honey, it will get better I promise. Tomorrow it won't hurt so badly," he coaxed gently.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled softly.

"About what?" he returned.

"It's my fault…" she whispered.

"Sweetheart, what's your fault?"

"It's my fault he's like this," she confessed.

"How can ya say that?" he stammered.

"Sully, he's inside of me, and I didn't keep him safe," she stuttered.

"You did everything ya could. Sometimes awful things happen, and there's nothin' we can do to change them," he expressed as he held her tightly.

"I should have protected him," she said guilt dripping from her voice.

"Honey, there was nothin' ya could have done to change this. Nothin'. Please don't blame yourself. This isn't anyone's fault," he pleaded.

"We shouldn't have had another child. I never should have tried to have another baby. Why couldn't I have just been happy with the two perfectly healthy children I have?" she cried in desolation.

"There's nothin' wrong with wanting another child. For some reason it was meant ta be that we raise a son that needs extra help and support," he replied. "Please sweetheart promise me ya won't blame yourself? Please. I couldn't stand knowin' that ya still think this is in any way your fault," he pleaded looking down at the torment in her eyes.

"Okay, I promise," she answered through her tears of angst. "I'm sorry," she whispered once again. "I'm sorry I didn't let you in. It was just too hard. It was easier to pretend it wasn't true. But I can't pretend any longer. It's really true," she cried.

"I know," he soothed. "But ya let me in now. I know how much it hurts, I do. I understand more than anyone else. I feel that pain in your heart right here in mine," he explained.

"I know. Please just don't leave me alone. Don't let me go," she sobbed.

"Shhh," he repeated as he held her in his arms. "I'm here. I'm always here. I won't ever let you go," he returned sincerely holding her as close as he possibly could.

As hard as this was for him to see her like this, to hear her cries of pain, and to feel her agony, he knew that this was exactly what they both needed. This was the reaction she had been holding back for a week. She had been refusing to feel the pain he had been dealing with all along. But now she was feeling it, and he knew that was a step in the right direction. Though they had a long road, he knew they would make it. If he had her by his side, he could face anything.

* * *

_Author's Note: I encourage you to open the following you tube link in another window during the following section if you wish to hear the piece that is played. _

_The editing tool wouldn't allow me to paste the link directly, so simply type in you tube into your browser with the following text after .com/watch?v=iFr44k5dmY0 _

**August 27****th****, 2017 **

She stepped into the room lit only by sunshine streaming through the windows. She glanced around before taking a seat on the perfectly polished wooden bench. After taking a few deep breaths, she placed her hands delicately onto the stark white keys. She wasn't sure if she remembered it. Years had passed since she had purchased the sheet music, and at the present moment she had no desire whatsoever to locate it.** _(Click on the video ;) ) _**As soon as her index finger stroked the first key the piece flowed freely from her delicate fingers without any extensive effort on her part. As the room was filled with the beautiful, touching melody, she quickly lost herself in the pastime that had been such a dramatic part of her childhood. She closed her eyes softly feeling the music flow through her, as it seemed to express her thoughts in the way no words could.

He sighed deeply as he stretched his arms above his head willing himself to open his eyes. When he finally allowed them to flutter open, he realized what had woken him. In a spilt second he looked over to his right side, quickly realizing she was missing. As the sweet sounds echoed through the house, he stepped out of bed and made his way towards the dining room. He couldn't for the life of him figure out why she was playing so early on a Sunday morning. Granted he knew they would all be up shortly, and he figured she knew that as well. But she hadn't played much since Katie was born, and it just didn't seem to fit. _And that song… Why did it seem so familiar? It was so… so… sorrowful… _It touched his heart in a way he couldn't explain. It held such sadness, and she always played with such emotion it literally touched his soul.

As he stepped into the doorway he remained silent, knowing she would stop if she knew he was there. He watched as her fingers continued to glide across the keys effortlessly, and he had to smile to himself upon hearing the beautiful music she was adding to his world. Immediately upon glancing in her direction, he noticed that her eyes were closed. She was merely playing this directly from memory. Not only was she not reading sheet music, she wasn't even glancing down at the keys below her. In his opinion, there were only certain people that could carry that type of skill. They were artists with true talent.

Upon hearing her finger strike the last key, he approached her from behind laying his hands gently onto her shoulders. Then, he swiftly took a seat next to her and smiled lovingly in her direction.

"It was beautiful," he said warmly.

"I'm sorry I woke you," she answered gently.

"Nah, don't worry about it. It was a great way ta wake up. 'Sides I'm guessin' ya knew that we needed to get up soon before you ever started playin'," he replied with a grin.

"Hmmm something like that," she said with a small smile.

"Can I ask what it was that you were playin'?"

"That piece from _The Last Song_ that I bought the sheet music for several years ago," she answered wistfully.

"The one ya learned to play right after I bought this piano?"

"Yes," she said her smile growing at the memory he had referenced.

"I never understood why ya wanted ta play that song anyway. It's so sad and depressing," he responded.

"And beautiful," she added.

"Yes, that too," he said with a wink. "What inspired ya to play this morning? Anything specific?"

"I don't know… I guess it just expresses the sorrow I feel inside," she answered dejectedly.

"Come here," he said gently as he pulled her into his arms.

"I thought it wouldn't feel as bad today, but it does," she said softly.

"You need ta give it time. Ya can't expect that kind of pain to dissipate over night," he responded in a soft tone.

"How do you do it?"

"Do what?" he wondered.

"How do you stay so strong and grounded? How do you remain so together all the time?" she uttered her voice crackling slightly.

"Well, honestly it's 'cause of you. I force myself ta stay strong, knowin' that you need me," he explained.

"It's okay to break down you know. I can be there for you, too. You spent the whole week trying to get me to share my feelings, yet you still haven't shared yours," she stated gently.

"So, tell me. How do you feel about this?" she asked as she lightly placed her hand on top of his.

"That's a hard question ta answer. I was in complete shock when they told me at the hospital. But I guess I moved right into feelin' the sorrow and grief. I didn't go through the denial like you did," he replied thoughtfully.

"Mmm, and you were better for it," she returned rubbing his hand gently with her thumb.

"And I guess I just think about how much worse things could have been," he stated in almost a whisper.

"James told me all about anencephaly. Why didn't you explain it ta me more? Why didn't you tell me exactly what that meant?" he expressed.

He couldn't believe the relief he had upon expressing that aloud. He hadn't realized how much he needed to ask her why she hadn't confided in him. It had been weighting heavily on his heart since James had told him that terrible afternoon.

"Why would I do that? I told you it was a severe and usually fatal brain defect. That's all you needed to know. That's all I would have told a patient," she answered.

"But I'm not a patient, I'm your husband," he said in frustration.

"Right. So, the need to protect you is even greater. What good would it have done to tell you that most children with anencephaly are stillborn, and the rest die within days of birth?"

"I could have helped ya that week… It must have been devastatin' ta deal with the fact that we may loose our son… How did you deal with that alone?"

"You are my rock Sully. You always have been, and I hope you always will be. Whenever I need you, you are always there for me. You've never let me down, ever. Your unfailing support has made me who I am today. Can't I be your rock sometimes? Hold you while you cry? Can't I protect you from pain, too?"

"Yeah… It's just so hard ta know that you were dealin' with more worry and anxiety then I was. I just feel like I could have been more supportive…" he explained.

"That's not possible. You did everything you could have that week. Just like you are doing everything you can now. And I dealt with it by denying that it was even a possibility. Something you and I both know I'm fairly good at," she returned with a smile.

That was the first joke he had heard her make in over a week. He smiled in response, as he could see pieces of her old-self returning. After a few moments of silence, she turned to look up at him again.

"Sully, what are we going to do?" she spoke in almost a whisper.

"There's nothin' we can do," he returned despondently.

"I know. And I think that's what hurts the most," she said as a small tear felt from her eye.

He kissed her on the cheek gently and stood from the wooden bench. "I'm going to start breakfast," he stated.

"Okay," she answered softly

"You goin' ta keep playin'?"

"No, I'll be in to help in a few minutes," she replied.

"Okay," he returned with a small smile.

She glanced down at the porcelain keys, as her mind quickly flashed back to the first time she had played for him. A time when the child inside of her was healthy…

* * *

**December 11****th****, 2010 **

"So, where exactly are we going?" she wondered as they drove along the highway.

"Well, a friend of mine used ta have this amazin' dining room table. It was made by this guy that crafted these one-of-a-kind wooden tables for a living. I had never seen a more beautiful piece of furniture in my life. I asked him for the guy's name ta try and track one down for myself. He explained that the guy had passed away years before, and that all of his tables had been sold before his death.

Anyway, I still wrote down the guy's name thinkin' that one day I may come across one in a resale shop somewhere. After we bought the house and started lookin' for furniture, I put in a couple of calls tellin' people ta look out for any of these tables. So, anyway I got a call this morning about one at this antique store downtown," he finished.

"Wow," she answered simply.

"Is that a good wow?" he inquired.

"Of course! I can't wait to see this amazing table," she responded.

"Neither can I. Like I said they're all suppose ta be one-of-a-kind."

"Perfect for our new house then," she returned.

"Yep," he replied with a smile.

* * *

As he held the wooden door open to the small shop, she quickly stepped inside and he soon followed. Both looked around in awe at all of the unique pieces surrounding them.

"Hi, can I help you?" the young man behind the counter questioned.

"Yeah, I'm lookin' for Robert. I got a call this morning sayin' he had a dining room table I might be interested in," Sully explained.

"Oh, he's in the back. I'll go get him for you, sir," he responded politely.

"Thanks," he replied before glancing around to see where Michaela had wandered.

He soon spotted her in the corner sitting down on a wooden piano bench.

"Hey," he said, as he sat down beside her. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Why do you ask?" she said with a smile.

"Just wonderin' if you needed ta sit down 'cause of the baby," he explained in concern.

"No, we're fine," she replied giving his arm a squeeze.

"I always wanted ta learn to play," he said softly glancing down at the black and ivory keys.

"Really?" she questioned in astonishment.

"Yeah. Why did you say it like that?" he responded.

"I don't know, I was just surprised," she answered softly as she placed her hands delicately onto the keys.

"Whoa! Do you play?" he asked in amazement.

He knew that it was unusual for someone who didn't play to be able to set their hands so precisely on the keys. People who were merely experimenting didn't have that kind of accurate placement. She looked over at him and flashed him a quick smile before turning her face back towards the keys.

He was utterly captivated from the moment she struck the first key. He marveled in amazement at how she perfectly recalled a piano piece with no music sheet to guide her. However, it was more than just the astonishment that she knew the piece from memory. She possessed this passion… It was simply this perfect touch that couldn't be explained. She was actually feeling the piece rather than thinking about which keys to strike next. He could only describe it by saying she was truly showing the difference between talent and technical skill. As she filled the room with the perfectly played melody, he could only smile. Here she was skillfully playing a seven-minute piano piece from memory, and he hadn't even known she could play.

"Wow," he uttered in astonishment as she finished. "I had no idea you could even play. And that well? I'm completely speechless."

"Thanks," she said with a blush.

"I can't believe ya can still recall that entire piece," he said shaking his head slightly. "How long has it been since you played?"

"Oh, I don't know… around ten years," she answered.

"That's amazin'. Simply amazin'."

"Well, my mother despised _Moonlight Sonata_, so needless to say it was the piece I always chose to play. Played it in countless competitions as well. It forced her to hear it over and over, and she couldn't complain because she wanted me to win the competition," she explained with a mischievous smile.

"Why did she hate it?" he said with a laugh.

"She thought it was creepy. I'm not really sure where that came from, but that's what she said anyway."

As both of them were caught up in laughter, Robert approached the young couple with a smile on his face.

"That was wonderful," he said with a smile.

"Thank you," she replied the slight blush returning to her face.

"I take it you are Mr. Byron Sully?" he ventured.

"That I am. You can call me Sully," he returned extending his hand. "And this is my wife, Michaela."

"Alright then nice to meet you both. I've got the table you wanted over in the corner," Robert explained leading the way across the store.

"Wow," she whispered as she ran her hand along the carved decorations etched into the table's legs. "This is stunning,"

"I know," he said with a smile. "I told you his tables were beautiful."

"It's perfect," she grinned in return.

"We'll take it," he exclaimed with excitement.

"Wonderful!" Robert replied before making his way towards the register to retrieve some paperwork.

"Hey, before we go I wanna ask ya something," he said to her softly.

"Okay," she returned.

"What do ya think about buying a piano for the dining room? I think a piano would be great in that room along with this table."

"A piano, huh?" she said with a grin.

"Well, if I have a wife that can play that great, it would be a shame not to buy her a piano," he responded.

"It would be nice to teach our little one how to play," she said softly placing her hand across her abdomen.

"You bet," he said with a grin. "Did ya like the one here, or do you want a brand new one?" he inquired.

"I like things with character," she stated.

"As do I," he said with a smile.

"Hey, Robert we'll take the piano, too," he said cheerfully as he pulled her towards him.

"Terrific," he hollered back across the store.

"I love you," he said softly as he placed a gentle kiss on her lips.

"I love you, too," she returned.

Then, both walked hand in hand to the counter to fill out the forms required to have their new furniture delivered to the beautiful house they would soon move into.


	11. Chapter 11

**Ch.11**

**August 28****th****, 2017**

"Katie, honey put your bowl in the sink," Michaela shouted from the living room.

"Hannah, if you don't stand still I can't tie this tight enough," she explained slightly exasperated as she attempted to tie the hair ribbon at the bottom of the blond braid.

"Sorry," she replied still fidgeting slightly.

"There I'm finished. Now you can move," she said, and Hannah quickly ran to her room to grab her backpack.

While Hannah dashed off to her room, Michaela began searching the living room for the camera that always seemed to be lost.

"Mommy, what are you looking for?" Katie inquired as she watched her mother search through the wooden bookcases.

"The camera. Sweetheart, go get your shoes and bring them here, so I can tie them for you," she returned.

"Okay," Katie replied skipping down the hallway.

Hannah returned and took a seat on the couch to tie her black and white saddle shoes. Michaela soon found the camera behind a picture frame, and turned around quickly spotting Hannah on the couch.

"Oh, Hannah," she said softly as she wiped a tear from her eye.

"Mommy, why are you crying?" she returned genuinely confused.

"Oh, it's just what moms do when their little girls go off to their first day of school," she answered wistfully.

"Mommy, I've been to school before," Hannah replied.

"Yes, but this is all day school. It's a big deal," she said as the tears continued to fall from her eyes.

"Okay…" she answered still not understanding it fully.

"You're just growing up so fast… I still remember when I dropped you off for your first day of preschool…" she explained nostalgically.

"That was a long time ago," Hannah responded.

"Not to me," Michaela answered softly as she looked over at her oldest daughter.

"Come stand over here by the window. I want to take some pictures of you before we have to leave."

"Oh, okay," she answered quickly jumping up from the couch and bouncing over toward the window.

After taking about a dozen pictures, she requested Hannah put her backpack on and proceeded to take several more.

"How many pictures are ya goin' ta take?" he said with a laugh, as he and Katie stepped into the living room.

"I still haven't taken any of Katie yet," she replied.

"Alright, well ya can't take two thousand, or they'll be late for school," he answered teasingly.

"Okay, Katie go stand by your sister," she requested.

After she had taken several pictures of the girls together and then several of just Katie, he gently reminded her again that they needed to leave soon.

"Come here Katie," she said as she pulled her daughter in close.

"Goodbye sweetheart. Have a wonderful first day of school," she said with a tear falling down her face.

"I will," she replied cheerfully.

"I love you sweetie," she returned as she kissed her daughter.

"Don't cry Mommy," she said as she brushed her tiny hand across her mother's cheek.

"Okay, I won't," Michaela answered with a small laugh.

"Not you too, Daddy," Hannah said as she caught her father wiping a few tears from his eyes as well.

"I'm sorry, honey. I tried not to, but I couldn't help it. Ya look so cute in that uniform," he returned affectionately.

"I don't know about that," she said with a shrug.

"No, really. I think you are the prettiest little girl I've ever seen in a uniform," he explained as he pulled her in for a hug.

"What about Mommy? She said she had to wear a uniform to school."

"Yeah, she did. But she looked silly in hers. It was just white and red, and she looked like a peppermint stick," he said with a wink.

"Hey, I did not!" she cried as the girls erupted in laughter.

"Alright if you say so," he retorted.

She simply shook her head gently in his direction as he hugged Hannah goodbye. Then, he turned and pulled Michaela into his arms. He planted a sweet kiss on her lips before saying, "Goodbye sweetheart. Call me if you need to talk at all."

He knew today would be hard for her. Not only was it Hannah's first day of first grade, but it was Katie's first day of preschool. That and the added stress of the baby and the recent news was bound to take a toll on her.

"Okay," she answered softly.

He nodded in her direction before taking Katie's hand and leading the way to the garage with Hannah and Michaela following closely behind.

* * *

Hannah ran towards one of the little wooden desks by the window exclaiming, "Mommy, mine is over here!"

Michaela soon joined her, and Hannah began to excitedly jump up and down as she pointed to the desk directly across from the one with 'Hannah Sully' printed in black letters.

"Look Mommy, Madison is sitting right next to me!" she cried in excitement knowing her best friend from Kindergarten would be sitting close by.

Michaela breathed a small sigh of relief knowing Hannah was liable to have a good day with her best friend so close.

"That's wonderful sweetheart. But promise me you won't talk to her when the teacher wants you to be quiet and listen."

"I promise," she answered with a smile as she pulled the top of the wooden desk upward.

"Look we even get the desks with the tops that lift up. Those are the best ones!" she exclaimed as she sat her backpack down in the blue plastic chair.

"They are, huh?" Michaela questioned as Hannah eagerly unzipped her backpack.

"Yeah!" she said excitedly as she began pulling the markers and pencils from her backpack and placing them neatly into her desk.

"So, it looks like you are going to have fun in this class," Michaela stated as she helped Hannah place the remaining supplies safely inside her desk.

"I think you're right," Hannah replied cheerfully.

"Can I have a kiss goodbye?" she prompted bending down to Hannah's level.

"Bye Mommy, I love you," she returned as she wrapped her arms tightly around her mother's neck.

"I love you, too sweetie. Do you know where you're going after school?"

"Yeah. I'm supposed to make sure the teacher knows that I go to daycare across the street. Then, you or Daddy will pick Katie and me up after work," she answered confidently.

"That's right," she responded placing a kiss on her daughter's cheek.

"Bye Mommy," she said again as she kissed her mother and then pulled back slightly.

"Bye honey," she said softly as she looked down into her daughter's blue eyes.

In that very moment, she saw so much of Sully in her daughter's sparkling eyes. Many people said Hannah resembled Michaela, but she always saw so much of her husband present in her little girl's appearance and spirit. She winked at Hannah one more time before walking towards the door of the classroom. As she stepped into the hallway, she turned around to see Hannah still watching her. She waved confidently to her mother, and Michaela returned the gesture with a smile.

* * *

As she continued down the hall, she felt the strong tears welling behind her eyes. She had promised herself she wouldn't cry, but it was simply too hard. Her little girl, who had been so very small what seemed like only days ago, was now in first grade. She could still vividly remember the day they had brought her home from the hospital. Nothing about that memory seemed to belong six and a half years in the past. She gently wiped away her tears as she continued down the hall and out the door, passing many parents with similar tears of sadness in their eyes.

She wondered how Sully was doing dropping off Katie. She didn't think he would have many problems considering this wasn't the first time Katie had been away from her mother and father for the day. She had been going to daycare for years now, so preschool shouldn't be overwhelming for her. When she had dropped Hannah off at preschool for the very first time, Hannah was one of the few children that didn't cry as she was separated from her mother. She hoped for Sully's sake that Katie reacted the same way.

As she pulled her car door shut and started the car, she couldn't help but glance up once again at the large stone building. Her mind quickly flashed to the day Katie would be entering that school as a first grader. As soon as her mind was filled with thoughts of both of her daughters attending such a prestigious private school, she snapped her eyes shut tight as she knew her mind was about to enter that dark cave again. The dark cave she tried to keep herself from entering every waking moment. _He will never walk into school confidently the way Hannah had…. He may never even attend this school… If he has a severe mental handicap, he very likely won't… He won't go to school with his sisters, ever… or read a book… or learn to write…or even play on the playground._

The thoughts of her son's broken future hurt so deeply she could barely stand the pain. She tried to push those thoughts away, but they were so very good at gripping onto her very tightly and refusing to let go. She picked up the phone to call Sully but decided against it. There was a good chance he was still across the street dropping Katie off, or better yet on his way to work. He rarely answered his phone while driving, and besides she wasn't going to do that to him. There was no reason to bring him down with her. For all she knew he had found a way to have a positive day, and she couldn't take that away from him. Just because she was miserable didn't mean he had to be as well.

"How could you let this happen?" she cried in anguish her gaze turned above.

"Was it simply too hard? Too hard to let me have him safe and healthy? That's all we wanted. That's all we asked for," she said as the tears spilled from her eyes.

"Is this punishment for wanting another child? Should I have just been happy with two? I guess you tried to tell me that with Katie, but I wouldn't listen. I guess I should have considered myself lucky to have Katie alive and healthy, but I couldn't just be happy with my life the way it was. Is that what this is about?" she said in despair pausing only to steady her rapid breathing.

"I don't know how to accept this… I truly don't. And I don't know how to accept the fact that you allowed this to happen. Why didn't you protect him? Why? I did everything I could…" she sobbed as she buried her head in her hands.

"Maybe this was just too good to be true… It was simply too easy to conceive him. I should have known something was around the bend… I should have known… No one gets what they want this easily… No one…" she cried as her body began shaking from the overwhelming agony.

Her mind began to flash back to those days three years ago… Those painful days in which she had thought she would never have another child. That time she had experienced the pain up front. This time there had been no pain, so now it was time to pay the price…

* * *

**February 17****th****, 2013 **

As the silence in the room rang through both of their ears, they knew the inevitable pain was around the corner. In a matter of moments they would be told once again that it wasn't happening. That stick would deliver painful news yet again, and each would be faced with the true meaning behind it. It would mean another month of waiting, anticipating, praying, hoping, and pleading. Another month of wishing for something they had come to realize they had very little control over. She turned her gaze to the blinking clock then back to his blue eyes.

"Do ya want me ta look at it this time?" he questioned gently.

She merely shook her head in response, as it required far too much strength to respond verbally. She slowly stood and walked toward the bathroom door, though it took every ounce of strength inside of her to put one foot in front of the other.

As soon as she stepped back into the room and lifted her head only slightly to gaze into his eyes, he knew exactly what it had said. The same thing it had said the last eight months every time they had looked. He jumped to his feet, and quickly pulled her into his arms knowing the utter devastation was bound to hit her at any moment.

"Oh, I'm so sorry sweetheart," he responded as he held her close.

"No, I'm sorry. I know you want this as badly as I do…" she whispered as the tears fell from her eyes. "Besides it's probably my fault anyway…"

"Don't say that. We don't know that. At this point we have no idea why it's still not workin'. The fact that they still chalk it up ta not a problem is the most frustrating part. How many more months do we have ta put up with this pain for it to be considered a problem?" he expressed in frustration.

"Three," she replied glumly knowing exactly how doctors felt regarding this issue.

"Do you wanna give up?" he responded sadly with tears now falling from his eyes.

"Of course not! How can you even say that?" she questioned clearly upset.

"I'm sorry. You're right, but this is just so hard. And it never gets any easier… It only gets worse," he cried as his heart ached with lost dreams.

"Don't you still want another child?" she questioned through tear-stained eyes.

"Of course I do. I just don't know how much more of this I can take," he answered clearly feeling defeated.

"We can't give up. Not if this is what we really want. We have to keep praying Sully. One of these days it will happen," she responded with a slight smile.

"You're right," he said nodding his head softly as he ran his hands gently up and down her arms.

"It's just endurin' this pain three more times before we can even discuss other options just seems like an awful sentence," he explained as he brought his hand up to gently wipe away the tears from her eyes.

"I know, but maybe it won't happen that way. Maybe we'll get our wish next month," she replied wistfully.

"I guess it's possible," he responded with a shrug.

"Pray Sully. Believe that it will work out," she said softly as she lay her head down on his chest.

"I have been, honey. I have been," he said as the sorrow flooded his heart.

As he held his crying sweetheart in his arms, he willed himself not to loose all hope or faith. Clearly she had yet to abandon all heart, so he couldn't either. He took a deep, steadying breath telling himself that although things seemed grim and he felt defeated, things could always be worse. He had a healthy wife and daughter, and for that he was grateful even if their wish for another child was not in the cards yet.

* * *

**June 17****th****, 2013**

_No, there's no way… It can't possibly say that, _she thought as her mind began spinning. She squeezed her eyes shut and opened them again sure that she would see a different result. But it was still there staring her in the face. After repeatedly shaking the stick back and forth, it still read that one magical word. "Oh my God," she mouthed as she pulled another box out from underneath the cabinet. This simply couldn't be right. With her hands shaking as she ripped open the box, excitement flooded through every bone in her body. If this one displayed the same one word answer she had been longing to see for over a year now, she truly wouldn't know what to do with the over flooding joy.

"Barbie, I'm NOT eating green beans again tonight! I mean it! Don't put them in the basket!" Sully cried as he shook the Ken doll back and forth.

Hannah giggled to pieces as she made the blond plastic doll place the small can of green beans into the pink plastic cart.

"No! I HATE green beans, and I'm not eatin' them!" Sully shouted as the plastic Ken doll in his hand ran down the next aisle in the tiny grocery store playset.

Hannah only erupted in more laughter as the Barbie in her hand proceeded to add another can of green beans to the cart. Sully's Ken doll soon arrived back at the pink basket dropping in two plastic cartons of chocolate ice cream.

"Well you can eat all the green beans ya want to Barbie. I'm eatin' ice cream for dinner," Sully replied triumphantly holding his Ken upright in protest.

In response, Hannah burst out in a fit of laughter so intense tears were streaming down her face. Sully soon joined in on the contagious laughter as his daughter's sweet giggle filled the room.

"What are you laughin' at? Huh?" he questioned as he tickled his sweet little girl eliciting even more laughter.

He turned his eyes towards the doorway, as Michaela bounced in her face lit up in a way he had never seen before.

"Come here," she requested with a large grin as she playfully motioned for him to join her with her index finger.

He released Hannah from his playful hold and pushed off from the ground, appearing at her side very eager to learn what had her this ecstatic.

"What?" he said in question as she grinned back at him.

"I have something I want to share with you," she said softly.

"Okay…." he replied as he laced his hands into hers affectionately.

"I'm pregnant!" she exclaimed in a rush of emotion.

"Oh my God!" he screamed, as he picked her up off the ground.

As he spun her around in his arms, Hannah quickly bounced over to his side eager to join in on the excitement. He gently placed Michaela back down on the ground and bent down to pick up Hannah. She jumped up and down in excitement and wrapped her arms around his neck as he held her tightly with one arm. Then, he wrapped the other around Michaela pulling her in close.

"I can't believe this!" he cried in happiness.

"Neither can I! I even ran another test to make sure," she explained her eyes sparkling with pure elation.

"But I thought the doctors said we needed ta try those fertility drugs?" he questioned.

"They did say that, but I guess we got lucky. It worked without them," she responded.

"I think it was all that prayin'," he said with a smile.

"I think you're right. But you do know that we will have to discuss all of this again next time? If there is a next time…" she trailed off softly.

"Why wouldn't there be a next time? If you still want more children ya know I will always be on board. I told ya that a long time ago."

"Even after all of this anxiety, worry, and stress?"

"Of course! Next time we'll be prepared for the waitin'. We'll know it's down the road, and be ready to explore all the different treatment options. And it will be a relief not ta have to wait a year to try them either," he answered confidently.

"I know!" she cheerfully responded.

By this time Hannah had grown tired of being held and began to wiggle in Sully's arms. After placing a kiss on her forehead, he placed her back on the ground. Then, after wrapping both arms around Michaela, they both simply stood in silence relishing in the comfort of being in one another's embrace.

"Sully," she whispered softly.

"Yeah?" he returned.

"I think there's another reason it worked this time."

"And why's that?" he inquired.

"You realize that the night this well… happened…" she said blushing slightly.

"What?" he said nudging her slightly urging her to continue.

"The night we… well created this baby... was our anniversary…" she explained with a shy smile.

A grin erupted across his features as his mind flashed back to that night. Daniel and Jennifer had offered to babysit Hannah for the evening, and they had decided to have a romantic dinner alone at home to celebrate. Their evening had quickly spiraled into one of passionate enthusiasm as they had decided to take a month off from attempting to conceive. Both had been caught up in the moment rather than worried about the end result. It had been one of the best nights they had ever had together. He knew memories of that night were the cause of the blush that crept across her cheeks.

"That makes it all the more special," he said affectionately as he placed a gentle kiss onto her lips.

"That it does," she replied as they both turned their gaze toward little Hannah playing with her grocery store playset.

Both had the same smile across their face as thoughts of their new little one playing on the floor with Hannah one day danced through their heads.

* * *

**August 28****th****, 2017**

She brushed the tears from her eyes for the thousandth time since leaving Hannah at school. That joy…happiness…relief… that had come from those positive test results had been one of the best feelings of her life. She had endured over a year of pain, begging and pleading with God to give her another child. This time, however, she hadn't experienced that year of pain. She hadn't begged for another child. As she had said before this child had fallen into her lap, just as Hannah had.

But unlike Hannah her son wasn't going to be born healthy, and there was absolutely nothing she could do to change that. Her son had spina bifida… No matter what she said or did… what she hoped, wished, begged, or pleaded for nothing would change that dreaded fact. Nothing. _Come on Michaela pull it together here, _she commanded.

After another few moments of sitting in the silence of the car, she knew she needed to open the door. Frankly, she shouldn't even be here at all. She should be at work and she knew she would pay for that, but she honestly didn't care. It took too much strength to overcome this pain day after day. It was a strength she didn't believe she still possessed.

It had been exactly a week since they had heard the dreaded news. A week since her world came crashing down around her. Everything had been wonderful before that horrendous news... She could feel her heart racing as the breathless feeling overwhelmed her. She would give anything to go back to those weeks of happiness. Those weeks when she was able to feel the joy that every other expectant mother felt instead of this pain and heartache. _It's not fair... Why did this happen to us? Why couldn't he just be healthy? Why can't I just be happy at the thought of him inside of me like every other mother? _The painful thoughts swirled through her head to such a degree she soon felt lightheaded. She knew she had to focus on calming herself down quickly.

After she took a few deep breaths, she soon realized that maybe it wasn't such a bad decision to stay home for the day. She had almost thrown herself into a full-blown panic attack, which wasn't good for her or the baby. Although sleeping wasn't a permanent solution, it would work for the time being as it had for the last week. She knew if she spent the afternoon in bed, these awful thoughts of reality wouldn't torture her. So, after a few more deep breaths, she opened her car door and walked into the house.

After sending Sully a text message asking him to pick up the girls after work, she turned the ringer off on her phone and tossed it onto the dresser. If there were a real emergency someone would call the house phone. Then, she tossed her black heels into the closet, and slipped into a t-shirt and sweatpants. When Sully came home with the girls, he would simply assume she'd been able to get off work slightly early and took a nap before they arrived home. It was better if he didn't know she skipped out on work today. He would worry himself sick over it, and in all honesty sleep wouldn't hurt her son or her one bit. For now sleeping would take away the pain, and enable her to make it through another day. And that was all that really mattered.


	12. Chapter 12

**Ch.12**

_Disclaimer: Song lyrics are from Break Your Heart by Taio Cruz. Song itself and lyrics are property of their respective owners._

**February 25****th****, 2017**

As he walked back to their bedroom after putting the breakfast dishes in the dishwasher, he could hear the upbeat pop song playing from the radio. The minute he stepped through the door, he was captivated by the sight in front of him. There she was in a black satin pushup bra and dark wash jeans with a toothbrush in her mouth.

"_If you fall for me, I'm not easy to please, I might tear you apart, Told you from the start, baby, from the start…"_ The lyrics of the song came popping from the radio as she slowly circled her hips to the beat of the song. He continued to watch as she moved her hips in alluring circles, while her left hand rocked the toothbrush back and forth in her mouth.

As the chorus of the song hit, she thrust her hips upward, bouncing along even more energetically with the music. With the toothbrush still in her mouth, she gently rocked her head from side to side. Then, she switched the toothbrush to her right hand and pulled it from her mouth. As soon as she had the toothbrush in hand she began to lip sink the words to the song, _"I'm only gonna break break your break break your heart."_

He smiled from ear to ear thinking she was still charming even with a mouth full of toothpaste. She winked at him in the mirror, clearly now aware he was watching her. Though rather than stopping, she continued to dance sensually to the song. As she moved her right hand through her hair and down her body, thrusting her left hip outward, he knew she was doing it intentionally. She wanted to see how long he could merely watch her. Well he didn't care if she won this game. He wanted to put his hands on her right that very second, and he didn't care who knew.

As soon as he arrived at her side, she smiled at him through the mirror. He quickly grabbed her from behind, something she clearly wasn't expecting from the innocent way he had approached her. She let out a small gasp as toothpaste splattered out of her mouth and down her face. He let out a small chuckle at that one, and she quickly spit the rest of it into the sink and turned to face him.

"You've got a little something on your face," he said with a laugh at the sight of her covered in blue foam.

Instead of reaching for the towel like he thought she would, she pulled him towards her swiftly and planted a deep kiss on his lips.

When she finally severed the connection, she smiled and said, "You've got something on your face."

"Wonder who put it there?" he teased as he grabbed the towel to wipe his face.

"What's with the old music anyhow?" he questioned.

"What?"

"Isn't that song like years and years old?"

"I think so. You know I'm not really sure. The radio DJ said they were playing some old stuff this morning. He didn't say how old though," she answered.

He gently flipped the switch off on the radio, and watched as she ran her silver handled hairbrush through her hair.

"Hey, I was wonderin' if we could talk about something…" he started unsure really how to begin.

"Are the girls okay?" she questioned anxiously as she visibly tensed.

"Oh, yeah they're fine. They're in Katie's room playin' with their Barbies," he explained.

She nodded and he could see her worry melt away as her body became relaxed once again.

"Well, it kills me ta say this but…" he stammered.

"But what?" she responded becoming slightly concerned once again.

"Can ya put a shirt on?" he requested softly.

"Why?" she replied sounding a little hurt.

" 'Cause what I wanna talk to ya about is kinda serious. And staring at ya like that… well ya jumble up all of my thoughts," he said with a sheepish grin.

"I do?" she said with a big smile.

"Oh, yeah…" he returned with a goofy starstruck smile.

"Yeah sure," she said sweetly running her hand across his face gently before retreating to the bedroom.

After pulling a ruffled halter-top over her head, she sat down on the edge of the bed.

"What did you want to talk about?"

"Well, I don't really know if this is the right time ta bring this up, or really when ta bring it up…" he said having a difficult time initiating this conversation.

"Whatever it is you can ask me. You know that," she said softly taking his hands delicately into her own.

"Well I've just been thinkin' that Katie is almost three now," he said, as he sat down beside her.

"Yeah?"

"And we always talked about wanting another baby… And I don't know, I just thought it was something we should talk about," he said softly.

"Do you want another baby?" she replied gently.

"Yeah," he said in a quiet but sincere tone.

She nodded in reply but remained completely silent.

"Don't you?" he gently probed after moments of not hearing even a word slip from her lips.

"Yes, I do," she returned.

"Really?" he stated wanting to make sure he had heard her correctly.

"Yes, really. It's just that…" she stammered.

"Yeah?"

"I'm just not ready yet," she explained with a heavy heart.

"Okay," he responded gently.

"What I mean to say is I'm not ready to go through that pain again. All that anticipation and disappointment was awful… I'm just not ready yet."

"Alright. But you still want ta try again someday?" he inquired.

"Someday… soon," she said with a smile.

"Yeah?" he returned quickly perking up after hearing her words.

"Yes. How about I let you know when I'm ready?"

"Sounds like a plan ta me," he replied his heart soaring with excitement.

"And you are ready whenever?" she said wanting to clarify.

"Whenever you are," he said with a smile.

"Okay, then," she replied.

"You're a wonderful father, you know," she whispered softly as she leaned into his embrace.

"And our children could not have a better mother," he returned as he held her close.

* * *

**September 4****th****, 2017**

_Oh, God if only I could go back to that day… If only I had told him 'no'. I should have told him 'no'. He would have been crushed… I would have been crushed… But it would have saved us both so much pain. It would have spared this child a life of misery. _

She was once again holding herself responsible for her son's fate. It was much easier to scold herself for poor choices on her part, then to blame God. She could punish herself for what had happened, but she couldn't punish God. And the anger hurt more than the guilt did, so she chose to live with the guilt.

_It really is your fault. It was placed in your hands that day. You could have said 'no' to him then, or better yet just never stopped taking those pills. He didn't even know you had stopped. If you had never brought it up again maybe it would have been months and months later. Then, maybe it wouldn't have worked… You wouldn't be pregnant now, but your son wouldn't be born with a terrible defect either…._

She felt the tears leaking from her closed eyes again, and she quickly turned onto her right side. She knew that if he turned over and saw the tears in her eyes, she would be forced to have another painful discussion with him. As she lay awake in the dark, she wished deeply that she would just fall back to sleep. She knew that wouldn't happen though. After spending most of Sunday in bed simply explaining she was tired again, she had slept too many hours to sleep now.

Last Monday night had been the very same way. After sleeping the day away, she lay awake most of the night. It was difficult to be faced with her thoughts in the darkness of the night, but at least she was faced with them alone then. If she confronted them during the day she would have to deal with all the additional stress of hiding her true thoughts and emotions from those around her.

She knew the upcoming day at work would be terrible after staying awake all night. Ever since she had taken Monday off, she had been tempted every day since to do it again. She had been right; he had never known she had stayed home in bed all day. _And he will never know if you do it again… _the small voice in her head whispered tempting her more by the second.

Deciding she needed a distraction, she slipped quietly out of bed and looked over to make sure she hadn't woken him. Then, after sliding the bottom drawer open and pulling the leather bound book out, she quietly crept from the room and down the hall. After she took a seat on the couch, she began flipping through picture after picture of laughing, smiling, happy, and sweet little Hannah and Katie. They were pictures of a life not plagued with despair. They were memories of happiness that would never return… At least she had these pictures. They were almost like little time capsules. It was easy to look at them with longing and wish life was that happy and joyful again, but she knew it never would be, _never_.

* * *

**September 5****th****, 2017 **

As she sat at the granite countertop flipping through pages in a catalog, he grabbed the bar stool beside her and took a seat.

"Can I talk to ya for a minute?" he started.

"Sure," she replied weakly.

"You've been starin' at that same page for the last fifteen minutes," he said softly.

"Hmm?" she questioned looking over into his eyes filled with worry.

"Ya haven't turned the page even once. What's goin' on?"

"Nothing," she said quietly.

"Please don't start with the nothin' again. If ya don't want to discuss it that's fine, but at least tell me what's wrong," he requested gently.

"I don't know…" she stammered gazing off into the distance. "Nothing is quite the same anymore… so much of life seems to have lost it's meaning."

He gently placed his arm around her, and she responded by laying her head on his shoulder.

"I wish I knew what to say…" he began. "I guess I just always go back ta how much worse things could be…"

She sighed softly clearly thinking over what he had said.

"He's still alive and that's what truly matters. As hard as this is Michaela he needs ya. He needs your love just like Hannah and Katie."

"Yeah, I know, and I do love him. That's the problem. If I didn't love him, it wouldn't hurt this much," she returned softly.

"Ask God ta help ya through this. That's what I've been doing," he said gently.

She merely shrugged her shoulders knowing she hadn't exactly found comfort in this solution.

"What did you want to talk to me about?" she questioned.

"Well Edmund actually called me about ten minutes ago and asked if I wanted ta meet him for a drink. I was goin' ta ask ya if you would mind, but clearly you need me here."

"No, I don't. Sully, it's fine. Go out with Edmund. Sitting here with me won't change anything. I just have to find a way to accept this. And I think the only way to do that is to simply continue through life until some of the pain goes away."

"Are ya sure? 'Cause I really don't mind stayin' with you. If ya need me I want to be here for you," he returned.

"Thank you, but I rather have you go. I promise you I'm fine," she said with a half smile.

"Are you positive? 'Cause ya don't seem fine ta me," he replied.

"Yes, I'm positive. I want you to go out with Edmund. It'll be nice to have some time alone with the girls."

"Alright…." he answered hesitantly. "Please call me if you need me."

"I will, but only if you do something for me."

"Sure. What is it?"

"Tell the girls goodnight before you go," she requested.

"Of course. I love you," he said before placing a gentle kiss on her lips.

"I love you too," she returned.

After telling the girls goodnight, he sent Edmund a quick message letting him know he was on his way. Then, he grabbed his car keys and jacket and headed for the garage. As he was backing down the driveway, he felt truly awful for leaving her. He wanted to run back inside and hold her. He knew that was what she really wanted, but she had told him to go and he knew if he didn't she would be upset. She didn't want him to miss out on anything solely because of her. What she didn't realize was that nothing in the world was more important to him that she was. He had decided to listen to her request and leave, thinking maybe she needed the time alone to process things. Though the more he thought about it, the more he questioned whether time alone was really best for either one of them. He knew he hated to be alone these days. It was hard to see any light in the world, as his thoughts were darkened by the sadness and pain looming overhead. He promised himself he would call her later to check in, and he would come home early as well. Maybe a little time alone with the girls would be good for her, or at least he hoped that was true.

* * *

"Hey, man how's it going?" Edmund said as Sully took a seat next to him at the bar.

"Ah fine. Who's winning?" he asked looking towards the television above.

"Dodgers so far. But it's only the third inning," he responded his eyes still locked on the screen.

"What can I getcha?" the bartender asked Sully.

"I'll take a Bud light," he requested.

"Thanks," he replied as he received the bottle.

As soon as a commercial flashed across the screen, Edmund quickly turned his gaze from the television to Sully.

"All right now answer me honestly here. How are things going? I know they aren't fine. Fine is the answer you give someone when you don't want to give a real answer."

"Well I don't know…" Sully replied.

"I think you do know," he countered.

Sully remained silent turning his gaze downward, deciding if he truly wanted to go down this road.

"If you don't want to talk about it that's fine. I'm not going to make you. We can just sit here and enjoy a few beers and watch the game. But if I were in your position, I would have some things I needed to say… Things I wouldn't want to say to Becca," he explained.

Sully nodded in response before saying, "I just don't really know where ta begin that's all."

"Then, let's start with her instead of you. How's Michaela doing?"

"That's just it, I don't really have an answer there. After you guys took the girls out that night and she really opened up ta me about it, she hasn't wanted ta discuss it again. She doesn't deny that she's hurtin' over it and in pain, but she never talks about it or bring it up. Before I drove over here, she was like in a daze. When I asked her about it, she said life has just lost a lot of it's meanin' for her. I just didn't really know what ta say ta that. I told her to pray like I have been…I just don't know how ta fix this…" he trailed off sadly.

"That's just it you can't fix it," Edmund answered gently.

"I know," he replied with sorrow. "I offered ta stay home with her tonight, but she didn't want me to. She told me ta go ahead and meet you."

"That's because she's a truly wonderful wife. She knows you need out of that house just like she does. You have to stop trying to fix it Sully. It can't be fixed. You're doing everything you can. Just continue to be there for her. Ask her what's wrong, and offer to talk it over with her. If she doesn't want to then let it go. People deal with grief in their own way. You opened the door that night by letting her know you could be there for her when she needed it. She'll come to you when she needs to. If she's pulling away let her. This may be something she has to work through in her own mind before you can really work through it together," Edmund explained before tossing a peanut in his mouth.

"Yeah, I guess… I just hate it that she won't confide in me," he confessed.

"There's nothing to confide. You know why she's hurting. There's nothing else to say."

"That's what she keeps sayin'. I guess I just wanna know what she's thinkin'," he admitted.

"No, I don't think that's it at all," Edmund countered.

"What?" he replied in shock.

"You know exactly what she's thinking, because it's the very same thoughts that are present in your mind. You want to share those thoughts with someone. You probably think it's her you want to share them with. And maybe you do want to share them with her. However, I think it would help to talk to someone that isn't as directly affected by this," he clarified.

"That's why ya asked me ta meet you tonight, then?" Sully inquired.

"I knew you needed out of that house, and I think it will help you to say what you really feel out loud to someone that won't be crushed by those thoughts. I'm a father Sully, and I know what I would be thinking. I would be saying, why me? What did I do to deserve this? Why can't I just have a healthy child like everyone else? Now it's your turn," he prompted.

Sully remained silent unsure as to whether he really wanted to share his innermost thoughts on this terrible subject. He hadn't spoken them aloud yet to anyone, or even truly acknowledged that they were present.

"I'm not passing judgment here. This is just between you and me. Tell me how you really feel about this," Edmund stated sincerely.

"I guess I just keep wonderin' if I will be enough for him… He's obviously goin' ta need so much more care and attention then Hannah and Katie, and I wonder if I can be the kind of father a child like that needs. It really scares me… I've read all that information on all the therapy he will need for the rest of his life, and that scares me too. Then, I feel rotten thinkin' about all the things I wanted ta do with him that won't be the same now like playin' baseball, goin' campin', fishin', and buildin' a tree house. I'm not sayin' I can't do any of that, but it won't be the same. Then, I feel guilty for feeling that way, 'cause this ain't his fault either. He didn't ask ta be born this way… And then something Michaela said hit me really hard. She said we shouldn't have ever tried to have another child. That we should have simply been happy with the two healthy ones we have… Maybe she was right…" he divulged sadly.

"See that right there is why you need to talk to someone outside of this about what you're feeling. Michaela is too emotionally involved in this as are you. You both need outside support here. What did you say to her?" he questioned.

"I told her there was nothin' wrong with wanting ta bring another child into the world," he answered glumly.

Edmund nodded in response quickly stating, "Well, that's the truth Sully. And I think deep down you know that. You are just looking for someone to blame, but this isn't anyone's fault."

He purely nodded knowing that Edmund was right. This truly was no one's fault.

"Now back to what you first said. You will be a wonderful father to him Sully. You are already doing everything you can by reading all of that information and preparing for this. Now I know Michaela and the doctors probably painted a very grim picture for you, but what you've got to remember is that many children with this defect have no problems with mental functioning. So, what if your kid is in a wheelchair? Yeah, that isn't great, but he can still become a functioning adult. He can still play baseball; they've got leagues for that. I know this isn't what you dreamed of, and I understand that. But God sent you this child for a reason, and I have never met a better set of parents than you and Michaela.

Sully, you both will take care of this boy like no one else can. You already love him in a way many people wouldn't. I don't know if you read this, but it jumped out to me in that information you gave us. Did you see all that crap about abortion in there? Some parents actually kill their child when they find out their son or daughter won't be picture perfect. Did you and Michaela ever even consider that? Did that thought ever cross your mind for even an instant? Because I don't believe that it ever did. And that right there makes you a better parent that many many others. You never even put that card on the table for discussion," he explained.

"No way! He's my son, and I love him!" he cried.

"That's my point, Sully. That right there. That love is all you need. That love is the magic solution you've been seeking. All you have to do is tap into that love, and you will be able to take care of him," Edmund returned.

"And I guess I'm sort of scared ta share these thoughts with her. I don't wanna throw her back into that panic again. I've never seen her like that Edmund…" he said as his mind flashed back to that night he held her shaking form in his arms.

"Honestly, I wouldn't initiate sharing these things with Michaela. I know that's going to be hard for you, because I know how close you are to her. But you have to remember what stress can do to her Sully. She's the one carrying your son, and stress can cause a whole ton of problems for her, including high blood pressure. If she brings up thoughts like this, of course discuss them with her. But I wouldn't initiate a conversation regarding these thoughts. She may be denying a lot of this and refusing to face it. And that may be better for the time being. She needs to do whatever it takes to keep her and that baby safe. It's got to take so much strength for her just to get up in the morning. I mean you can push these thought away… She's got that child as a constant reminder," he said shaking his head sadly.

"Wow, you're right," Sully uttered. He had never even considered that she could never truly escape this daunting reality.

"It's a little hard not to face what's so blatantly staring you in the face like that…" Edmund continued.

"Yeah…"

"If she's still functioning, then she's doing a better job with this than most."

"Yeah, I guess you're right," he replied.

"Let her deal with it the way she wants to as long as she's still healthy and functioning. Then, I wouldn't worry about it too much. As I said, I think she will come to you when she needs to," Edmund finished with a small smile.

"Thanks Edmund," he returned.

"Of course. Anything else circling through your mind?" he ventured.

"No, not really other than how in the world we are goin' ta tell Hannah and Katie about this…" he stammered.

"You're not. Don't say anything to them. They won't understand, and it'll just confuse and upset them," he urged.

"Well, I'm worried they're goin' ta start askin' about Michaela. She's been really withdrawn and out-to-lunch so to speak most of the time," Sully explained.

"Wait for them to come to you and ask. Then, we'll figure out a way to tell them exactly what they need to know and nothing more. Until then don't say anything," he recommended.

"What about her parents?" Sully wondered aloud.

"You mean she still hasn't told them?" Edmund replied in surprise.

"Not that I know of," he answered.

"Man, it's been two weeks since you found out," he uttered in disbelief.

"I know."

"Well that one you need to bring up with her. You know they will go crazy when they find out neither of you told them all this time," Edmund advised.

"Yeah, but I'm worried about the added stress that will cause," he admitted.

"Hmmm yeah… Especially with that mother they've got… All right how about I talk to Becca and ask her to mention it to Michaela? If she seems bent out of shape Becca will know when to back off, and then she can always call and drop the news and hang up," Edmund suggested with a smile.

"Oh, thanks. Then, all the calls will be thrown my way," Sully responded rolling his eyes slightly.

"True. All right, then I'll let you know what happens after Becca talks to her, and we can go from there," he proposed.

"Thanks man," Sully returned.

"Yeah, sure," Edmund answered with a friendly smile.

"I don't know how to thank you for everything…" he began.

"Buy me another beer and we're good," Edmund quickly retorted.

"Alright then," Sully said with a smile as both turned their eyes back to the baseball game.

He knew that very moment he couldn't have been happier about his decision to meet Edmund. It helped tremendously to be able to confide in someone. Sure, he wanted that someone to be Michaela, but Edmund was right. He had to realize that any conversations on this topic that she herself didn't initiate could definitely be considered stressful. The last thing he wanted to do was add to the incredible amount of stress she was already feeling. If confiding in Edmund would help relieve some of his anxiety, then there really wasn't any harm in it. And maybe one day soon she would instigate a discussion on the terrible subject, allowing him to share his feelings with her. But until then he would have to rely on close friends instead.

* * *

**September 9****th****, 2017 **

"Hannah, let Addie sit in the middle so I can sit by her too," Katie whined.

"Hannah, listen to your sister please," Sully requested and Hannah regretfully moved over letting Addison take her seat.

"Do you need any help man?" Edmund questioned as Sully began pouring various ingredients into several large metal bowls.

"No, I think I got it. Thanks though," he returned.

Edmund subtly gestured towards Michaela with a nod of his head, and Sully simply shrugged slightly knowing exactly to what he was referring. While the girls and Tristan sat at the kitchen table anxiously awaiting Sully's arrival with the ingredients required to make pizza, Michaela sat across from Edmund completely removed from the world around her. With her elbows propped up on the table holding her chin, she was physically present, however she was entirely disengaged mentally. He had noticed her aloofness for the last several days, but it had never been this extreme. Even Edmund had noticed within a matter of minutes that she wasn't interacting with the children the way she normally would have.

As soon as Rebecca stepped foot in the kitchen, she noticed what both men were not so subtly stealing glances at. Without saying a word she walked to Michaela's side, and wrapped her arms around her gently.

"Come on," she said softly pulling her sister to her feet.

As she gently guided Michaela out of the kitchen, she stopped for a brief moment in front of Sully. Then, she said motioning towards Michaela, "I've got this."

"Can you take care of _that?_" she asked gesturing towards the four eager children at the table.

"Yeah, Edmund and I will take care of it," he answered glancing with a very worried look at the very lost expression on his wife's face.

"Don't worry," she said softly before guiding Michaela out of the room and down the stairs to their finished basement.

After they both sat down on the leather couch, Rebecca turned to face Michaela directly.

"Michaela, look at me," she requested.

"What?" she said softly.

"What's going on here?" she probed.

"I don't know…" she stammered. "I just fell so… so… empty."

"All right. Why do you feel that way?" she inquired hoping to get more out of her.

"I just can't seem to feel happy anymore," she confessed.

"This is about your son?"

"Yes…I guess… I don't really know anymore," she admitted reluctantly.

"Michaela, have you told Mother or Father about this?" Rebecca questioned.

"No…" she stammered trying to hold back tears.

"And why not? I mean I know why you might not want to tell Mother, but you and Father have always been so close. You don't think talking to him about this would help you?"

"No," she responded simply.

"Honey, you're going to have to give me more of an answer then that. You're not off the hook that easily," Rebecca stated firmly.

"I don't want to talk this into the ground. And that's exactly what he'll want to do. I don't want to rattle off endless statistics. And I don't want to hear about treatment options. I don't need another doctor," she declared.

"Well maybe he can just be your father and not a doctor," Rebecca suggested.

"You and I both know he doesn't know how to do that. And Mother will just give me a guilt trip about not making the girls suffer for this. I feel badly enough about that already. I don't need to hear it from her constantly," she returned.

"Michaela, first of all you have nothing to feel guilty about. You are doing a terrific job of being there for the girls. Secondly, I think you are being unfair here. You are trying to anticipate their reactions to such terrible news, and I think you are very wrong here. They would want to know about this to support you. I really think you need to tell them…" she advised.

"No. Can't you understand that I don't want to discuss it any further? It's already on my mind twenty-four hours a day as it is. I don't need any added conversations about it. I just want to try to stay somewhat put together and happy for the girls. I don't want them to remember that when their mother was pregnant with their baby brother she was sad and cried constantly," she confessed as a tear fell from her eye.

"Do you want me to tell them then? I'll talk to them about discussing this with you only if you choose to," she offered gently.

"No, don't do that," she said forcefully. "I mean it, don't. They won't listen to you, and honestly I don't want to deal with them on this. Promise me you won't say anything to them Becca. Promise me," she requested.

Rebecca let a deep sigh escape her lips, highly frustrated by her sister's request, but knowing she didn't have any other choice but to comply. "All right I promise," she said softly.

"Thank you," Michaela returned.

"Now what are we going to do about the way you feel?" Rebecca questioned.

"What?"

"You said you feel empty," she said repeating Michaela's words from earlier.

"Yeah, I do. But there's nothing we can do. The one thing that will change that can't possibly happen. I just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other. Hopefully it will get better," she answered with a half smile.

"Honey, maybe you need to talk to someone," Rebecca proposed.

"And what's that suppose to mean?" she bit back.

"There are professionals that deal specifically with parents that have an unborn child with a birth defect. It may help to talk about it."

"Becca, I just told you talking is the last thing I want or need. Honestly, I just need you guys to keep planning things like you did tonight. Force me to participate. That's what I need. I don't need to talk. I just need to be around other people that aren't unhappy all the time."

"Okay… It's just that I'm really worried about you," Rebecca returned placing her hand gently on top of Michaela's.

"I know, but it's nothing to be worried about. Yes, I'm down, but I'll eventually move past it," she said with a voice exhibiting a little more confidence.

"All right," she said softly.

"Can we go back upstairs? I'm sure the kitchen is a disaster by now," Michaela said flashing a slight smile.

"Oh, I'm sure you're right," she said with a small laugh.

As soon as they set foot back in the kitchen, Sully waited for Michaela to turn her gaze towards the children. Then, after nodding in Rebecca's direction, he quickly stated, "Hey, Edmund I'm goin' outside ta grab a couple of beers. You got this covered?"

"Yeah, I'm good," he replied walking a few additional dishes to the sink.

Rebecca quickly caught onto Sully's plan and opened the sliding glass door onto the deck before Michaela even noticed she was gone.

"So, what did she say?" he probed.

"I'm really worried about her, Sully. She said she feels empty inside, and she can't seem to feel happy anymore," she expressed with tears in her eyes.

"She said that?" he returned as his heart crashed to the floor.

"Yes…"

"I just don't know what ta do anymore," he mumbled.

Rebecca pulled him in close wrapping her arms around him tightly. He knew she was at a loss for what to do just as he was. He hated this helpless feeling. He wished more than anything that he knew what to do here, but honestly he was downright lost.

"She won't tell our parents either. She made every excuse in the book for that one," she finally said breaking the silence.

"See I knew she would do that. I got ta thinkin' about this last night. She has yet ta admit to anyone that our son has spina bifida. Everyone that knows has been told by me, or works in the hospital and knows because she allowed James or Allison ta tell them."

"So, she hasn't spoken it aloud to anyone?" Rebecca inquired.

"No one," he returned.

"That's a form of denial."

"That's what I was worried about. I don't know what to do anymore… I really don't…" he stammered.

"Maybe you should talk to James," she suggested.

"I thought about it, but honestly I think that will do more harm than good. Even if he offers some solution or help, she's goin' ta have to agree ta it. Then, she'll know I went behind her back and asked for his help, and that won't end well. She really won't trust me or confide in me then," he explained.

"Yeah, you're right. I guess just keep an eye on her for now," she said with sorrow.

"Alright. I guess that's all I can do," he replied in despair.

"She told me she wanted everyone to keep forcing her to engage in activities like the pizza party tonight. So, maybe just keep planning things with the girls? Make sure she takes part in them?" she recommended.

"Okay, I can do that," he said with a small nod.

"And just pray that God helps her."

"I will. I have been since we heard this awful news," he returned.

She merely nodded and headed back inside. After grabbing a few beers from the cooler, he glanced through the glass doors watching as she helped Katie place several slices of pepperoni on her tiny pizza. Although she was going through the motions, he knew her heart wasn't there. He had to find a way to get her heart back. He didn't know how he would do it, but he knew he had to find a way. Because without her heart she wasn't the woman he was in love with.


	13. Chapter 13

**Ch.13**

**September 10****th****, 2017**

She allowed her eyes to flutter open only to see him sitting directly beside her. She had felt him nudging her softly urging her to wake, but she had tried to ignore it wishing he would simply just leave her in bed. She knew better than that however. He was bound to make sure she couldn't hide from the world, and to be honest she hated him for it at times.

"Hey," he said softly upon seeing her eyes open. "You goin' ta church with us?"

She simply shook her head 'no', and shut her eyes again.

"Michaela, are ya really that tired? I'm really worried about ya here…" he trailed off waiting for her to respond.

"You've been really out of it lately, and it's startin' ta scare me. I talked to Becca about it yesterday, and she said ya told her you needed us ta make you do things sometimes. So, do I need to make ya come with us?" he questioned softly as he placed his hand gently onto her arm.

"I don't want to go with you… I just want to be left alone," she muttered softly with her eyes still shut tightly.

"I'm not goin' ta simply leave you alone. If ya wanted someone that would ignore you, then ya married the wrong man. And will ya please tell me why ya don't want to go?"

She sighed softly knowing she had to finally be honest with him. She didn't really want to put these kind of thoughts on the table, but she couldn't keep them inside any longer.

"I don't want to go because I can't find the strength to make myself go anymore… I know this is a horrible thing to say, and it's even worse that I feel it inside, but I won't hide it from you any longer. Going to church has truly lost it's meaning for me. I feel awful saying that aloud, but it's the way I really feel inside. This is God's fault. I've begged Him to take this back. I've begged Him to make it not so, but He won't change a thing. What good does it do to force myself to pray for something I know will never happen?" she cried as the tears streamed down her face.

"You can't look at it like that," he said softly as he tenderly stroked her cheek.

"What?" she replied in confusion.

She had expected him to be totally shocked by what she had said and even possibly offended. Instead he seemed to be perfectly calm and composed.

"You can't let something like this shake your faith to the core. Ya can't let this affect what ya ultimately believe in. If you let this affect your faith, then ya really have lost everything…." he explained.

"I don't know how not to let it…"

"You don't stop believin' and you don't stop prayin', ever."

"I don't know how to deal with the pain, and more importantly I don't want to deal with it. I don't understand why this is happening…" she sobbed in despair.

He lay down directly beside her and pulled her deep into his arms saying softly, "I don't understand why it has ta happen either. They say that every tragedy you experience brings ya closer to God."

"I don't feel closer… I feel further away…" she returned.

"That's 'cause you're pullin' away. Michaela, ya can't possibly understand everything that happens in life. Sometimes there are no reasons for why terrible things have ta happen. I know I racked my brain like crazy all those years ago wonderin' why you had to be in a coma…Why we had ta be in that intersection at that moment in time…Why we left the party at the exact time we did… Why I made you that terrible promise… Why it seemed that God needed ya more than I did. Then, I realized that those were all questions to which I would never have the answers," he explained compassionately.

"Okay…I just don't understand why He would allow us to suffer like this… Why He would want our child to suffer…" she returned softly.

"He doesn't want ya to suffer. Sufferin' and pain are a part of life. They are what separate those who have faith when all is right with their world from those who have true devotion- faith that doesn't waiver even in times of tragedy and loss… he said firmly.

"You're right… and I know that. But it doesn't make it any easier…"

"Come on, I'll help ya get ready. I promise that going ta church will make ya feel better if you truly let it. It helped me more than I can ever really explain when I thought you would never come back to me…" he trailed off his eyes clouded over with painful memories.

He sat up swiftly pulling her with him. Then, after climbing out of bed, he scooped her into his arms and carried her over to the vanity near the closet.

"Alright, you work on your makeup 'cause there's no way I'll be any good at that," he explained while he searched through the closet.

She willingly complied and for the first time in days she felt a legitimate smile creeping onto her face. It wasn't a forced smile, but one from the bottom of her heart.

"Here I like this dress. Want ta wear this one?" he questioned holding up a black jersey knit dress.

"You don't have to do this you know. I can dress myself," she returned softly.

"I know ya can. But you're having a hard time summonin' the strength ta do it, so let me help you," he said with a small smile.

She nodded and smiled slightly in return not wanting to openly admit that she actually loved that he cared for her like this. Most men would have closed the door and left, if their wives had asked to be left alone. And they definitely would have given up after she insisted that she didn't want to go. But he cared for her too much, and that's really all there was to it. He thought it would help her to go to church, and he was going to do absolutely everything he needed to in order to ensure that she went.

He grabbed the silver handled brush from in front of her, and as she traced the tube of lipstick across her lips, he began running the brush through her hair. She smiled at him through the mirror, and he affectionately returned the gesture.

As soon as he set the brush back down, she turned around to face him gently tugging on his hand encouraging him to crouch down to her level. When he was face to face with her, she wrapped her arms around his neck saying softly, "I love the way you love me. I truly don't deserve you."

"Hey, that's not true. Did you forget how much I begged for a miracle all those years ago? I'm nothin' without you sweetheart. The man standing in front of you is a product of your love," he said before placing a gentle kiss on her newly bright pink lips.

"I love you so much," she whispered as he held her close.

"I love you too. Don't worry I promise you we will get through this together," he returned as he prayed with all of his heart that things truly would get better.

* * *

**September 14****th****, 2017 **

He glanced over at his phone vibrating on the wooden desktop. He didn't immediately recognize the phone number, but he often received calls during working hours from unfamiliar numbers. However, they usually dialed his office phone not his cell phone. And this number had the same first three digits as Michaela's number at the hospital…

"Hello?" he said with a mixture of curiosity and concern.

"Hi, Sully?" the voice on the other line questioned.

"Yeah?"

"This is Charlotte…" she began unsure of how to start this conversation.

"Is everything okay? Did something happen ta Michaela?" he questioned in concern.

In all the years he had known Charlotte, she had never called him personally, especially not in the middle of the workday. Something had to be very wrong….

"No, it's not that. There's just something really important I wanted to talk to you about," she explained quickly.

"Oh, okay. Go ahead," he urged as his heart rate returned to normal.

"Well as I'm sure you know, Michaela didn't come into work again today."

"What?" he replied completely baffled.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize that you didn't know…" she uttered.

"Did she call in and tell ya she wasn't comin' in? Or did she just not show up? 'Cause if that's the case there might be something seriously wrong."

"No, she called us. She said she wasn't feeling well," she admitted.

"She seemed fine this morning… She didn't say anything about not feeling good," he replied trying to make sense of what he was hearing.

"What about yesterday?"

"Yesterday?" he questioned clearly bewildered.

"She didn't come in yesterday either. In fact she hasn't been in all week…"

"That's not possible…" he uttered totally confused. "Are you sure?"

"I'm completely sure. That's actually why I called you…"

"When was the last time she came into work?" he asked in alarm.

"Last Friday. And she left mid-afternoon," she confessed.

"I don't understand that… She's been leavin' in the morning for work… She told me everything was fine…" he stammered.

"Well that's the real reason I called. Several of the staff members at the hospital and myself are highly concerned about her… Missing this many days of work is highly unusual for her. We were all very concerned, especially with her pregnancy…"

"Where do ya think she's been goin' then if it wasn't in ta work? Did she give you any clue?" he asked desperate for answers.

"Unfortunately, I have no idea… Maybe she's simply staying at home?" she suggested.

"Yeah, maybe…" he returned hoping this was the case.

"Sully, I encourage you to keep a close eye on her," she recommended.

"What?"

"Have you noticed that she seems to be withdrawn and unusually reserved?" she expanded.

"Yeah…" he answered in almost a whisper.

"Well I'm just wondering if she may be clinically depressed," she speculated.

"Sully?" she questioned after several minutes of silence.

"Yeah, I'm still here…" he replied.

"Watch her very closely. If you notice that she's having difficulty concentrating, is extremely irritable, has trouble sleeping, or has extreme fatigue it's very possible that she may need psychological help… We are all aware of the condition of your unborn child. This may have sent her spiraling downward, and if you don't get her the help that she needs both her and the baby will suffer immensely," she said compassionately.

"Yeah, I'll take care of it. Thanks Charlotte. I didn't know…" he answered in remorse.

"It's often very hard to see when you are so close… And especially with women that are pregnant. The signs of depression are the same as many typical pregnancy symptoms," she offered gently.

"Yeah…"

"Sully, whatever you do please don't blame yourself. I know it's hard not to, but this is in no way your fault. You had absolutely no way of knowing this would be the road she would take… Honestly, the best thing to do now if you think there is even a slight chance she may be depressed is to seek help. That's what those professionals are there for," she said gently.

"Thanks again Charlotte. I'll take care of her," he repeated again.

"I know you will Sully. If there's anything I can do please don't hesitate to ask."

"Do you have any names of someone she could see?" he asked knowing he had no idea where to start.

"I'll do you one better. Give me a call after you have talked to her, and I'll get you an appointment," she returned.

"Thanks again Charlotte. Michaela's really lucky ta have a friend like you."

"She's a wonderful friend, and I'm worried to death about her. I just want her to make it through this in one piece."

"Me too," he answered softly.

After saying 'goodbye' he hung up the phone, and buried his head in his hands. How could this have happened? She'd been exhibiting the signs for quite some time now. _Sleeping all the time… Confiding in Becca that she felt empty inside and couldn't seem to feel happy anymore… Her aloof and distant attitude… Her comment to him about life loosing it's meaning… She said she couldn't summon the strength to get up and go to church…_ It had all been there staring him in the face, and he had refused to see it. And now she wasn't going in to work… She was slipping away from him, and he hadn't even tried to stop it.

He didn't want to admit it, but he was angry with her for lying to him. If she had told him she wasn't going to work, he probably would have noticed something was terribly wrong. And she had never lied to him… ever. They didn't lie to each other; it was one of the things that made their relationship so strong. Why did she feel that she couldn't confide this in him? Tell him that she couldn't find the strength to go in to work? Why was she hiding it from him? And more importantly how was he going to convince her that she needed some serious help here?… If she didn't get some help soon, as Charlotte had said she and the baby would suffer.

He wanted to call her right that very second and ask her why she had been deceiving him for a week now. He longed to know why she felt that she needed to hide things from him. But he knew confronting her about this over the phone wasn't a good idea at all. No, he needed to do this in person. She was liable to put up a wall anyhow, and deny that she had a serious problem. It would be too easy for her to brush off his concerns over the phone. This had to be done in person. He contemplated leaving the office immediately, but he truthfully didn't even know where she was at the moment. If he called her, she was likely to lie about it. It was possible that she was at home, but he didn't know that for sure. No, he needed to stick it out until the end of the day and confront her this evening. It would give him a chance to cool down about it as well. The last thing she wanted or needed was to be screamed at about this. He had to remember that no matter what happened, he had to keep his anger in check.

* * *

After taking the pins out of her hair, and changing into a t-shirt in jeans she climbed back into bed for the fourth day this week. She knew she shouldn't be doing this again, but the truth was she couldn't stop herself. Sully had yet to find out that she wasn't going in to work, and she just felt so hopeless and lost. Making herself do anything other than take care of the girls seemed pointless. She had failed multiple times to convince herself that she needed to go into work. They hadn't seemed to have a problem with her taking some time off, and this was the only time she really had alone. It was so easy to simply get dressed in the morning as usual and take the girls to daycare. Then, instead of driving to the hospital, she simply drove home. Sully would pick up the girls after work and return home not suspecting a thing. She could truly spend the day hiding from the world, and by not telling anyone the real truth no one came looking for her either.

She pulled the blankets over her head retreating to the dark cave that had now become the place where she spent her days. As the familiar tears fell down her cheeks she tried to simply take deep breaths, knowing that sleep would soon come if she remained calm. And as soon as she fell asleep the world would fade away. All the pain and agony wouldn't exist…until she was forced to wake up and rejoin the real world again. But for now she was safe from the pain in her world of unconsciousness.

* * *

As soon as she heard the familiar chime of the house phone, she immediately pulled herself out of semi-consciousness and ran to answer it. On her way into the living room, she could feel her heart racing as the panic inside overwhelmed her. _No one ever calls this number unless it's a true emergency… _When her hand touched the ivory plastic, she bit down hard on her lip deathly afraid of the news she would soon receive.

"Hello?" she answered softly, deeply dreading the response.

"Hi, is this Mrs. Sully?"

"Yes…" she replied in a dazed tone.

"I'm one of the teachers down at the Bright Horizon's Childcare Center…" the young woman began.

As soon as she heard the words ring through her ears, she began to panic. She had promised Sully she would pick them up tonight… She had completely and totally forgotten all about it. She immediately glanced over at the clock, and her heart sank as in displayed 6:10. The center closed at six, and she was beyond late. That was the reason for the phone call.

"I'm just calling to let you know that Hannah and Katie are still here. I don't know if there was a mix up on who exactly was supposed to pick them up tonight. They both said their mother was going to…"

"Yes, I'm terribly sorry. Tell them I'll be there in about ten minutes. I do apologize we've never made this mistake before. I feel awful," she said with remorse.

"Oh, don't worry about it this happens quite often. I do have to let you know there is a late fee associated with every minute your children are here after six o'clock…" she stammered clearly uncomfortable divulging this policy.

"Oh, don't worry about that, I'm aware of the policy. I just feel awful about forcing you to stay late…" she stated with regret.

"No, it's really not a problem. I'll tell them you're on your way," she spoke cheerfully.

"Thank you," she replied before hanging up the receiver. She quickly threw on a pair of tennis shoes, grabbed her phone and keys, and ran out the door.

* * *

"Hello?" he spoke into the phone with a mixture of uncertainty and dismay.

"Mr. Sully?" the voice questioned.

"Yeah…" he returned, his fear growing by the second.

"I'm one of the teachers down at the Bright Horizon's Childcare Center…" she began. "Oh, can you hang on one second?"

The phone became silent before he even had a chance to respond. Why in the world was the girl's daycare center calling him after hours? He had a terrible feeling in the pit of his stomach that something was seriously wrong here…

"Nevermind, I'm sorry to have troubled you. We were able to get a hold of your wife," she explained.

"What's goin' on here?" he questioned.

"Oh, your girls are still here. They told us that their mother was supposed to pick them up, but we were unable to get a hold of her on her cell phone. Then, my co-worker just talked to her on your home phone, and she's on her way down here now. She said she would be here in about ten minutes, so there's nothing to worry about," she responded in a cheerful tone.

"Your center closed over ten minutes ago, and my girls are still there?" he inquired his anger growing by the second.

"Yes, but I'm sure there was just a mix up somewhere. But as I said your wife is on her way over right now, so it's not a big deal," she stated with a casual tone.

"Are the girls freakin' out? I don't understand why they are still there…"

"Honestly, I don't know exactly what happened. But I can assure you that both Hannah and Katie are fine. They're playing Hi-Ho-Cherry-O as we speak with big grins on their faces. Trust me there's nothing to worry about here. We just have to get a hold of one parent after the children are here over ten minutes past our closing time," she explained gently.

"Okay, thanks for letting me know. If she's not there in fifteen minutes, please give me a call back," he requested.

"No problem," she responded politely.

He thanked her and quickly snapped his phone shut, slamming it down on the desk. He had never, ever felt this kind of anger towards her before…._ ever_. She had promised she would pick them up. After all, he now knew she had spent the day at home, so why in the world wasn't she there on time?

His heart ached at the thought of Hannah or Katie worrying that their mother and father had forgotten about them. Sometimes when he came to pick up his girls, he was cutting it close with regards to closing time. There were always those few children with sad, longing faces, staring out the window wondering why in the world their mothers and fathers still weren't there. He hated to see those looks on the face of any child. And now to think his daughters had sat there hour after hour wondering why she wasn't there, tore him apart inside.

This simply wasn't acceptable. He could tolerate the aloofness, the fatigue, the lack of motivate, and even the lies. But he simply couldn't tolerate her behavior affecting his daughters like this… No, this had to be dealt with now… He couldn't and he wouldn't allow her to hurt their daughters like this. He quickly packed up his desk and grabbed his keys. He didn't care if he was supposed to stay late tonight. He had to get home this minute. He wasn't going to wait a minute longer to confront her about this.

* * *

"Mommy!" Katie shouted as she ran into her mother's arms. "Where were you?" she questioned.

"I'll explain it to you in the car honey. Right now these wonderful teachers would like to go home. Hurry and grab your backpack," she requested.

Hannah approached her slowly with a reserved look on her face.

"Hannah, sweetheart…" she began before Hannah quickly interrupted.

"Where were you? Why are you late? All of our friends left a long time ago." she questioned in anger.

"Hannah, honey I promise to explain everything to you in the car. Please get your backpack," she asked knowing Hannah wasn't going to give her the warm reception Katie had.

Although Hannah was still upset, she respectfully complied with her mother's request and went to retrieve her backpack.

"I want to apologize again. I'm really sorry I'm so late. If you talk to Hannah and Katie's classroom teachers, they will tell you I'm never late," she said apologetically.

"Honestly, this really does happen quite frequently. That's actually why we both volunteer to be the two workers that stay late from 5:30-6. We get compensated for the time after six that we are here. It really isn't a problem. It's not something to beat yourself up over, especially if this is the first time it's ever happened," she said with a friendly smile.

"Thank you I truly do appreciate your understanding," Michaela returned reciprocating the smile.

"It's no problem. When are you due?" she questioned.

"Oh, early January," she returned softly.

The young girl responded with a somewhat puzzled smile. She had never heard anyone answer that question in such a reserved tone. Just as she was about to comment further, Katie bounced up to Michaela with a big grin on her face.

"I told Hannah you would be here. She was worried that Daddy would have to come get us," she explained as Michaela picked her up gently.

"I'm so sorry I was late," she returned again placing a kiss on Katie's cheek.

"It's okay Mommy," she said lovingly as she wrapped her arms tightly around her mother's neck.

Hannah soon arrived at Michaela's side, though she refused to initiate any conversation with her mother.

"Are you ready Hannah?" she questioned softly.

"Yes…" she answered politely.

"Thanks again," she said towards both young girls.

"Sure," they both replied before waving 'goodbye 'to both Hannah and Katie.

"So, why were you late?" Hannah asked again as they walked towards the car.

"Honey, I'm so very sorry. I fell asleep and lost track of time," she said honestly.

"I thought you always come get us right after work?" she asked.

"Usually I do. But today I got off work early, so I went home for a while first," she returned.

"I don't understand. Why didn't you come and pick us up as soon as you left work? Why would it matter if it was early?"

Hannah was simply too smart for her own good sometimes. She didn't want to admit to her daughter that she had stayed home the entire day. If Hannah and Katie knew there was no question that Sully would find out.

"I finished with work so early that you were still in school Hannah. And I didn't want to pick up Katie if I had to come back and get you later," she said thinking quickly on her feet.

"Oh," she returned softly.

"Hannah, sweetie I'm very sorry," she said as she unlocked the door and placed Katie down on the pavement.

Then, she bent down to her daughter's level, and after taking both of her tiny hands into her own, she looked deep into her daughter's blue eyes.

"Hannah, I know that you like to think that grownups don't make mistakes. But we do sweetheart. I'm not always perfect. Sometimes I do things wrong just like Katie and you do. I'm very sorry I wasn't here on time to pick you up. I'm sure you were very worried. I promise you that I will not let it happen again unless there is a real emergency," she expressed sincerely.

"All right," she said nodding softly as she wrapped her arms around her mother's neck.

Michaela pulled her in close, and Katie quickly joined in the embrace.

"I love you both so very much. I don't want you to ever forget that," she said lovingly.

"I love you, too," Hannah returned, quickly followed by Katie.

Then, all three girls piled into the car and finally headed home for the evening. She was relieved that she had managed to patch things up with Hannah, but she knew Sully wouldn't be quite as forgiving. She still hadn't figured out exactly what she was going to tell him. Obviously, the girls alone would tell him she'd been late. But how would she explain why without telling him the truth?

She wouldn't blatantly lie to him as she had to Hannah. She had told Hannah that story to protect her from the truth of the matter. However, she couldn't lie to Sully like that. Sure, she hadn't told him she had been staying home from work for a week, but she had never lied about it. She simply hadn't told him. She tried racking her mind for a solution, but she quickly realized the only feasible one was the truth. She knew it wouldn't be pleasant, but she obviously couldn't keep this from him any longer. She had to tell him the truth once and for all.

* * *

"Michaela!" he said demanding her attention in a fuming tone as he stormed into their bedroom. It was a tone he never used with her, ever.

"What?" she replied sitting up slightly in bed with a guilty look on her face.

He glanced at her with a cross look in his eyes. _She looked so meek…Almost like a small child that knew they were in very deep trouble._

"You forgot ta pick up the girls?" he yelled in anger.

"I'm sorry Sully," she sobbed.

"I don't understand how ya could forget ta pick them up. Can you explain ta me how you leave your own children at a daycare center after it's closed? You do know what they have ta do if a parent doesn't answer the phone or show up within ten minutes? They have ta call the police, Michaela. It's considered child abandonment! What if I hadn't answered my phone, huh? I guess you finally decided ta come back to earth and answer yours, so I guess I should consider myself lucky," he bitterly retorted.

"It was a mistake, and it's not that big of a deal. It happens to many many other parents," she responded in defense.

"We aren't other parents, Michaela! I really don't get how ya could forget about them!" he shouted.

He knew he should walk away now. If he didn't he was going to say or do something he would regret. But he couldn't walk away this time. He couldn't ignore this anymore; he simply couldn't look the other way on this one.

"I don't know what to say anymore…" she stammered.

"I got a phone call from Charlotte this morning," he said trying to hold back his anger that she had been lying to him for days.

"Oh?" she said softly, knowing full well he now knew what she had been doing all week.

"You haven't been ta work all week? Where have you been then? Why did ya lie to me all week long? Or have ya been doing this even longer?" he demanded to know.

"No, I haven't been to work all week. I can't… I just can't get out of bed every day. It just takes too much strength. Strength I don't have anymore…" she stuttered through tears.

"So, you've been here lyin' in bed all day for the past week?" he questioned in shock.

"Yes…" she whispered.

"Why did you lie ta me?" he asked with the hurt he felt deep inside blazing in his eyes.

"I didn't lie…" she uttered softly.

"A lie by omission is still a lie Michaela, and you know that," he said shaking his head slightly. "I thought our relationship was stronger than that…"

"I'm sorry… I just don't know how to do anything right anymore. I just wanted to be left alone, and I knew you wouldn't allow me to just lie in bed all day."

"Alright, but what I still don't understand is how ya could literally lie in bed all day, and it never occurred to ya ta look at the clock!" he cried.

She just shrugged her shoulders completely at a loss as to how to respond to his rage. She had never seen him this upset with her before. Or this upset at all for that matter…

"This isn't you. Can't ya see that? The Michaela I know never lied to me. And she _never_ ever forgot her children!" he stated in complete frustration.

"What do you want me to say? That I'm not a good mother? I don't know what you want from me anymore…" she said as the tears fell from her eyes.

The minute those words left her lips he began to regret his angry remarks. Maybe he had overreacted here.

"I'm not sayin' ya aren't a good mother. Of course you are. What I'm sayin' is can't ya see that there is something seriously wrong here? This isn't simply dealing with what has happened, and it's not simply being upset or down about it. Months ago ya never would have laid in bed all day and sent the girls ta daycare. And if ya did, you certainly would have remembered ta pick them up. I think I've been patient with this behavior of yours. I really have. I hoped that with support, and maybe some space at times, you would find a way ta accept this on your own. But obviously that isn't goin' ta happen," he stated sadly.

"What are you saying?" she replied softly afraid of his answer.

"I'm sayin' that I think ya need help Michaela. Help that I can't give you," he said with despair in his eyes.

"What?" she responded unsure what he was talking about.

"I think you need ta talk to someone. A professional that can help ya with this," he clarified.

"No. Just leave me alone," she cried as she buried her head in her hands sobbing hysterically.

He felt the guilt shoot through him as he saw her so upset. It was very obvious that he had severely overreacted. After taking a seat on the bed beside her, he began rubbing her back gently.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you. I just love you too much ta let ya do this to yourself. I'm not just goin' ta watch ya fall of the face of the earth. I won't let it happen," he said softly.

As he comforted his very heartbroken wife, he knew he had failed her. He had violently overreacted which had only caused her further distress. Not to mention he had allowed her to simply pull away from everyone and everything. Well he knew he couldn't go back in time, but he could solve this now. He knew he needed to call Charlotte first thing in the morning. He was going to get her the help she needed whether she wanted it or not.


	14. Chapter 14

**Ch.14**

**September 15****th****, 2017 **

"Hey," she said softly as she stepped through the doorway.

She soon pulled Sully towards her into a deep hug, forcing him to use all his strength to maintain his composure. He had called her late last night somewhat explaining what had happened yesterday. However, he hadn't been very specific worried that Michaela would overhear the conversation. After a few moments of silence, he pulled back and shut the wooden door tightly, then led the way into the living room.

"Where is she now?" Rebecca whispered softly.

"In bed…" he returned his head hung low.

She gently shook her head knowing they had so much to discuss, however none of it was pleasant.

"So, you said she hasn't been going in to work?" she started unsure where to begin.

"Yeah. She's been lyin' to me about it, too. Never directly sayin' she went ta work, but not lettin' me know she didn't go in. I mean she's been gettin' up and dressed and takin' the girls to daycare, but then she calls in to work. My guess is that she's been comin' home and layin' in bed all day long. At least that's what I got out of her last night. Charlotte called me yesterday at work distraught about it. She told me Michaela was probably clinically depressed. And after she read off the symptoms ta me, I realized she was right… For weeks now she's been slippin' away from me Becca, and I just watched it happen…" he said with remorse.

"Sully, you couldn't possibly have known… I didn't see it either…" she returned gently.

"We should have… All the signs were right there. And those comments she made about not feelin' happy anymore, life not havin' meaning, and feelin' empty inside… They were signs Becca…." he trailed off as his mind went through past conversations.

"Sully, she was grieving… She still is, as are you. It's not important that you didn't see it before. What's important is that you do something about it now," she explained.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. I feel so bad about yellin' at her, though. I really hauled into her Becca. When I got that phone call that Hannah and Katie hadn't been picked up, I was just so angry. Angry that she let the girls down… angry that she lied ta me…. I brought all that anger home and really took it out on her. And really none of this is her fault. Depression is caused by an issue with the chemicals in her brain. I don't think I can ever forgive myself for treatin' her like that… I was just so upset that she'd hurt the girls…" he admitted tears cascading from his blue eyes.

"Have you talked to her about it? Apologized to her?" she asked quietly.

"Of course. After I told her I thought she needed professional help, she told me ta leave her alone. I immediately told her how sorry I was for yellin' at her, but that I wasn't goin' ta allow her to remove herself from the world. I sat with her for over an hour Becca, but all she could do was cry…" he finished in sorrow.

"Sully, sometimes you expect too much out of yourself. It's completely understandable that you would be angry last night. If I was in your position I would have been furious. You apologized for loosing your temper with her, and honestly that's all you can do. I hope you know that she wasn't crying hysterically like that because of anything that you did or didn't do. I think it's clear that she's been in this kind of pain and despair for some time now, she's just been hiding it from us. Granted we knew she was grieving, but we had no idea the extreme pain she was feeling inside. I think that she finally showed you last night after she knew you were aware of the truth. Even if you had come home and wrapped your arms around her, she still would have cried like that. This is an intense kind of sadness in which she literally can no longer feel happiness. She's that far gone."

"She will hardly even respond ta me anymore… The girls keep askin' what in the world is wrong with her, and I just don't know what ta do here," he said helplessly.

"Okay, one step at a time. Did you call Charlotte?" she questioned.

"Yes…" he responded softly.

"Were you able to get her an appointment?"

"Yeah, but it's not 'til Monday, and even that took pullin' some major strings…"

"All right. Now does the hospital know what's going on with her?" she questioned.

"Yeah, Charlotte is really the one that figured it out. I talked to the chief-of-staff this morning, and he told me ta keep her home for as long as I needed," he responded.

She nodded in response before stating, "Can you take Monday off from work?"

"Yeah, I called and told them about all of this and they were real understanding."

"Okay, you're on the right track here," she said with a small smile.

"How in the world are we goin' ta get her in there, though? She's insisting that she doesn't wanna talk ta anyone," he expressed in concern.

"Well, I think we have to physically make her. What time is the appointment?"

"Not 'til 11," he answered quickly.

"Okay, take Katie and Hannah to school as you normally would. Then, I'll come over at about 10:30, and we will literally put her in the car and drive her there," she finished with confidence.

"Ya don't think she'll fight that?" he questioned skeptical of this plan.

"If she really is as bad off as you have been telling me, then she won't have the strength to fight it."

"Michaela? Not have the strength ta fight?" he questioned still doubtful.

"No, I don't think she will have the strength to fight. I think that's the problem. Since when would Michaela ever call in sick to work because she can't get herself out of bed? Remember how much she chomped at the bit to get back after she pulled through that coma? She practically beat down the door. Even when she was on maternity leave with both Hannah and Katie, she couldn't wait to get back to work," she said thoughtfully.

"Yeah…" he answered softly wishing she wasn't so far into such a dark hole.

"Now for the girls. This is a very difficult situation here. I still don't think you should tell them this kind of news. They won't understand it, and it will simply crush them to know that their parents can't solve such a serious problem. However, you do need to sit down and talk to them. She's going to have a long road ahead of her to get out of this dark hole. And she will need everyone, including the girls, to be supportive."

"I just don't know what ta say to them…." he stammered.

"Keep it very simply. Tell them Michaela is going through a really tough time, but that she's going to be just fine. And make sure they know how much she loves them both."

"Alright. This is just goin' ta be so difficult," he admitted.

"It won't be easy, but I don't think you can avoid it any longer. Would you like me to help you talk to them?" she offered.

"Thanks, but I think it would be better if it was just me," he confessed.

"Okay," she said with a nod. "Just know I'm always here if you change your mind."

"What should I do with Michaela in the mean time? Should I just allow her ta stay in bed like that? I guess there really is no makin' her do anything really, but should I encourage that kind of behavior? Or should I attempt ta make her at least function a little?"

"I think you should try to make her function if you can. It won't do her any good to simply enable that type of behavior. I'm not saying you can't be there for her and support her, but I wouldn't baby her. What I mean to say is that you can fix dinner, but tell her she has to join you and the girls in the kitchen to eat it," she said trying to explain her thoughts on the matter.

"Yeah, that sounds right. Do you want ta go see her before ya go? I'm warnin' you though, she's pretty bad off. She's been cryin' all morning since the girls left for school," he said dejectedly.

"Thank you for the warning, but I would like to see her. If that's alright?" she questioned.

"Oh, of course that's alright. You're her sister Becca, ya don't have ta ask that."

She nodded in his direction before departing up the stairs. Halfway up the staircase she stopped and looked at the beautiful portrait on the wall. She smiled at the studio portrait of Michaela, Sully, and the two girls sprawled out barefoot in a field. "Where did that woman go?" she whispered softly to herself as she admired her sister's graceful smile. And as she made her way up the remaining stairs, she knew it was her job to get that woman back no matter what it took.

"Hey 'Kayla," she said sweetly as she sat down next to her sister, delicately grabbing her sister's small hand.

"You haven't called me that since we were children," she said softly.

"I guess I haven't. We all picked up on calling you Mike after father started that," she answered.

"But you still always called me 'Kayla when it was the two of us," she replied with a wistfully smile.

"Hmmm," she answered clearly lost in thoughts of their childhood. "Honey, please be honest with me. How are you? And don't say okay. I know better."

"Not good…" she said with tear-filled eyes.

"Yeah, I can see that," she returned with a small smile, glad that at least Michaela was being honest with her.

"Do you think you can at least take a shower here?" she questioned.

"I guess… Becca it's just so hard to do anything… I just have this dark cloud over me… It's like I feel like I'm trapped in this storm. Everyone else is inside and I'm out here stuck in the rain… alone. And no matter what I do it's never sunny, _ever_. It just rains always…" she tried to explain.

"Come here," she said gently as she pulled her little sister into her arms.

"Sweetheart, you have to let us help you. We want to pull you out of this storm. Now you have to let us. Your husband and your daughters miss you. They are standing at the window watching you stand outside alone, desperately wanting you to come back inside," she returned.

"I want to… I don't know how," she said through tears.

"Well the first step is to make yourself do a few simple tasks every day. I'm not saying you have to go to work, or take the girls to school, or run a thousand errands. All I'm telling you to do for the day is take a shower and get dressed. You can take the whole day if you need to…Do you think you can do that?"

After a few moments of silence, she nodded back in reply.

"All right there you go," she spoke in an encouraging tone. "Do you want me to help you in any way?"

"No, just give me a few minutes…." she answered.

"Okay, I'll come back and check on you in an hour. Please try to take a shower by then. You don't have to dry your hair or curl it. Just simply take a shower. You _can_ do this Michaela," she expressed in a sincere tone.

Michaela nodded in response, and as Rebecca left the room closing the door softly behind her. She took a few deep breaths before leaning against the wall and gently sliding down to the floor. She shut her eyes tight running her hands through her hair in distress. Within a matter of moments, she felt a pair of strong arms surround her.

"She's really bad…" she whispered softly.

"I know…" he returned.

"I hate seeing her like that… My strong, confident, capable sister reduced to that… The girl that excelled at everything she set her mind to growing up, painting, singing, playing the piano, and then surgery…She has to find the strength to merely take a shower… It must be so awful to feel like that… And there isn't anything I can do for her… _Nothing_."

"That's not true Becca. You being here is doing something. She's benefittin' from your support even if she doesn't realize it. And I appreciate your support," he replied.

"I know you do Sully," she spoke gently.

"Well if I didn't have your support, I don't know if I could continue ta take care of her and the girls. You've really been a shining star in this darkness, and I love ya for it," he returned with a smile.

She smiled back a little, feeling slightly better just hearing his kind words.

"Did ya get her to get up?" he inquired softly.

"Possibly. I told her I would check on her in an hour," she answered.

"Alright then. Let's go downstairs and order something to eat."

She nodded and he stood quickly, then offered her his hand and pulled her to her feet. Then, both walked sorrowfully down the carpeted staircase trying to keep their eyes from drifting to the portraits on the wall. Portraits of a happiness that was lost…

As the wooden door clicked shut, the pains of guilt ran through every fiber of her being. She knew it devastated Rebecca and Sully to see her like this. _Becca was right this is probably tearing the girls to shreds… Why can't I stop this? Why can't I just accept this like Sully has and move forward? _The truth was she knew deep down why she couldn't accept it. _You simply can't accept that life isn't a fairytale anymore… _she thought to herself. She then buried her mind in memories of a time when life was perfect. He had said they would be that happy forever… But he was wrong…

* * *

**October 18****th****, 2013**

He gently set the cardboard container and the paper sacks down in the doorway, and swiftly stepped into the empty room. He watched as her hand delicately held the paintbrush, effortlessly adding detail to the tail of the majestic baby unicorn.

"My God…" he whispered softly.

She turned around slightly, gently looking over her left shoulder to see him standing before her. She smiled at him sweetly as he continued to stare at her in awe.

"I can't decide what's more beautiful. This exquisite mural or the woman paintin' it," he said with a warm smile.

"Do you like this one as much as Hannah's?" she asked furrowing her brow slightly as she took a step back to look at it.

"That's such a tough question…" he replied looking from the tiny castle on the horizon to the princess gently caressing the baby unicorn.

"It's absolutely stunning, and it completely takes my breath away. Do I like it as much as Hannah's though… I don't really know. I may like it more. I think the jury is out to lunch on that one."

She flashed him a wide grin, as she set her paintbrush down gently and rushed to his side.

"Whoa, hang on," he said with a laugh removing his jacket and tossing it out into the hall.

"Now can I pull you into my arms?" she said with a sweet grin.

"Ya better," he teased as she wrapped her arms tightly around him.

"Sorry, didn't want ya ta get paint on my jacket," he explained.

"I don't blame you, I am covered in it here," she answered looking up into his sparkling eyes.

"Should Hannah be paintin' on this nice carpet? I'm kinda worried she's not goin' ta keep that on the table," he expressed in concern as Hannah dipped her paintbrush back into the paint splattering it onto a white sheet of paper.

"It's color wonder paint," she said with a laugh.

"What?" he returned with a baffled look.

"It only shows up on that paper. And it doesn't stain rugs," she stated as she glanced over in Hannah's direction.

He nodded in understanding as he watched his sweet daughter dip the brush back into the white paint.

"Pretty soon we'll have two little ones paintin'," he said deep in thought.

"Hmmm. I don't think they'll be paining in that corner, though."

"And why's that?" he questioned.

"Because I wanted to put her crib over there," she explained.

"Looks like a perfect spot," he responded. "Oh, I got something great ta show you. Wait right here."

"Okay," she said with a small laugh as he took off down the hall.

He soon returned with his hands behind his back and a grin on his face.

"Do ya have paint on your hands?" he inquired.

"Yes," she said with a smile.

"Then, go wash them real fast and come back," he requested as he made his way into the room keeping his back facing the wall at all times. He didn't want to take a chance that she might see what was behind his back. That and he knew he couldn't let Hannah see it at all.

"Can I see it now?" she said upon returning into the room.

"Step into the hallway, stick out your hands, and close your eyes," he commanded.

"All right," she said softly before complying with all three of his requests.

He stepped into the hall and took one quick look in Hannah's direction to make sure she was still focused on painting. Then, he pulled the plush animal from behind his back and set it in her outstretched hands.

"Alright, you can open them now."

As soon as her eyes flashed open a wide smile crossed her face as she stared down at the soft unicorn animal with a hot pink horn and wings.

"Oh, it's perfect!" she exclaimed with tears shining in her eyes.

"Yeah I know," he returned softly. "It looks just like the one ya painted for her."

"Where did you find it?" she whispered.

"Just stumbled upon it the other day. I've been lookin' for something like it for a while now. I saw it in a store window I walked past on my lunch break," he explained.

"She'll love it!" she shouted in happiness before wrapping her arms around him and planting a sweet kiss on his lips.

"Careful!" he cautioned. "Don't let Hannah see or this will end up as another one of her toys."

"Oh, you're right. I guess that was the reason for the relocation then?"

"Yep," he replied gently taking the unicorn from her hand. "I'm goin' ta go put this away. I'll be back in about two minutes. I brought the food up here, but we can eat in the kitchen if you want to. It doesn't matter to me."

"Let's eat up here," she grinned.

"Okay," he answered before making his way down the hall.

She gently spread out one of the old sheets she had been using as a painting tarp, although this one didn't have paint on it yet. Taking Hannah by the hand, she led her into the bathroom and washed the transparent paint from her tiny hands. Then, both girls took a seat on the sheet, and she quickly prepared Hannah's dinner for her. Sully soon returned and couldn't help but smile at the sight before him.

"Playin' picnic, huh?" he said affectionately.

"Why not?" she returned as he took a seat next to her.

He smiled over at her as she chewed on the bright red straw in her Styrofoam cup.

"What?" she returned softly as he continued to stare at her. "Do I have something on my face?"

"No," he said with a laugh. "I just think it's cute that you still chew on the straw to your shake that's all."

Her face turned slightly red as she looked down dipping another fry in ketchup.

"I'm serious though. I really do think it's sweet," he said as he placed his hand delicately onto hers.

"You can always make me smile, you know that?" she said as she nudged him playfully.

"I can always make ya blush, too," he responded with a sly grin.

"Yes, that too," she agreed as he moved closer beside her, wrapping his arm around her gently.

"I hope we are always this happy," she said softly looking around the empty room that would one day belong to the daughter inside of her.

"There's no reason that we won't be," he said planting a soft kiss on her lips.

* * *

**September 16****th****, 2017 **

"Daddy?" Hannah asked softly as she strung another bead onto her necklace.

"Yeah, sweetheart?" he returned as he brought over another plastic tub of beads and set it on the kitchen table.

"Can I ask you something?" she wondered setting her necklace gently onto the table.

"Anything. You know that," he said with a smile as he took a seat next to her.

"Why doesn't Mommy want to do things with us anymore? Why does she spend so much time in bed?" she questioned with sadness in her blue eyes.

"Oh, honey…" he began as he pulled her onto his lap.

He looked across the table to see Katie slightly glimpse up from her necklace, clearly listening to the conversation as well. He knew he finally had to discuss this situation with them. The time had finally come when he couldn't put this on the backburner for any longer. It broke his heart to hear his daughter ask why her mother didn't want to spend time with her anymore.

"Hannah, your Mommy loves both you and Katie more than anything else in the world. She's just goin' through a really hard time right now. Even grownups sometimes have bad days," he said gently.

"Mommy has had a lot of bad days then," Katie chimed in still stringing the brightly colored beads onto the leather string.

"I feel sorry for her…" Hannah admitted sadly.

"Girls, I promise ya, she will get better. You're right, she has had a lot of bad days. That means she should have some good ones comin' her way. I just want ya both ta know that your Mommy loves you so very much, and there's nothin' she enjoys more then spendin' time with the two of you."

"Is that why she cries a lot now? Because she's been having bad days?" Hannah wondered aloud.

"Yeah. It's just like when you have a bad day at school, and ya need to come home and cry 'cause it helps ya get over your sadness," he tried to explain.

"Mommy always holds me when I cry. Maybe we should hold her…" Hannah ventured.

"I think she would like it if ya hugged her a lot when she's cryin'. That's a good idea Hannah. Just tell her you love her. Doesn't that make you feel better when we tell ya that we love you no matter what?"

"Yeah, it does…" Hannah returned deep in thought.

"Well tell her you love her and pray for her. God can help send some good days her way," he encouraged.

"Okay, Daddy," Katie returned still preoccupied with the colorful beads spilled across the table's surface.

Hannah looked up into Sully's blue eyes and smiled.

"That's a good idea Daddy. I'll pray for her. And I think you should hold her. She always smiles real big when you hug her," she returned thinking of how happy her parents had always been together.

"Okay, baby. I'll hold her. But she doesn't love my hugs any more than yours," he said as he placed a kiss on her cheek and set her down in the chair next to his.

Hannah smiled in return and quickly went back to stringing beads onto her necklace. He thought this conversation had gone fairly well. He only hoped that it was enough to explain Michaela's deep state of depression, and that he didn't have to divulge anything further. He knew that only time would give him this answer, but more importantly Michaela's progress was the ultimate answer. If she began to improve the girls probably wouldn't question it any further. On the other hand if she stayed this way or became worse, he knew a whole other set of questions would be headed his way. However, today his words had been enough, and for that he was immensely grateful.

* * *

**September 18****th****, 2017**

He reluctantly stepped inside the dark room he had almost begun to hate. The place that had once been a sanctuary was now almost like a prison... A prison holding the love of his life captive. He tried to save her… he was still trying. He hoped that she would grab onto this lifeline he was planning to throw her. If she refused, he simply didn't know what in the world he would do. Rebecca insisted this wasn't an option, explaining that under no uncertain terms that Michaela would accept this lifeline. He only hoped she would surrender and consent to it willingly. Through he didn't hurt like she did, this terrible ordeal had left a wound in his heart as well. He didn't have the strength to truly fight her on this. _Please God just let her agree… let her come with me today_, he pleaded.

"Michaela," he said softly as he sat down beside her placing his hand gently onto her shoulder.

"Hmm?" she responded.

"Michaela, I need ya ta come with me somewhere, okay?" he asked sweetly.

She merely shook her head 'no', and attempted to pull the blanket up to further conceal her face.

"Honey, please. I really need ya to do this for me. I know this is incredibly hard for you, so let me help ya," he returned, gently pulling the blanket back slightly to once again reveal her face.

"Please look at me sweetheart," he requested as he wiped a tear from her face. "I need ya to come with me somewhere. This is really important."

"Where?" she finally returned in a whisper.

"Can I please just tell ya when we get there?" he asked.

"No, tell me now," she replied.

He swallowed hard completely unsure of how much he should say to her. He didn't want to lie, not after the way he felt on the other side of a deep untruth. That and he would never lie to her; he simply didn't believe in it. But if he told her the truth, there was no question in his mind that she would fight this… She had said countless times that she didn't want to talk to absolutely _anyone_ about this. How in the world would he convince her to talk to a total stranger about it?

"I want ya to come talk ta someone with me," he answered honestly.

"Who?" she inquired softly.

"Someone who wants ta help ya as much as I do."

"I don't want to talk," she muttered turning away from him once again.

"I promise ya don't have ta talk if you don't want to. Just please come with me, okay? I really think this will help ya. I can't imagine the kind of pain that you are feelin' right now. I just want ta help you, sweetheart. Please let me," he pleaded.

"I don't know," she mumbled clearly unconvinced.

"Baby, look at me," he said lifting her chin slightly.

"I promise I will help ya make it there. I won't leave your side unless ya say it's alright. Will you do this for me? I'm beggin' you here," he said gently as he stroked her cheek tenderly.

"I guess…" she stuttered softly after moments of silence.

That was all the compliance he needed. He sprang from the bed, grabbing her a pair of tennis shoes and a jacket from the closet. He wanted to act as quickly as possible, knowing she could change her mind at any moment. As soon as he arrived at her side, she slowly sat up and crawled towards the edge of the bed. After lacing her shoes and slipping on the jacket, she turned towards him looking directly into his deep blue eyes.

"Please don't make me go," she said softly.

Hearing her desperate plea broke his heart into tiny shards. He pulled her in close wrapping his arms around her tightly.

"It's okay. I know it's hard, I really do. But ya don't want ta feel this way anymore do you? It must be awful. Ya can't feel better if ya don't let someone help you," he encouraged.

She nodded in response, and he gently stood with her still in his arms. He led her down the hall and into the living room where Rebecca sat waiting to help if needed. As soon as she saw the distraught look on her sister's face, she couldn't contain her own tears. It was the look of utter agony and despair. She honestly couldn't remember a time when she have ever seen Michaela look that helpless and out of control. Not to mention she had never seen her with such a disheveled appearance. Her sister had always been perfectly put together so to speak. Even as a Kindergartener the bow in her hair down to her shiny saddle shoes had always been perfect. Now here she stood in jeans with holes in the knees, a t-shirt, no makeup, and hair falling out of a loose elastic band that was failing miserably at holding her hair back.

"Oh, honey," she said softly as she pulled her in for a hug. "I love you so very much."

"I love you too," she whispered in return.

"Can you drive?" he asked Rebecca knowing he wanted to sit in the back with Michaela.

"Sure," she answered before they made their way towards the front door.

"I was thinkin' we would take my car since it's got the built-in GPS," he explained.

"Sure, that's fine," she quickly answered.

"Can ya drive a stick? I guess I should have asked that earlier."

"Yeah, I can," she said with a small smile.

He retrieved the keys from his pocket and tossed them to Rebecca. Then, he climbed into the backseat of the car with Michaela. He gently buckled her seatbelt, and she leaned up against him as he wrapped his arm around her. After softly brushing a strand of her hair back from her face he whispered, "I promise this will help you."

"I hope you're right. I just want to be happy again," she returned softly.

"Shhh you will be. This won't last forever," he assured her. "Just close your eyes, and I'll let ya know when we're there."

As she began to relax somewhat in his arms, he began to calm down slightly as well. One of the biggest obstacles in his way had been how in the world he was going to get her to come with him. Thankfully, she hadn't put up much of a fight as Rebecca had predicted. Now he had to convince her to talk once they were there. He was deeply afraid she would put up that infamous brick wall once again, and simply refuse to discuss it as she had with him so many weeks ago. He prayed with everything he had that she didn't take that approach. Because if she did he had no idea how he was going to save her from the deep hole she was slowly falling deeper and deeper into with each passing moment.


	15. Chapter 15

**Ch.15**

**September 18****th****, 2017**

He stared down at the marble tile as he ran his hands through his hair for what he guessed was the millionth time in the last forty-five minutes. He glanced over to his right, and Rebecca flashed him a reassuring smile. This waiting was horrible. He had wanted to go in with her, but Dr. Audrey Davis had tried to encourage Michaela to talk to her one-on-one. _Or pushed was more like it… encourage was too nice of a word,_ he thought to himself. He knew by the look she had flashed his way, she wasn't thrilled with the thought of talking to this woman alone. He had tried to impress upon this doctor that he needed to stay by her side. However, she had taken a helpless Michaela by the hand leading her into a small office. Then, she flashed Sully a look that said 'trust me it's better if you aren't in here.'

He had taken a seat beside Rebecca unsure how to respond. If she didn't want him in there with Michaela there had to be a reason for it. He desparately hoped that Michaela would open up and talk to her. He also prayed she didn't feel that he had abandoned her in any way. He had promised not to leave her side unless she told him it was okay, however this Dr. Davis hadn't given him a choice.

As soon as Michaela stepped out of the tiny office, Sully sprang to his feet and rushed to her side. Pulling her into his arms he quickly said, "Are ya okay? I'm sorry I didn't mean ta leave ya."

She smiled back even so slightly saying, "It's fine. If I needed you, I knew where to find you."

He nodded as he cradled her head in his hand, pulling her into a deep embrace.

"Sully, can I talk to you for a few minutes?" Audrey interrupted politely.

"We'll wait for you in the car," Rebecca prompted taking Michaela's hand and giving Sully a slight nudge.

Audrey held the dark wooden door open, motioning for Sully to step inside. He reluctantly complied, and as he stepped into the small office he took a seat in one of the chairs directly across from a large desk. He watched as she gently closed the door and took a seat facing him. She flashed him a warm smile, and he felt some of the strong feelings of contempt for this woman dissipate somewhat. He tried to remind himself that she was trying to help. Above all she wanted to help his wife even if she had aggravated him beyond belief in the process.

"Well, fortunately I was able to convince her to talk with me," she began.

"Yeah?" he responded excitedly. Then, he quickly remembered he was more then a little frustrated that he had been exiled into the hall.

"How come ya didn't want me in here?" he questioned with anger dripping from his tone.

"I'm terribly sorry if that upset you. Sometimes a spouse will hide behind the other refusing to engage in conversation expecting their partner to respond to the questions they choose not to answer, which is often majority of them. I could tell by the body language between you both that she was clearly relying on you completely. While that's wonderful that she trusts you to care for her like that, and you in turn offer that kind of support, in this case it would have severely hindered this session. I needed to talk to her directly, and often the best way to encourage that communication is to remove that person from everything and everyone they know," she explained gently.

He nodded softly as he felt his anger quickly dissolving. Although he hadn't been thrilled about this approach, it had obviously been what was best for Michaela. And that was really all that mattered.

"I know you already had your suspicions, but I can now confirm that you were correct. Michaela is severely depressed," she admitted.

"What do we do now? I mean how can I help her? Should I make her talk ta me? What threw her into this depression? It's the baby's condition right? Or did she even tell ya about that?" he stated firing question after question her way.

"Okay, one question at a time here," she returned softly. "Yes, I am aware of your son's condition," she began before he quickly jumped in.

"Did she tell ya herself though? 'Cause she refuses ta say the words out loud to anyone."

"Yes, I noticed that. I was able to get confirmation from her that it was true, but you are correct she wouldn't verbally volunteer such information."

"How did ya even know where to start then?" he replied curiously.

"Your friend Charlotte Copper informed me prior to her arriving here today," she answered.

He simply shook his head again and remained silent hoping she would continue.

"To answer another one of your questions, I do believe that your son's condition is what threw her into this state. However, it is by no means the entire cause of her depression. Clinical depression is a result of a change in the levels of neurotransmitters in one's brain. Difficult life events, loss, change, or persistent stress can cause these levels to become unbalanced."

"So, how do we help her?" he jumped in again.

"Well, normally if I were to encounter a patient with severe depression I would immediately prescribe antidepressant medication in addition to therapy sessions. However, because your wife is pregnant antidepressant medication isn't an option," she replied.

"Why? Will it hurt the baby?"

"Well, we honestly don't have the answers to that question. Some antidepressants have been linked to birth defects, while others remain untested. It's not an area where ethical data can easily be gathered."

"Yeah…" he answered softly.

"Therefore, the best method of treatment for her is therapy alone."

"Can she still recover then without the medication?" he inquired become concerned.

"Yes, I believe that she can. The road may be more difficult than if she were able to take medication as well, however. My only concern lies in the possibly of her severely injuring herself or her child. After talking with her this last hour, I received no indication that she was in any danger of harming herself. Would you agree that she hasn't shown any signs of even contemplating harming herself?"

"No, she would never do that," he replied quickly, vigorously shaking his head in outrage. "She's hurtin', but she's not that far gone."

"As I said that's what I observed, I just needed confirmation on your account. If that is not a concern, then I think she will recover just fine without medication. As I said it may just be a longer process."

"So, ya said she needs therapy then?" he questioned seeking more information.

"I think she needs to come and talk with me twice a week. You are more than welcome to join in on any of these sessions. In fact, I believe you would benefit as well."

"I thought ya said she would hide behind me if I was in here with her?"

"I merely meant the very first time I attempted to make a connection with her. Now that she has opened up to me once, and felt comfortable enough to share some of her feelings with me, it would be more than okay for you to join us next time," she responded.

He nodded again replying, "Okay, I'll keep that in mind."

"Now I've discussed with her different goals to try to accomplish as the week progresses. It's your job to simply be supportive of her attempting to achieve these goals. Now keep in mind that depression affects how you feel, think, and behave, and one can therefore have trouble doing normal day-to-day activities. Basically it often makes the patient feel as if life isn't worth living," she explained gently.

"Geez," he said shaking his head in disbelief.

"I would encourage her in the tasks she attempts to complete, but when something is too overwhelming for her accept that. It won't be that way forever, but if she can't complete a task now simply back down. It will also help to get her to go out with you. Maybe with your other two children? Encouraging her to participate in life with you can only be a good thing. Most of all just be patient. This recovery will take time."

"Should I encourage her ta talk with me?"

"If she wants to open up a discussion with you, by all means go for it. But don't force her to discuss this difficult subject thinking it will help her. It honestly will not help to 'force her to face it' so to speak. Instead she will resent you and become angry with you. Leave that task to me," she expressed.

"Alright," he answered hanging his head slightly.

"Hang in there, Sully. Living with a depressed spouse is never easy. You did the right thing by bringing her in here. You truly did. On a separate note, I think it may benefit you to meet with me one-on-one as well. This is difficult for any parent to deal with, and now you have to deal with a depressed spouse in addition."

He simply nodded again for what felt like the thousandth time.

"Did she make an appointment to see you again?" he probed.

"Yes, it's taken care of. Would you like a record of the appointment times?"

"Yeah, that would be great."

She grabbed a card from her desk and scrawled the times in each slot as she said, "Thursday at 2:00 and the next Monday at 1:00."

"Thanks, I'll make sure she gets in here," he said as she handed him the card.

"I'm sure you will," she spoke genuinely with an encouraging smile.

He thanked her again before making his way to the parking lot. He said a quick prayer, thanking God that she had actually talked to this doctor. He had been extremely worried she wouldn't say a word. At least she was on the road to recovery even if it would be a long one. As he opened the door and climbed in the back seat, she quickly clutched onto him like a small child.

"Thank you sweetheart," he whispered softly into her ear.

He knew he didn't need to say anything further. She knew he was grateful that she was attempting to get better and accepting the help he was extending. What he didn't realize was that she hadn't done this for herself in any way. She had forced herself to talk for him, for her daughters, for her sister, and for her unborn son. She knew she had to fight like crazy to overcome this, if not for herself, for the ones she loved more than life itself.

* * *

**September 20****th****, 2017**

"…And then the ghost knocked on the door, but no one answered. So, he floated through the door and up the stairs into the room of the two little girls. His moanin' and howlin' woke them up, and he demanded they find the pirate who stole the treasure from his grave…" Sully said in his scariest voice possible as he held a flashlight under his chin.

She stood outside the makeshift tent they had created by draping blankets and sheets across the dining room table for several minutes. She dreaded ruining the fun they seemed to be having, but she knew she needed to at least let him know regardless of what they decided to do. Crouching down and pulling the sheets back slightly she stuck her head into their fortress, and all three pairs of eyes immediately fixed on her.

"Sorry to interrupt, but I just wanted to let you know that I pulled your casserole out of the oven a while ago…" she hesitantly explained.

"Thanks sweetheart," he said gently.

She nodded and immediately retreated from their hideaway.

"Come on girls let's go eat. This story is to be continued," he explained.

"Aww man I want to know what happens," Hannah whined.

"Well, we can come back campin' after we eat. And we'll have a special dessert too."

"Smores?" Katie questioned.

"Well, isn't that what ya have when ya go campin'?" he said with a laugh.

"Yay!" both young girls cried.

"Alright, then let's eat dinner, so we can have dessert," he explained as he switched off the flashlight and crawled out from under the table.

Both Hannah and Katie followed scooting out on their stomachs. Then, they both took off for the kitchen, as Sully hung back slowly approaching Michaela.

"You sure ya don't wanna join us after dinner?" he questioned as she stood quietly by his side. "You can ya know. It might be fun," he said nudging her gently.

"No, you guys are having fun. I'm leaving you to it. I don't bring anything but sadness anymore," she replied with downcast eyes.

"Hey, that ain't true. Don't say that," he returned wrapping her in his arms. "I think you should join us," he encouraged again.

"I appreciate the invitation, but honestly it's special time between you and the girls. I want it to stay that way."

"It would be more special if you joined in to, but I think ya know that," he responded kissing her cheek softly.

She didn't say anything in return, as a small tear rolled down her cheek.

"Hey, don't cry. If ya can't do it, then ya can't," he returned sympathetically.

"They will never forget this Sully. They will never forget that I let this change our relationship," she explained dejectedly. "I want to join in on your fun, I really do. I just can't change the fact that I literally can't summon the strength to hold the tears back for that long."

"What are ya talkin' about? Nothing between you and the girls has changed at all. You've made sure of that. Maybe ya shouldn't create unrealistic goals for yourself. It doesn't have ta be all or nothin' ya know. You could join us until ya couldn't overcome the sadness anymore. The girls will understand. I'll make sure of it. But I think we would all enjoy ya joinin' us even for five minutes. What do ya say?" he questioned, as he looked deep into her eyes.

"Okay…" she replied shrugging her shoulders slightly.

"There ya go," he responded as he reluctantly released her from his arms and took her hand leading her into the kitchen.

* * *

**September 23****rd****, 2017**

She flipped through another page in the shiny pamphlet before tossing it aside. She had been attempting to force herself to read more about treatment options for their son. Although she was incredibly familiar with the surgical process required, she wasn't as informed on all the other therapy and treatment necessary. Audrey thought trying to read this information would be too much too soon, and she would find herself completely overwhelmed with grief. Although she knew Audrey was probably right, she couldn't resist at least attempting. She thought that more knowledge might make her feel better equip to deal with this. However, Audrey had been correct it was simply overwhelming. She tried not to be too disappointed in herself, knowing it was an accomplishment that she was up and dressed today.

"Mommy?" she heard Hannah call from the doorway.

"What baby?" she returned wiping a tear from her eye.

"Can I come in?" she said softly.

"Of course! You don't have to ask that sweetie when the door is open," she returned.

Hannah arrived at the side of the bed and smiled up in her direction. Michaela bent over slightly placing her hands under the little girl's arms and pulled her upward. With Hannah's arm still in a cast, she couldn't climb onto her parents' tall bed unassisted.

"Why are you sad?" she asked gently as she wrapped her tiny arms around her mother.

When Michaela didn't respond, she said somewhat hesitantly, "Are you having another bad day?"

"What?" she answered in shock.

"Daddy told me you've been having a lot of bad days. Don't be sad Mommy. I love you, and so does Daddy and Katie. Tomorrow will be better," she returned confidently.

Hearing her daughter's words of encouragement only brought the tears streaming down in full force. Even her daughter had been impacted by this terrible turn of events in ways she would never really understand. But through all the tears she had seen shed, much like Sully she still had faith that everything would turn out all right. She so admired that about her husband, and now her daughter possessed that same wonderful outlook.

"Thank you sweetheart. I hope you are right," she returned as she gently twirled strands of Hannah's blond hair around her fingers.

"I know I'm right," she said without a hint of doubt in her tone.

"Okay," Michaela replied knowing she should encourage her daughter's positive outlook.

"I know you're sad, but I wanted to know if you would come see something…" Hannah began.

"See what honey?" she encouraged.

"Well my dance class is having a recital, and I want you to come. My teacher wants to know how many tickets I need. I asked Daddy if you would come, and he told me to ask you…." she stammered.

"Oh, honey of course I will come to your recital!" she exclaimed as she brushed a strand of hair from her daughter's sparkling eyes.

"Really? Even though you don't like to leave the house much anymore?" she implored.

"Sweetheart, I wouldn't miss this for the world. I'll be there for sure!" she emphasized.

"Yay!" she cried wrapping her arms tightly around her mother. "Thank you!" she exclaimed in delight.

"You don't have to thank me. I want to be there more than anything," she spoke happily as she gazed into her daughter's eyes. "When is this recital?"

"I don't know," she said with a shrug. "Daddy has the paper that says when it is and how much tickets cost."

"Okay, I'll ask your Daddy then. Does that piece of paper talk about how much your costume is?"

"No, but Daddy already gave my teacher money for it a long time ago. It's really pretty too, Mommy. It's hot pink and it's got a skirt that looks so cool in the big mirrors when we spin around a bunch," she said with a big grin.

"Do you have it now?" she asked.

"No, they just brought them in for us to try on one day. Then, they took them back and said we would get them right before the show," she explained.

"It sounds beautiful sweetheart. I can't wait to see it," she returned.

"Okay, I'll show you as soon as I get to bring in home," she answered happily.

"Sounds wonderful," she replied kissing her daughter on the cheek.

"I'm going to go find Katie," she explained before carefully dropping to the floor and winking at her mother before taking off down the hall.

Her heart sank as her daughter skipped from the room. Recitals were planned events that parents knew about weeks and weeks in advanced. Though she still didn't know when this recital was taking place, the way Hannah described it made it sound as if she had known about this for quite some time now. While she had been cloaked in this dark unhappiness and locked herself from the world everything around her had simply been passing her by.

Sully had probably known about this for a while if he had already paid for the costume. Somehow it really upset her that Hannah's father knew more about her dance recital then her mother. However, she knew she had no one to blame but herself. She had closed herself off from everyone and everything. Thankfully, Sully had been there for the girls when she hadn't been. She also felt a stab of guilt thinking that Hannah thought she might not agree to go. Though the world around her seemed very dark most days, she knew she had to make more of an effort to be there for the girls. No matter how hard it was she couldn't let this destroy their world too.

* * *

**October 6****th****, 2017**

"Daddy, can we eat our ice cream in the tree house?" Katie asked sweetly.

"What tree house?" he questioned as he poured chocolate sauce over his vanilla ice cream.

"It's not really a tree house," Hannah chimed in quickly. "She's talking about the little clubhouse on top of our playground."

"Oh, yeah then ya sure can. Just be careful when ya climb up the ladder that ya don't dump your ice cream," he cautioned.

"Okay, Daddy," Katie returned before sliding the glass door open and running down the wooden stairs of the deck to the playground.

"Hey, is it alright if we eat outside on the deck? I told the girls they could eat their ice cream on the playground, and it's probably best if we watch them," he explained.

"Sure, that's fine. Do you want a glass of water?" she asked as she retrieved a blue glass from the cabinet.

"Yeah, that'd be great. I'll grab your ice cream and meet ya outside," he said before adding another cherry to his sundae.

"Okay," she returned, retrieving another glass from the wooden cabinet.

As soon as she joined him at the small patio table, she turned to see were his gaze was directed. It was, of course, on his two beautiful daughters.

"She did a wonderful job tonight," Michaela began remembering Hannah's dance performance from earlier in the evening.

"Yeah, she did," he quickly agreed. "I'm really glad ya came."

"Why wouldn't I? I am her mother," she returned in an indignant tone.

"Honey, ya know what I meant. I was just sayin' I'm glad that you are makin' progress here. I know it's not easy for you, and I'm just sayin' I appreciate it that's all."

"Why didn't you tell me about this recital?" she questioned.

It had been bothering her since Hannah had first asked her if she would go. This was simply the first time she had the courage and strength to ask him.

"What do you mean?" he returned clearly baffled.

"You had to have known about this recital for quite some time. Costumes have to be ordered and paid for weeks in advance. Why didn't you tell me about it? Why did I only hear it from Hannah like two weeks before the show?"

"Honestly, with everything we had goin' on I just didn't think about it. It slipped my mind completely, honey. I paid for her costume one day when I picked her up from class. I didn't even think about it again until she brought the ticket information home. She asked me if you were goin' ta come, and I told her ta ask ya," he explained.

"Okay…" she returned softly. "I just kind of felt like you were shutting me out…"

"Never," he said as he placed his hand tenderly across hers. "Sweetheart, I would never do that. I just really didn't think about it. I'm sorry," he replied genuinely.

"You don't have to be sorry, don't worry about it…" she said before abruptly stopping midsentence and uttering a small cry as her hand came down to grip her stomach.

"What is it? Are ya okay?" he cried in alarm.

"Yeah, I'm fine," she said with a smile as her face relaxed. "Your son just kicked me in the kidney really hard."

"Yeah?" he said excitedly.

"Yeah," she responded with a smile. "Come here," she encouraged as she took his hand and placed it on her stomach.

"Hang on, maybe he'll let you feel it," she stated as both sat in silence waiting for their son to make his presence known once again.

They both jumped slightly as they felt his tiny kick underneath their hands. Neither could control the wide smile that emerged across their face as the three of them shared something so very special.

"Does this mean what I think it means?" he questioned almost scared to become excited.

"No, it doesn't," she returned sadly. "I'm assuming that you're wondering if this means he'll be able to walk. His movement in the womb doesn't necessarily correlate to his motor function after birth," she expanded forlorn.

"Oh," he replied dejectedly.

"Hey, don't get that look on your face," she said gently as she reached up to softly stroke his cheek. "I think we should just enjoy this while we can. If this is the only time he ever moves his legs, then this memory will be even more special."

It was the most optimistic thing she had said since they had heard the news over a month ago. He couldn't help but wonder whether therapy was really responsible or whether she was simply beginning to come to terms with something he had begun to face long ago. Either way it didn't really matter. He broke out into a smile once again, completely elated that she had been able to show him a silver lining outlook.

"Yeah, you're right," he stated as he moved his chair even closer to her and wrapped his arm around her tightly.

"You look deep in thought," she returned after watching him gaze off into the horizon for several moments.

"Just thinkin' about the first time I felt Katie kicking inside of you," he explained with a wistful look.

"Hmmm," she responded as her mind quickly flashed back to that evening.

"We need ta buy bomb-pops more often," he said with a laugh.

"I don't know about that," she returned with a smile.

As both sat in silence recalling that evening years ago, he couldn't help but feel happier than he had in a very long time. They had gone out as a family tonight, and she was smiling again. Parts of her were slowly coming back to him each and every day. She still had a long way to go, but sitting out on the deck with a bowl of ice cream in her hand and a smile on her face was a long way from were she had been a few weeks before. And for that he was immensely grateful. He then allowed his mind to wander back to the time when he had first felt his youngest daughter…

* * *

**November 9****th****, 2013**

She shook her head in disbelief as she watched her husband and daughter lick the sticky, melting popsicles. Hannah's hands and face were covered in the sugary blue liquid as she laughed in delight at her father's attempt to eat the messy bomb-pop. With the popsicle lodged in his left hand he held in out in front of him sideways, bringing his face towards the melting stick. Michaela couldn't hold back her laughter as despite his best efforts he was still covering his face and hands just like little Hannah.

"You sure ya don't want one?" Sully said through a laugh towards an on-looking Michaela.

"Positive," she returned trying to suppress a giggle.

"Come on you're missin' out on all the fun over here," he responded wiggling his eyebrows at her which only elicited more laughter from Hannah.

"I'll pass."

"Alright, but ya don't know what your missin'. Have ya ever even had one?" he inquired.

She shook her head gently, a sweet smile still dancing across her face.

"Oh, man you've never had one? Never?" he questioned in disbelief.

"No, never. My mother never would have allowed us to eat something that messy. We weren't even allowed to wear jeans or pants for years."

"You're kidding me?" he replied in shock.

"No, I'm serious. She would only buy us dresses and skirts. Then, after we started Kindergarten and had uniforms with the choice of shorts or pants, she caved in and allowed us to wear them if we weren't going out in public."

"Man, how in the world did you turn out so normal then?" he questioned with a laugh.

"I don't know," she returned with a playful shrug.

"Well, ya have to try one of these then, if you've never had one."

She merely shook her head stating, "To be honest with you they really don't look that appealing."

"No? Ya mean you don't want to be covered in a sticky popsicle?" he returned with a smirk.

"No, I don't," she said shaking her head as Hannah became stickier by the second.

"How do you plan to clean her off?" she asked gesturing towards the little blond.

"Ahhh throw her in the pool," he said with a grin.

"Sully, you can't do that. I mean I guess you can, but she's still going to need a bath then."

"Why would she still need a bath?" he asked a little confused.

"You can't leave chlorine in her hair. It will turn green," she explained.

"Get out! It will not!" he replied in disbelief.

"Yes, it will. Chlorine turns blond hair green. Why do you think I always give her a bath after we go swimming?" she said with a laugh.

"I don't know. I guess I just never really thought about it," he returned clearly deep in thought.

She shook her head playfully, and took a seat next to Hannah who had almost devoured her entire popsicle. Having finished his Sully quickly tossed the stick onto the ground and headed for the garage.

"Where are you going?" she called out.

"I'll be right back," he explained.

He soon returned with a sprinkler in hand setting it up in the middle of the yard. Then, after turning the water on he arrived at her side with a smug look on his face.

"Problem solved," he said with pride.

"Well partially. Are you going to put her in her swimsuit?" she wondered.

"Nah, we'll just run through like this," he said with an amused smile as he grabbed Hannah's hand and took off.

"You're crazy!" she called after him.

As Hannah and Sully ran through the steady stream of water, she looked on in amazement. He truly was the perfect father. While he had Hannah in giggles, he too couldn't contain his laughter as he scooped his daughter up in his arms and playfully tossed her in the air.

She screamed in delight as he continued to chase her through the now wet lawn. It was impossible to wipe the huge grin off of her face that seemed to always appear when Sully was near. Sometimes she literally felt like she was living in one of those television commercials where the family seemed too perfect and too happy to be real. But this was real… It was very real. _Oh, my god,_ she whispered to herself.

"Sully, come here!" she shouted from the deck.

"Yeah?" he responded slightly concerned.

"Come here," she motioned for him to come closer, and he willingly complied.

She gently took his hand wet and placed it over her abdomen. Then, she placed her hand softly on top of his waiting for their little girl to do it again.

"There. Did you feel that?" she said with a big smile.

"Yeah," he returned his eyes lighting up with excitement. "She's kickin' like crazy."

"Looks like your daughter might end up as a soccer player, " she said with a joyful grin.

"Sounds good ta me, but you know what that means right? You're goin' ta have to drive a minivan then, " he teased.

"No!" she uttered through laughter. "I told you I would never drive one of those and I meant it."

"We'll see about that."

"There's nothing to see. It's not happening," she returned lightheartedly.

"Okay, if you say so," he said with a grin. "Look at her," he requested as his eyes focused on his tiny blond haired daughter still giggling as she ran through the sprinkler.

"She's adorable," Michaela responded with a proud smile.

"Just like her mom," he said affectionately as he took a seat beside her.

"And her dad," she replied with a wink.

As they sat on the wooden steps of the deck watching the sunset, neither wanted the perfect evening to end. Both longed for many more nights of simply enjoying the happy family that had been created from their love.


	16. Chapter 16

**Ch.16 **

**October 16****th****, 2017**

"In the past you've expressed that your son's condition makes you feel terrified. Why does it terrify you?" Audrey questioned looking towards Michaela.

He likewise turned his gaze towards his wife anxious to hear her response. He had decided to accompany her to meet with Audrey after she explained that she thought it would help her to have him there. In all honesty, he was eager to finally have a real discussion with her about her feelings regarding their son's disorder. Up until this point she had refused to get into any serious or in depth discussion, explaining that it hurt her too much.

"I guess I'm terrified about being the kind of mother a child with this disorder needs and deserves. I don't think I'm capable of giving the right kind of attention or care to our son no matter how hard I try," she admitted sorrowfully.

He quickly reached for her hand taking it into his own and placing their linked bond onto his lap.

"All right, how do you feel about that Sully? Do you have similar concerns?" Audrey inquired.

He shifted towards the left, turning completely to face his teary-eyed wife. He softly grabbed her other hand and looked deep into her eyes, speaking only to her.

"I said the same thing ta Edmund over a month ago. I told him that I didn't know whether I would be enough for our son, and I wondered if I could be the kind of father a child like that needs. And ya know what he said ta me?"

"What?" she returned softly.

"He said that God sent us this child for a reason. He told me he had never met a better set of parents than you and me, and that we would take care of this child in a way that no one else could. And that the love we already felt for him was all we needed ta be able ta care for him," he explained.

"As sweet as that was of him to say, it still doesn't change what we have to face. Do you know anything about treatment for children with this disorder?" she questioned gently.

"Yeah, I've been readin' about it since they first told us," he replied.

"So, you know he will have to see specialists in orthopedics and urology his entire life?"

"Yeah."

"And that doesn't terrify you?" she returned as the silent tears streamed down her face.

"No, it doesn't. I'll take him ta as many doctors as I need to ta get the care he needs to live a happy and successful life," he said as he softly brushed the tears from her cheek with his thumb.

"I guess that's one way to look at it," she replied with a shrug.

"Michaela, what else is it about caring for your son that worries you?" Audrey probed.

"One of my biggest concerns is his mental functioning. I just can't…" she began, her tears flowing more fiercely by the second.

He gently released his grip on her hand and began to rub her arm softly encouraging her to continue. "Can't what?" he whispered.

"I can't accept… that he may never function on a basic level…" she stuttered.

After her grief-filled confession, he swiftly turned to his right and retrieved a kleenex, handing it to her gently.

"That he may never read or write… That he won't be able to really talk to me… I can't live with that… I just can't," she cried hysterically as she felt into his arms.

"Hey, sweetheart look at me," he requested. "Why are ya sayin' that? You are more than thinkin' the worst here. I know we've been preparin' for the fact that he probably has the third type of spina bifida, knownin' that would be the worst outcome. But I've read all of that information the hospital sent home and most children end up with normal intelligence. A small percentage are severely mentally handicapped. A very small percentage. Yeah, it is a possibly, but there's also a possibility he could be born with the first type of spina bifida in which he has no symptoms. Or he could have the second type in which he just needs surgery. I wouldn't focus on the small possibility that he won't have normal intelligence."

"Sully is right here," Audrey agreed. "Focusing on one outcome that isn't very probable isn't in anyone's best interest."

"I guess I just feel like I have to prepare myself for one of the worse results possible," she explained.

"Well I think it would be better to cross that bridge when you come to it. However, it is wise to prepare yourselves for the fact that he will most likely be born with the severe form of the disorder."

Both nodded slightly in return knowing they had accepted this fact a long time ago. Neither one had tried to deny or reason away the fact that the odds pointed to their son being afflicted with the most severe form. If they were wrong and their son didn't have the most severe form of the defect, it would only be a pleasant surprise.

"Sully, what else about this situation terrifies you? You seemed to have come to terms with the idea of caring for a child with this disorder."

"I'm worried about all the little complications that come along with it that we are goin' ta have ta watch for like a tethered spinal cord, seizure activity, urinary tract infections, learning disorders, and emotional and social problems. We won't know about any of that for such a long time. He could seem fine and then have a seizure years and years after he's born. I feel like I'm goin' ta have to watch him every second of the day for the rest of his life makin' sure he doesn't show any symptoms of any of these other complications," he explained with a heavy heart.

Before Audrey had a chance to respond, Michaela immediately jumped in.

"Watching for complications isn't the most wonderful thing in the world by any means, but how is it any different then watching Hannah or Katie? Hannah, God forbid, could have a seizure tomorrow and be diagnosed with a disease we weren't aware she had. And Katie, on the other hand, just started school. We could easily find out she has a learning disorder," she responded through tears.

"But that's different."

"Why?" she asked.

" 'Cause I guess I think it's more likely that he will have one of these problems. He has a disorder that is linked ta these complications. Doesn't that make it a more likely outcome?"

"Yes, it increases his odds of being afflicted with those symptoms. But there's nothing you can do to change whether or not each of those complications affects our son. You are simply watching for signs to give him the help that he needs. In a way it feels like the very same way we watch Hannah and Katie. Yes, I understand what you are saying, that he is more likely to be diagnosed with a problem. But you wouldn't watch him or take care of him any differently would you?"

"Yeah, I guess not. I just think it will be in the back of my mind constantly that one could simply show up out of the blue," he admitted holding his own tears at bay.

"I think as a parent that will always be in the back of your mind. Your child's safety is always a parent's number one concern. And I think in time that fear will dissipate once he is born and several of those symptoms can be dealt with right away, such as whether or not he has a tethered spinal cord," Audrey explained.

"Yeah," he agreed softly knowing it was something he would have to learn to live with. Hopefully, Audrey was right in believing that the fear would dissipate over time.

"What else frightens either one of you?" Audrey inquired eager to continue the discussion.

"I can't seem to accept that he won't be like other children. He won't be like Hannah and Katie. I have no problem accepting and loving him for who he is, but I know the rest of the world won't feel that way. He will never be a 'normal' little boy. Children are known for being exceedingly cruel. If we are lucky he will be able to walk with leg braces or crutches. It just breaks my heart to know that he will come home crying to us because he's not like other children," she confessed.

"That's not goin' ta be easy. You're right about that. I think we'll just have ta let him know how special he is to us and ta everyone who knows him. There will be some kids with good hearts that won't judge him or ridicule him for being different. And he'll have two big sisters to stick up for him," he explained his hands still holding hers tightly.

"I just can't stop feeling so sorry for him. If he ends up not able to walk at all and needs a wheelchair, he'll never be able to play baseball, or run around on a playground, or run at all for that matter. I feel so awful about it. I just want to take that pain away from him," she said sadly staring into his eyes.

"Right now it sounds like you're feelin' pity for him. Instead focus on the love that ya feel deep inside. You are such a wonderful woman with such a special heart. I've never met anyone that cares for others the way that you do, honey. He's not goin' ta want pity from his mother. Love, sympathy, and understanding are what he needs from us. We have ta be the parents that hold him while he cries about being different and tell him everything that's special and unique about him," he responded.

"You always have the perfect answer," she whispered before gently pulling him into her arms.

"Everything you both have said here today is very typical of parents facing caring for a child with a disability. It's normal to feel anxiety about whether or not you will be able to properly care for your child and all the complications of the disorder, including the complex care you will have to provide. The biggest thing I tell expectant parents is to really become a support system for one another. Yes, your child's team of specialists and doctors can tell you how to physically care for your child, but without the support of your spouse it's difficult to survive some days.

I have never seen two parents that were so in tune with one another's feelings. You both rely on each other in such a wonderful way. You are able to alleviate the other's concerns while still acknowledging one another's feelings. Normally that is something that I have to guide a couple through. Today, I was merely a bystander. If you continue to support each other the way you have today you both will be just fine. It won't be easy by any means, but as I said if you have the support of one another this is something you both can learn to cope with. And Edmund is your brother-in-law correct?"

"Yeah," Sully said with a small nod.

"He is obviously incredibly insightful. I think it's very clear that your son is very blessed to have two parents that love him the way that you both do," Audrey returned with a warm smile.

Both looked deeply into each other's eyes, seeing the sweet smile on their face reflected back on the face of the one they loved.

"Sully, I'm really glad you were able to join us today. I think it was an incredibly positive experience for you both to be able to voice your concerns to one another and receive such support in return. Michaela, I obviously want to continue to meet with you. Although today was incredibly successful, I still think we have a lot to discuss."

Michaela nodded in return, wiping a stray tear from her eye.

"And Sully it would be wonderful for you to join us any chance you have," Audrey said softly.

He nodded towards Audrey and then smiled back at Michaela, pulling her even closer.

This had been the exact discussion he had wanted to have with her for months now. Feelings he wanted to share with her more than anything in the world. He knew all along that she would know exactly what to say to him. No one in this world really understood him the way she did. It wasn't just that she was the mother of his son and likewise felt the pain in his heart. It was so much more than that. She had always been connected to his soul in a way that others could never understand. He felt the relief continue to flood through him as he was finally able to share his innermost worries and fears with the one women who could help ease them.

* * *

**October 24****th****, 2017**

"Hey, how are ya doing?" he questioned into the phone.

"Good. How are things over your way? You know I think about you guys everyday," Rebecca sincerely returned.

"Well things are gettin' better. She's becomin' more and more involved with the girls again. Did ya know she's even started going in ta work two days a week?" he asked in excitement.

"Yeah, she told me. That's fantastic news," she said cheerfully.

"Yeah, you bet it is. I know she's still got a long way ta go, but I'm just happy she's improvin' so much," he replied as his face broke out into a wide grin.

"Oh, I thank God everyday that she seems to be getting better. I was so worried about her…." she trailed off remembering how bad things had been.

"Oh, me too. I couldn't be more grateful for the progress she's been makin'. Hey, listen I wanted ta know if ya wanted to send Addie and Tristan over ta our place on Halloween? Then, you and Edmund could go out just the two of you. I know for a fact there are a million amazin' parties around the city, and this is your first Halloween living out here."

"Oh, Sully you are so sweet, but we couldn't do that!"

"Why not? You could come over here for an early dinner. We were plannin' on grilling some hot dogs. Then, you two could take off, and we'll take the kids out trick-or-treatin'. They can just sleep over here, and I'll take them ta school with Hannah and Katie," he explained happily.

"Well I don't know… It's just that Tristan has already invited a friend to go trick-or-treating with him…." she explained hesitantly.

"That's not a problem. If his parents are all right with it, I don't mind taking him out too. Then, I'll just take him home when the kids are done," he suggested.

"Are you sure about this? That's five kids with an incredible amount of sugar in their system on top of a very pregnant wife," she said with a small laugh.

"Trust me, I wouldn't have offered if I wasn't sure about it."

"Does Michaela know about this plan of yours?" she wondered.

"Well, I ran it past her pretty casually, but I'm sure she'll be fine with it. She knows that Hannah wanted ta go out with Addie 'cause of their matchin' costumes," he returned.

"I don't know how to thank you enough. This is so incredibly sweet of you," she expressed genuinely.

"Ya don't have to thank me. Just take a bunch of pictures of your night out ta show me later," he responded.

"We can do that," she said with a laugh.

"Alright, well I'll let ya know what time we plan on startin' dinner that night."

"Thanks again Sully. You are so wonderful."

"No problem I'm happy to do it," he returned before sliding his phone shut.

* * *

**October 31****st****, 2017**

"Hannah, Katie can you please take your backpacks to your rooms? They'll be here any minute," Michaela requested as she ran around the living room frantically picking up sunglasses and car keys that lay scattered across the room.

As he slid the glass door shut and slipped back into the kitchen, he glanced over into the living room. Shaking his head slightly, he quickly made his way over to her side.

"What are ya doing? Ya look exhausted. Sit down," he requested, and she willingly complied letting him guide her to the couch.

"Sully, they'll be here any minute, and this place is still a total mess," she replied in exasperation.

"Oh, it's fine. It doesn't matter ta them. They have two young kids at home, too. They don't care if your house is spotless," he returned.

"I just don't want anyone to trip and break their neck in here," she explained glancing towards the toys tossed haphazardly across the room.

"Well, ya look way too tired ta be frantically cleanin' like that. Please just sit down. I'll take care of it," he explained as he gently stroked her cheek, running his hand softly across her jaw line.

She smiled in return as his loving touch and sparkling blue eyes melted her heart. He pulled back gently, turning towards the hallway and shouting, "Hannah and Katie please come here!"

"Yeah?" Hannah questioned as she arrived with Katie by her side.

"Girls, can ya please pick up all these toys and take them back ta your room?" he requested.

"Addie will be here any minute though," Hannah wined.

"Well ya can't play with Addie 'til ya pick up all this stuff in here. So, if I was you I would get started now," he returned forcefully.

"Can't I just pick them up tomorrow?" she wined as Katie began to retrieve her toys from every corner of the room.

"Nope. I asked ya ta do it now. Don't make me get mad at ya on Halloween. I don't wanna have to do that," he explained still refusing to back down.

"Fine," she agreed reluctantly knowing she had lost this battle.

As the girls retreated to their rooms with armfuls of dolls and markers, he turned back towards his glowing wife.

"There ya go. All taken care of," he said with a proud smile.

"Thank you," she whispered as she claimed his soft lips.

Her heart soared as this tender kiss became laced with a hidden flame that neither could extinguish. He always elicited such deep feelings within her that set sparks flying through her heart.

"Why do ya always have ta kiss me like that?" he whispered as their lips gently parted.

"Like what?" she replied with a smile.

"So... _perfectly_… so _passionately_. I just want the world ta disappear leavin' only you and me when ya do that," he explained with an alluring gleam in his eyes.

"Wouldn't that be nice," she returned in a whisper.

He sighed heavily as he heard the doorbell chime.

"Here we go," he said regretfully as he stood from the couch.

"Hey, you volunteered for this. Don't forget that."

"Very true. I just thought we owed Becca and Edmund," he expressed with a small shrug.

"You're right," she proclaimed, nodding her head in agreement and joining him as he walked down the hall.

He pulled the wooden door open to see two excited kids standing on his porch clad in Halloween costumes and large grins.

"Ah man, don't you guys look great!" he said excitedly as the young boys quickly ran into the house.

"Hey, Tristan how's it goin' man?" he questioned extending his hand in the air requesting a 'hi five'.

"Love that pirate costume. Ya look just like Jack Sparrow from Pirates of the Caribbean," he said as he glanced down at his nephew's costume complete with a cap with deadlocks.

"Thanks Uncle Sully," he said with a grin.

"Now ya have ta introduce me ta your friend with the killer skeleton costume," he requested turning his gaze towards the other young man.

"This is Wyatt," he answered.

Then, he gestured toward his aunt and uncle explaining, "That's my Uncle Sully, and that's my Aunt Michaela," he explained to his friend.

"I thought you said your cousins' last name was Sully?" he questioned in confusion.

Sully chuckled in response to the boy's question quickly explaining, "I hate my first name, so I've always had everyone call me by my last name instead."

"Okay," he responded nodding his head.

"We're sure going to have fun tonight. You boys can go down to the basement if you want to hang out away from the girls," Michaela said with a knowing smile.

"Yeah, we've got one of those Nintendo Wii things down there that the girls never touch," Sully explained.

"Yeah, I already told him about that," Tristan said excitedly.

"We'll call you both when the hot dogs are ready," Michaela stated knowing they were anxious to retreat to the basement.

"Thanks!" they both returned before giving Sully another 'hi five' and heading down the hallway.

As the boys ran off in the other direction, Addison appeared on the porch.

"Hey, sweetheart where have you been?" Michaela questioned as she hugged her niece.

"I couldn't find my broom," she explained.

"Well I see you've got it now," Michaela returned with a grin.

"Yeah, it was under the backseat," she explained.

"Alright Addie, which one of those three witches are ya?" Sully questioned as he looked down at her costume.

"I'm Winnie."

"That's Bette Midler, right?" he questioned with a laugh his mind recalling the witches from _Hocus Pocus_ the girls had wanted to emulate.

"What?" she returned with a puzzled look on her face.

"Nevermind. Ya look just like her though," he returned glancing down at the green cape across her shoulders to the broom in her hand.

"Thanks," she said with a proud smile.

"And look I even have nails like her too," she proclaimed showing him the large, fake plastic nails gracing her fingers.

"And ya can shoot lightenin' out of them too can't ya?"

"Yep," she said with glee.

"Well, please don't send it my way, okay?" he pleaded.

"Okay," she said with a grin.

"Hannah and Katie are still cleaning up, but you can go find them," Michaela explained.

"All right," she replied taking off down the hallway as well.

While Sully had been discussing Addison's costume, Rebecca and Edmund had finished parking the car and made they way onto the porch. He quickly opened the door and failed miserably at holding back his laughter.

"I'm sorry but I've gotta say seein' ya dressed like Batman is one of the funniest things I've ever seen," he stammered through laughter.

Michaela couldn't suppress her giggling either, as Sully's chuckle had always been so contagious.

"Hey, Batman is a classic. Can't beat a costume like that," Edmund said with a smile. "So, where's your Halloween spirit? I don't see you in a costume," he proclaimed with a laugh.

"I'm not dressin' up ta go tick-or-treatin'," he stammered through laughter as he gently closed the front door.

"And why not?"

" 'Cause those costumes are always so uncomfortable! I'm only inflictin' that upon myself if I have no other choice!"

"Yeah, I don't blame you there. You're definitely right about that," Edmund returned as he tugged on the sleeve of his costume.

"What's with the witch costume? You should have been catwoman here. Play up the matchin' costumes thing," Sully said shaking his head slightly as he glanced over at Rebecca. "Matchin' always goes over big," he explained sharing a mutual grin with Michaela.

"No, I definitely pass on that idea. Now if he had wanted to be the devil, then this matching game would have worked out," Rebecca answered with a smirk.

"No, way girl! I'm all about the superheroes!" Edmund cried nudging his wife playfully.

"In all honesty, I'm just messin' with ya guys. You look great. What time are ya plannin' on headin' out?"

"Well, I was thinking we would take off about 7 o'clock," he explained.

Sully nodded in return and then thoughtfully added, "What are ya doing about parkin'?"

"I figured we would call a cab from your place and take one home as well, so we won't have to worry about the drinking and driving situation. Then, I was planning to drive Becca over tomorrow morning on my way to work to grab our van," Edmund answered.

"Sounds like a good plan to me," Sully responded with a nod.

"Becca, I have to thank you again for making Hannah's costume. She's so incredibly excited about it. It's all she's been able to talk about for weeks. She's already made me take a thousand pictures. I can't imagine how many she's going to ask for now that Addison is here," Michaela said with a laugh.

"Well, we looked online like crazy for costumes resembling those witches. I would think that would be somewhat common, but I guess it's a really old movie. Anyway, Addie and Hannah wanted to be the Sanderson sisters so bad, I decided it was worth a try to make the costumes myself. It's all they could talk about for a few weeks there. They tried to convince Katie to dress up as the third one, but as you know she was dead set on Tinkerbell," she said with a smile.

"Yes, but at least Tinkerbell could be found in the store. A costume _exactly _like Sarah Jessica Parker's outfit wasn't something I could find at Target," she returned rolling her eyes slightly.

Rebecca glanced over at Sully, and noticed he was fully engaged in a conversation with Edmund. She lowered her tone somewhat but continued on with their conversation.

"And Sully was okay with the way her costume came out?"

"Yes," she answered softly trying to suppress her laughter. "He was so worried after Hannah showed him that movie! He kept telling me that there was no way _his_ daughter was going to leave _his _house dressed like that. I told him a thousand times that you were making the costumes, and that you wouldn't make a bustier for a six-year-old! But he was totally unconvinced until he saw it on her last night," she said now in a fit of giggles.

"What are ya two laughin' at?" Sully wondered as he realized both pairs of eyes had been fixed on him for several minutes.

"Nothing," Michaela responded quickly before changing the subject. "Where are you guys going tonight?"

"Oh, a guy I work with knows about a couple of parties in downtown Hollywood we were going to check out."

"That sounds perfect. Have a drink for me okay?" Sully said with a laugh.

"Will do, if you eat one of those tootsie roll suckers for me," he returned.

"Better yet I'll save ya one."

"Aww man that would be perfect!" Edmund exclaimed in mock excitement.

"Seriously, we can't thank you guys enough for this," Rebecca stated genuinely.

"It's not a problem at all. So, happy we could do it," Sully responded as they headed outside to enjoy the evening.

* * *

As they approached the next driveway, the five children excitedly ran across the pavement and up the concrete stairs with pillowcases full of candy in hand. Sully turned around slightly, quickly noticing that she was dragging behind.

"You okay?" he said softly as he reached out to her pulling her in close.

"Yeah… Just having a hard time …" she stammered as her eyes focused on the cracked concrete below their tennis shoes.

"Havin' a hard time seein' the light?" he asked as he took her cheek gently into his hand.

"Yes…" she whispered holding back tears.

"You can always find the light even in the midst of total darkness. Ya just gotta know where ta look for it…" he explained as he fixed his gaze on her eyes, that although were full of sorrow, still sparkled in the night sky.

Their moment of silence was broken as the five kids approached their side eager to move down to the next house on the block. He gently took her by the hand and led her the small distance to the next driveway. And before the kids disappeared, he whispered in her ear, "Look at your daughters' faces. See that joy? You put it there."

"If they didn't have a wonderful mother like you, they wouldn't be out tonight havin' fun like this," he finished as he watched his daughters dash up to the front door of the white house.

"Yes, they would. You would have taken them out," she returned.

"No, I couldn't have done it without you. Your love and presence in my life gives me the strength I need ta make it through even the darkest hours. Don't ya ever forget what you mean ta me and to our family," he returned as he gently touched his lips to hers.

She could feel the smile forming from her core as his words, and then his gentle kiss, made her feel like the most special woman in the world. When he pulled back and looked down at her, she couldn't help but grin as she saw such love and devotion behind the depths of his bright blue eyes gleaming in the moonlight.

"God, I love you," she spilled out in a rush of emotion. "I was never so blessed as the day I met you," she whispered as he tucked a strand of her golden hair behind her ear.

"See I told ya you could find the light. You just had to know where ta look for it," he returned.

"It's been standing right beside me all along," she said before the children had once again returned to their side.

As they continued their pace down the block stopping at each house, he wrapped his arm tightly around her and they continued to walk perfectly in-sync. He took a deep breath relishing in this small moment where his words had provided her with comfort and strength. Sometimes they helped and other times they didn't seem to ease her pain at all. He tried not to dwell on what 'could have been', but it was often hard not to do just that. He had pictured things so very differently when she had told him she was pregnant months ago. The picture had been one of her filled with the happiness that had radiated from her when both Hannah and Katie were inside of their mother. He could still remember their first Halloween together as a married couple when Hannah had only been inside of her for a mere two months… It was a day full of dreams of family life to come…Dreams of a happiness that now seemed so very unattainable...


	17. Chapter 17

**Ch.17**

**October 31****st****, 2010**

"So, whom exactly are we meeting tonight?" she questioned with a smile as they stood on the corner outside the crowded dance club.

"This guy that I work with. His name is Zack. He just started workin' for us a few weeks back. He said he knew some of the bouncers at this club and could get us in easily," he explained as he wrapped her in his arms knowing she was cold.

She smiled as she could feel his body heat radiate through her. She hadn't even mentioned she was cold, but she didn't need to. He always picked up on her every unspoken wish. It was one of the things she loved about him the most. She took in a deep breath reveling in this closer embrace. She smiled to herself quickly letting her eyes wander to the deep v-neck in the white shirt of his costume. And as her fingers began to dance across the tan flesh on his chest, he let out a contented sigh.

"You drive me crazy. Do ya know that?" he whispered seductively in her ear as he wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Hmmm," she replied softly as she played with the buttons on his dark vest.

He still couldn't get over how stunningly perfect she looked in the eighteenth century, floor length dress. The fitted corset bodice that laced up in back only accentuated her already naturally tiny waist. Then, she had styled her hair in such an elegant up-do that she was the spitting image of Elizabeth Swann. He definitely thought she could give Keira Knightley a run for her money.

"So, where exactly is Zack?" she said with a laugh, as he remained silence mesmerized by her beauty.

"That's a good question. I actually have no clue. I text him a few minutes ago, but I never got a response. Daniel sent me a message about five minutes ago, and said he and Jennifer were about ten minutes away," he explained pulling back slightly to retrieve his phone from his pocket.

"Hey guys, I love the costumes! Those are totally awesome!" a young blond guy called as he approached the couple.

"Let me guess you're a pirate, and you are some uptight Victorian girl?" he said with a smirk.

Sully glared at him as he watched this young man's eyes wander up and down his wife. He felt a cold chill run down his spine as the white-hot jealousy ripped through his body. He knew other men looked at his wife constantly, however this was the first man that had looked at her quite like that with him standing so close. He literally wanted to punch the guy in the face. Every bone in his body was screaming at him to tell this guy that she belonged to him, just like he belonged to her. However, he knew he was overreacting. He took in a deep steadying breath telling himself that he need not worry. Michaela felt nothing for this jerk, and starting a scene here would benefit no one.

"No, William Turner and Elizabeth Swann," Michaela returned with a smile.

"Oh, yeah! That dude from _Pirates of the Caribbean_ and his hot girlfriend," he returned with a nod.

"_Wife_," Sully jumped in knowing that his statement covered both this man's oversight of the fictional characters' relationship and his with Michaela.

"Oh, yeah guess they do get married. Good call man," he replied nudging Sully's shoulder with his fist.

"And you are?" Michaela questioned looking at the man clad in scrubs and a lab coat standing before her.

"I'm a gynecologist," he said with a smirk pointing to the cheap embroidery on his jacket.

"Really?" Michaela answered skeptically not quite picking up on the 'humor' of the situation as quickly as Sully did.

"Yeah, and this is my nurse," he replied pulling the young blonde next to him in closer.

Michaela gawked at the blonde's costume consisting of thigh-high stockings, a white skirt that covered almost nothing, and a red top plugging ridiculously low. She had finished her costume with a plastic stethoscope, hat with a white cross, and red stilettos. Michaela quickly turned her gaze towards Sully expecting his eyes at least wander over to this girl even for a brief moment. She grinned to herself when she realized his eyes had been fixed on her the entire time.

"Do you think that's funny or something?" she returned not seeing the humor in these costumes at all. She didn't think there was anything laughable about her profession whatsoever.

"Yeah why?" Zack said with a smirk.

Sully could tell by the look in her eye that his wife was about to hall into this guy for disrespecting everything her profession represented. He knew he was going to have to jump in and defuse the fight. But before he had the chance, Daniel and Jennifer appeared by his side.

"Hey guys!" Daniel called out in excitement. "Wow, love the _Pirates of the Caribbean_ nod there."

"Thanks," they both said smiling at one another.

"Great plastic sword there Sully," he teased glancing at the silver object hanging from his leather belt.

"Man, you're lookin' sharp there," Sully proclaimed as he looked over Daniel's western sheriff's costume.

"Thanks man," he returned giving Sully a friendly nod.

Michaela flashed a smile Jennifer's way glad to see that she was wearing more than Zack's girlfriend.

"Love the fairy costume Jennifer, it's beautiful," she said reaching out to touch one of the sparkling white wings.

"Thanks! And don't you two look adorable in your matching costumes!" she exclaimed.

"Well, why don't we move this inside?" Zack cut in clearly feeling left out of the group.

They all agreed and made their way towards the entrance. Thankfully, Zack had been telling the truth. With a few simple words to the doorman, he was able to get all six of them in with no trouble. Both Sully and Daniel thanked him, and as they walked through the tiny entrance hall Sully caught Zack's gaze fixed on Jennifer for a bit too long. He shook his head making a note to mention this to Daniel. Obviously, this guy didn't realize the definition of boundaries.

As soon as they entered the club Jennifer and Daniel ran into a couple they knew, and as they discussed each other's costumes and snapped pictures Sully and Michaela continued to follow Zack.

"Hey, man I know the bartender. He'll hook us up. What do you guys want to drink?" he shouted over the blaring music.

"Nothin' thanks. We're good," Sully returned.

"What the…?" he returned with a very puzzled expression. "Seriously, man it's not a problem. What do you want?"

"I told ya nothin'," Sully returned slightly louder this time, thinking it possible that Zack hadn't heard him.

"What do you not drink or something?" he questioned still unsure why Sully was responding that way.

"That's right. We're not drinkin'," he reiterated once again.

"But why?" he tried again clearly not comprehending.

Sully glanced over towards Michaela knowing this wouldn't end until he was honest with this guy. She nodded slightly giving her nonverbal consent for him to explain further.

"My wife is pregnant, so she can't drink," he explained gesturing towards Michaela.

"Oh, I gotcha," he said with a nod. "She doesn't look pregnant to me," he said with a small laugh as he was clearly undressing her with his eyes.

Sully felt the rage ball up inside of him, and he knew he couldn't control himself this time. Now he felt like Zack was being downright disrespectful of not only his wife but his unborn child as well.

"If ya look at her like that again, I'm goin' ta smack you," he said forcefully, clenching his teeth to prevent himself from grabbing this guy by the collar and throwing him to the ground.

"Wow, sorry man! Didn't mean to cause a problem," he returned putting his hands up in defeat. "Let me get you a drink," he replied gesturing towards the bar.

"No, I told ya we're not drinkin'. What don't you get?" Sully replied with anger clearly loosing all patience with this man.

"Well, I know why she's not drinkin'. But what's that gotta do with you?"

"I'm not goin' ta drink if she can't. Period," he finished determined not to discuss it any further.

"All right then. Catch up with you guys later," he returned making his way through the crowd.

"Yeah, you do that," Sully mumbled shaking his head and sincerely hoping they didn't see Zack again.

"Come on," he said gesturing towards an open table and gently taking his wife by the hand.

"Wow, great guy there," she said with sarcasm.

"No, kiddin'. I haven't talked ta him much at work yet, and now I'm glad I haven't. Daniel sort of set all this up tonight, but ta my knowledge he hasn't hung out with this Zack guy much either."

"I can see why," she said shaking her head.

"Thanks for standing up for me there," she said with a smile placing her hand gently onto his.

"Ya never have ta thank me for that. No one's goin' ta look at you like that, _ever_. Not if I can help it," he returned still feeling the anger hiding below the surface.

"What about you though?" she returned playfully.

"I don't count," he said with a grin raising his eyebrows teasingly.

"Hi guys," Zack's girlfriend said as she appeared at Sully's side.

"Sorry, I never caught your name," Sully returned apologetically.

She placed her hands on both of his shoulders and leaned in close whispering, "I'm Julie."

"Nice ta meet you Julie," he returned pulling his head back slightly attempting to create distance between the two of them. She quickly leaned in even closer pressing herself closely against him.

Michaela sat stunned as she watched this woman flirt with her husband right in front of her. She was shocked when those inner feelings of defensiveness didn't surface. Instead she felt like crying as she watched this girl hang on top of her husband.

"I'm Sully, and this is my _wife_ Michaela," he explained, as he gently but forcefully removed her hands from his shoulders.

"Wife huh?" she said with a smirk glancing over at Michaela.

"Yeah, _wife," _he explained gently placing his hands on her shoulders and moving her back slightly.

"So, this is pretty permanent then?" she questioned glancing from Sully to Michaela.

"As permanent as forever is," he replied becoming angry.

She was having a difficult time making out every word of their conversation due to the volume of the music, but what she did hear she didn't like. Sully had emphasized the word wife more than once. And he looked about as uncomfortable as she felt deep inside. Not to mention this woman was standing way too close to the man she loved.

"Julie, I think you need ta go find Zack. We're done here," he finished before he backed his chair away from the table and walked to Michaela's side.

She looked at him in question, and instead of answering he took her hand and pulled her into his arms. Then, placing one hand behind her head and the other on her back, he dipped her backward and kissed her with such intensity, it literally left her breathless. Julie watched in disgust before she turned and headed in the opposite direction.

"Wow, what was that?" she said still reeling from his passionate display.

"I had ta show someone that wasn't takin' the hint that you are the only woman I ever want ta look at until I die," he said with a smile.

"Thank you," she responded knowing those two words would encompass the deep feelings of gratitude she had inside knowing he had been as upset by that woman's actions as she had been.

"'Course. Want to dance?" he questioned as the newly popular hip-hop song _Club Can't Handle Me _began.

"Do you even have to ask?" she returned and they soon joined the couples already dancing.

"_You know I know how… To make 'em stop and stare as I zone out… The club can't even handle me right now…"_ he mouthed in her direction.

"A little arrogant don't you think?" she teased.

"What?" he returned.

"The club can't even handle _you _right now? Someone is cocky," she explained with a laugh.

"Yeah, maybe a little," he said with a smirk catching onto her game.

"Can we please just stay home next year, just the two of us, and hand out candy and watch scary movies? Oh, and eat too much candy corn. Please?" she pleaded.

"No, sorry we can't do that," he returned

"Why not?" she whined playfully.

"'Cause," he said with a grin as he wrapped his arms around her placing his hands gently over her abdomen. "It won't be just the two of us. Now if you said the _three_ of us, you would have yourself a deal," he whispered.

"Okay, three of us then," she returned as she placed her hands gently on top of his.

"Sounds like a plan as long as I can dress this little one up like a pumpkin," he said with a grin.

"What?" she questioned through a giggle.

"I love those little baby pumpkin costumes. They're so adorable," he admitted.

"You are too sweet. You know that?" she said with a wink.

As she continued to dance wrapped in his arms, she knew she was officially over this 'party scene'. The clubs, the bars, the excessive alcohol, and the individuals with no morals… she was done. All she really wanted was what she already had, a family with him. Little did she know he had come to the very same revelation she had. As she leaned further into his arms, she knew that she would always be secure, safe, and loved as long as he was in her life.

* * *

**November 11, 2017**

"Mommy, can you fix my bow?" Katie questioned softly as she tugged at the pink ribbon in her hair.

"Sure, sweetheart. Come here," she said motioning with her hand for Katie to come closer.

After securing the ribbon back in her daughter's hair, she watched her happily run back outside to join her sister and cousin.

"Hey, what are you doing in here? You okay?" Rebecca asked upon finding Michaela in the kitchen.

"Yeah, fine," she said with a small smile. "Just getting something to drink. Between you and Sully I can't move without you throwing questions my way."

"Sorry. I'm the first to admit I'm a tad paranoid," she said with a shrug. "I'm just very concerned about my sister. Is there something wrong with that?" she asked gently as she approached Michaela's side.

"No, nothing wrong with it. You just don't need to be. Today's been a good day," she returned with a confident smile.

"All right then," Rebecca replied knowing by the look across her sister's face that she was speaking the truth.

"Do you want to see the cake?" she asked flashing Michaela a broad smile.

Michaela nodded eagerly in response, and Rebecca glanced outside to make sure all the children planned to remain in the yard for the next several minutes. Upon confirming none where headed for the door, she opened the refrigerator and set the cake gently onto the cabinet. Michaela stared in amazement at the decorated cake before her, consisting of a tiny plastic action figure riding on a motocross bike up the chocolate cake that strongly resembled a mountaintop.

"Oh, my God! That's incredible!" she replied in astonishment. "Did you make that?"

"Are you crazy?" Rebecca said with a laugh. "Of course I didn't! I had this cute little bakery over on third street make it."

"Wow it's spectacular! He's going to be so thrilled when he sees this," Michaela returned in excitement.

"I know! I can't wait to see his face. He has absolutely no clue. He was simply told that the cake was chocolate. That's it," she explained excitement dancing across her face.

"How in the world are you going to get any candles on this cake though?" Michaela wondered.

"Oh, I bought some of those numbered candles. That way I only need to stick those two on it instead of twelve individual candles. I figured I could put them at the bottom of the mountain."

"Yeah that will work. I can't believe your little boy is twelve years old," Michaela said shaking her head in disbelief.

"Oh, I know! It seems like just yesterday that he was a toddler. Mothers always say they grow up too fast, but I never believed them."

"Me either," she returned with a smile as she held the door open to the refrigerator for Becca to slip the cake back inside.

"Your little boy will be Tristan's age before you know it," she added.

"Yeah…" Michaela returned turning her gaze downward.

Rebecca cringed upon seeing her reaction. She immediately regretted that she had even brought the subject up. She often forgot that though Michaela was coping with it better everyday, it was still a subject she didn't like to discuss or dwell on. It was difficult for her to wrap her mind around the concept of not wanting to mention the child growing inside of you.

"Oh, honey I'm sorry. I didn't me to…" she began placing her arm gently around her sister.

"No, you're fine. I just have a hard time picturing him years down the road. I mean we don't even known if he'll be able to walk even with leg braces or crutches…"

"He'll be able to walk," she replied encouragingly. "And even if he can't walk, you'll still be celebrating his twelfth birthday just like this."

"Yeah, you're right," she said with a small smile.

"Hey, I've been looking for you two everywhere," Edmund called out as he entered the kitchen.

"What did you need? Oh, no did someone get hurt? I told you that ramp was a bad idea," Rebecca replied in exasperation.

"No, everyone's fine. I just really can't wait any longer to give it to him. Can I please get it out now?" he begged.

"Oh, all right," she said giving into his demand. "Let me go get the camera, and I'll meet you outside."

"Great thanks! Love you babe," he cried before departing quickly through the backdoor.

"Love you too," she called out after him.

"What's got him so excited?" Michaela questioned said a laugh.

"Oh, we got Tristan a skateboard for his birthday, and Edmund has been ridiculously excited about giving it to him for weeks now. Something about having the bottom designed with something they drew together… I'm not sure the specifics of it. I just know he custom designed this skateboard for Tristan, and he's overly anxious to give it to him."

"Well I'm sure he wants Tristan to be able to use it with that skateboarding ramp he rented."

"I still can't believe he talked me into that one. At least we have a doctor here," Becca said with a grin.

"Well they all better be wearing helmets, elbow pads, and knee pads."

"If they aren't then you will have to tend to my husband after I smack him to death," Rebecca returned rolling her eyes slightly.

Michaela laughed in response, and Rebecca quickly joined in glad to see a smile on her sister's face.

"Come on. If we aren't outside in the next two seconds I have a feeling he'll be back in here crying like a child again," she joked as both headed back outside.

* * *

"So, where's this amazin' present ya dragged me in here ta see?" Sully teased as he let his eyes wander around the garage.

"Hang on. I've got it well hidden under my workbench. I didn't want him finding it by mistake. And I definitely didn't want to keep it in the house will all the hide-and-seek those kids play. There's no corner of the house that's safe from their eyes," he returned as he dug through a stack of tools.

"Isn't that the truth!" he said with a chuckle thinking about his own daughters.

"Here it is. Check this out man," he said with excitement handing Sully the perfectly polished board with a ribbon tied around it.

"Wow, this is incredible," he returned in awe gazing at the board in his hands.

"Yeah, I'm so excited for him to see it."

"Who did the artwork?" Sully questioned as he admired the design across the bottom surface.

"Tristan did."

"Get out!" Sully proclaimed in total shock.

"No, really. I was working on some stuff for the office on a Saturday, and he sat in my home office with me all afternoon. He was drawing a bunch of designs like that one and showed them all to me. I asked him what they were for, if anything in particular, and he said nothing really but they might make cool t-shirts or something. Then, I came up with this idea to get him a skateboard, and I had it customized designed with his artwork printed on the bottom," he explained with a proud grin.

"Ah man he's goin' ta flip over this. And this artwork of his is really good," he responded as he admired the detailing in the design.

"Ahh I know. I hope he ends up wanting to pursue something like that. He's obviously got the talent. Anyway, I've had this for months now waiting to give it to him."

"Well ya did good man. He's goin' ta love it," Sully said as he handed the board back over to Edmund.

"All right let's go give it to him," he said excitedly as they both retreated from the garage and back into the yard that was filled with laughter and excitement.

* * *

He watched as Edmund presented Tristan with the perfect birthday present. He couldn't help but smile as he watched his nephew's eyes light up with excitement. As he ran into his father's arms, Sully could see the joy written all over his close friend's face. After Tristan dashed over and embraced his mother, he quickly pointed to the ramp eager to try out his new toy. Edmund was about to give him the go ahead, when Rebecca stepped in explaining that he needed to wear elbow and knee pads. Sully laughed to himself as he watched Tristan scramble to get them on as quickly as possible and head over to the ramp with his friends.

"Did you see how excited he was?" Edmund exclaimed recalling his son's joy from seconds before.

"Yeah, look he's already takin' off on it," Sully said pointing to the young boy skating down the wooden ramp.

"He's doing a pretty impressive job too, considering he's never been on a skateboard before," he said his eyes gleaming with pride.

"Definitely," Sully agreed with a nod.

As he watched Tristan quickly becoming an expert skateboarder, he felt those familiar feelings of sadness and dread quickly overtake the joy and happiness. He had found himself trying to picture what his own son's twelfth birthday would be like. But he couldn't imagine his son in Tristan's place…because he never really would be… While he was thrilled that his nephew was overjoyed with his present, he couldn't help but realize that this was something his son would never experience. He would never have the chance to learn how to ride a skateboard or even a bike… After all they would be extremely lucky if their son was even able to walk.

If his son were at this very party now, he would be completely excluded from partaking in one of the main activities. He felt the guilt seeping into his conscious thought as he scolded himself for thinking this way. He knew he should be excited and full of joy that his wife was going to have another baby in a few months. He took in a deep breath trying to pull himself together and keep his tears safely hidden behind his eyes. He had promised himself a very long time ago that he wouldn't allow himself to break down about this. Michaela and the girls needed him to stay composed and put together at all times no matter how hard it was for him.

He glanced over at Michaela and felt some relief upon seeing her laughing and talking with Rebecca. He knew if she was holding it together today, then he could do it to. But as soon as his eyes wandered back over to the excited twelve year olds riding their bikes and skateboards his heart sank again. Even glimpsing over at his daughters climbing on the outdoor playground didn't seem to help. Often their shining faces helped bring him out of the dark tunnel of despair, but today all he could think about was the fact that his son wouldn't be able to climb on a jungle gym either. He could feel his resolve crumbling, and he quickly made his way into the house.

Upon entering the house, he wandered into the living room and took a seat on the couch. He closed his eyes trying to keep the tears from flowing as he attempted to steady his breathing. He willed himself to regain control, but the tears flowed even from his closed eyes. He quickly buried his head in his hands attempting to block out everyone and everything that reminded him of the truth about his son's future. He could escape the visual reminders, but he could not escape the thoughts that circled through his head constantly reminding him of the anguish that had caused his tears.

As he felt the warm embrace surround him, he looked up through his tear-stained eyes only to see Michaela sitting closely beside him.

"Having a hard time?" she questioned softly as she gently stroked his arm.

"Yeah…" he muttered through tears.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she offered.

"I don't think so…" he answered in a very unconvincing tone.

"Come on please? You always beg me to share my feelings with you. Please talk to me," she encouraged.

He hesitated knowing that if he went down this road there was a good chance he would be dragging her down it with him.

"Please, sweetheart. I want to help you. The way you always help me," she said gently taking his hand into hers.

"No, I can't do that ta you. You've been havin' such a good day. I won't drag you down with me," he returned shaking his head slightly.

"If you are down that dark road today, then I want to be there with you. I want to help you find the light like you've helped me. The day I married you I promised to stay by your side always. This is no exception. Please tell me what you're feeling."

"It's just seeing all those boys out there…It's just really hard… Hard to accept that my son won't have a future like that…." he stammered.

"Like what?" she probed.

"My son won't ever be able to skateboard, or ride a bike, or even climb on a playground," he said in despair.

"Yes, you're very right, and it's okay to be down about that. It truly is all right Sully. But what you also have to remember is that he may be blessed with many other gifts that those children don't possess. He may be an expert painter, piano player, or draw exceptional blueprints for buildings. After all he has some of those talents in his genes already," she said with a smile.

"Yeah…I just wish so badly that he was normal. I always took for granted the fact that Hannah and Katie were healthy children. I would give anythin' in the world if I could say the same thing about our son," he replied as another steady stream of tears fell from his eyes.

"You may still be able to you know," she answered softly as she gently wiped the tears from his cheek.

"What?" he returned.

"I know we have prepared ourselves for the very worse possible outcome. I'm not saying that was wrong by any means, but we are very far from having no hope at all here," she explained gently.

"You're right," he said with a nod. "But it's still so hard to face that he may be so different from all those healthy little boys out there…"

"Oh, I know. You have to remember though, we still have so much to be grateful for. We have two wonderful, happy, and healthy little girls, and we are both blessed with a family and a spouse who love us unconditionally. Just continue to pray Sully. Don't ever stop asking for support and guidance here. That's what I've continued to do," she responded as she held him close.

"I know. He's already supporting me right this very second, 'cause He sent you in ta hold me," he answered giving her hand a small squeeze.

"Come here," she said softly placing his head onto her chest. "I love you so very much."

"I love you too sweetheart. You are always the light in my world," he whispered.

"See I knew you could find it. You just had to been shown where to look," she returned, repeating what he had said to her Halloween night, as she lovingly ran her fingers through his hair.

After moments of silence passed between the two, with Michaela holding him close, she gently whispered, "You just let me know when you are ready to join the party again. I promise I won't leave your side. I'll hold your hand the entire time. Every time you feel those terrible feelings of overwhelming sadness and anxiety, know that I'll be right by your side."

"Ya don't have to do that," he replied in a calmer tone as he brushed his cheeks again.

"I know I don't _have _to, but it's what I want to do," she answered.

"I think I'm ready," he said, softly knowing everyone would soon notice their absence.

"Okay," she responded simply, and as they both headed for the door she grasp his hand firmly in her own.

"Remember when you're at your lowest just look for the light," she spoke with encouragement.

He smiled slightly in return before following her out onto the patio. He knew that this would be difficult to face again, but she had been right about so many things. Not only did he have so much to be thankful for, but his son could end up possessing incredibly special talents that these children didn't. Those were comforting thoughts, but the most comforting thought of all was knowing that she would be there the entire time right by his side.


	18. Chapter 18

**Ch.18**

**November 15****th****, 2017**

"Let's talk about your family," Audrey began knowing it was time to finally discuss this subject fully.

"What about them?" Michaela returned.

"Your sister Becca and brother-in-law Edmund know about your son's condition, correct?"

"Yes," she answered simply.

"Who told them?" Audrey inquired.

"Sully did…" she admitted fully aware of the direction to which this conversation was headed.

"All right. What about Sully's parents? Do they know?"

"His parents are no longer living…" she answered softly.

"I'm terribly sorry to hear that," she responded sincerely. "What about your parents?"

"What about them?" she retorted clearly dodging the question.

"Who told them?" Audrey pressed.

"No one…" she stammered knowing right where this was headed.

"So, your parents have no idea that your son will be born with this defect?"

"No…" Michaela reluctantly confessed.

"I know we haven't spent much time discussing your immediate family, but you have expressed in the past that you and your father are very close…"

"We are…"

"Why did you choose not to share this information with your parents?" Audrey questioned gently.

"I don't know…" she hesitantly replied.

"I think that you do know. You are a very intelligent woman that has a very strong grasp on the reasons behind her actions. I think you are choosing not to share this information."

Michaela simply shrugged her shoulders. She knew she was holding back her true thoughts and feelings on the subject, and Audrey could see without a doubt that this was the case.

"This is a big step in the recovery process. If we can get past this it will be a big leap in the right direction. So, I'm going to ask you again why did you choose not to tell your parents about your son's diagnosis?"

"Well my father is a physician…" she began reluctantly.

Audrey nodded slightly encouraging her to continue.

"As much as I care for him I knew with absolute certainty that his method of coping with news like this would be to bombard me with intensive medical discussions on patients with similar conditions, treatments, and other options. I just didn't want to discuss it any further, and he's not one to take 'no' for an answer. I just didn't need another doctor in the mix…" she stated her voice dripping with sadness.

"That's understandable. Do you think you could express these feelings to him? After you share such news with him couldn't you explain that you didn't want to discuss it further?" she suggested.

"It wouldn't make a difference. He wouldn't accept that," Michaela explained.

"Not even if you really expressed how strongly you felt about it?"

"I don't think it would matter honestly."

"Okay," she acknowledged with a small nod knowing she would address this point later. "And why did you keep this information from your mother?"

"My mother and I don't have the best relationship…" she disclosed with a crestfallen expression. "I love her and I know that she loves me, but we don't see eye to eye on most situations. I know she will somehow try to turn this into something I did or did not do…"

"So, you believe she would place blame on you for your son's condition?"

"Yes," Michaela confirmed.

"What has she done in the past that would make you think she would react in that way?"

"Everything I've ever done in life she seems to have disagreed with including my decision to marry my husband. She eventually came around to the idea, but initially she was very opposed to it," she answered.

"What made her come around?" Audrey asked.

"She saw the love he had for me while I was in a coma for over four months," she responded thankful that she had already discussed that nightmare with Audrey and wouldn't have to rehash it again.

"I see," Audrey answered softly clearly deep in thought. "I think you are projecting some of your own feelings onto your parents. Do you think it's possible that you may think your mother will somehow place blame onto you because you blame yourself in some way?"

"I don't know… I guess in some ways I do blame myself… I was the one that wanted another child. I couldn't simply be happy with the two healthy ones I already had," she admitted as tears began to form in her eyes.

"Sully didn't want another child?"

"No, he did. But I didn't tell him that I was sort of trying for another… I stopped taking birth control, and I immediately turned up pregnant. Of course he was thrilled, but as I said he didn't even know I was trying…" she trailed off as her gaze wandered down the floor.

"Do you think it's possible that ultimately you feel guilt over believing you were the one almost solely responsible for his conception?"

"Yes… that's exactly it," she said softly finally connecting these feelings of guilt to a specific cause.

"Okay, it's extremely positive that you were able to acknowledge this guilt. But Michaela it takes two people to conceive a child. I understand that Sully was not immediately aware that your roadblocks were down so to speak, but he had an equal part in conceiving your son. And he wanted another child equally as much as you did correct?"

"Yes," she confirmed as the tears began to fall from her heavy lids.

"Then, you have no reason to regret your actions in any way. It's important that you have acknowledged your feelings, but his conception was not the cause of this defect. Spina bifida is a neutral tube defect, meaning something when wrong within the first few weeks of his development. Nothing that you did or did not do could have changed that in any way. You did everything you could to take care of yourself and your unborn child," Audrey replied.

"Yeah…I just can't shake this feeling that if I had never stopped taking those pills I wouldn't be pregnant right now. And as much as that hurts to think that my son wouldn't exist, he also wouldn't be born with this defect either…"

"You're playing the 'what if' game here, and that is a very dangerous game to play. The fact is that you did stop taking the pills. However, there is no reason you should regret that action in any way. You and your husband both wanted another child, and there's nothing wrong with that. You need to let go of these feelings of guilt. This is not something that any action on your part could have prevented."

She nodded knowing that Audrey was completely right in this situation. Although she was the one essentially responsible for his conception, she couldn't possibly have known that something would go wrong so early in his development. No one could have predicted that.

"When you leave today I want you to write down all the reasons this situation makes you feel guilty. Then, I want you to destroy it. Light it on fire or tear it to shreds, whatever you need to do. You have to fully let go any reasons you have to feel any level of guilt here," she explained.

Michaela merely shook her head in return knowing it was finally time to let these feelings go once and for all.

"Now onto why you didn't want to tell your father. Likewise I think you are projecting your feelings onto him as well. You expressed that he would want to endlessly discuss this in medical terms, and you didn't wish to discuss it any further. Do you think it may be that you have yet to address how you feel about this as a surgeon?"

"As a surgeon I feel helpless… This isn't something that I can fix. If he needs surgery, I can't perform it myself… And surgery most likely won't solve the problem completely, only improve it…" she declared for the first time aloud.

"So, maybe your issue here lies in the fact that you can't perform surgery yourself?"

"I guess it does… I've never felt so helpless before… so out of control…"

"It may help if you meet with the surgeon prior to your son's birth. Do you think you may be able to find a surgeon that you could confidently believe would perform the surgery as well as you could?" Audrey ventured.

"Yeah, I think that I could," she spoke softly as her mind scanned through the countless pediatric surgeons she was acquainted with.

"Would that make you feel any less helpless knowing that you chose the pair of hands responsible for your son's surgery?"

She nodded gently realizing that Audrey's suggestion had already brought her some relief.

"Well make sure to focus on contacting someone and getting that arranged as soon as you can. It will be a tremendous relief to know that is taken care of. Now I believe we should discuss your parents again. I think sharing this news with them is an extremely important step in this recovery process. Will you be traveling to see them for Thanksgiving?"

"Yes, we're going to Boston," Michaela answered.

"I think you need to tell them during your trip," she requested.

"I don't know if I can…" Michaela stuttered in return as thoughts of sharing this news with them filled her with dread.

"I think that you do have the strength inside of you to share it with them. Make sure that Sully is there for support and helps you tell them such news. Now this is very important Michaela, _you_ need to be the one to tell them. Sully can be there for support, but it needs to come from your mouth," she paused waiting for Michaela to properly acknowledge what had been said.

"Okay…" she stammered still unsure as to whether she would be able to do this or not.

"If you are still worried about their reactions, then voice your concerns directly to them. Explain that you kept it from them because you were worried about their reactions. They very well could surprise you here. Parents can often imagine what it would be like to be in another parent's shoes and respond with the uttermost care and compassion. They may add so much to your already strong support system," Audrey offered.

"I don't know… I guess you could be right. This is just going to be very difficult…" she admitted softly.

"Yes, it won't be an easy subject to discuss by any means. But this entire journey hasn't been easy for you in the least. This is a big step in the right direction, and I have complete faith in you Michaela. You can do this," she emphasized offering her sincere support.

"Okay," she offered in return unsure how else to respond.

In all honesty, she had no clue how she was going to summon the strength to tell them this news. She had yet to share this awful nightmare with anyone. Everyone that knew had been told by Sully or James. There was no doubt in her mind that Audrey knew this too, that was the reason behind requesting that Michaela specifically be the one to say the words aloud. She deeply dreaded their reactions knowing they would be very hurt that she had waited this long to share it with them. After all they had been asking about her son since she told them she was pregnant in May. She had been dodging the question or lying through her teeth, and now she would pay for those actions dearly. She just hoped that Sully would be able to offer some guidance on this matter. After all it was his support that had helped her come this far, and she would never forget that.

* * *

**November 18****th****, 2017**

"Katie, sweetheart please go wash your hands your lunch is ready," Michaela called from the kitchen as she set the peanut butter sandwich onto the brightly colored plate.

"Your sandwich is on the purple plate Katie," she explained as her daughter bounced into the room.

"Okay," she answered with a smile before sitting down in front of the crust-less sandwich.

"Honey, do you know if Hannah is still outside?" she questioned.

"I don't know," she said with a shrug as she began to eat the goldfish crackers on her plate.

Just as she was about to go looking for Hannah, her daughter stepped inside sliding the glass door to the patio shut.

"Oh, there you are. I was about to come get you. Your lunch is ready sweetheart," Michaela said with a smile.

"Okay, thanks Mommy. Can I wash my hands in here?" she asked gesturing towards the kitchen sink.

"You sure can," Michaela returned before glancing in Katie's direction to see a look of utter disgust on her daughter's face.

"Katie, what's wrong?" she questioned gently as she watched the little girl slam her lunch back onto her plate looking utterly repulsed.

"I don't want this!" she cried before shoving the plate away and burying her face in her hands.

Michaela sighed heavily, aware that her daughter was about to wage another battle with her. She had hoped that Katie had moved past this stage of throwing temper tantrums over nothing, but apparently today she was regressing slightly.

"Well that's all you're going to get for lunch. I cut the crust off of it for you, so now there's no reason why you can't eat that," Michaela returned knowing she had to stand her ground here.

"No!" she cried as full on tears began to stream down her cheeks.

Hannah soon joined her sister at the table, and looked on in disbelief as Katie began to rage an all out fit over a sandwich.

"Katie, if you don't calm yourself down, you're going to have to sit in time out. I'm giving you a warning," Michaela cautioned.

Katie completely ignored her and continued to cry and scream becoming more distressed by the second.

"All right Katie. I warned you here. Now you have to sit in time out," she said as she scooped her daughter into her arms and began carrying her out of the kitchen.

While Michaela was in the midst of fighting a struggling Katie, Hannah called out to her as she glimpsed over at Katie's plate, "Mommy, I need to tell you something really important."

"Okay, honey. Hang on, I'll be back in a minute," she cried over Katie's screams.

"No, this is really important I need to tell you _now_. Can you please just put Katie down?" she urged.

Michaela had never seen Hannah that forceful about needing to speak with her that very instant. The pleading look in her daughter's eyes told her this was something she shouldn't ignore. So, she set Katie down on the floor and approached Hannah's side.

"Mommy, it's not Katie's fault. Don't put her in timeout," she said gently.

"Honey, I know you are sticking up for your sister, and that's very sweet. But Katie is in trouble for carrying on like that."

"No, you don't understand," she said shaking her head forcefully.

"What don't I understand?" she implored very curious to see what her daughter was referring to.

"She can't eat this sandwich. That's why she's upset."

"What do you mean she can't eat it?" she questioned in confusion.

"Well…" she stammered clearly becoming uncomfortable. "You made the sandwich with strawberry jelly…"

"Yeah?" Michaela said gently placing her arm around her daughter encouraging her to continue.

"I guess you don't know this…" she said fidgeting with her bracelet and refusing to meet Michaela's eyes.

"Don't know what? Honey, it's okay. Please tell me," she said gently.

"Katie can't eat strawberry jelly anymore…"

"Why not?" she asked as her heart plunged to the floor.

"Well a while ago Katie got the flu after she had a sandwich for lunch and dinner with that jelly on it. And then she puked up strawberry jelly for hours. Daddy said it was a really big mess. Anyway, she won't eat it anymore. You have to make her sandwich with grape jelly instead," she explained.

"I didn't know…" she stammered as her daughters words hit her like a blow to the stomach.

"It's okay Mommy. Just make her another sandwich. It'll be okay. I just didn't want her to get in trouble…" Hannah said softly.

"Thank you sweetheart. You're a wonderful big sister," she said softly as she gave Hannah a hug.

"So, you're not mad at me?" she questioned meekly.

"Oh honey of course not! I'm so glad that you told me!" she responded pulling her daughter even closer.

Then, she crossed the room and pulled a sniffling Katie into her arms.

"Katie, Hannah told me why you didn't want to eat your lunch. I'm sorry that I made you something you can't eat. But sweetheart you have to talk to me okay? I didn't know you hated strawberry jelly. If you don't talk to me I can't fix what's wrong. Do you understand?"

She nodded gently as she snuggled even closer into Michaela's arms.

"Promise me that next time you will tell me what's wrong instead of simply crying. You're a big girl now, so you need to tell me when something is upsetting you," Michaela explained.

"Okay," she said nodding her head in agreement.

"All right," Michaela said with a smile. "I'm very sorry sweetheart. Can you go sit back down at the table, and I'll make you another sandwich with grape jelly instead?"

"Yeah," Katie said with a smile as she dashed back over to the table.

As she began to make Katie another sandwich, she literally had to use all the strength she had to keep herself from bursting into tears. She knew she had to prevent that at all costs though, as Hannah had been worried enough about sharing that information with her. If Hannah thought her confession was in any way responsible for Michaela's tears, she would never feel comfortable divulging things to her again.

She couldn't believe what Hannah had told her. Her youngest daughter had been so sick months ago that she absolutely couldn't eat strawberry jelly ever again, and she hadn't a clue whatsoever. She hadn't even known Katie was sick like that, much less that she now had a severe aversion to the sandwich she had just made for her. _What kind of mother doesn't know their child can't eat something? It's not a matter of her simply not liking it. Even Hannah was uncomfortable sharing something with you that you should already know. _

She bit down hard on her bottom lip willing herself not to cry as she realized that as hard as she had tried to prevent this tragedy from affecting her parenting, it had done just that. Months ago she would have marveled at the fact that a mother didn't know something like that about their child, and now she was one of those mothers. She shook her head slightly, attempting to pull herself out of the spell she was under. She willed herself to regain composure and drift back into the present. Removing herself mentally from this situation would only make this problem worse. After all that's what created it in the first place.

She held her composure long enough to sit with the girls while they ate lunch. Then, after they ran off to play in Hannah's room, she headed outside as the tears streamed down her face. She was so used to them falling from her eyelids these days, she didn't even stop to swipe them from her cheeks. As soon as she spotted him on the bottom of the wooden staircase to the deck, she felt the chocking sob burst forth.

"Can I talk to you for a second?" she stammered as she slowly took a seat beside him.

"Of course!" he replied seeing the tears in her eyes. "What's goin' on?" he asked as he wrapped his arm protectively around her.

"Promise me you will answer me honestly," she requested.

"Michaela…" he said softly, slightly aggravated by her request knowing he never told her anything but the truth.

"Promise me," she uttered before taking a deep breath.

"Alright, I promise. What's goin' on?"

"Am I a terrible mother?" she whispered sincerely.

He hadn't expected that to come out of her mouth at all. He wasn't sure the direction she had been heading, but he definitely hadn't seen this veer in the road coming.

"Of course not! How in the world could ya even say that? You're the best mother in the world…." he returned as he gently pushed a strand of her hair back from her face.

"You mean I used to be…." she admitted.

"What do ya mean _used ta be_? You still are. Where is this comin' from?" he questioned in confusion.

"Well, I left my children at daycare after it was closed. I had no clue my oldest daughter had a dance recital, and then she was scared I wouldn't come. And now I find out from my oldest daughter that my youngest was so sick with the flu that she literally can't eat the very sandwich I was forcing on her. Let's face it, I'm a terrible mother…" she finished before falling into his arms.

"No, you're not. Now if ya don't stop sayin' that you're goin' ta make _me_ cry here. Yeah, leavin' them at daycare wasn't great, but like ya said that night it happens to most parents. You are allowed ta make mistakes you know. And not knowin' about the dance recital and Katie gettin' sick was my fault, and I sincerely apologize. It's just that when you were so down ya couldn't even get dressed in the morning, I didn't want ta bother ya with things like Katie is sick. I took care of her, and it was fine. If it had been serious you definitely would've known."

"You shouldn't have had to tell me. I should have just known…" she stammered.

"You aren't psychic, Michaela. You had a rough few months there, and ya still aren't completely back yet. I count my blessings every day that you manage ta get up and dressed and join in our family activities. You have come so far in such a short amount of time here… And ultimately ya have to remember that depression is a chemical imbalance. That's not something ya could have controlled or stopped in any way. Don't be so hard on yourself. Like I said you're the most wonderful mother I have ever met."

"You are too sweet to me," she said softly.

"No, I'm not. You really are wonderful. I stand by what I said all those months ago when ya first started getting sick with this little one… You're the most perfect wife and mother in the whole world," he said flashing a reassuring smile her way.

"Oh Sully, I love you so very much… I still can't believe that I was lucky enough to have moved in right across from you," she said wistfully remembering the day they met.

"God brought us together…" he replied gently.

"Yes, and you are the one I want to be with forever and always."

"Right back at ya, sweetheart," he returned affectionately as he held her close.

* * *

**November 19****th****, 2017 **

"I need to talk to you about something," she said softly as they took a seat on the steel park bench.

"Go for it," he returned as he waved in Katie and Hannah's direction.

"I'm not sure if this is the right time to bring this up…" she stammered trying to meet his gaze, although it remained fixed on their daughters.

"Well Hannah and Katie are goin' ta be in line for the bummer cars for a while, so this seems like as good a time as any," he said with a shrug before glancing around the crowded pier.

"But I'm running out of time…" she finished.

"Running out of time?" he questioned becoming a tad alarmed as he turned to face her fully.

"Yes…"

"Michaela, you're kinda scarin' me here," he replied gripping her hand tightly.

"No, don't be sacred. It's nothing like that," she said quickly.

He simply nodded and squeezed her hand gently urging her to continue.

"Well it's just that…" she began knowing she was going to have to spit this out in one statement.

"Yeah?"

"Audrey really thinks that I need to tell my parents about our son when we go to Boston tomorrow."

"I think Audrey is right," he returned casually.

"You do?" she returned slightly caught off guard.

"Yeah, I do. I talked ta Edmund about it a few months back, and we both thought they should know but I knew it wasn't my place to tell them. Then, we both decided ta let Becca ask ya about it, but I knew that didn't end well… She told me how ya responded to that," he clarified upon seeing the confused look on her face.

"Well, I don't feel any differently about it now. I still don't want to tell them, but Audrey was really insistent that I need to in order to move forward," she admitted.

"I'm sorry honey, but I really agree with Audrey here. I think they need ta know. Imagine if little Hannah was grown and married and carrying a child. Wouldn't you want ta know if her child wasn't healthy? Wouldn't you want to support her through that difficult time?"

"Yes, but I'm not my mother," she retorted.

"Cut her some slack Michaela. She may surprise ya. She surprised me by sidin' with me all those years ago when I was goin' ta take you off of life support. And she surprised us both by supportin' our marriage after she was so against it there in the beginning."

"Yeah…" she answered as his comments flashed through her mind. "You know they are going to pitch a fit that I've known since the end of August and haven't told them. It's almost the end of November…."

"Yes, they will probably be angry that ya kept it from them. But it's only goin' ta get worse the longer ya hide it…" he speculated.

"Unless I never tell them…" she said in a voice barely audible.

"What do ya mean?"

"They can just find out when he's born."

"Michaela, that's not fair, and ya know it," he said with a soft sigh. "Besides they will have surgeons standin' by waitin' ta operate on him. How you goin' ta explain that?"

"I just don't want to deal with them at all," she returned knowing he was right.

"Ya don't have a choice."

"Can't you tell them for me?" she questioned with a tone half playful, half serious.

"No, Audrey wants you ta tell them for a reason. And don't even think about getting Becca to do it either," he cautioned as she sighed in defeat.

"There is a reason behind why ya need to be the one ta do it," he emphasized.

"Will you stay with me? Hold my hand?" she requested her eyes reflecting the dread she felt inside.

"You don't even need ta ask that. There is no doubt that I will be by your side the entire time," he said with a gentle smile.

"I don't even know how to begin to tell them something like this…" she stammered clearly pondering her options.

"I would say that ya need ta talk to the two of them in private about a very sensitive subject. And just let them know that it's really hard for you ta talk about it, and you would appreciate their understanding and respect."

"Okay…" she replied knowing just like Audrey he hadn't left her much of a choice.

"I think it's one of those things ya just need to do. You don't think about it or analyze it, ya simply do it."

She nodded in reply, and before either of them could say another word about it, both Hannah and Katie skipped through the metal gate with huge grins across their faces.

"Did ya guys have fun?" Sully questioned as his daughters arrived at his side.

"Yay!" they both declared happily.

"Can we ride the Ferris Wheel next?" Hannah asked.

They had been taking both girls to the Santa Monica Pier to ride the Ferris Wheel since they were born. Both girls had heard the stories of their parent's courtship, and the role this ride had played. Much like Michaela and Sully they saw the very special meaning behind it.

"Yeah, you bet we can," Sully returned with a smile.

"I want to ride with Mommy," Katie said as she took a seat next to her mother, snuggling up against her.

"Honey, I'm sorry but you're both going to have to ride with your Daddy," Michaela explained.

"Why? Are you not going to ride it?" Katie wondered with a puzzled expression.

"No, sweetheart I can't ride it."

"Why not?" Hannah quickly jumped in becoming concerned.

"Well because your brother is inside of me. Moms with babies inside of them can't ride carnival rides," she explained.

"How come? Will it hurt the baby?" Hannah questioned trying to make sense of what she was being told.

"They don't know honey. So, they tell people not to take any chances. Nobody wants a baby to get hurt," Sully explained gently.

"No, you're right about that," she responded with a nod. "When our brother is born then you can ride it again, right?"

"You bet," Michaela said with a smile. "I'll come sit over there and watch you three ride it."

"Okay," Hannah agreed as a grin made it's way back across her face.

Sully took his daughter's tiny hand into his own and lead the way to the brightly lit ride as Katie and Michaela followed closely behind. She smiled to herself as they approached the gate remembering everything that had happened on this very ride. _Their first kiss… His proposal… And the place she had shared the news with him that she was expecting Hannah._ She immediately thought about the coming years when she would be bringing three children to this park. And for the first time she realized that this was something that her son _could_ do. No matter how he was born he would one day be able to ride the Ferris Wheel with his family, and nothing could take that away.


	19. Chapter 19

**Ch.19 **

**November 20****th****, 2017**

She watched as her daughters quickly scampered up the front stairs with their suitcases in hand. As soon as she saw them safely on the top step, she turned back towards Sully who was retrieving their last suitcase from the trunk of the cab. He flashed her a big grin as he grabbed both suitcases off the ground and began to trek up the front staircase.

"I can carry one of those for you, I hope you know," she offered.

"No way," he quickly responded in protest. "Why does it look like I'm strugglin'?" he teased.

"No, but I feel silly being the only one of the four of us carrying absolutely nothing," she explained.

"You're not carryin' nothing. You're carryin' our son. That's a pretty important job," he replied setting both bags down beside his daughters on the large landing.

"You make a good point," she said with a smile as she watched the air visibly escape his lips.

"What?" she said after he continued to stare at her.

Before he had a chance to respond Hannah tugged on his jacket lightly asking, "Can we please ring the doorbell now?"

They had requested that Hannah and Katie wait for them at the top of the staircase, knowing that Elizabeth hated opening the door for two of them, and then merely waiting for the others to ascend the staircase. She frequently complained that even though the screen door was closed, it still let an excessive amount of cold air into her home simply waiting on Michaela and Sully.

"Yeah, go ahead sweetheart," he answered before venturing the short distance to his wife's side and wrapping his arms around her.

"You didn't answer my question," she teased as she felt his warm breath against her cheek.

"Well, if you were tryin' ta find out why I was starin' at ya, the answer you're lookin' for is simply 'cause you're beautiful," he returned his eyes sparkling.

"I love you," she said softly as her lips quickly found his.

Both inwardly cautioned themselves about taking this too out of control, as they were aware of the two sets of eyes closely watching their every move. She regretfully pulled back slightly upon hearing the girls giggling, knowing that he wasn't about to be the one to severe their connection. As soon as their lips parted, he pulled her in even closer. Then, with a silly grin he stuck his hand in her coat pocket, knowing he was ever so slightly closer.

"Hannah, ring the doorbell again," he requested softly his eyes never leaving hers.

As she fell his gaze penetrating deep inside of her, she whispered softly, "Stop, you're killing me here."

"I can't help it. You always look so darn cute all bundled up in a coat and gloves," he returned with a sensual smile.

Before she could respond the large wooden door finally opened, and both girls shouted 'grandpa' in unison.

He opened the door wide encouraging them to come inside out of the cold Boston afternoon. Both girls quickly tossed their suitcases to the side, and quickly ran into the grandfather's waiting arms.

"Oh, I missed you both so much," Joseph returned with a big smile giving both girls a kiss on the cheek.

"I love you grandpa," Katie said affectionately before heading into Elizabeth's waiting arms.

"I think your doorbell is broken," Hannah ventured.

"Did you ring it?" Joseph returned a little puzzled.

"Yep," Hannah confirmed with a nod.

"Hmm, then I believe you're right. I didn't hear it ring, so it must be broken then. Thank you sweetheart. I'll have somebody take a look at it for me."

"Grandpa, how did you know we were here if you didn't hear the doorbell ring?"

"I heard you and Katie giggling out on the porch," he said with a big smile.

Hannah laughed in return before embracing her grandfather again and heading towards her grandmother.

"Oh, Michaela," he said lovingly as he hugged her tightly.

"We've missed you so much," she returned unable to keep a few tears from falling down her face.

"We think about you four… or wait I should say you five everyday," he stated happily.

"Sully, how are you son?" he questioned as he pulled Sully in for a hug as well.

"I'm doing good thanks. How's everything been around here?"

"Fine. Same old, same old," he returned before turning his gaze back onto his granddaughters.

After greeting a very excited Hannah and Katie, Elizabeth made her way over to Michaela's side.

"Wow, you're getting big," her mother proclaimed.

"Yes…" she returned.

She couldn't help but wonder why that was the first thing out of her mother's mouth. She knew she often read way too much into things that her mother said, but it still bothered her that she didn't even get a simple 'hello' first.

"How have you been?" Elizabeth questioned as she pulled Michaela into her arms.

As soon as those words left her mother's mouth, feelings of dread crept up inside of her once again. She knew that lying to her mother wasn't right, but the true answer to that question was 'terrible'. Yet, she definitely didn't want to respond that way in front of Hannah and Katie either.

"Fine," she said, settling on a simple one-word answer that was partly true.

"Glad to hear it. And the baby is doing all right?" she asked.

Michaela's heart jumped at those very words, knowing she would once again have to lie to her mother. Although this time it would be lying directly to her face, which was one hundred times worse. As she rapidly scanned her brain trying to come up with some feasible answer that would work on both levels, Sully saw the panic in her eyes and quickly jumped in.

"Elizabeth, so great ta see you," he declared pulling her into his arms.

She was slightly caught off guard considering Sully had never been so outwardly affectionate with her the entire nine years she had known him.

"It's great to see you as well," she returned giving him a very puzzled look.

He smiled inwardly knowing that his plan had worked. She had become so distracted by his unusual gesture of affection that she had completely forgotten the question she had asked Michaela.

"Well, girls why don't we go unpack your things upstairs?" Sully suggested.

"Okay," they both agreed before retrieving their pink and purple suitcases and heading up the grand staircase.

"Girls?" Joseph called up after them.

"Yeah?" Hannah returned glimpsing back in his direction.

"When you both are finished, I've got a surprise I want to show you in the basement," he happily announced.

"I can't wait!" Hannah returned excitedly running to catch up with Katie who was already halfway up the stairs.

"Do you know when Becca, Edmund, and the children are arriving?" Michaela asked, turning towards her father.

"She told me to expect them late this afternoon around five," he returned with a smile.

"Thanks," she said before following Sully's lead up the staircase.

When they were out of earshot of her parents, she turned to him with a grin splayed across her face.

"Thank you so much for saving me back there."

"No problem," he returned with a quick wink. "But that should have told ya that you can't hold off on this much longer…"

"I know," she answered softly. "That's why I asked when Becca was going to be here."

"Michaela, ya can't make her tell them for you…" he cautioned.

"No," she returned with a small laugh. "I want her to take Katie and Hannah outside when we discuss it. I don't want there to be any chance of them accidentally overhearing the conversation. And I'm suspecting some yelling, so overhearing won't be difficult…"

"You know they might not yell at all," he said as he set their suitcases down in her childhood bedroom.

"I highly doubt that…" she returned with a skeptical look.

"They might just pull you into their arms, and tell ya how sorry they are to hear that," he speculated.

"No, that would definitely be too much to hope for…" she returned eyes downcast as her mind played through their probable reactions.

"Well if they don't, then I will," he returned wrapping his arms around her from behind.

"I know… I can always count on you," she said softly.

"Forever. I will never let ya down as long as I live," he whispered in her ear.

She smiled slightly as she leaned back further into his arms. After taking a deep breath, she told herself over and over that she had nothing to worry about. At the end of the day no matter how they reacted he would still be there to pull her into his arms.

* * *

She swallowed hard as the anxiety of the situation was literally making her nauseous. She turned her eyes from the anxious looks on the two faces in front of her to her sweet daughters running around outside in their matching black peacoats. She smiled wistfully thinking back to the many autumn days when she ran around that very yard.

He glimpsed over at her knowing that she had once again removed herself from the present. He could still feel her mother and father's stares penetrating the two of them as they sat at the opposite end of the dining room table. The look of panic slowly creeping its way onto both of their faces was almost too much to take. He nudged her gently hoping it would bring her out of the daze she seemed to be in. However, she still looked lost as her eyes watched Hannah chase Katie and Addison through the yard with Rebecca watching.

"Michaela, honey you're scaring us here," Joseph began after the deafening silence was attempting to strangle all four of them. "You said you had something really important to tell us. So, what's going on?"

Upon hearing her father's words she turned her gaze back to her parents, opening her mouth to speak but no words would come out.

Sully's left hand was tightly gripping her delicate hand in a linked bond set gently on the wooden table as he turned towards her slightly. The look of total and complete anxiety and apprehension across her pale features took his breath away. He moved his free hand onto her thigh offering his silent support in yet another way. He wished more then anything that he could jump in here for her and simply tell them. However, he knew that she had to be the one to say it aloud. It was just so difficult to watch her struggle and be able to do nothing in return.

"Michaela, please say something," Elizabeth cried in frustration as it was clear the fear inside of her was growing stronger by the second.

She took a few deep breaths trying to calm herself down as she could feel the panic flowing through her very veins. Their stares were piercing through her, and she felt as if she would burst as her skin flamed with the dread from deep inside. She tried to will herself to just say the words and get it over with, but she physically couldn't do it. Though the words were clear in her mind, they were jumbled beyond recognition in her mouth.

Elizabeth turned her gaze from a visibly distraught Michaela over to Sully. "What exactly is going on? She has us both filled with uncontrollable worry here. It's obvious that she can't or won't tell us the problem. I'm asking you to please share it with us," Elizabeth pleaded.

"Honestly, I wish I could," he replied sadly. "This is really something that needs ta come from her mouth, and she knows that. I know you guys are really worried here, but she needs ta be the one to voice this."

"Well she won't do it, and I'm loosing patience here. This agony of waiting for her to drop this news is awful," she replied with a mix of exasperation and fear.

"I'm sorry, but like I said it needs ta come from her," he reiterated.

Elizabeth responded by rolling her eyes in frustration before turning her penetrating stare onto Michaela once again.

"Mike, come on please share whatever it is that's tearing you apart like this. Sweetie, we want to help you here, but you have to clue us in," he said softly gazing directly into her very soul.

His eyes were filled with such sheer desperation that she could barely stand to look into them. He was pleading with her to let him into her heart. No matter how impossibly difficult this was she knew that very second she had no other choice. The man who had held her while she cried, put mermaid band-aids on her scraped knees, played catch with her in the backyard, and been her best friend since the day she was born wanted to know what was causing his daughter so very much visible pain. She couldn't keep this from him a second longer. It truly wasn't fair to either of them.

"It's just that…. It's just…. Something is wrong… with our son…" she finally uttered eyes filled with unreleased tears.

As soon as the words slipped from her lips, both Joseph and Elizabeth stared back at her in utter disbelief.

"What honey? What's wrong?" Joseph replied immediately.

"He has…" she began before the tears fell at such a violent pace she turned and fell into Sully's arms.

Elizabeth and Joseph simply sat in stunned silence. Neither could speak as both were completely taken aback by her response, as thoughts of what terrible news could illicit such a reaction from their youngest daughter danced through their heads.

"Shh sweetheart. It's okay," Sully said softly as he held her close.

He gently cupped her face in his hands bringing it up slightly to look directly into her eyes.

"Honey, look at me. Ya need to just say it. Say it aloud. You're thinkin' about it too much here. Just say it in a rush of words, and get it out. I remember what it was like the first time I said it."

"Yeah?" she said through a sniffle.

"I said it ta Becca, and it took me several tries. But once I finally said it out loud, it wasn't so hard ta say it again. Come on I know ya can do this. Look at them," he prompted. "Ya have them totally panicked here. You need ta share this with them right this second. Don't make this any worse then it has ta be."

Throughout the entire deep conversation between Michaela and Sully, both Elizabeth and Joseph looked on in total disbelief. Neither one could pull themselves back into the reality of the situation long enough to ask again what they had yet to be told, although each longed to understand what in the world was so terrible. Whatever this news happened to be it was so awful that their daughter couldn't bring herself to say the words aloud.

"Michaela…" Joseph whispered unable to express what he was really feeling inside.

"He's going to be born with…. a birth defect," she stammered still unable to say those two words aloud as they were circling through her brain.

"What birth defect?" her father questioned barely holding back the tears in his eyes.

She turned her eyes back to Sully once again, and he wrapped his arm around her tightly as he whispered in her ear, "I promise you'll feel better if ya just say it. Once you utter those two words, I'll take over for ya. But you have ta say them yourself."

His words were enough to force her into a confession, and she dramatically burst forth the two words like she was trying to rid herself of poison. As soon as the words 'spina bifida' slipped from her mouth, she let herself melt into a puddle of despair in Sully's arms.

With his strong arms wrapped around her, she buried her face in his chest knowing she couldn't see the looks on their faces. Sully had been right, though. She had realized it as soon as she finally released those words. It was a tremendous relief to finally say them out loud, but she knew the worst still wasn't over yet. She had yet to even begin to deal with her mother or father's reactions. They were bound to be completely livid with her for refusing to share this with them. Especially her father, as he would know how many months exactly that she had known about this and not told either one of them. She began to count the agonizing seconds they remained silent as her sobs where the only audible noise in the room.

Sully looked up from his distraught wife buried deep in his arms to the two faces starring back at him. Joseph looked exactly the way he imagined he looked upon receiving the news. It was a mix of shock, terror, anxiety, and disbelief. Elizabeth's expression was completely unreadable. It reminded him of the exact look Michaela had across her face as they had waited in that room for James so many months ago. It was as if she had totally removed herself from the present and was in another place entirely, as her gaze looked as detached and distant as possible.

He took a deep breath knowing he had to say _something_. Up until this moment he had assumed they would immediately bombard them with questions, to which he was completely prepared to answer. He hadn't been prepared for this silence. As soon as he opened his mouth slightly, attempting to start the conversation again, Elizabeth stood from the table and stormed out of the room.

Hearing her mother angrily stomp from the room, she slowly picked her head up. And though she knew it wouldn't end well, she glanced over to see her father's expression. Her stomach dropped to her feet as her eyes took in the raw hurt dripping from his face. This man who had meant so much to her was beyond devastated. She knew that look of pain wasn't really from the news itself. His heart was shattered the second he had realized that she had kept this from him for exactly three months. Three months she had been lying to one of her best friends, and she knew he would never truly forgive her for that. At the time she had thought it was best to hide it from them, but now sitting before him she knew she had made a very dire mistake.

Joseph slowly stood from his chair, and Michaela panicked slightly at the thought of him reacting the very same way her mother had moments before. But Joseph was very different from his wife, and as he began to walk to the other end of the long dining table her heart beat faster trying to contemplate what he planned to do.

"Sully, would you mind giving us a moment alone?" he asked gently.

"Uhhh sure," he replied, knowing that even though he didn't want to leave her in distress, she needed to make amends with her father.

He tenderly released his hold on Michaela, placing a kiss on her forehead before departing from the room. Joseph soon took Sully's seat, and grasped her shaking hand as she turned her gaze towards the floor.

"Mike, please look at me," he pleaded.

She hopelessly wanted to continue to avoid this discussion in which she would have to explain her appalling choice. However, she knew that would only make the situation worse. At some point she would have to face the choices she had made….

"That's better," he returned brushing a tear from her cheek. "You want to tell me why you won't look at me?"

"I…I…I just feel so awful…I made such a poor decision and seeing that look on your face is simply too much…" she managed to choke out.

"What decision are you talking about?" he inquired gently.

"I should have told you the truth when I found out. You and I both know that Sully and I have had this information for three months now. I kept the truth from you for three months, and I will never forgive myself for that… I was so very wrong."

"Why didn't you tell me? I thought we told each other everything? I don't understand why you would keep something like this a secret…Why when we asked about your son, you said he was fine…"

"It hurt too much…I don't think anything has ever pierced my heart that way…I didn't talk about it at all for weeks. Then, when I finally acknowledged that it was true I couldn't fathom what it would be like to deliver such awful news. So, I put it off, and I continued to tell myself that it was better if you didn't know," she explained with deep regret.

"Better for who?" he returned delicately.

"You… and mother," she replied hesitantly.

"Keeping someone in the dark is almost never better for either party involved."

She nodded in agreement as she knew he spoke the truth.

"I'm only upset that you kept this from us because we could have helped you sweetheart. I can't imagine what it has been like for both you and Sully to suffer through the agony of such heartbreaking news for months. I wish I could have been there for you… This is still clearly ripping you apart, and it's so difficult for me to see such misery present in your eyes and in your heart. A parent's greatest pain is seeing their child suffer…."

"That's one of the reasons I didn't want to tell you…" she stammered through a new batch of tears.

"I understand that honey, I truly do. I know how difficult it was for you to tell us this even today. But you have to promise me you won't ever do this again. I couldn't take being lied to like this ever again, and I don't think your mother could either. You have to know that no matter what it is you can tell us," he said placing his hand tenderly across her arm.

"I promise, and I'm so very sorry. Do you think you will ever be able to forgive me?" she uttered.

"Oh, sweetie of course I forgive you. I understand that you only did what you thought was right at the time. You've acknowledged that it was the wrong course of action, and that's truly all you can do. Consider it forgotten," he said with a loving smile.

"Thank you," she whispered in gratitude, and he quickly responded by pulling her into his arms.

"I'm so very sorry sweetheart," he said with love as the tears began to fall from his dark brown eyes.

"Father, what am I going to do?" she whispered as the agony of the situation hit her once again.

He knew exactly what she was referring to and gently stated, "Exactly what you have been doing for the last three months, putting one foot in front of the other. It will get better. Have faith that everything will turn out all right."

"I love you so much," she said quietly through tears.

"I love you, too. I promise I will do everything I can to help you make it through this in one piece," he returned.

"I know," she stated in almost a whisper.

As her father held her in his arms, she couldn't help but remember all the years he had done the very same when she was young. He had been the one she'd turned to when girls at school had mercilessly teased her for being so different from them… When a boyfriend had broken her heart… When she was harassed for throwing the curve off on a test once again… When her mother wouldn't let her be exactly who she was… When the school coach wouldn't let a girl play baseball… So many times he had been able to fix it. This time there was nothing he could do to change it, but it still meant the world to her that he was there, holding her close.

* * *

**November 21****st****, 2017**

She took a deep breath forcing herself not to pace back down the hallway again. For the last fifteen minutes she had been trying to will herself to enter the living room. Every time she placed one foot in the doorway, she would immediately retract it and pace back down the hall. Before she would take more than a step back up the staircase that voice in the back of her head would say, _Sully is right. You need to talk to her now. Stop putting it off and go confront her. _Then, she would make her way down the hall starting the process over again.

This time as she stuck her left foot in the doorway, she was startled by her mother's voice stating, "How many more times are you going to do that before you simply decide to come in the room?"

She hadn't realized her mother had noticed, as she seemed very absorbed in the book she was reading. At this point she knew she no longer had a choice, and as she tentatively approached her mother the knots in her stomach grew tighter by the second.

"Can I talk to you?" she questioned softly as she took a seat across from her mother.

"Sure, go ahead," she ventured not glancing up from her book.

"Well, can you please put the book down?" she requested slightly aggravated.

"Fine. What is it?" she replied in frustration as she closed her book shut.

"I want to talk about yesterday…" she started unsure of what exactly she should say.

"What about it?" her mother returned.

Clearly she wasn't going to make this conversation easy. Michaela bit down on her lower lip knowing that every minute she sat here would be only more painful than the last.

"About what I told you…"

"What about it?" she reiterated.

"Do you have anything you want to say? I mean that was pretty shocking news…" she stammered averting her eyes from her mother's stare.

"No, I don't. Do you have anything you want to share with me?" she retorted once again turning the questioning back onto Michaela.

"No… Mother, I fainted when I found out. And you have nothing you want to say? Nothing at all? I told you your grandson isn't healthy, and you don't have a reply whatsoever?"

"Dear, what do you want me to say?"

"I don't know…" she stuttered completely caught off guard. "Just something… anything…"

They sat in silence for several moments listening to the grandfather clock tick the seconds away. She knew her mother wasn't going to budge on this one. She had obviously decided to carry this anger over the fact that Michaela had kept this quiet for so long. She sighed softly knowing that no matter what she said this was pretty much a lost cause.

"Mother, I'm terribly sorry that I didn't tell you when I first found out. I made a very poor decision, and I regret it immensely. I once again offer you my sincere apology for deceiving you and Father for so long. Even if I had the best of intentions it was still very wrong, and I'm sincerely remorseful," she finished.

"Thank you darling. I appreciate your apology," she returned simply.

"That's it?" Michaela returned incredulous.

"I'm sorry, what's it?"

"You truly have nothing else to say?" Michaela wondered.

"I truly do not," she answered before picking up her book again and returning to its pages full of intrigue.

She sighed heavily before retreating from the room knowing that discussion had solved absolutely nothing. She had hoped to resolve this conflict before Thanksgiving dinner Thursday, but apparently her mother was insisting on carrying this on longer. She swiped a stray tear from her cheek as she stormed up the large staircase. Half way down the hall she ran into Sully, who immediately stopped her in her tracks as he pulled her into his arms.

"Did ya talk to her?" he asked lightly.

"Yes…"

"What did she say?"

"Nothing…" she replied so softly he could barely hear her.

"Nothing?" he returned in surprise.

"Nothing…" she repeated.

He let out a small chuckle, and she glared at him in complete outrage.

"Why in the world are you _laughing_ about this?" she cried incensed.

"Honey, I'm sorry," he stammered as his laughter only increased.

"Okay, I have to say you are really hurting me here," she said in genuine distress.

"I'm sorry," he responded making more of an effort to control his laughter. "Let me explain it to ya."

"I wish you would!" she stated loosing more patience by the second.

"It's just that you're always tellin' me how different ya are from your mother, and how you two have nothin' in common."

"Yeah... What does that have to do with anything?" she replied still failing to see the connection.

"Don't ya see you're more alike than you realize? That's the exact same reaction you had. I kept askin' ya to talk ta me, and you kept sayin' there was nothin' ta talk about," he finished with a small smile.

"My God… You're right…" she stammered as she began to see what he saw, although she didn't find it so amusing.

"It looks like you two do have some things in common," he said flashing her a wide smile.

"Sweetheart, what's wrong?" he questioned as the smile quickly evaporated from his face upon seeing tears cascading down her cheeks.

"Sully, I'm so very sorry…" she said through a chocking sob.

"Sorry?" he replied confused.

"Yes, sorry…" she repeated through tears of distress.

"Here let's sit down," he suggested leading her over to a set of armchairs in the corner of the large hallway.

"It must have been so awful for you…" she began her eyes fixed on his deep blue ones.

"I guess I never thought about what it was really like to be you… What you must have felt like when I refused to talk… All I was thinking about was how painful it was for me to face the news and discuss it aloud. That entire time I failed to see how much I hurt you… You must have hated me at times…"

"I _never_ hated you. I will never hate you. I love you more than anythin' else in the world. Yes, ya frustrated me several times, but I understood it was just your way of dealin' with the pain. Don't cry about it honey. It's over and done with now. Really it's not a big deal. You talked to me eventually, it just took some work on my part," he said with a smile as he stroked her cheek with the back of his hand.

"Just do one thing for me okay?" he questioned once he saw she had calmed down again.

"Anything."

"Be patient with your ma. I guess this is how the Quinn women deal with this type of news," he teased.

"What about Becca?" she said flashing him a small smile. She knew that her sister had been quick to accept and want to discuss the issue much like Sully and her father.

"Okay, then this is how the crazy Quinn women deal with terrible news," he corrected raising an eyebrow playfully.

"I'm not crazy!" she cried in mock disgust, slapping him playfully.

"Yeah ya are," he said with a grin.

"Byron Sully, you take that back right now, or you're sleeping in the hallway tonight!"

"Okay. Okay, I take it back," he relented before placing a soft kiss on her lips. "Promise me you will be patient with her, though."

"I promise," she said as she wiped her cheeks once again.

"Thank you. Now let's go find Hannah and Katie. They were tellin' me your dad just bought a pinball machine for the basement?"

"Yeah, he told me that over the phone," she confirmed.

"Well let's go see this then," he said with a smile, as he took her gently by the hand and helped her to her feet.

As she followed him down the large staircase to the main level, she couldn't help but realize once again how blessed she was to have him in her life. Every time she needed him he was there for her without fail. She knew she could always depend on him no matter what the situation, and that made her love him more than she had ever believed possible.


	20. Chapter 20

**Ch.20 **

**November 21****st****, 2017 **

As Sully stepped into the kitchen, he immediately spotted Joseph sitting at the table clearly deep in thought. He retrieved a glass from the cabinet, and then grabbed a bottle of water from the refrigerator and joined his father-in-law at the table.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" Joseph inquired as Sully's presence at the table jolted him out of his thoughts.

"Yeah, of course."

"Would you be up for a walk around the block?" he suggested wanting to discuss this away from all the prying ears currently staying in his house.

"Sure, that would be great. Just let me go grab my coat," he quickly replied.

"Where's Michaela?" he quickly questioned knowing his daughter would wonder where they had gone.

"Oh, she's upstairs sleepin'. She should be out for a while yet," Sully said with a friendly smile.

"Oh okay. I'll meet you at the front door in about five minutes?"

"Sounds great," Sully responded before heading upstairs to grab his jacket.

* * *

As they walked down the sidewalk, Sully zipped his coat shut as the brisk Boston air sent a chill running through his veins.

"I just wanted to thank you…" Joseph began.

"Thank me?"

"Yes. I saw how you took care of my daughter yesterday… And I talked with Becca after you both shared this news with us. I know everything you have done for her since you both received such terrible news," he explained.

"Of course. She's my wife, and I love her," he responded.

"I knew the day that you married her that you intended to take care of her for the rest of your life. But I can't thank you enough for loving her the way that you do. It's written all over your face when you hold her. It tears me apart inside to know that she didn't feel that she could confide something like this in me, but I will thank God every day that she is so blessed to have you as a husband. It's one of the most comforting feelings in the world to know that you take care of my little girl the way she deserves. I know it wasn't easy for you to break through to her in the beginning, and so many men would have given up on her. However, you never did. I will never be able to tell you how much it means to me to know that Michaela will always have your love and support."

"You don't ever have ta thank me for that. You're right I have given her my love and support, but she has done the very same for me. Your daughter is the reason I get up in the morning. She's the one I long ta be with every second of every day. When I wake up in the morning, it's her face I want to see. When I married her, I promised ta take care of her in good times and in bad. Well, unfortunately we are in the bad right now, but I know that we will make it through this."

"I know you will too, son," Joseph returned confidently.

"I can't tell ya how sorry I am that we didn't tell you both sooner. I knew it wasn't my place to call and tell ya behind her back, and she was very adamant about keeping this from you two," Sully explained sadly.

"I just don't understand that…" Joseph stammered clearly trying to make sense of his daughter's actions.

"Well, Becca talked ta her, and she had almost every reason in the book not to tell ya. Becca thought it was simply a case of her not wantin' ta deal with tellin' anyone or talkin' about it any further, which I think was exactly the issue. She made Becca and me promise not to tell ya both. I encouraged her every chance I had ta change her mind, but it never worked."

"What did you say that made her decide to tell us now?" Joseph wondered.

"Well, I can't take credit for that. She decided she should tell ya because Audrey told her how important it was for her if she wanted to get better."

"Audrey?" he asked clearly perplexed.

"Oh, did Becca not tell ya about that? I just assumed since ya talked with her…"

"She told me Michaela was seeing a therapist," he ventured.

"Yeah, Audrey is the therapist. Anyway, she told Michaela it was really important for her ta tell you both during this trip. She specifically said that Michaela needed ta be the one to tell ya both, too. That's why I had ta hold back yesterday, even when she was havin' such a difficult time there," he explained.

"I see…. Any clue why Audrey wanted her to tell us now?"

"No, I actually don't know. Maybe it was just the fact that she could tell ya in person rather than over the phone."

"Yes, maybe you are onto something there. Either way I'm just glad that we know now," he replied in a dejected tone.

"Listen, ya have to understand that she wasn't tryin' ta hurt you by keepin' this a secret. She has been really lost these last few months. She hasn't been goin' ta work, and she was literally hidin' from the world…I've done everything I can ta guide her back to where she needs to be, and she's doin' so much better. But hidin' that from you was something she did to try to save herself from drowning when the water was risin' too high. You and I both know that ya could have helped me save her, but she didn't see that at the time. I just want ya to know how very much you mean ta her. She talks about ya all the time, and how much your love shaped her growin' up and still does today."

"Thank you Sully," he replied sincerely.

"Anytime," he returned as they continued their walk along the streets of Boston.

He smiled to himself as he imagined a younger version of his wife walking along these very streets in her white and red school uniform. He could tell by the look in Joseph's eyes that he was doing the very same thing, imagining a time when he could solve all of his daughter's problems…A time when she confided everything in him. Sully only hoped that he had been able to accurately convey some of Michaela's reasoning behind shutting out the parents that loved her so very much. Initially he hadn't really understood it either, until he realized that she had shut the world out. It was only those that had forced down her door that were able to get back in. That's exactly what he had done… forced her door down. Or rather forced her wall down. He now had to figure out how to break through to Elizabeth. Because he knew, much like Michaela, she needed to talk about this but would remain stubbornly resistant.

* * *

**November 22****nd****, 2017 **

He grabbed his jacket from the coat rack in the hallway and zipped in tight, knowing how cold he felt outside in Boston. Neither Michaela or her parents seemed to think this time of year was that bad, but after living on the west coast for most of his life he was always freezing in Boston. He had decided to take a walk out back having had enough of Joseph and Edmund's discussion on wine. He wasn't much of a wine drinker to begin with, but he especially didn't care to discuss vintage discrepancies and grape crop projections in a wine cellar for hours.

As soon as he stepped outside, he spotted Elizabeth sitting on the porch with that same glazed over look he had seen on her daughter's face so many times in the last several months. He sat down in a chair beside her knowing this was his chance to attempt to break through to another stubborn Quinn woman.

"Hey, how's it going?" he started casually.

"Fine," she answered still looking a thousand miles away.

"Why didn't you go shoppin' with the girls?" he questioned knowing it odd that Elizabeth hadn't joined her daughters.

"I just needed time to think I guess…" she ventured.

"Are you sure you're alright? Ya look a million miles from here…"

"Honestly, I'm not sure how you would like me to respond," she said softly.

"To be frank with you, I would like ta hear the truth," he responded.

"I don't think that you would…"

"I understand if ya don't want to talk about it, but don't pretend like it isn't botherin' you. 'Cause I know that it's definitely weighin' on your mind," he returned gently.

"Does Michaela truly hate us that much?" she questioned as she turned to face him.

"What?" he said in total surprise. He hadn't expected to hear those words from her mouth at all.

"Of course she doesn't hate you! She loves ya both so much, and so do the girls and I."

"Then, how could you both keep something like this a secret? How could she lie to her own mother and father for three solid months?" she asked the hurt shining in her eyes.

He took a deep breath before beginning the long explanation he knew he had to give.

"There is no easy answer ta that question. Michaela has been havin' an incredibly hard time dealin' with this. At first she wouldn't discuss it with me at all. When I finally got her ta break down about it, I thought things would get better. Well, I was very wrong. She ended up skippin' out on work and lyin' ta me about it, and basically hidin' from the entire world. Becca and I took her to see a therapist, who told us she was clinically depressed. She's been goin' ta see this girl for over two months, and she's been doin' so much better. However, she still has some really bad times.

Anyway, what I'm tryin' ta tell you is that she's had a real difficult time handlin' this situation. I really don't think she meant ta hurt either of you. She told Becca that it just hurt her too much ta talk about it with anyone. I also think a part of her knew what kind of pain that news brings, and she didn't want to be the one to deliver news like that. It was easier for her to pretend everything was fine when ya called and asked about him. I wanted ta tell you both, but I knew it was wrong ta go over her head," he finished sadly.

"We didn't deserve to know? We could have been there for her… I could have been there for her… For both of you…" she said sorrowfully.

"You still can," he replied as he placed his hand gently on top of hers.

"It's not too late ya know. This is just the beginnin' of an incredibly long journey. Michaela and our son will need your love and support. Our entire family will…"

"How did you even begin to accept something like this? I just don't even know where to begin…" she returned.

"Ya take it one day at a time. You pray constantly and always focus on what you do have instead of what you're missin'," he explained.

"I'm truly amazed at how well you seem to be coping with this…"

"I did what I had to… What I still have to in order ta be there for my wife and for my family. Every time I think about how I feel, I always remind myself of what Michaela must be goin' through having him inside of her… She's constantly reminded of this awful news… She literally can't escape it. Not like I can…"

"Yes…" she agreed.

"I know you're havin' a difficult time processing this, and it doesn't help that ya found out she was lyin' ta you about it for months. But Michaela really needs you. She may not want ta admit it, but I think you understand what she goin' through in a way only other mothers can understand. She needs you ta talk to her Elizabeth. I know ya don't want to discuss it, 'cause like I said your daughter reacted the very same way. But I think it's really important that ya open up and talk to her. She desperately wants the support of her mother through this difficult time. Whether she admits that aloud or not, I know that it's true."

"I just don't even know where to begin…" she admitted.

"Then, don't start with how you feel. Start with how she feels. Let her tell ya what it feels like as a mother to receive news like that, and then just hold her. If ya can't bring yourself to share your own feelings yet, just listenin' to hers will mean the world ta her," he spoke sincerely.

"You honestly think she never intended to hurt us?"

"Yes. I completely believe she thought she was handlin' the situation right at the time. We both know that she made a poor decision, but I don't think she had any intention of hurtin' either one of you. She loves ya both so very much…"

"Thank you Sully," she returned softly.

"You bet. Just think about talkin' to her for me? Alright?" he requested.

She purely nodded in response.

"And if ya ever want ta talk again, you know where to find me…" he stated sympathetically.

She nodded again as she flashed a small smile his way. He winked in return before standing, and then making his way down the porch steps and walking along the small gravel path through the yard.

Elizabeth watched as he walked away, and she couldn't help but marvel at his perceptiveness and empathy. She once again realized how very wrong she was to ever doubt that this man was the one for her daughter. He constantly thought about his wife's feelings, and in this true time of crisis his only thoughts were of her. She took a deep breath knowing what she had to do as soon as the girls returned. Although she didn't feel ready in any sense of the word to discuss this, she realized that Sully was right. Michaela needed her support and compassion. So, no matter how angry she still was that her daughter had lied to her for months, she simply had to put that aside for the time being. Michaela needed her understanding and sympathy, which is exactly what she was going to give her.

* * *

As soon as she heard the front door click shut and the sounds of her granddaughters' joyful laugher, she knew the time had come. The girls had arrived home from their day full of shopping, and she was eager to attempt to talk to Michaela as Sully had suggested.

"Michaela, can I talk to you for a few moments?" she requested upon approaching her daughter about to ascend the large staircase.

She glanced nervously from her mother over to Rebecca, knowing the exact discussion her mother was finally ready to have with her. She knew the pent up aggression and anger that would inevitably ensue once they truly began to talk about that dreadful lie she had been telling for months. Her stomach began to churn at the thought of another conversation with her mother that would consist of screams and hateful words and end with tears and hurt feelings.

Rebecca saw the hesitation written all over her sister's face, and knew she needed a slight push. She nudged her slightly before saying, "Go on Michaela. I'll watch Hannah and Katie."

"Okay," she answered meekly knowing she had been cornered and now had no other choice.

She followed her mother into the living room, taking a seat directly across from her. They sat in silence for several moments, neither one knowing how to start this conversation. Elizabeth swallowed hard as she tried to ignore the voice telling her she needed to be the one to start this, but it was impossible. After all this had to be more painful for Michaela then it was for her.

"So, you fainted when you found out?" she started.

"Yes… Would you have reacted differently?" Michaela bit back convinced her mother's statement had been intended to attack.

"Honestly, I can't even imagine. I can tell you that I wouldn't be standing in one piece as you are now," she replied softly.

"What?" Michaela replied totally caught off guard. Her mother's last comment had seemed almost _sympathetic_.

"I don't know how you get up in the morning. It must take so much strength to overcome the pain…" Elizabeth speculated.

"Yes, it truly does," she answered completely floored by her mother's words.

Elizabeth reached for her daughter's hand before saying gently, "Oh, Michaela I'm so sorry…"

Her mother's compassionate words were her undoing, and she felt the tears of despair began to trickle down her face. She had expected anger, frustration, and betrayal to spill from her mother's words and heart. But instead her eyes were filled with compassion and sympathy, and her words full of comfort.

"I feel awful saying this… I haven't told anyone else… Other than Audrey…" she whispered.

Upon hearing her daughter's confession, she was at first filled with confusion. Then, her mind connected the dots, and she realized Audrey must be the therapist Michaela had been seeing. From there she almost gasp from shock that Michaela planned to share something with her that no one else had heard… Not Sully, not Rebecca, not even Joseph…

"I almost dread the day he will be born… Isn't that an awful thing to say? That I'm utterly terrified of the day I will bring my son into the world? He's safe and secure now, but in less than two months he won't be anymore. His life will be filled with pain and suffering from the day he enters the world…"

She looked into her daughter's eyes only to see unimaginable torment and throbbing heartache. It was the worst look she had ever seen on her youngest daughter's face, and she would have given anything to wipe it away like chalk on a slate.

"That's not an awful thing to say at all," she returned before standing from her chair and joining her daughter on the couch.

"As a parent there is no greater pain in the world then seeing your child suffer. That pain is magnified by the fact that he will be so young when his struggle begins. It's not fair that he has to endure such a sentence the day he enters the world. Such tragedies make one question the reasoning behind why this has to happen. Of course, you would want him to stay inside of you forever."

"Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way," Michaela replied as she wiped her hand across her face.

"No, it doesn't. What you have to focus on is what you _can_ do for him. You can't keep him from ever feeling pain, and you can't keep him inside of you forever. But you can love him, hold him, and do everything in your power to ease his suffering," Elizabeth said as she wiped a tear from her own eye.

Michaela nodded remembering Audrey's similar words of encouragement. She knew both women were right, and even though she had heard these words before they meant so much more coming from her mother's mouth.

"I keep picturing him… on the operating table…" she admitted through a sob as she bit down hard on her lower lip.

Elizabeth could only stare in reply as her mind tried to conjure the images that must be flooding through her daughter's mind.

"I know what they will do to him… I can perfectly imagine surgeons cutting on my child….I can see them cutting apart my baby boy…" she choked out in anguish.

"Oh, sweetheart," she uttered knowing she would never understand how her daughter felt this very moment.

Her daughter was simply too knowledgeable about this subject. She knew things that other parents in this situation didn't. She had information that only harmed her and made coping with something like this even more difficult. Michaela could perfectly and completely picture a surgery that most parents probably had very little comprehension of even the basic concepts behind.

"Have you operated on babies with spina bifida?" she wondered almost afraid of the answer.

"Yes… I've been part of the team of surgeons," she managed to admit.

"When you operated on another parent's precious son or daughter did you not do everything in your power to save that child's life?"

"Of course…" she spoke in a whisper.

"And didn't the entire team of surgeons ensure that the child was never in any pain?" Elizabeth questioned.

"Well yes…"

"That's what you need to focus on here. Don't let yourself picture him in surgery; it will only drive you so far into despair that you can't get yourself out. Instead picture him after the surgery. After the surgeons have done everything in their power to help your son live and made sure the entire time that he was never in any pain. Focus on what it will be like to hold him in your arms for the first time…"

A slight smile crept across her face as she pictured holding her son in her arms for the very first time. She could clearly recall exactly what it felt like to hold little Hannah and Katie in her arms. It was one of the most incredible feelings in the world to which nothing else would ever compare.

Her smile only grew larger as she realized her mother had been able to do something for her today that she had never done before. Today her mother had donned the superhero cape and saved her from unhappiness. Growing up her father had always held that role in her life, but now her mother had been able to help alleviate some of her pain in a way no one else could. She hadn't shared these thoughts with Sully for fear he too would begin to picture their son in such an awful way. She had completely believed that any conversation on this topic with her mother would only end in tears of frustration and anger. However, she had been very wrong.

"You can see that sweet little boy in your arms now can't you?" Elizabeth asked as she saw the smile across her daughter's tear-stained face.

"Yes…" she returned with a nod.

"Keep that picture in your mind. That's where your thoughts need to be."

"Thank you," Michaela whispered with an affection Elizabeth had only heard her daughter use with her father.

Elizabeth simply nodded as Michaela wrapped her arms tightly around her. In that very moment, she knew Sully had been right. Michaela had never intended to hurt her or Joseph. She had purely been so distraught and conflicted that she hadn't realized the poor decision she was making. And as she held her daughter close, she finally felt that deep connection with her youngest daughter that she had always strived to find for years. Michaela had finally let her into her heart in a way she never had before, and all it had taken was a genuine effort on her part to ask her daughter to open it.

* * *

**November 23****rd****, 2017**

"Katie, is that enough mashed potatoes or do you want more?" Michaela questioned looking down at her daughter's plate.

"No, I want more," she returned anxiously.

"You forgot something," Michaela cautioned with a spoonful of potatoes in hand.

"Please," Katie quickly added with a smile.

"That's more like it," she replied as she added more potatoes to her daughter's plate.

"Hey, can you send those over my way when you're finished? Somehow in the process of helping Addie with her plate I forgot about mine," Edmund asked with a grin.

"Sure," she returned sweetly carefully handing him the china bowl.

"Geez," Sully returned glancing from Hannah's plate over to Michaela's on his left side.

"What?" she responded while in the process of adding a few green beans to Katie's plate.

"Think you've got enough sweet potatoes there? Holy cow!" he exclaimed shaking his head at her playfully.

"Hey, don't you remember you aren't allowed to make fun of me on Thanksgiving for eating too much? Didn't we establish that when I was pregnant with Katie?" she said giving him a playful nudge.

"Well ya make it too easy!" he teased.

"You have to be fair here. I'm eating for two people," she said with a smile.

He smiled back in return his heart filled with happiness upon seeing her eyes sparkling again. It had been such a long time since she'd looked at him with joy like that shining in her multi-colored eyes.

"Okay, you're right. I'll cut ya some slack," he returned with a wink.

"Well if he can't make fun of you can I?" Edmund questioned with a smirk.

"No, definitely not," she said through a laugh.

"Ahh you're no fun!" he said in playful defeat.

"Until you've been pregnant you can't comment on the crazy amount or type of food _your_ child makes us eat," Rebecca jumped in giving her husband a playfully nudge.

"Okay, fair enough," he responded as Addison carefully handed him a basket of rolls.

When they finished passing each dish around the table, they preceded to take turns declaring what they were grateful for. It was something they had done in the Quinn household every Thanksgiving without fail. The younger children were often bothered by it because of the large amount of guests at the dining table, but it had always been one of Michaela's favorite parts of the holiday. It made each and every one of them really look at how they were blessed in life.

When it was Hannah's turn Sully smiled in her direction, and he received a wink in return as Hannah acknowledged that it was her turn.

"I'm thankful for my family and friends, and that we get to spend Thanksgiving in Boston with grandma and grandpa," Hannah declared with a smile.

Sully wrapped his arm around his young daughter giving her shoulder a gentle squeeze before turning to face Michaela.

"I think everyone knows what I'm goin' ta say…" he began taking Michaela's hands into his own.

For the last seven years he had declared the very same thing he was thankful for at each and every dinner. This year was certainly no exception. He looked deep into her eyes still sparkling with happiness, but now shining with a trace of hidden tears. She too knew the sentiment he was planning to express.

"I'm thankful that my beautiful wife Michaela is sittin' here before us as my wife and mother of my three children. Seven years ago God granted me a miracle. He listened to my prayers and sent the love of my life back ta me. I still remember our first Thanksgiving in this very house as husband and wife as the best one of my life. Seven months before that day I had thought I would loose my soulmate and be forced ta spend every holiday of my life wishin' she was here with me. From the day she whispered my name in the hospital, I vowed ta spend the rest of my life thanking God for answering the deepest prayer I had ever sent forth. To this day I could not be more thankful to have the love and presence of Michaela Quinn in my life," he finished affectionately.

She gazed into his eyes filled with such love and affection for her, and she couldn't control the tears that spilled forth. But unlike all the other tears she had shed in the last several months, these were genuine tears of happiness. She pulled her hands back swiping at her cheeks gently, trying to gather her composure, as she knew it was her turn next. Glancing around the table she wasn't shocked to see tears in the eyes of her sisters as well. He did it every year without fail. Even though they knew it was coming his new words to express the same deep sentiment always brought out tears in everyone.

"Hang on," she said softly brushing tears from her eyes yet again.

"Michaela, when are you going to learn that you can't let Sully go first?" Rebecca teased. "Every year he brings us all to tears, and you are a choked up mess when it's your turn."

"Apparently, I'll never learn," she returned smiling towards her sister.

Taking a deep breath, she knew exactly what she wanted to say. She had been thinking it for months but had rarely said it aloud. Now was the perfect opportunity.

"I'm thankful for the love and support of the wonderful man sitting right beside me. This hasn't been the easiest year by any means, and if it weren't for him I wouldn't even know how to get up in the morning. It's his constant guidance and assistance that has helped me find the light in even the darkest hour. He's been the shoulder I've leaned on, cried on, and learned to rely on. He's picked me up off the ground more times, and in more ways then I can count. I thank God everyday that I am blessed enough to love and be loved by someone so very special. Sully, I love you so much," she declared with tears still shining in her eyes.

"I love you too sweetheart," he returned wrapping his arms around her gently as he wiped tears from his own eyes.

Both Sully and Michaela then turned their eyes towards Katie, flashing her an encouraging smile. They were both very intrigued to see how their youngest daughter would respond. This was really the first year she was old enough to answer such a thought-provoking question.

"I'm thankful for my Mommy and Daddy, my sister, and for my brother that's inside of Mommy right now," she declared flashing Michaela a smile and placing her tiny hand onto her mother's stomach.

As soon as those words slipped from Katie's mouth, she realized that she truly had been looking at this terrible news so very wrong from the start. Yes, it was devastating that her son wouldn't be born healthy or 'normal', but he would be _born_. So, many women lost babies or had trouble conceiving them at all, and would give anything to be in her situation right now. Katie had shed a new light on the situation, one that hadn't made sense to her until this very moment. Sully had tried to tell her more than once that things could have been so much worse. She had failed to truly see that until this moment when her daughter had so openly declared that she was thankfully for her baby brother. Even though he had spina bifida, he was _alive _inside of her. And for the first time she felt a new sense of thankfulness to be able to declared those very words.


	21. Chapter 21

**Ch.21**

**November 30****th****, 2017**

As she stood looking in the glass window watching her little sweetheart dance across the wooden floor, she couldn't help but feel the rush of pride leap through her. There was no question in her mind that Hannah was the best dancer in the class. As she glanced at the other mothers watching through the window, she caught several of their gazes wandering from their own daughters to Hannah. She smiled to herself knowing that they saw her little girl's talent as well.

Upon successfully completing their last dance, each little girl turned her gaze from the large mirror in front, over to the glass windows on their left. Then, each quickly ran to change their shoes and greet their parents, who they knew would enter the studio in a matter of moments.

As Michaela walked into the small studio, Hannah's young teacher approached her from across the room.

"Hi, how are you doing this evening?" she asked cheerfully.

"I'm fine. How are you?" Michaela replied slightly puzzled that Hannah's teacher had approached her personally.

"I'm wonderful. I was wondering if I could talk to you in private for a few minutes?"

"Sure," she responded while still keeping a close eye on Hannah who was busy removing her black tap shoes.

"What's going on?" Michaela inquired upon following the cheerful brunette several feet from the other parents.

She was becoming highly concerned that there was possibly a problem with Hannah in class. She dreaded dealing with that considering Hannah had never really been in any trouble her entire life. She, much like her mother, had always been the ideal student in every class she attended.

"Well, I saw you watching Hannah in class," she began before stopping to receive Michaela's confirmation.

She merely nodded urging her to continue while still keeping a close eye on Hannah.

"I'm sure that you have noticed that your daughter is immensely talented. It is beyond obvious that she is the standout performer of the class."

"I have noticed actually," Michaela returned with a smile.

"Well, I think that you should strongly consider my recommendation to move her to a different class," the young teacher explained.

"What?" Michaela replied slightly puzzled.

"It's just that I believe a young girl that has as much talent as Hannah does would benefit from being placed in a class with older girls," she expanded.

"So, you think she is too advanced for this class?"

"Exactly. Your daughter has too much natural talent to be in this low level class. Yes, this is the typical level of dance for a six-year-old, but Hannah is very far from typical."

"What class would you recommend then?" Michaela inquired.

"I think she belongs in a class with ten and eleven-year-olds. Now she is probably at the level of many students in the fourth grade class. However, I would want her in a class that would challenge her abilities as a dancer, so I would suggest she take the Tuesday and Thursday night class with the fifth graders."

Michaela stared back in complete shock. She knew Hannah was talented; she had seen that with her own eyes on many occasions. But to place her in a class with fifth graders? It seemed completely unbelievable.

"My only concern is that Hannah won't feel comfortable taking class with girls so much older than herself. Hannah is a very social little girl, which is wonderful. She's made friends with almost every girl in this class to the point where they fight over who gets to stand next to her," she said with a smile.

Michaela glanced in Hannah's direction again and quickly noticed her daughter's look of concern. By now her friends had all located their parents and left the studio, or were on their way out. She also knew Hannah was a very perceptive child and would immediately be concerned that her teacher was talking only to her mother.

"What time is this class?" Michaela questioned as she kept an eye on Hannah who was now slowly approaching.

"That's the second concern. Because it's a fifth grade class it begins at 7:30 and doesn't end until 8:30," she explained.

Michaela wasn't crazy about that fact considering Hannah was usually in bed by 8:15 or 8:30. After she picked her up she would still have to drive home and get her ready for bed. That would put her to sleep at 9:30 if Michaela was lucky. She knew she didn't have much time to think on this, as Hannah was a mere foot away by this point.

"I'll talk to her and my husband and let you know. I really appreciate you bringing this to my attention, though," she expressed sincerely.

"Absolutely! Just let me know what you decide. Feel free to take your time. I teach that class as well, so switching her won't be any problem," she said before turning towards Hannah who was hovering close by.

"Great job today Hannah. See you next week sweetheart," she said cheerfully.

"Thanks. See you next Thursday," Hannah returned politely before running into Michaela's arms.

"Mommy…" she began with sadness in her eyes.

"What sweetie?" she asked as she stared into her daughter's bright blue eyes.

"Am I in trouble?" Hannah asked softly almost afraid of the answer.

"Oh, no honey! Of course not. Why would you think that?"

"Well Miss Jessica was talking to you after class… And she usually only talks with our parents for a long time if we did something wrong," she explained sadly as she turned her gaze to the wooden floorboards.

"Hannah, sweetie that was not why she was talking to me. We were talking about what a good dancer you are," she returned with a proud smile.

"Really?" Hannah asked her face lighting up.

"Really," Michaela stated as Hannah smiled with joy. "So, guess where we're going?"

"Where?" Hannah questioned barely able to contain her excitement.

"Well, I came to pick you up tonight to spend time with just you. We are going to go to dinner just you and me."

"Yay!" Hannah screamed in excitement throwing her arms around Michaela's neck. "So, we're going to the Cheesecake Factory then?"

"If that's still where you want to go…" Michaela responded with a grin.

The Cheesecake Factory was Hannah and Michaela's special destination together. Anytime she took Hannah out alone, they always went there for lunch or dinner. Then, they would order French fries to share and spend countless amounts of time deciding on what kind of cheesecake to order. Michaela always let Hannah pick out her own slice from the over twenty types on the menu. Hannah ended up eating half of hers on a good day, and Michaela would then bring the rest home for Sully to eat.

"Yeah!" Hannah replied so excited she couldn't stand it as she bounced up and down in her pastel blue leotard and matching chiffon skirt.

"All right, let's go then," Michaela stated before taking Hannah's hand and leading the way to the car.

* * *

Michaela smiled over at her sweet little girl sitting on her knees in the leather booth. Her mind couldn't help but wander back to what Hannah's dance teacher had told her. This sweet six-year-old in front of her in white tights, blue leotard, and matching blue sweatshirt was an exceptionally talented dancer. Hannah dipped another fry in ketchup before flashing her mother a sweet smile.

"Do you know what kind of cheesecake you want?" Michaela asked, watching as Hannah carefully brought the tall glass of soda to her mouth.

"Yep," she responded as she set the plastic glass back on the table. "I'm going to get chocolate-chip cookie-dough cheesecake."

"That's a great choice," she returned her eyes sparkling with affection.

"What are you going to get Mommy?"

"I think I'm going to get caramel pecan cheesecake," Michaela answered before grabbing her glass of water from the table.

"Can I try a bit of it? I've never had that one," Hannah asked.

"You bet," she said with a nod. "Sweetie, there's something I want to talk to you about," she began knowing now was the perfect time to bring this up.

She would have felt more comfortable discussing it with Sully first, but she was sure he would understand this wasn't an opportunity she could afford to pass up. She had Hannah alone and focused solely on their conversation, and there was little to distract either one of them from the matter at hand. Of course she still planned to discuss it with Sully before finalizing anything, but even if he wasn't too crazy or keen on the idea Hannah still deserved to know what her teacher had said.

"I told you that Miss Jessica talked to me tonight about what a wonderful dancer you are…" she began looking to Hannah for acknowledgement.

"Yeah," she returned with a vigorous nod.

"Is dancing something that you really really enjoy?" Michaela asked. She wanted to make sure this was exactly what Hannah wanted, not what anyone else may desire for her.

"Uhh huh," she confirmed. "I want to be a Rockette," she explained with a smile.

"Really?" Michaela replied in surprise. She had never heard Hannah express that much of an interest in dance. She knew her daughter enjoyed it as a hobby, but she had no idea she aspired to be a professional dancer.

"Yeah. Do you think I can do it?" she wondered innocently.

As she looked down at Hannah's shining face, she could perfectly recall a time when she used to ask her father almost the same question. He had always given her the very same advice no matter how many times she asked. It was one of the things that had inspired her most to become the successful surgeon she was today. Now was her chance to answer Hannah in the very same way.

"Honey, you can do absolutely anything you want to do. If it's your dream to become a professional dancer, I have no doubt in my mind that you will become one," she returned with a reassuring smile.

"Thanks Mommy," she said with a proud smile.

"Well if dance is that important to you, then there's something we really need to talk about."

"What?" she asked in curiosity.

"Miss Jessica thinks that you belong in a class with older girls because you are such a talented dancer."

"No…" she replied completely incredulous.

"That's what she told me. She wants to move you to a class with fifth graders that meets on Tuesday and Thursday nights," Michaela explained.

"That means I won't be in class with my friends anymore… And those girls are so old they probably won't like me…" she said glumly.

Before Michaela had a chance to respond Hannah said confidently, "I want to do it. I want to take that class Mommy."

"Sweetheart, are you sure? You don't have to decide that right now. I just wanted you to think about it," Michaela responded.

"I'm sure," she returned firmly.

"All right. Let me talk to your Dad and see what he thinks about it, but I don't see why you can't take that class. If dancing means that much to you, we'll figure it out."

"Yay!" Hannah cried as she wrapped her arms tightly around her mother.

"I want you to know how very proud I am of you sweetheart," she said knowing how much those words truly encompassed.

"I love you," Hannah said softly placing a kiss on Michaela's cheek.

"I love you too," she returned as Hannah went back to the fries in front of her.

As Hannah continued to devour the plate of French fries, Michaela couldn't wipe the pleased grin off of her face. She had always felt that she was nothing like her mother, and had subconsciously assumed her own daughters would feel the same. But tonight showed her once again that Hannah was more like her than she ever truly realized. Her blond daughter was only six-years-old and had already set a dream for herself. But unlike most young children, she was already willing to do whatever it took to accomplish that dream. It had only taken her a few seconds to realize that dancing was more important to her than her friends in the class. In that moment, she couldn't have been more proud of her remarkably talented daughter.

* * *

She quickly turned her gaze from the magazine on her lap to his vivid blue eyes as he stepped into the room after telling Katie 'goodnight'. She became slightly concerned upon seeing the serious and determined look upon his face. He only presented that exterior when he had something extremely important to talk about. And it wasn't usually a 'good' something, which was what brought on his concern.

"Is everything okay?" she began as he took a seat beside her.

"Yeah…" he answered in an unconvincing tone.

"I brought you back the rest of Hannah's cheesecake," she said with a smile.

"Thanks sweetheart," he uttered before turning his gaze downward.

"All right what exactly is going on? I know something is bothering you here. Please just tell me…" she requested as she locked her hand into his.

"Well, I just have some bad news…" he stammered.

Her heart plummeted downward as soon as he shared those words. The thought of more bad news heading her way was almost too much to take…

"It's just that I have ta go out of town for a week… next week actually," he explained.

She felt her pulse and heart rate return to normal, as that hadn't been even half of what she had expected to hear. When he said bad news her mind had gone straight for more devastating results.

"Oh, okay…" she replied letting the breath she had been holding escape her lips.

"I know that ya might have a hard time alone with everything that you've been dealin' with, and I feel completely awful about it…"

"Look at me," she asked softly, and he quickly complied. "Sweetheart, I love that you are always here for me. I know that I can count on your love and guidance no matter what. I never want you to leave us, but life doesn't always work that way. You don't have to feel guilty that work needs you for a week. It's truly okay," she said with understanding.

"It's just that I know ya have been walkin' on thin ice for months. I feel awful leavin' you alone… Not just because of everything we've had ta deal with, but because you're eight months pregnant. Leavin' ya with two little girls to take care of alone just isn't right…" he admitted, shaking his head in distress.

"Don't even give it a second thought. The girls and I will be fine, I promise you. Rebecca and Edmund will be close by if we need anything. And remember I can call you on the phone whenever I need to talk. Talking to you isn't the same as being in your arms, but it will do for a week… she returned thoughtfully.

He smiled in return before saying, "I tried ta talk them out of it, but they didn't go for it. They insisted that I had ta be the one to go to this conference."

"Where is it?"

"In some small town in Pennsylvania," he replied.

"When do you have to leave?"

"Sunday afternoon," he said glumly.

"Sunday afternoon? How long have you known about this?" she inquired becoming concerned as her mind wondered how long he had kept this hidden.

"Well that's a tough question. They mentioned it about a month ago, but I told them I needed ta stay here with you and the girls. They said that was fine, and they would ask someone else ta go. Then, yesterday they told me the company we were meetin' with specifically thought I was comin'. I guess they've seen some of the blueprints I've drawn… I don't know. Anyway, they insisted on meetin' with me, so my boss delivered that blow yesterday. I tried ta talk him out of it, and he said he would get back with me today. I was told it was a for sure thing this morning…"

"Oh, okay," she returned with relief evident in her tone, knowing he hadn't been hiding anything from her.

"I'm going to miss you so much," she whispered as she wrapped her arms around him.

"You have no idea how much this hurts me…" he returned as he stroked her cheek softly.

"When will you be back?"

"Thursday night."

"So, it'll only be three days that I don't see you at all…" she ventured.

"I guess so…" he confirmed.

"We can do it."

"You sure?" he asked gazing deeply into her bright eyes.

"I'm sure," she answered with a small smile.

The truth of the matter was she wasn't sure of anything. The thought of Sully being across the country for almost a week felt like venom flowing through her veins. She _needed_ him… She didn't want him to feel guilty over something he had no control over, but she really didn't know how she was going to hold on without him. He was the one thing that had kept her going… the one person who had really pulled her out of that dark hole… held her above water when she thought she would drown in sorrow…. as he put it before he was the light in her world that was now darkened by despair. How in the world would she make it without him by her side? It was a question to which there really was no answer. The fact of the matter was she didn't have a choice. Sully needed her to be strong, take care of the girls, and keep herself in one piece. No matter how impossibly difficult it seemed, she had to do this for him.

**December 2****nd****, 2017 **

"What time are you leaving tomorrow?" Michaela asked.

"The cab is comin' by here at about 1:30, and my flight leaves at four," he called back from the bathroom as he placed his toothpaste in a small carrying case.

"I want to come with you…" she said wistfully as she glanced down at his half packed suitcase.

"I wish that you could…Years ago I would have brought ya with me…" he returned.

She sighed knowing that as much as she wanted to go with him this wasn't even in the vicinity of a realistic idea. She vowed to change the subject, as she knew this was only making it harder for him to leave. The more comments she made like that the more he would feel that he couldn't leave her.

As he stepped back into the bedroom and tossed the small leather bag into his suitcase, she smiled in his direction trying to look supportive. However, supportive was the last thing she really felt inside. She wanted to scream with everything inside of her _'Don't leave me, please.' _She shook her head slightly dragging herself away from those thoughts and back to the conversation at hand.

"There's something I've been meaning to discuss with you… I was planning to talk to you about in Thursday night, but then the conversation about this trip threw me for a loop," she started.

"What's goin' on?" he asked tossing another shirt into his open suitcase and taking a seat beside her on the bed.

"Well when I went to pick Hannah up from dance class Thursday, her teacher pulled me aside to discuss her talent. She told me that she felt Hannah was too skilled for the class she's in right now and belongs in a class with fifth grade girls," she explained.

"Oh, my God! Really?" he returned completely caught off guard.

"Really. Then, I questioned Hannah about it at dinner to find out whether she would even be interested in taking an advanced class like that. You won't believe what she told me…"

"What?" he responded his eyes lighting up with curiosity.

"She told me that she wants to become a professional dancer. That she dreams of becoming a Rockette…"

"Wow, really?" he stammered looking as shocked as she felt when Hannah had told her.

"So, she's never mentioned it to you before?"

"No, never. I didn't know dancing meant that much to her…"

"Neither did I. We discussed that she wouldn't be in class with her friends anymore, and she was completely fine with that. My only concern is that this class meets on Tuesday and Thursday nights from 7:30-8:30. That's incredibly late for a six-year-old…"

"Yeah…. But I don't think we have a choice here at all. This means far too much to her. I think we'll just have to make it work," he said with an encouraging smile.

"See that's why I love you," she replied affectionately.

His smile only grew wider before he leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on her lips.

"That's exactly what I was thinking, and you said it aloud," she expanded as she stared into his eyes shining with adoration for her alone.

"You realize what this means right?" he asked.

She furrowed her brow slightly, flashing him a very puzzled look.

"You were so worried that your relationship with the girls had changed. You were freakin' out when Hannah didn't tell ya about the recital right away. She shared something with you that I don't think she's ever told anyone else before. She told ya her biggest dream in life. That right there shows how close she feels ta you. She confided something like that knowin' you would be supportive," he explained.

"I didn't even think of that…" she uttered as she realized he was right.

"Well, while we're on the subject of dicussin' things there's something I've been wantin' ta ask you for a really long time now…" he faltered.

"Go ahead and ask," she encouraged gently as she placed her hand softly onto his thigh.

"I know how hard everything has been for ya… This pregnancy hasn't been easy by any means…but…"

"But what?"

"Why didn't ya paint a mural for his room like you did for Hannah and Katie? Or spend all that time workin' on makin' his room perfect? Is it just that you're… I don't know over that somehow since this is our third baby?... Or is it 'cause he's… well…different?" he questioned softly.

"I…. I…" she stuttered as she tried to answer his question.

The truth of the matter was she had never thought about this before. She had become so devoted to simply making it through every day and continuing to keep herself together for Hannah and Katie. She had purposely avoided thinking about his birth too much, because she knew that everything would change so drastically, and it was so painful to contemplate. So, she had shoved those thoughts from her mind completely, leading to his lack of a proper room.

He saw the inner turmoil flashing in her eyes, as she tried to form words to answer his question. The regret began to boil inside, as he knew he never should have asked her this to begin with. There had been a reason he hadn't brought this up even though he had wanted to for months. He hadn't wanted to upset her or make her feel guilty in any way, but his curiosity had finally got the best of him.

"I'm sorry I even asked ya that….You don't have ta answer," he stammered trying to resolve the problem he had created with his insensitive question.

"No, I just don't know how to answer…. I don't know why I haven't…. I mean you're right…Why haven't I? I don't have an answer. I truly don't know," she returned as she ran her hand through her hair, shaking her head in distress.

"Alright. That's fine," he quickly responded.

"No, it's not fine," she said with a hint of panic in her voice. "You're so very right…I never thought that I would treat him any differently, but I already am and he's not even born yet," she cried as a tear streamed down her cheek.

"Hey," he said softly as he wrapped his arms around her. "You're not treatin' him differently. This pregnancy hasn't been easy for any of us. You can't expect yourself ta be perfect. I've said this before, but I'm thankful for every day that ya pull yourself out of bed. I didn't mean ta upset you by askin'. I just wanted ta know if you had even been thinkin' about it, which clearly ya haven't been so don't worry about it."

"That's just it I am worried because I should have been thinking about it. What kind of mother doesn't think about it? He's going to be born in a little over a month, and he has no real place in this house…"

"Look at me," he commanded gently as he softly placed his hand underneath her chin. "You're a wonderful mother. If ya weren't then you wouldn't feel bad about not workin' on his room. And remember it's not like I've been workin' on his room either. We still have a month left and that's plenty of time. How about we start workin' on it together as soon as I get back from this trip?"

"Okay," she said softly with a nod.

"Please don't let yourself feel guilty about this. That's not why I brought it up. I was just thinkin' about the fact that he didn't have a room really, and wonderin' if that was something we could change _together_," he said gently.

"Together would be nice," she ventured softly.

"Yeah, it would," he returned kissing her tear-stained cheeks.

"Trying to kiss my tears away?" she said with a sweet smile.

"Yeah. Is it workin?"

"How could it not?" she responded before he moved his kiss from her cheek to her lips.

As his soft lips pressed gently against her own, she could feel the deep love pouring from his heart. The pulsing desire and love that she felt running through her veins only made him leaving so much worse. His sweet and gentle kisses had always taken her breath away, and as he lightly pulled back her heart ached knowing tomorrow night he wouldn't be here beside her. Tomorrow night he wouldn't be able to kiss her like that or take away her pain. They would literally have almost an entire country between them.

"I have ta finish packin'," he whispered, his forehead pressed against hers.

"I guess you do," she returned with a small sigh.

Then, he regretfully stood up slowly and made his way into the walk-in-closet. As soon as he was out of sight, she walked over to the wooden dresser and pulled something out of one of the drawers. After closing it very slowly to prevent it from making any noise, she carefully buried the item in his suitcase. She then took a seat on the bed once again, knowing he would never know what she had slipped in until he was already in Pennsylvania. She smiled to herself as she could almost see the look on his face when he found it. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes tight, praying with all her heart that the next five days wouldn't be as terrible as she imagined.

* * *

**December 3****rd****, 2017**

He set the dark blue suitcase down by the front door before turning back to face his three girls. There were many times he thought that Hannah and Katie looked exactly like their mother. In this very moment they had never resembled Michaela more. Each girl had the same look of sorrow behind their eyes they were attempting to mask with a face of bravery. He could see their tears hiding behind their heavy eyelids, and he felt his stomach drop as a sharp chill ran through his body. Their sadness was a direct result of something he was doing, and that thought was earth shattering. He took a deep breath willing himself not to break down. If he were crying it would be impossible for them to keep it together.

He bent down slowly in front of Katie and pulled the tiny brunette into his arms. He took in a deep breath trying to remember exactly what it felt like to hold his daughter.

"Goodbye sweetheart. I love you so much. Behave for your mom and don't fight with Hannah," he said gently.

"Okay Daddy. I love you too, and I'll miss you," she replied as a tear streamed down her face.

He tenderly wiped the tear from her cheek before placing a kiss in its place. Then, he reluctantly released her only to pull Hannah deep into his loving embrace.

"I love you honey. Take care of your Mommy for me. Remember to hug her any time she's sad," he whispered in her ear as his mind imprinted this feeling as well.

"I will Daddy. I'll take good care of her for you while you're gone," she replied confidently with a smile.

As he stared into her deep blue eyes, he ran his hand softly across her tiny cheek feeling so very proud of his oldest sweetheart.

"Thank you," he whispered before kissing her one last time.

"I love you Daddy," she returned kissing his cheek and regretfully releasing her hold from around his neck.

He knew his strong resolve wouldn't last much longer, especially after he looked deep into the eyes of his soulmate. Then, pulling her deeply into his strong arms he held her tightly, knowing it would be days before he could feel her in his arms once more. He took several deep breaths attempting to calm his anxiety and breath in her closeness.

"Every time ya miss me, remember I never really left you," he whispered against her cheek. "I will always be right here, in your heart," he said with a smile as he placed his hand gently onto her chest.

When she felt his warm breath against her cheek, and his tender touch she couldn't hold onto her brave exterior for a moment longer. As the tears poured from her eyes, she wished more then anything that he didn't have to leave.

"You'll be fine, sweetheart. I _know_ you can do this," he returned as he ran his hand across every inch of her face.

She nodded softly, knowing that was what he needed from her although she didn't truly feel she could do it at all. Then, placing her hand onto his cheek, she stared at him with such intensity he could feel her gaze penetrate into his very soul.

Cupping her face in his hands, he pulled her towards him and kissed her with such passion she could feel his deep desire to never leave her side. The second his lips left hers she opened her eyes, feeling the weight of reality crushing down on her.

"I love you," he said softly with tears now streaming down his face.

"God, I love you too. So, very much," she returned her lip trembling fiercely from the tears she was trying to hold back.

As she felt the cold air grip her arms the second his warm hands pulled away, she wanted to scream at him not to leave. She wanted to beg him to stay, but she knew that would simply devastate him. If he didn't leave he would probably loose his job, and she couldn't let that happen. It meant too much to him, however she knew he could never say 'no' to her. He had never been able to from the first day they met outside of that apartment complex almost ten years ago.

He picked up his suitcase with a heavy heart and opened the wooden front door. Turning to look back one last time, he bit down hard on his lip knowing he was leaving behind everything that meant anything to him. As he raised his hand to wave goodbye one last time, Michaela brought her hands up across her face unable to hold back her sobs for a second longer. Just as he was about to rush out and pull her into his arms one last time, Hannah ran to Michaela's side wrapping her arms around her mother's legs. Hannah flashed him a reassuring smile as she repeated softly, "It'll be okay, Mommy."

Katie followed suit and quickly appeared at her mother's side. He watched as Michaela bent down to their level, pulling each girl into her arms. After smiling in their direction one last time, he turned and stepped onto the porch. And as he walked towards the waiting cab, he felt the unbearable sting of loss cutting him apart inside. Repeating over and over, _'It's only five days'_ to himself as he climbed into the taxi. He knew five days without holding, hugging, kissing, or touching his girls would be awful. However, he had no choice, and after taking another glimpse at the house that held everything he loved, he turned his eyes towards the road ahead.

Feeling Hannah and Katie in her arms was a comfort, although she knew it wasn't the same as having him by her side. She had never liked to admit aloud how very much she _needed_ to feel his arms around her. She had always believed it made her sound too reliant on a man, but in this very moment she no longer cared. Sully was her world, and frankly she didn't care how that might sound. Tonight she would lie in bed without him by her side, and that was a pain almost too much to bear. Lost in despair, she glimpsed back down at Hannah and Katie. She quickly realized that although he had left her alone, he had also left two incredible little girls that reminded her of their father more each day. And that would have to be enough until she could hold him in her arms once more.


	22. Chapter 22

**Ch.22**

**December 4****th****, 2017**

She glanced over at the clock noticing she still had a few minutes left. He had promised to call at exactly eight o'clock her time. After zipping his sweatshirt shut around her, she grabbed her phone and climbed in bed. The second she pulled the blankets on top of her, she couldn't help but look over to her left immediately noticing the fact that he wasn't beside her. After pulling the long sweatshirt sleeves down over her hands, she buried her face in the light grey material. _It smelled like him…_ Wearing his clothes was the only thing that made this even halfway bearable. It wasn't even close to having his warm body pressed against her, but at least she could _feel_ him around her.

Before she had a chance to think about the pain of missing him a second longer, her phone lit up chiming the tone that indicated Sully was calling. She immediately grabbed the phone, sliding the arrow to the right to unlock it.

"Hi," she replied with excitement.

"Hi, sweetheart," he returned.

She broke out into a big smile the second she heard the deep sound of his voice. She still marveled at the comfort something as simple as 'hi' could bring when it came from his mouth.

"How was your day?" she asked.

"It wasn't too bad. Just had a few meetings with some of these company big shots. I'm just anxious ta be done with this.

"Did you meet with whomever it was that wanted to speak with you directly?"

"No, not yet. They won't be back in town until Wednesday. How are Hannah and Katie? I miss ya guys so much…" he said with sadness apparent in his tone.

"They're great. They miss you like crazy, though. Katie asks me every few hours exactly when you will be back."

"I know they're probably in bed right now, but ya think maybe you could leave them up a little later tomorrow night? I would really like ta talk to them…" he wondered.

"Of, course! I think they would both really enjoy that. God, this is so terrible. I miss you so badly… When did we become so attached to each other?" she teased.

"Well, I don't know when you became attached, but I was hooked from the second ya said 'yeah, that would be great.'"

"What?" she replied with a small giggle.

"That was the very first thing ya said ta me," he expanded.

"It was?" she returned thinking back to the morning they met.

"Yeah. I asked if ya wanted help with one of the boxes in your trunk and ya said, 'yeah, that would be great'," he explained.

"I can't believe you remember that…"

"How could I forget the second I heard your voice for the first time? It's emblazoned deeply in my mind. So, when did you know you were attached ta me?"

"Well, it took me a little longer than the first words from your mouth," she said with a laugh. "It was when you kissed me at sunset on the top of the Ferris Wheel."

"Man, that _was_ a great kiss… We are just lost causes here… Hopelessly addicted," he returned.

"You said it…"

"Where are you sittin' right now? I want ta picture myself right beside you…"

"I'm in bed wearing your grey sweatshirt," she responded.

"My sweatshirt?" he said in surprise.

"Yes… I feel like your arms are around me this way," she replied wistfully.

"Wow, I wish I had thought of that…"

"Thought of what?"

"I wish I had brought a small piece of you with me," he admitted.

"You did," she replied simply.

"No, I didn't."

"Yes, you did. Go unzip one of those tiny inside pockets in your suitcase," she requested.

"Why?"

"Just do it," she returned shaking her head slightly.

She smiled to herself the second the phone went silent, knowing how excited he would be with what she had done. She had casually slipped one of her tiny cardigan sweaters into his suitcase. The royal blue sweater with sparkling rhinestone buttons was one of her all-time favorite sweaters, and he always claimed he could never see her wear it enough.

"I can't believe ya did that," he said as he picked the phone back up.

"Did what?" she teased.

"Snuck your sweater into my suitcase."

"Now you can feel me with you too, although I wouldn't recommend wearing it. You know if you stretch that out I'll kill you," she playfully cautioned.

"Oh, I know! You love this thing."

"Yeah, because _you_ bought it for me," she retorted.

"I love you so much Michaela Quinn Sully."

"And I love you, Byron Sully," she replied.

"Don't call me that," he said with a laugh.

"I like the name Byron," she admitted.

"Well I hate it, and ya know that," he said with a laugh. "You sure ya were okay today?"

"Yes, I'm fine. I mean I miss you terribly, but your son and I are just fine. I wish I could feel your arms around me though…"

"Close your eyes," he commanded.

"What?" she questioned his request baffling her.

"Why do ya always question me?" he teased. "Just close your eyes."

"Okay, they're closed," she replied, although she didn't close them. She felt ridiculous knowing he couldn't see her anyway.

"No, they aren't. Don't lie to me girl," he returned with a laugh.

"Oh, fine," she answered complying with his wish.

"Take a deep breath and just completely relax," he requested.

He listened to her deep breathing through the phone until it become steady, and then extended his left hand forward picturing her features perfectly in his mind. As he gently moved his hand through the air, he perfectly envisioned what it would be like to caress her cheek with his hand. Then, almost out of nowhere, he heard her suddenly take in a sharp breath.

"I felt you…" she whispered softly into the receiver.

"Yeah?" he said somewhat shocked. On the other hand, he had been hoping she would say that.

"I could feel you hand on my face… it was like your spirit was here… it was incredible…" she murmured in awe.

"I told you we are never really apart. My heart never left California," he whispered.

"Oh sweetheart, I can never tell you how much I love you," she returned with a tear rolling down her face.

"You don't have to… I've told ya before I know how much you love me, 'cause that same love is inside of my heart for you alone," he said gently.

"You say the most romantic things."

"I try," he said with a yawn.

"It's like 11 o'clock there isn't it?" she questioned, knowing he had to be exhausted.

"Yeah."

"I'll let you go then…" she replied sadly.

"Why do that?"

"Because you need to go to sleep," she answered with a small laugh.

"Are ya tired?" he inquired.

"Yes, our son has really been wearing me out lately…"

"Then, go to sleep with me," he suggested.

"Huh?"

"Go to sleep with me on the phone. You'll be able to hear me breathin' as if I was right beside ya…"

"Okay," she said with a grin.

"Goodnight, I love you."

"Goodnight, I love you too," she answered before lying down with the phone right beside her.

As she snuggled comfortably into the bed laying her head on his pillow, she realized how much better she felt hearing his breathing in her ear. Last night she hadn't even been able to talk to him as he had arrived so late. He had called her when his plane landed letting her know he had arrived safely, but she hadn't been able to talk to him before she went to sleep. It was beyond comforting to feel his presence even when he was so many miles away. Every time she heard him take in another steady breath she knew he was safe. Falling asleep to the steady rhythm of his breathing made it almost as if he was lying right beside her and not miles and miles across the country. As she closed her eyes letting sleep quickly claim her, she couldn't have been more grateful that he had found a way to keep them so very close.

* * *

**December 6****th****, 2017**

She took a deep breath knowing that the truly trying part of the day was just beginning. After she picked up Hannah and Katie, she had to find something for dinner, help Hannah with her homework, and put them both to bed. There had never been even a hint of doubt in her mind that Sully was a wonderful father and husband. She had always thought she valued his contribution to the domestic tasks of their life together. However, this week had taught her something incredibly valuable. She truly had no clue what he did for their family on a daily basis until she was forced to do it all alone. _He'll be home late tomorrow night… Only two more nights, _she repeated to herself over and over as the traffic light turned green, and she pressed down on the gas pedal.

As she pulled her car into the parking lot, she willed herself to summon the strength she needed to pull through another night. She knew it was the pregnancy that was making this unbearably difficult, but that still didn't make it any easier. She wished more then anything that she could just drink a crazy amount of coffee like she had in college to get through those sleep-deprived weeks of intense studying and projects at the end of the semester. But sadly that wasn't an option any longer. After locking her car door, she made her way across the parking lot more determined then ever before to make it through this trying week.

"Mommy!" Hannah cried jumping up from the art table with hands drenched in finger paint.

"Go wash your hands, sweetheart," she said with a laugh, and Hannah quickly ran towards the sink.

After washing the paint from her hands and removing her oversized paint shirt, Hannah bounded across the room and into her mother's arms.

"How was your day?" Michaela questioned looking down into her daughter's shining eyes.

"Well…" she stammered before averting her eyes from Michaela's. "It was good and bad…"

"What was bad about it?" Michaela asked compassionately.

"Can I please tell you the good first? I might be in trouble when I tell you the bad…" she admitted fidgeting with her bright beaded necklace.

"Okay…" Michaela returned not excited about the direction this conversation seemed to be heading.

"I get to bring something for show-and-tell tomorrow, so I want you to help me pick out something really cool tonight," she explained her eyes sparkling with excitement.

"I think I can do that. Now what happened today that you aren't telling me?"

"I sort of owe Madison some money…" she stammered.

"Why?" Michaela inquired with a curious smile.

"Well… She gave me some money for lunch…" she admitted still fidgeting under Michaela's gaze.

"What happened to your lunch money?" Michaela questioned knowing exactly what was coming.

"I… I… I put it in that pocket of my jacket you told me not to and I lost it," she cried unable to control her tears fully expecting Michaela to haul into her any second.

"Oh, come here," Michaela returned softly pulling Hannah into her arms. "It's okay sweetheart. I'll make sure Madison gets her money back."

"You're not mad at me?" she asked brushing tears from her eyes.

"No, honey this really wasn't your fault. I knew you were too young to hold onto that all day."

In truth she was surprised this was the first day Hannah had lost it. She hadn't the time or energy to pack the girls' lunches this week, so she'd simply given Hannah money to buy lunch. Katie had been easy due to the fact that she could hand the money directly to her preschool teacher. Hannah on the other hand had to be trusted to hold onto it for half the day, and Michaela had been surprised when she had accomplished that both Monday and Tuesday.

"I'm sorry," she returned still feeling remorseful knowing how much her mother had emphasized that she couldn't loose it.

"Hannah, honey it's fine. I'm really not upset I promise. Come on let's go get Katie," Michaela said with a smile.

"Okay," Hannah returned running to the corner of the room to retrieve her backpack and shoes.

As Michaela signed her initials in the ledger by the door, she sighed aloud knowing she now had additional tasks to complete tonight. Hannah needed a sack lunch in addition to something to bring for show-and-tell. She smiled wearily as Hannah arrived by her side, knowing it was going to be a very long night.

* * *

"Mommy!" Katie called jumping from the couch and running towards the table where Michaela stood cleaning up the fast food wrappers and cups.

"Yeah?" Michaela answered.

"Here," she said with a smile extending a folded piece of paper towards Michaela. "I'm supposed to give this to you tonight. Mrs. Kirkland told me it was really important that I stop forgetting to give it to you."

Michaela gave Katie a puzzled look before taking a seat at the table and unfolding the white sheet in her hand. As she read the contents of the letter, she shook her head in disbelief. Upon successfully delivering the letter to Michaela, Katie had departed for the living room, joining her stuffed unicorn back on the couch. Hannah, who was clearly looking for any distraction she could find from her Math homework, glanced over curiously in her mother's direction.

"What does it say Mommy?" she questioned.

"Hannah, did you Dad make a bunch of cookies for Katie's class Halloween party?"

"Hmmm," she started clearly trying to remember. "Yeah, he did. They were in the shapes of pumpkins and bats. Oh, and ghosts, too. Why?" she returned thrilled that Michaela was allowing her to engage in this conversation instead of telling her to return to her homework.

"I can't believe he found time to bake cookies in the shape of pumpkins and bats," she replied shaking her head in disbelief.

"And ghosts," Hannah added.

After feeling like a single parent all week, there were numerous times she felt tremendously guilty for forcing Sully to be the sole parent responsible for taking care of the girls for so many months. Sure after she talked to Audrey regularly, she had become involved again with really caring for the girls. However, there were months where that responsibility had rested solely on his shoulders. He had never complained, or said he couldn't do it alone, or gave her any indication at all that he was struggling in any way. And now on top of everything she had come to realize he had been forced to do alone, he had made cookies for a class room-party as well?

"Mommy, you never told me what it says…" Hannah spoke out distracting Michaela from her thoughts.

"Oh, Katie's teacher just wanted to know if Daddy could make cookies for Katie's class Christmas party as well. Apparently, his Halloween ones were very popular."

"I sure liked them," Hannah said happily.

"Did he make some for your class too?" she responded in disbelief.

"No, but he made some for us to eat that weren't for the party," Hannah explained.

"Oh, okay," Michaela said with a nod. Then, it quickly dawned on her the game Hannah was playing. Normally, she would have caught onto this much quicker, but she was simply too exhausted.

"Hannah, stop talking and finish that worksheet. I mean it. You aren't getting anything for snack if you don't finish that."

"It's _too_ hard," she whined in frustration.

"Hannah, it's not too hard. You simply don't want to do it. I'm sorry, but you don't have a choice here. The sooner you finish it, the sooner you can watch TV with Katie."

"Yeah, you better hurry Hannah," Katie called from the other room. "i-Carly is going to be on really soon…"

"Mommy, can I please go watch it?" she pleaded.

"Yes, after you finish your homework you can," Michaela returned firmly.

"It's not fair…." she whined burying her face in her hands in frustration. "Katie doesn't have any stupid math sheet to do," she cried pounding her fist on the counter.

She sighed in frustration, as she truly didn't have an ounce of strength to fight with Hannah. More than anything she wanted to curl up in a ball in the corner and cry 'I give up'. But she knew that wasn't an option, as she was the sole adult responsible here, and even in the midst of total exhaustion she had to push through it.

"Hannah…" she cautioned knowing her tone said it all.

Hearing her mother's cautionary warning only fueled her angry, and she swung her arm holding her pencil behind her head threatening to toss the wooden object across the room.

"Hannah Marie!" she scolded glaring at her in warning.

Hannah knew what kind of trouble she would be in if she went ahead and threw the pencil across the kitchen. However, that wasn't what stopped her. It was the look of complete exhaustion on her mother's face. She heard her father's words flash through her mind, _Take care of your Mommy for me. _She knew this was the opposite of taking care of her mother, and the thought of disappointing her father was devastating. She slowly lowered her arm, and then turned her eyes back to the subtraction problem in front of her.

"Thank you," Michaela sighed in relief grateful that this hadn't turned into an enormous argument.

She took in a deep breath knowing there was a strong possibility that Hannah actually was having a difficult time completing this homework assignment. She often complained about doing her homework, but she had never threatened to throw a fit like that over it. She didn't know if it was Katie's comment about the television program that almost sent Hannah over the edge, or if she was confused and frustrated by the assignment.

Taking a seat on the stool next to Hannah, she leaned over to look at the sheet in front of her daughter.

"Sweetheart, you're doing a wonderful job. The six problems you've done are all correct," she encouraged wrapping her arm around Hannah.

"Yeah?" she asked skeptically.

"Yes. Honey, what's the problem? It looks to me like you're doing fine."

"Math is really hard for me…" she admitted. "Daddy, always helps me with it," she said softly.

Michaela felt those familiar pains of guilt stabbing at her deep inside. This was something else she hadn't noticed. Sully had probably been helping Hannah from the very first day of school. She had initially been worried about Hannah attending this private school knowing it had an extremely advanced curriculum. However, Hannah had never mentioned a problem and neither had her teacher, so Michaela had assumed she wasn't having difficulty keeping up with the work.

"Has Daddy been helping you since you started first grade?" she asked gently.

"Yeah, with Math he has…" she replied.

"When does he usually help you?" she questioned in curiosity.

"As soon as we get home. Katie usually colors and Daddy starts dinner. Then, while it's cooking he helps me," she explained.

It dawned on her that she was usually lying down during that time or spending time with Katie in the living room. She had never paid any attention to what Sully was doing in the kitchen with Hannah. She also instantly realized why Hannah had put up such a fight this week about finishing her homework. Sully had her complete it as early in the evening as possible, knowing her concentration and patience would be lower after dinner and later in the evening. It took everything she had to hold back her tears from Hannah. She had failed her daughter _again_.

"Hannah, I didn't know that Daddy usually helps you with Math. Honey, you have to tell me things like that. Do you need help with the next one? You look like you are doing fine though," she said softly.

"I think I know how to do it…" she stammered. "Can you tell me if it's right as soon as I finish though? That's what Daddy does."

"Sure," she said with a smile, and Hannah quickly turned her eyes back to the worksheet.

She had known all along that Sully had been the glue that held everything together. There was never a doubt in her mind that he had rescued her from drowning after she fell into such a dark depression. She also knew from the start that he had been taking care of the girls perfectly. But every day she seemed to learn more about exactly what he had been doing while she was so lost and removed from the world. He had taken care of Hannah's dance costume, baked cookies for Katie's Halloween party, helped Hannah with her Math homework, and taken care of an extremely sick Katie when she was ill with the flu. All the while, he had been taking care of _her_ as well, holding her while she cried, encouraging her with his love and support, and making sure she talked to a professional when she desperately needed to.

There had been numerous times throughout the last nine and a half years in which she thought it wasn't possible to love Sully any more than she already did. She knew that very second, she had been wrong every single one of those times. This man truly was her everything, and if it wasn't for him her life would be broken pieces of glass shattered beyond repair. As a tear slide down her cheek, she vowed with all of her heart to let him know what he truly meant to her. The second he arrived home tomorrow night, she had to let him know exactly what his love had done for her.

* * *

**December 7****th****, 2017 **

She set her paintbrush down and took a step back from the large canvas sprawled across the bedroom floor. She stared down at the dark brown base of the ship she had just completed. It would be perfect when she did finally finish it. She smiled to herself imagining buying one of those beds shaped like a small lifeboat when he finally out grew his crib. This was the first time she had truly allowed herself to celebrate and enjoy the fact that in another month she would be able to hold her little boy in her arms.

The thought of Sully's reaction to this mural she was painting for their son only made her more excited for him to arrive home later tonight. His flight wasn't scheduled to arrive until nine o'clock, which would place him home around 10:30 if she were lucky. However, it didn't matter how late he arrived home. Tonight he would be sleeping beside her for the first time in almost a week, and that was all that really mattered to her.

She felt slightly guilty that she had started working on their son's room without him after they had discussed doing it together when he returned. However, she had only started working on the mural, which was something she always did without his help anyway. And she knew he would love the subject matter she had chosen to paint. In fact it had been his idea from the very start. Taking a seat in the wooden rocking chair, the only piece of furniture they had bothered to move into his room yet, she thought back to the day when he had given her that idea. That night could still make her smile for more than one reason…

* * *

**July 14****th****, 2012**

His grin only grew bigger by the second as he watched his little girl push the plastic monkey and elephant around the brown plastic path of her Fisher Price Musical Zoo.

"She's just so cute," Michaela said softly as she snuggled deeper into his arms that were wrapped around her tightly.

"Well that only makes sense," he replied placing a kiss on the top of her head.

"What?" she uttered not expecting that response at all.

"Take a look at her mother. It makes perfect sense ta me," he explained as he felt her shift in his arms to gaze up into his eyes.

"God, I love you," she whispered before placing a sweet kiss on his lips.

"I know," he responded with a grin raising his eyebrows playfully.

She merely shook her head slightly before resting her head back on his chest once again.

As he ran his hand through her long brown hair, she took in a deep breath trying to remember this moment forever.

"Ya know we'll have another son or daughter to play with her here soon…" he speculated as he placed his free hand gently across her torso.

"I think you're getting a little ahead of yourself here…" she replied gently.

"I don't think I am. I mean we're tryin'…" he offered.

"Yes, but it takes time. It doesn't just happen out of thin air. What happened with Hannah was extremely unusual…" she admitted.

"I know that but I can dream of the future that we'll have one day can't I?" he returned softly.

"Yes, I suppose you can. They're really is no harm in that. I just wanted you to know that it may take a while…"

"That's doesn't bother me," he returned tucking a strand of hair gently behind her ear.

She sighed gently before gazing up into his eyes once again. He knew she was deep in thought, and he gave her a gentle nudge before saying, "What are ya thinkin' about?"

"Do you want a boy or a girl?" she wondered.

"I'm fine with either. It doesn't matter ta me as long as I get to be the father of another one of your children."

"If you couldn't be the father I wouldn't want anymore children," she quickly returned.

"I'm glad to hear that," he said with a small laugh. "What about you? Boy or girl?"

"That's just what I was trying to figure out. I don't have an answer. It would be nice to have a boy since we already have a little girl. Then, on the other hand we now know how sweet little girls are…"

"Very true…" he returned. "Will ya paint our new baby a mural like you did for Hannah's room?" he wondered aloud.

"Definitely!" she replied enthusiastically. "I want to paint one for all of our children."

"What would you paint for another girl?"

"Hmmm I don't know. A princess and a castle…I don't know what else…" she answered still deep in thought contemplating new ideas.

"Well if it's a boy I know what I want ya to paint…" he said thoughtfully.

"What?" she asked clearly intrigued.

"A pirate ship," he said simply.

"Pirate ship, huh?" she mocked.

"Yeah! What's wrong with a pirate ship?"

"Nothing," she said with a laugh. "I just think it's cute that you want me to paint him a pirate ship when I know you've always had a thing for pirates. I think this may be a time when the little boy inside of you is shining through…"

"I don't have a _thing_ for pirates…" he returned indignantly.

"Oh, I think that you do. How many times have you made me watch those Pirates of the Caribbean movies? Oh, and what about all those times I've pulled out that Elizabeth Swan Halloween costume for you? Just admit it. Little Byron had a thing for pirates…" she said with a laugh.

"Hey, play nice!" he cried. "Ya know I can't stand that name!"

"Captain Byron Sully. That has a nice ring to it," she teased.

"You're goin' ta pay for that one!" he warned trying to suppress a grin.

"What are you going to do? Make me walk the plank?" she said with wink.

"Nah, something worse then that…" he said bringing his hands underneath her arms. "Captain _Sully _is goin' ta tickle you ta _death_," he said in a menacing tone.

"Stop!" she cried as she erupted in a fit of laughter squirming under his touch.

He couldn't help but laugh himself as her uncontrolled laughter filled his ears.

"I may stop if you agree ta my one condition…" he called out over her laughter.

She tried to reply, but she couldn't hardly breath much less talk. He saw her struggling to form words and stopped momentarily to give her a chance to respond.

"If ya call me Captain Sully for the rest of the weekend, I'll let ya go," he said raising his eyebrow playfully.

"No way!" she responded shaking her head defiantly.

"Alright then, you asked for it," he cautioned before beginning his assault again.

"Stop!" she called out again, but he simply assumed she was playing again.

"No, I'm serious Sully, stop!" she cried in a serious tone.

He heard the shift in her tone and immediately complied with her wish. Before he could question her further though, he turned around slightly following her wide eyed- stare. He noticed right away that she had to be staring at Hannah. However, he couldn't figure out what was so fascinating. His daughter was merely sitting upright looking around the room. He turned his eyes back to Michaela, giving her a very puzzled look.

"Just watch…" she whispered softly.

He followed her request and turned his eyes back to Hannah. With a large grin on her face, his sweet daughter extended her hands forward and pushed up from the floor. Now standing upright she rocked back and forth slightly, trying to maintain her balance.

"Come here Hannah. Come to Mommy, sweetie," Michaela called sitting up slightly and extending her arms forward.

After placing her left leg shakily forward, she then did the same with right, her eyes never leaving Michaela's. He looked on in awe now realizing what Michaela must have seen only moments before. After taking another tiny step forward, Hannah quickly feel backward. Before either of them had a chance to react, Hannah had crawled the rest of the distance between herself and Michaela. She quickly scooped her daughter up in her arms her eyes lit up with joy.

"I can't believe that," he muttered in awe.

"I know… She just walked. Our daughter just walked," she cried happily with Hannah now cradled in her arms.

"Yeah," he answered still amazed at what he had just seen.

He quickly closed the distance between them pulling both his wife and daughter into his arms. Taking Hannah's small hand into his own, he smiled down at her before placing a kiss on her cheek.

He watched as a tear rolled down Michaela's cheek as she whispered, "I never thought life could be this _perfect_."

"I couldn't agree more," he returned as she leaned back into his arms.

"If we have millions more nights together just like this I won't wish for anything more," she whispered thoughtfully.

He turned his eyes from Michaela back to Hannah in her adorable pink sleeper. As Hannah grinned up at him, he knew Michaela had expressed exactly what was in his heart. In this very moment life was perfect. The two girls he loved more than anything else in the world were safe and happy in his arms. There truly was nothing left to ask for in life.


	23. Chapter 23

**Ch. 23**

**December 7****th****, 2017 **

The second the cab pulled up in front of the beautiful California home, he jumped out and grabbed his suitcase from the trunk as fast as humanly possible. As he retrieved his keys from his pocket to unlock the front door, he quickly noticed that all the lights inside appeared to be out. Ascending the staircase as quietly as he could, he soon reached the top, stopping at the first wooden door. Pulling it open gently, he set his suitcase down in the hall and tiptoed into the room lit only by a tiny night-light.

As he looked down at his sleeping daughter, he couldn't help but smile as her arm curled tightly around the stuffed unicorn he had given her so many years ago. After placing a gentle kiss on her forehead, he departed from the room as quietly as he had entered.

His next stop was the door directly across from it, and he pulled that one open quietly as well. Stepping lightly across the room to his oldest daughter's bedside, he brushed a few strands of blond hair from her face before placing a kiss on cheek. Then, he turned to leave knowing he still had one more very special girl he had yet to greet.

Only this time he wasn't so graceful, and on his way out he ran right into a wooden toybox. He sucked in air deeply, as he clenched his teeth to keep from crying out as he rubbed his shin. Glancing back towards Hannah, he was grateful to see that she had only rolled over slightly. She had always been a hard sleeper, unlike her mother. After gently clicking the door shut, he picked up his suitcase again making his way to the end of the hall.

He felt his heart jump in excitement as he pictured holding her in his arms once again. As he pulled the last wooden door open, he could hear the sounds of the television filling the room. The moment his eyes landed on her he didn't know whether to laugh or cry. He simply shook his head as a small laugh escaped his lips. There she was in front of him curled up on top of the comforter on his side of the bed. It was clear that she hadn't meant to fall asleep as she was still wearing jeans, a t-shirt, and his grey sweatshirt, and she hadn't even unmade the bed yet.

He was slightly disappointed that he wouldn't get to talk to her tonight, but he quickly got over that knowing he would still be able to hold her. He quickly set his suitcase down gently, removed his shoes, and switched the television off. Then, after grabbing a few blankets from the closet, he lay down behind her. Wrapping her in the blankets he had retrieved, he smiled to himself as he heard her deep breathing. After placing a sweet kiss on her cheek, he settled back down wrapping his arms around her softly. And as he drifted off to sleep, he knew all was right with the world once again because Michaela was in his arms.

She opened her eyes only to realize she was surrounded by darkness. She realized in an instant that his arms were wrapped tightly around her, and she immediately felt her heart soar knowing he was safely home beside her. Shifting slightly to face him, she watched as he drew in deep breath after deep breath. Gently brushing his golden hair from his face, she placed a kiss on his forehead before whispering in his ear, "I'm so glad you're home. I love you so much."

Quickly realizing she had fallen asleep before he had come home, she scolded herself for not being awake the moment he arrived. She had been looking forward to that moment from the second he had stepped off the front porch, and she was sure he felt the same way. Arriving home to find her already asleep wasn't much of a warm welcome, and she intensely regretted it though she knew it wasn't intentional on her part at all. She sighed softly knowing there was nothing she could do to change it now, as she definitely didn't plan to wake him up in the middle of the night.

Settling back down in bed, although now facing him directly, she wrapped her arm around his waist relishing in the comfort of having him beside her. Closing her eyes again, she finally felt at peace for the first time in almost a week. She knew she would never take for granted again what it meant to her to feel his strong arms around her and to awake with him laying beside her.

* * *

**December 8****th****, 2017**

As she forced herself out of a world of dreams, opening her eyes slightly, her heart immediately noticed he was no longer beside her. Sitting up in a panic, her heart raced as her mind tried to make sense of what was happening. Her thoughts bounced back and forth from believing waking up during the night with him beside her had merely been a dream, to believing it had felt too real to be a dream. Within seconds her mind became less foggy, and as she glanced around the room she noticed his suitcase by the closet.

Relief immediately set in knowing he was home. Jumping out of bed on a mission to find him, she walked down the hall immediately noticing both Hannah and Katie's doors were ajar. Glancing in both rooms, she realized the girls were gone. Having no clue what time it was, she descended the stairs rapidly, glancing at the wall clock in the living room the second it appeared in sight. The hands displayed 7:40, and she realized that he must have taken the girls to school. Turning her eyes over to the coffee table, she noticed a small piece of note-taking stationary with his familiar looped handwriting. Upon closer examination it read,

_Michaela,_

_Didn't want to wake you early after you were up all week taking the girls to school. I just went to drop them off quickly and will be back about eight. Work on getting dressed while I'm gone, because I have big plans for the day once I get back. _

_Love you always,_

_Sully_

_Big plans?_ He definitely had her interest peaked. She climbed the stairs with his note still in hand, reading his words over again. As she pulled another pair of jeans from her dresser and grabbed a shirt from the closet, she couldn't help but think about how many more seconds it would be before he returned. She had waited anxiously all day yesterday for him to arrive home, and then she had foolishly fallen asleep. She still couldn't believe he had simply slept on top of the comforter with her instead of waking her up, but that was Sully. He was always thinking about her above himself. He probably decided that she needed to sleep, so he would simply wait to talk to her until the morning. Grabbing her silver handled brush, she headed for the bathroom determined to be ready for these 'big plans' of his the moment he arrived home.

* * *

As soon as he set foot in the house, he heard the water running upstairs and knew she was still getting ready. He hoped that she hadn't eaten anything while he was gone, but he figured that she probably hadn't as there was absolutely nothing in the house. He quickly ran up the flight of stairs, taking them two at a time, crazy anxious to pull her into his arms.

It didn't take long for her to hear his footsteps in the hallway soon after she had turned the water in the sink off. The second he appeared in the doorway of their room, her face broke out into one of the largest grins that had ever graced it. He quickly pulled her into his arms, simply holding her tightly for several minutes. After placing a deep kiss on her lips, he pulled back eager to hear her voice in person again.

"Hey," he began staring down into her shining eyes.

"Oh my God, I missed you so much. You truly have no idea," she uttered softly.

"Oh, I missed ya so badly. But it's okay, I'm home now," he responded gently pulling her even deeper into his arms.

Softly cupping his face in her hands, she stared back into those deep blue eyes that had been missing from her life for days now.

"I love you," she whispered with adoration.

"Oh, Michaela," he returned overcome by emotion as he softly ran his hand across her cheek.

She leaned into his touch quickly loosing herself in how wonderful it felt to be in his arms again. In an instant she quickly reminded herself of the words she had wanted to share with him all week long.

"I have something really important that I want to talk to you about," she said softly as his gaze almost blazed through her.

"Yeah?" he questioned warmly.

"Sully, this week has taught me something so very important…" she began.

"What's that?" he implored as his strong hands gently caressed her arms.

"There were many times when I felt like a single parent. I didn't have anyone to turn to when I needed support or relief or help…"

"Oh, honey…" he returned sympathetically ready to dive in with words of apology.

"Please…Let me finish," she quickly jumped in. "I realized that you must have felt that way for months…. And you didn't just do the bare minimum required to simply get by. You cooked dinner every night, helped Hannah with her homework, baked cookies for Katie's class party, picked the girls up from daycare, made their lunches at night, played with them, and put them to bed every night, all the while you still went to work full time. And on top of all that stress and work, you took care of me like I was a third child. You never complained, gave up, or indicated that you couldn't play the hero any longer… I have no clue whatsoever how you did all of that with no support from me… I sincerely apologize to you for leaving you to struggle through those dark months alone…" she stuttered her voice showing the deep emotion she felt inside.

"That was so very very wrong of me… The day I married you, I promised to stand by your side and support you through everything… I haven't done that here… You have constantly and endlessly supported me, but I have failed to do that in return. I'm truly very sorry… I let you down…" she stammered through tears.

"Michaela, look at me," he urged softly. "You have never once, in the entire nine and a half years I have known ya, _ever_ let me down. I'm not goin' ta stand here and tell ya that it wasn't incredibly difficult to do all of that alone, 'cause it certainly was very demandin' at times. However, I promised ya things the day I married you, too. I swore I would always be there for you. I promised ta be the shoulder you leaned on… This was a time when ya needed my shoulder more than ever. During those months you needed someone to take care of ya fully, and I was more than happy ta be that someone… Depression isn't something you can just 'deal with' or 'get over', and I know that completely. When I did ask ya to do something for me, you did exactly what I asked although it was incredibly difficult for ya…"

She looked at him in question trying to figure out what he was referencing.

"All I asked was that ya talk to Audrey for me. And ya did that…" he explained. "When I extended a hand to ya and begged you ta take my help, that's exactly what ya did. Every week you've diligently made an effort to get better, and that's all I could ever ask of you. There's also something very important that you're forgettin' here. While I took care of Hannah and Katie, you took care of our son. Don't ya realize what a truly important job that is? In the midst of one of the hardest times of your life, you still took care of him. Sweetheart, you have ta understand that I love you three girls more than anything. Before I met ya, I didn't know what it was like to love another so unconditionally. When you are in dire pain, I am as well… When your heart breaks, mine shatters too… I did everything in my power ta help you in any way that I could. Not because I had to, but because I live to… When your pain ran so deep I couldn't remove it, carin' for you and this family and loving you unconditionally was something I could do…"

Hearing his gentle words only propelled her love for him further. Standing in his arms she realized something for the very first time. Something Audrey had seen from the very beginning…

"Sully…" she started.

"Yeah?" he probed.

"Audrey was so very right… I didn't truly find comfort in her words until this very minute. She said that if we continued to support one another this ordeal with our son was something we could learn to cope with. She was right… I have something that no other mother with a child diagnosed with spina bifida has…"

"And what's that?" he returned with a warm smile.

"_You_…" she returned adoringly.

"Well, that's a two way street. I have something that no other father has…"

She smiled at him, her face shining with the love and admiration she felt deep inside. As she leaned in further resting her head against his chest, he placed his chin lightly against her head.

"See all five of us are goin' ta be just fine… When I have ya by my side, there's nothing in the world I can't handle…"

"You're right…" she replied before pulling back gently and turning her gaze downward. Then, placing her hands softly across her stomach, she uttered, "…we're going to be just fine."

He gently stepped to his left, and pulled her into his arms from behind. Then, placing both hands on top of hers, both sat in silence marveling in the closeness they felt between the three of them.

"What are these big plans for today?" she asked as curiosity returned in the lull of conversation.

"I thought we could go out ta breakfast, and then start working on his room together. How does that sound?"

"Perfect. But first I have to show you something…" she explained. Then, after sliding from his arms, she took him by the hand and led him towards their son's room.

As they walked hand in hand down the hallway, he flashed her a puzzled smile wondering what she could possibly want to show him that had her this excited. Stepping into the empty room, she quickly flipped the light switch on, though with the bright sunlight streaming through the windows the room really didn't need it. His eyes immediately landed on the stretch on canvas lying across the blue-grey carpet.

His mouth literally felt to the floor as his eyes danced across the half-finished painting. She had drawn it in a perspective in which he actually felt like he was on board the ship steering it towards the island in the distance. From the ivory colored sails to the distressed brown ropes holding the sails high in the sky full of seagulls, each and every detail had been painting the exact same way she had painted both Hannah and Katie's murals, with the uttermost love and excitement for the new life she was about to bring into the world. Running his hand along the wooden captain's wheel, he was completely in awe at the true artistic talent his wife possessed.

"Well…" she started with a playful grin eager to hear the excitement in his voice that was etched across his stunning features.

"Well what?" he teased full well knowing she wanted to hear his opinion.

"Do you like it?" she asked shyly worried he may be harboring hidden anger that she hadn't waited for him to start working on the room.

He chuckled slightly as he pushed off from the floor, and wrapped her in his arms once again.

"What's funny?" she questioned as she searched his face for an answer.

"It's funny that ya always look so worried when ya ask me if I like a mural you've painted. How in the world could any man with eyes look at that beauty and not appreciate it? You've outdone yourself once again. Time after time our son will enter this room with friends in tow, excited beyond belief to show them _his_ pirate ship his stunning mother painted with her own two hands," he replied with a wink.

"Well I'm beyond thrilled to hear that Captain Byron Sully approves," she teased unable to resist the urge to poke fun of him.

Closing one eye and scrunching up his face slightly he replied, "Aarg matey Captain Sully loves that there paintin', but he despises the likes of maidens who dare to call him Byron."

She giggled in response shaking her head playfully, regretfully unable to think up a witty comeback line.

"As punishment I'm goin' ta feed ya to that crocodile that ate that tickin' clock!" he finished wiggling his eyebrows mischievously.

"You mean the one from Peter Pan?" she returned with a grin that almost seemed to span the entire length of her face.

"Yeah," he responded his face still scrunched up to resembled a one-eyed pirate.

"Peter Pan was a cartoon. I think I'll take my chances if the crocodile isn't _real_," she challenged with a gleam in her eyes.

"Nah, that ain't it. You'll take your chances 'cause you know I can't live without you Michaela Ann Quinn-Sully."

"Well there's that too…" she agreed.

"Come on let's go eat I'm starvin'. And I know if I'm hungry, there's no doubt you are too," he said with a smile as he pulled her towards the door.

"Sully?" she questioned stopping in the doorway to flick the light off.

"Yeah?"

"There's something really important I want to buy today… Something I want to give our little boy the day he's born…We won't be able to hold him for a while, and it will make me feel better if we give him something…special," she explained.

"Sure," he acknowledged curious to know what she had in mind. However, he knew that she probably wanted to show him rather than tell him, that was the reason she hadn't volunteered such a detail yet. In all honesty, he would do anything for her, and leading the way down the staircase he knew she would reveal that detail in time, and that was more than fine by him.

He still couldn't believe she had begun to paint that mural while he was away. She was truly moving fully into acceptance, and it warmed his heart to know that she wasn't going to let this crush her. No, she had come bounding back as strong as ever. That strength was one of the things he loved the most about her. Smiling to himself he realized the Michaela he truly loved had finally come back to him. She had been there all along, but hidden behind the heartache of tragedy. Now she had finally broken through, and he couldn't be happier to have her by his side once again.

* * *

"So, she started off telling me that she had some good news and bad news. When I asked about the bad news she said 'I sort of owe Madison some money'. I completely had it figured out by that point, but I figured I would let her finish. Then, she explained that Madison gave her money for lunch. I asked her what happened to the money I had given her, and she broke into tears as she explained that she put it into the open pocket of her jacket I had told her not to and had lost it," she finished looking up from her plate to see his response.

"What did you say back?" he prompted.

"I told her it wasn't her fault, and that I knew she was too young to hold onto that money all day. Then, she apologized again in guilt. I felt so sorry for her. You know our perfect Miss Hannah was probably worried about it all day long," she explained.

"Oh, I'm sure she was! Well, back to packin' her lunch then," he responded.

"Hmm yes. I packed her one on Thursday and one for today. After that traumatizing incident, I wouldn't dare give her money again… Poor girl," she said with a small laugh.

"Ya know where she gets that from, though?" he questioned raising an eyebrow slightly.

"You can't be referring to me," she returned with a playful smile.

"Hey, I've heard enough stories from your sisters to know that's exactly who I'm referring to. Little Miss Perfect Michaela Quinn… Straight A's in school, won piano recital after piano recital, had her paintings in art shows…" he teased.

"Hey, that's not fair! I just excelled at things I set my mind to accomplish. That's determination not perfection. Believe me there were times when I was far from perfect…" she replied.

"Yeah, I guess there was that one time…" he challenged with a gleam in his eye.

"What time?" she questioned curiously.

"Mmm, that time you came home from Kindergarten in tears after you stormed out of the building," he said unable to hold back his laughter.

She turned bright red at his comment, completely unaware he had ever even heard that story. She made a mental note to get Rebecca back for that one, as she had to be the culprit responsible for revealing that story.

"I can't believe you heard that story! Who told you about that?" she questioned as he continued to laugh.

"I'm not revelin' my informant. They won't tell me good stories like that again if I do," he returned through laughter.

"Well, I'm sure they didn't tell it right," she retorted.

"Why don't ya tell it to me then? I would love ta hear it from _your_ mouth," he teased.

"Don't make me tell _that _story," she whined.

"I'm not _makin'_ you do anything."

"I still can't believe you know about that. It's like one of the most embarrassing stories of my life," she said shaking her head in disbelief.

He continued to stare at her, hoping to coax the story out of her, as he knew this would be highly entertaining.

"Well I sort of had a problem as a child… with waiting till the last second in school…" she started the embarrassment already blazing on her face.

"So, I heard…" he admitted with a smile.

"I had an accident…" she confessed through clenched teeth.

"In your white and red jumper…" he threw in.

"Sully stop!" she cried her face turning redder by the second.

"If your face turns any brighter, you're goin' ta explode!" he said through a fit of laughter.

"Stop it!" she scolded slapping his hand playfully.

"Come on, I want ta hear the rest," he pleaded.

"Well, teachers back then weren't so understanding about that sort of thing. My teacher would punish children by making them stand in front of the class to be ridiculed, assuming that you wouldn't make that mistake again. Well I wasn't going to stand for that, so when she told me to stand in front of the class I grabbed my backpack and left."

By this time he was laughing hysterically unable to even encourage her to continue.

"I walked the entire twelve blocks home…" she added.

"And the school called your parents freakin' out 'cause they couldn't find ya…" he returned wiping tears from his eyes.

"Yes. I came in the door sobbing hysterically, thinking I was in for the punishment of a lifetime. Not to mention I knew my sisters would humiliate me as well."

"Ya didn't get in trouble though, did you?"

"Well if it was up to my mother I would have. She was mortified that I stormed out of class like that. My father was simply amused and said he was proud of me for standing up for myself. He talked to my teacher and smoothed things over, but my mother was furious about that one for years," she finished.

"Oh, man that's just too funny!" he said shaking his head in disbelief.

"You're mean, you know that? I just told you about one of the most embarrassing moments of my life, and you can't stop laughing."

"I'm sorry! I truly can't help it. Imaginin' you stormin' out of class with that angry walk of yours! It gets me every time. And all because ya waited till the last second just like Katie does! See it's just so darn funny!" he cried over come by laughter again.

"Okay, if you are going to laugh at me, I'm going to leave you to finish your lunch alone," she warned.

"Alright alright, I won't laugh at ya anymore. But just for a second…picture that happening to Hannah. Tell me that's not funny."

She knew he was right. Looking back on it years and years later, it was pretty funny. At the time it certainly wasn't amusing at all, but now it was a slightly different story. She bit down hard on her bottom lip trying to suppress a grin.

"See it's funny," he said with another grin as he noticed her attempt to hold back her own giggle.

"I'm changing the subject now," she returned knowing she couldn't hold out much longer. "I can't believe we ate breakfast and lunch out. We never do that."

"True, but there is no food in the house," he said with a laugh. "Besides after all that shoppin', I wasn't about ta go to the grocery store before I had lunch."

"I guess that's a point," she said with a smile thinking about all the Christmas gifts and things for their son's room they had purchased that morning.

"So, what exactly did you feed the girls all week?" he wondered.

"Well we ate out… a lot…" she admitted.

"I'm sure the girls enjoyed that," he returned with a grin.

"Oh, they did. They'll be sorry it's back to regular food tonight…"

"Not if I make them pizza," he suggested.

"Good idea. That will lessen the blow," she agreed.

"What?" she returned as she caught his eyes fixed on her once again.

"I'm just admiring your smile. It's been a long time since I've seen you this happy…" he confessed softly.

"I'm sorry about that…" she professed.

He placed his right hand softly over her left before saying, "Don't be sorry. I'm just glad you're back."

She returned his smile before taking his hand into her own and holding it tightly. He couldn't get over how truly happy he was that she was laughing, joking, and smiling again. He hated to admit it, but a large part of him worried that this would change again after their son was born. He felt some of his relief from earlier that morning fade, as he realized that she could easily slip away from him once again. They both seemed to have accepted his condition, but acceptance in this abstract form was very different from acceptance when you dealt with a problem on a daily basis. He simply tried to concentrate on what she had said to him this morning, that as long as they had each other they could cope with anything life threw their way.

* * *

**December 12****th****, 2017**

He gently inserted the metal key into the ignition, then turned to his right knowing her tears were bound to burst forth any second. After meeting with James again, he knew she had been holding back her sorrow until they were alone. As soon as he looked deep into her eyes that were fixed straight ahead, he couldn't believe the emotion behind them. He had been expecting to see sorrow or sadness, but instead she looked terrified.

"Sweetheart…" he began, tenderly enclosing his right hand around her left.

She quickly turned her eyes towards him, but remained silent as eyes and hearts wound together so deeply words couldn't describe.

"What are ya thinkin'?" he asked softly.

She opened her mouth to speak, though she uttered no words. However, her eyes still remained fixed on his deep blue ones.

"Honey, please don't shut me out again…" he pleaded desperately.

He couldn't ignore the voice in the back of his head screaming those thoughts of doubt and worry, as he feared she would put up a wall again as she had done months ago.

"No…" she stammered. "I'm trying to tell you… It's just that I don't really know what to say…"

His mind calmed down somewhat knowing that she was expressing an interest in truly talking to him. Now it was simply a matter of helping her along slightly.

"What are you feelin' then? Maybe you should start there…" he said knowing they could figure out the 'why' later.

"Scared…" she said softly, squeezing his hand tightly.

"What are you scared of?" he tried hoping to coax more out of her. "Are ya scared about what's goin' ta happen to him when he's born? Or finally findin' out how severe this defect really is?"

"No… it's not that…" she admitted turning her eyes towards the dashboard.

"Okay…" he replied, simply to let her know he heard her.

His brain began to run in over-drive trying to think of another reason why she would feel this way.

"I feel awful even saying it…." she confessed turning her eyes up towards his once again.

This time he could see the guilt behind them. She appeared to be ashamed of whatever she was scared of…

"You can tell me anything. Ya know that…" he prompted as he took her other hand tightly into his left.

"It's silly…" she ventured still clearly ashamed to admit it aloud.

"If something is scarin' you there's nothing silly about it… It's the way you truly feel and there's nothing wrong with that," he spoke with compassion.

"It's just that… Well… I've never really had surgery… I mean I know they closed wounds on my head twice, but that's not the same. I didn't even know about it until they had already treated my injuries… And Hannah and Katie were normal deliveries… It's just a c-section is major abdominal surgery… It's not like I wasn't aware that this would be down the road, but actually setting a date for it… I don't know I just felt so panicked the moment he said January 14th with such finality …"

The moment those words fell into the silence of the car, he felt so very sorry for her. Shifting in his seat he moved as close to her as he could, though the gearshift and cup holders made that immensely difficult. He definitely regretted his decision to discuss this in the car, but he knew the ride home would have been terribly awful if he hadn't brought it up ahead of time. Sitting on the plastic divider between the seats, he wrapped his arms around her the best he could.

"Oh, honey…" he said softly as he cradled her head against his chest. "There's absolutely nothing silly about that. It's normal ta be scared about havin' any kind of surgery. It doesn't matter how 'standard' they tell ya it is. Everyone is always concerned about undergoing anything like that. I know I would be terrified…"

"It's just so selfish to even feel that way…I'm sitting here worried about having a standard surgery when my son will be hours old and have a surgery that would never be described as standard…"

"It's not selfish at all that you're worried; it's called being human. I would find it unreal if ya weren't a little worried. And you're right our son's surgery will be more intense but that doesn't have anything ta do with your right to feel a level of fear here… Though, I promise you I will be with ya the entire time. Like you said it's a standard surgery that doctors really don't even view as surgery. You'll be worried about it probably until it's over, but I promise you'll be fine. I'll make sure of it," he supplied encouragingly as he gently stroked her arm.

"I know you will," she said with a small smile. "This is just so different from waiting for Hannah or Katie to be born…"

"Well yeah. This time there won't be hours and hours and hours of screamin'," he said with a smile.

"Yeah, I suppose you're right about that," she said wiping a stray tear from her face.

"And hey you're forgettin' about the good news they told us today. Great news actually… They still don't see anything on the ultrasound that would tell them he has hydrocephalus."

"Very good point," she acknowledged softly, leaning back further into his arms.

"Anytime ya worry about him havin' ta undergo surgery at such a young age, just focus on the fact that surgery will save his life. If they didn't have that surgery, he wouldn't have a chance ta live a long and happy life…"

She nodded softly then whispered, "Thank you for listening…"

"It's what I'm here for. And don't ever feel bad about bein' scared. It's what anyone would feel in your position…"

"Do you have any idea how much comfort just being in your arms brings me?"

"Yeah, I have an idea," he returned with a grin.

"I love you so much. I can never say those three words enough…"

"I love you, too… And sometimes it's what you do, not what ya say, that shows me that's true… Thank you lettin' me in this time…" he spoke in gratitude.

"I learned my lesson last time… I can't do this without you," she returned placing a soft kiss across his lips.

"But together we'll be fine, and so will he. When you are holdin' that sweet little boy in your arms all this anxiety will be gone…" he whispered softly in her ear.

She smiled up at him and nodded slightly before laying her head on his chest once again. As he ran his fingers gently through her hair and felt her heart beating against his chest, he held onto her tightly. Surrounded by his warm embrace, she could feel the strength of his deep love for her pouring from his heart. As they sat in silence watching the grey clouds overhead begin to scatter raindrops through the city, he truly never wanted to let her go. In his arms she felt safe and loved; he knew that to be true. And protecting her from harm and sharing with her all the love in his heart was all he had ever really wanted in life since the day he met her.


	24. Chapter 24

**Ch.24**

**December 15****th****, 2017**

She looked on with a smile as Hannah slid down the red metallic slide into the pit full of plastic balls. Katie waited for her sister to emerge from the depths of the colored plastic with an enormous grin on her face before looking back in Michaela's direction. Michaela waved encouragingly, and after returning the gesture, she too slid down the slide with a big grin on her face.

"They look like they're havin' fun on Santa's workshop playground," Sully said with a joyful chuckle.

"Of course. We gave them permission to climb and jump on things," Edmund added with a wink.

"So, how did ya convince Tristan to play along with this? I'm guessin' he's figured it out by now?" Sully speculated.

"To be entirely honest with you, I actually don't know whether he knows the truth or not. Do you know honey?" he asked turning toward his wife.

"Oh, he _knows_. Your son is just incredibly smart. He realizes that if he continues to play along with this then he can ask for whatever he wants for Christmas and be almost guaranteed to get it," she explained with a smile.

"Yeah, you're probably right. Santa won't deny him crazy gift requests if he behaves because then Santa won't be able to explain that one to Addie," Edmund returned.

"There you've got it," Rebecca said with a laugh turning her eyes back towards her giggling children.

"So, what did you have to hunt down this year Santa?" Edmund ventured.

"Hmm… Well Katie changed her mind a dozen times. See she thinks that she doesn't need ta have a final decision until she visits Santa a week before Christmas. What she doesn't realize is that if Santa waits 'til a week before Christmas ta get her toy, it's not goin' ta be anywhere in the city," he said with a laugh.

"What did she eventually decide on? Or has it changed in the last hour even?" Rebecca wondered.

"Well, we told her after we finally found that Disney Princess kitchen that she couldn't change her mind again," Michaela added rolling her eyes slightly.

"Hannah was easy. She knew since about October what she was goin' ta ask for…" Sully chimed in.

"And what was that?" Edmund questioned.

"The Barbie Pink World 3-Story Dream Townhouse," Sully answered.

"Man, you've got that down pat there. I would just have remembered that it was a dollhouse…" Edmund returned with a laugh.

"That's how many times she's told me. I couldn't forget it even if I wanted to," he explained.

"What is Tristan asking for?" Michaela questioned.

"Oh, Santa was only too happy to bring him this present…" Edmund returned with a wide grin.

"He wants an air hockey table, and this baby over here…" she said gesturing towards her husband. "He is worse than Tristan. He can't wait to play with it himself. I had to convince him that if he put it together before Christmas Eve we would never be able to hid it…"

"I can't help it! That thing is cool. You'll have to come over the day after Christmas and try it out," Edmund explained to Sully.

"Will do," Sully returned.

"Look my husband is no better," Michaela chimed in shaking her head. "What's Addie asking Santa to bring her?"

"She wants an American Girl Doll. After playing with Hannah's so often, she now wants one of her own," Rebecca responded.

"Which one does she want?" Michaela wondered.

"The blond one that's from the 1930s…. I can't remember her name…" Rebecca answered deep in thought.

"Kit," Edmund added with a smile.

"Wow, I'm impressed," Sully chimed in shaking his head in disbelief. "You remembered the doll's name? Wow man!" he said with a chuckle.

"Hey, it's only a result of being the one to call in the order over the phone," Edmund responded in defense.

"Must have been nice just ta call and have it shipped to your house instead of searchin' the city for it," Sully mused.

"Oh, yeah that was definitely the best part by far," he returned with a grin.

"Where do we want to eat dinner?" Rebecca questioned contemplating plans for the evening.

"Hmm we could go ta that old-fashioned diner down the street that has those really great hamburgers," Sully suggested.

"Oh, yeah let's do that," Edmund added.

"Sounds great," the girls agreed.

"Alright, how much longer do we want ta give them here on the playground?" Sully asked.

"Oh, about another ten minutes, then we'll make them get in line to see Santa," Michaela recommended to which the other three readily agreed.

Sully slowly stood from the plastic bench and walked the few feet towards the playground ahead. Sticking his head up against the red net, he motioned for Hannah to come to his side. Crawling through the sea of red and green balls, she arrived in front of him with a big smile on her face.

"Yeah?" she questioned as she began to climb up the red net.

Soon she was face to face with her father, clinging onto the net by her tiny fingers and toes. Sully couldn't help but laugh, as he hadn't anticipated her climbing up the side of this ball pit to face him so directly.

"Hannah, sweetie can ya please let your sister and cousins know that we're goin' ta give you guys ten more minutes to play on the playground?" he requested with a smile.

"Why only ten minutes?" she questioned with pleading eyes.

"Well you want to see Santa don't you? You've got ta tell him what ya want for Christmas," he explained with a wink.

"Yeah!" she cried in excitement. "I have to tell him all about the Barbie 3-Story Townhouse."

"Yep, 'cause right now he doesn't know what ya want for Christmas. Now get down from there you crazy monkey and go deliver my message. Remember Santa's elves are watchin' you," he teased with a grin.

"Oh, I _remember,_" she replied in understanding. "I'm on my way," she said with a smile before releasing her hold on the net and free-falling backward into the plastic balls.

Sully watched as she emerged with a grin, her hair standing on end from the static electricity. He couldn't stop laughing as he waved in her direction once more before taking a seat beside Michaela again.

"What's so funny?" she asked having not witnessed the scene before her.

"Your daughter is just crazy that's all," he explained shaking his head slightly.

"Which one?" she quipped.

"Well, Hannah was the one I was talkin' about, but Katie is crazy too."

"That crazy is definitely something they both got from _you_," she teased with a grin.

"I don't know you can be pretty crazy at times…" he said with a mischievous smile.

"I'm not crazy. I don't know what you're talking about…" she trailed off giving him a prefect opening.

"Well you can be pretty crazy when you're _alone_ with just me…" he whispered seductively in her ear.

"Sully, stop!" she cautioned as she glanced over in her sister's direction. "You need to behave…"

"_Misbehaving_ is too much fun…" he returned his voice still low.

"Remember Santa's elves are watching you…" she said with a large smile, as she bit down on her bottom lip to suppress her laughter.

"That's okay. I already have what I want for Christmas…" he returned raising his eyebrows playfully. "_You…_" he whispered before placing a slow kiss on her neck.

She smiled as she felt herself literally melting in his arms. All thoughts of stopping him were lost as his warm lips made contact with her skin.

"You two are ridiculous," Edmund said with a laugh staring directly at them.

Sully regretfully pulled back and offered a shrug in Edmund's direction.

"I can't help it. I fall in love with her all over again every time I look into those sparkling eyes," he answered with a smile.

"Why can't you say things like that to me?" Rebecca teased nudging her husband playfully.

"Come on Sully, you're making me look bad here," Edmund said with a small chuckle.

"Sorry man," he stated with a wink before wrapping his arm around his wife once more.

As she laid her head against his shoulder, she couldn't keep herself from smiling. And as they began to discuss the children again with Rebecca and Edmund, she couldn't stop thinking about what he had said. _I fall in love with her all over again every time I look into those sparkling eyes… _He truly was perfect; the very perfect one for her. There was no other way to describe this man that had touched her heart so deeply and was such a part of her soul.

* * *

"Daddy look!" Katie said in excitement pointing to a plastic penguin on her left.

Sully turned his gaze towards the winter scene to his left emitting a small chuckle at the sight before him.

"Looks like that polar bear is goin' ta get it," he returned looking at the snowball in the penguin's hand.

"Poor polar bear," Katie returned with a giggle.

"Daddy…" she began again.

"Yeah?" he inquired glancing down into his young daughter's shining eyes.

"Why don't we get snow here like they do in Boston?"

"Well, sweetheart it doesn't get cold here like it does in Boston. So, when the clouds are full of water here, it just rains. In Boston when they're full of water it snows instead 'cause the clouds are so cold,"

"Oh, okay," she returned with a nod placing her free hand onto one of the red and white striped 'candy cane' ropes.

"Katie, honey, please don't touch that. It might fall over, and it's also full of germs," he explained.

She quickly withdrew her hand before nodding up at him.

"How much longer do we have to wait?" she asked becoming impatient.

"Not too much longer…" he said glimpsing up at the front of the line.

"I'm bored…" she returned swinging their joined hands back and forth.

"Let's play a game then," he suggested with a smile.

"What game?" she wondered wide-eyed.

"How about I-Spy?"

"Yeah!" she replied excitedly jumping up and down.

"Alright… I spy something green…" Sully supplied.

"Is it that Christmas tree over there?" Katie questioned pointing at a tree a few feet away.

"Nope. Guess again," he returned.

"Hmmm how about that wreath?" she questioned hopefully.

"Not that either," he responded.

"How about the Grinch?" she said with a laugh.

"The Grinch isn't here, silly," he answered pulling her into his arms and tickling her into a fit of giggles.

"Katie, it's our turn!" Hannah called from Michaela's side a few feet ahead.

Sully quickly relented, placing a kiss on her cheek. "Go on," he urged gently.

"What was it Daddy?"

"What was what?" he questioned.

"What was the green thing?" she wondered.

"Oh, it was that crazy snowball throwin' penguin's scarf," he explained.

"Gotcha," she said with a smile before running up next to Hannah.

He quickly arrived at Michaela's side, wrapping his arms around her gently. They looked on with smiles on their faces as both Hannah and Katie sat on Santa's lap. Hannah animatedly described the dollhouse perfectly even supplying a drawing of the house she'd made weeks ago. They both breathed a sigh of relief when Katie did indeed describe the pink and purple Disney Princess kitchen.

"So, what do you want for Christmas?" he asked softly as she leaned back further into his arms.

"I don't want anything," she answered sincerely.

"Nothing?" he responded in amazement.

"No, I already have everything I wished for as a child."

"And what was that?" he asked.

"I used to stare out the snow-covered windows in Boston and wish that one day I would have a family of my own with the most perfect man in the world. My wish came true…" she said wistfully.

"I love you, sweetheart," he whispered gently.

"And I love you too…forever," she returned before turning her focus back to her daughters.

As she continued to watch the excitement sparkling in their eyes with Sully's arms wrapped tightly around her, she couldn't have been happier.

* * *

**December 19****th****, 2017**

"Daddy, can I please have a candy cane?" Hannah asked preparing to grab one off the tree.

"After ya eat your tacos," Sully said with a grin, as he saw the eager look in his daughter's eyes.

"Well, can I pick one out now?" she pleaded.

"I don't know..." he said faltering slightly, mostly out of jest.

"Please Daddy..." she asked again, flashing him a pouting face.

Looking into her eyes sparkling with excitement, he realized how much she truly looked like Michaela. He had never been able to deny his stunning wife any request she made, and when Hannah begged like that he couldn't resist her either.

"Okay..." he relented.

The second he agreed she pulled one from the tree and ran towards the plastic mat in front on the TV plopping down next to Katie. After watching Hannah set her striped candy cane beside her, he saw Katie turn to look in his direction, and he knew exactly what she was going to say before the words even left her mouth.

As he began to stand from the couch, Michaela entered the room flashing him a smile and saying sweetly, "I've got it."

Then, after pulling another candy cane from the tree and tossing it into Katie's waiting arms, she took a seat beside him.

"Okay, is everybody ready now?" Sully inquired.

"Yeah!" both Katie and Hannah returned.

"Oh shoot! Hang on…" he explained sliding from his seat and crossing the room.

The second he flipped the light switch down, all three girls turned their eyes towards the brightly lit Christmas tree in the corner of the room.

"It's real pretty," Katie exclaimed in awe.

"Sure is," Hannah agreed her eyes turned towards the brightly lit star on top.

"I couldn't agree more," Michaela chimed in as Sully joined her back on the couch.

"Okay _now_ we're ready," he proclaimed picking up the remote.

"Yeah! I love The Grinch!" Katie cried in excitement as the movie title flashed across the screen.

"You are a Grinch," Sully quipped with a smile.

"No, I'm not!" Katie quickly returned in protest.

"Yeah, you are!" Hannah quickly chimed in.

"Nu uh!" Katie protested even louder becoming more upset by the second.

"Aww Katie come here," Sully requested extending his arms forward.

Katie quickly ran into his arms, burying her head in his chest.

"Sweetie, I was just teasin'," he returned gently knowing she was moments away from tears.

"I know, but Hannah wasn't," she replied with eyes full of sadness.

"Oh, yeah of course she was just teasin'. Weren't ya Hannah?" he questioned.

"Yeah," Hannah returned softly, clearly entranced with the movie.

"See? She was just teasin' too. It's not possible for you to be a Grinch. You're too sweet," Sully explained lovingly.

Katie simply smiled in return as he whispered in her ear, "I didn't mean to upset you, princess. You're one of the sweetest little girls I've ever met."

"I love you Daddy," she returned before pulling back slightly.

"Love you too," he said, placing a kiss on her cheek.

As Katie scampered back to her seat in front of the TV next to Hannah, Sully turned his eyes back to the screen ahead. Within a matter of minutes, he could feel her eyes boring into him. Turning his gaze to the right, he couldn't help but smile from ear to ear as her eyes shimmered in the darkness, the bright lights from the tree reflected in her eyes. Taking her delicate hand into his own, he watched as her smile only grew.

"What?" he returned softly, as she often did when he was fixing his gaze onto her.

"Nothing. I'm just thinking about what a truly wonderful husband and terrific father you are, and how happy I am with you… how happy I've always been…" she explained softly.

"And always will be…" he quickly added moving the plate in her lap to the floor.

Then, wrapping her in his arms, he simply gazed into the eyes of the woman that always managed to leave him breathless.

"Every time I look at you, I see a tiny piece of heaven in your eyes. Nothing in any world or lifetime could be more beautiful or enchantin' then that sparkle lyin' deep inside each of them…" he whispered, his face mere inches from hers.

"I can't live without you…." she returned mesmerized by the pull he had over her mind and heart.

"I won't ever ask you to…" he spoke softly against her ear as he began to trace her lips lightly with his forefinger.

She closed her eyes slowly, waiting for the second he would press his soft lips against hers. The second his finger left her lips she could feel them tingling in anticipation, knowing his kiss would soon follow. She wasn't disappointed as his lips gently caressed hers, sending her heart skyrocketing. As she felt him pull back, she opened her eyes as she slowly crashed back down to earth. Turning to look at him, she questioned him with her eyes alone. Both shining with love and desire, each pleaded with him to know why he had extinguished the fire between them.

He merely gestured towards Hannah and Katie, and she nodded in understanding. She quickly realized that he had felt those same feelings of overwhelming passion, and knew that their kiss wouldn't stay 'in control' for much longer. Leaning further into his arms, she laid her head against his chest, breathing in deeply. With her head on his chest and her hand over his heart, he felt so overwhelmed with the love he felt for her. He truly didn't know if he could contain it inside of him, and he gave her a small squeeze knowing she would understand all that was in his heart.

As he glanced around the dark room, his eyes finally landed on the five stockings hung from the wooden banister framing the staircase. Looking from left to right he admired the glittering, cursive letters spelling out _Michaela, Sully, Hannah, and Katie_. He couldn't stop the memories that flooded his heart as his eyes finally landed on the last tiny stocking. The little red sock had white trim along the top edge like the other four, however it was not engraved with any silver glitter letters. Instead it had a tiny snowman peaking out of the opening that seemed to be smiling right at him. He could still vividly recall the very first time he had hung that stocking from the banister….

* * *

**December 3****rd****, 2010 **

He looked down at the little red sock in his hand, and as his heart was filled with happiness his teeth were on display for the world through his grin. He almost couldn't stand the excitement, knowing she would be overjoyed with what he had done.

Taking the other two stockings from the paper bag, he lightly traced his finger across the cursive letters spelling out 'Michaela'. Every time he saw those letters together, forming that single word his mind always shot towards thoughts of her. It was such a beautiful name…It was so very fitting for a woman that seemed to defy the definition of beautiful with her stunning looks.

He could literally see her eyes lighting up as he presented her with the three velvet, oversized socks. He chuckled to himself remembering the look on her face when he had called them oversized socks…

"_So, we have plenty of ornaments to decorate our tree, but now we need to buy stockings," she explained with a smile adding something else to her list on white stationary. _

"_Stockings?" he questioned, his face looking baffled. _

"_Yeah, stockings," she returned not even glimpsing up from the sheet in her hand. _

"_What do we need stockings for? We don't have a fireplace," he said with a small laugh. _

"_Stockings are a part of Christmas. What difference does a fireplace make? We'll just hang them somewhere else…" she returned glancing around the room. _

"_I never did understand what the big deal was…I mean they are just oversized socks…" he said with a shrug. _

"_What?" she replied her face full of shock. _

"_I mean I never had them growin' up, livin' out here and all… I always thought they were silly…" he stated nonchalantly. _

"_Well, I had them growing up in Boston, and I want our son or daughter to have one. I want to see their face when we fill it up with candy from Santa," she explained. _

"_Alright, that's fine by me if ya want to get one for the baby, but __**we**__ certainly don't need any. I mean I don't see Santa visiting this house until next year…" he said with a smirk. _

"_Fine Mr. Grinch," she returned refusing to meet his gaze. _

"_Woah, rather harsh there!" he teased as he pulled her into his arms. _

"_Let me buy you a stocking, and I'll take it back," she said with a playful grin. _

"_Come on, let's go," he replied pulling her down the hall and towards the garage eager to start their day of shopping. _

Placing all three stockings back in the red paper sack, he bounded down the stairs eager to surprise her. As soon as he entered the living room, she smiled in his direction as she placed another glass ball onto a tree branch.

"I've got something for ya…" he began with his hands entwined behind his back.

"You do, huh?" she responded raising her eyebrows slightly.

"Yeah, come get it…" he requested extending the bag towards her.

With an excited grin she bounded across the room, as the sound of _Jingle Bell Rock_ coming from the radio in the corner filled the room.

"What is it?" she asked taking the bag from his hands.

"Just open it," he answered with a smile.

"_Oh, my God_…" she whispered in a breathless tone.

"Well, ya said they were important to you…" he stated in return.

"Is this one for the baby?" she questioned with tears in her eyes as she fingered the tiny one with a snowman sticking out of the top.

"Yeah... figured we could use that one for Christmases when ya have a little one inside of you…" he suggested.

Looking deep into his eyes shining with love, her heart pounded in that special way it only seemed to beat around him. Jumping up from the couch she quickly ran to his side, wrapping her arms around him tightly.

"They are perfect…Just like you," she said softly leaning further into his arms.

"Glad ya like them…Figured we could hang them on the banister…What do ya think about that idea?" he wondered glancing down into her multi-colored eyes.

"I think that I can't call you Mr. Grinch anymore," she quipped.

"I don't think ya ever should have…Remember I'm the one that always has a Christmas ringtone…" he whispered in her ear as thoughts of the year before flooded his consciousness.

As soon as he said it, his heart literally sank to the floor as he remembered exactly _where _he had been last Christmas. He had tried not to dwell on it too much, knowing that bringing it up repeatedly wouldn't solve anything. He simply had to learn to move on. Even though those months were the worst of his life, they were long ago and a part of the past. That's just where they belonged- in the past. He closed his eyes tightly for a moment, trying to keep the tears behind his eyes.

She immediately saw the look of anguish flash in his eyes before he hid them from the world, and her heart reached out to him knowing the pain he must be feeling.

"Oh, sweetheart what's wrong?" she questioned as she gently pushed a strand of hair behind his ear.

He opened his mouth to speak, but only shook his head slightly. Constantly bringing up those bad memories would only serve to make this Christmas terrible as well. Gazing down at the floor, and then back to his eyes, she whispered, "You're thinking about last year, aren't you? It's okay to tell me you know. I think about it too…"

"Yeah?…" he returned his voice crackling slightly as he pulled her closer. "I can't loose ya again…"

"You're the best thing that's ever happened ta me…" he explained through a chocking sob.

"You won't loose me… I promise," she returned running her hand gently across his cheek.

"Ya can't make that promise…" he replied remembering how little control either of them had over the accident that had almost taken her life.

"Yes, I can. I don't know what you wanted to do for Christmas this year, but I think we should stay here. I think we should stay here in our home, just the two of us. We need time together to make Christmas a holiday we remember with joy not sadness…"

He nodded as he realized how truly happy he was at the thought of spending this holiday alone with her. He had simply assumed she would want to go to Boston, as those were their plans prior to the car accident the year before.

"And I don't want to go to that party this year…" he said almost inaudibly, hoping she would agree.

"I don't blame you one bit, and I'm fine with that. But I have to tell you that not going to that party won't protect me from harm…"

"I know, but I can't do that. I can't go ta that party and not remember what happened on the way home last year… There's no way I can do that…" he confessed.

"I understand, sweetheart," she said softly.

He marveled at how such simply words could convey such a deep meaning. He truly knew that deep inside of her heart she really did understand. She wasn't simply saying the words aloud for the sake of showing sympathy. Deep down inside she really did understand what that would be like for him. With her words, and her eyes she showed him that her soul was completely connected to his own.

Smiling up at him, she said softly, "I think it's about time we started to make some happy memories of Christmas time."

"I couldn't agree with ya more," he responded before she pulled back from his arms and crossed the room to retrieve another box.

As he continued to gaze at her from across the room, he felt the tears forming in his eyes as _What Child Is This _began to play on the radio. He had almost lost her… It was something that he thought about every day of his life… Every morning he woke up with her in his arms, he could never forget that his precious soulmate was almost taken from him… A mere seventeen days from now would mark that awful night… The one he still wished he could take back or change…But Michaela was right; he needed to focus on making happy memories of Christmas time.

Crossing the room, he wrapped his arms around her from behind. She turned her eyes downward, as she felt his warm hand across her abdomen. She lovingly placed her hand on top of his, breathing in deeply as she shut her eyes softly. Withdrawing his hand gently, he placed his hands on her shoulders, turning her around to face him. Then, taking a small piece of mistletoe out of his pocket, he held it above her head looking down into her eyes. She smiled up at him, before their lips connected in an all-consuming love for one another. When their lips parted, she opened her eyes only to see him smiling in return. She quickly wrapped her arms around his waist, feeling so overcome with love for him she literally couldn't get close enough.

As he felt her heart beating against his chest, he knew there would never come a day when he would doubt God or the power of prayer. His wife was alive to celebrate this Christmas with him… and she was carrying his child. He literally had his world in his arms, and he knew how truly blessed he was to be able to claim just that.


	25. Chapter 25

**Ch.25 **

**December 25****th****, 2017 **

"Mommy, can we go down yet? I can't take it anymore!" Katie cried in excitement bouncing her legs up and down as she sat on the top step of the staircase down to the living room.

"Not yet, sweetie. Daddy is going to call up and let us know," she explained with a smile.

"He's taking forever. Maybe I should go help him?" Hannah offered with a mischievous grin.

"I don't think so," Michaela returned with a laugh. "Be patient, I'm sure he's almost done."

"Does it really take that long to set up a camera?" Hannah questioned.

"Well I guess it does…" Michaela answered.

She hoped that he wasn't having too much difficulty setting the video camera up on the tripod. They had both agreed years ago that it worked out best if neither one had to physically hold the camera, and could instead simply admire the excited looks that crossed their daughters' faces. However, she could understand her daughters' frustration, as it seemed they had been upstairs for an incredibly long amount of time. Just as she was about to descend the stairs and offer to help him, he appeared at the bottom of the staircase with a large grin on his face.

"Okay, it's all set girls. You can come down now," he said with excitement glowing in his eyes.

"Yay!" they both cried in unison as they bounded down the stairs in sheer anticipation.

Both Michaela and Sully looked on as their daughters' faces lit up upon seeing Santa had indeed delivered the toys they had asked for. She had always heard there was nothing more magical then seeing excitement in your child's eyes, and she knew without a doubt that was true. He gently wrapped his arms around her, and she looked up into his eyes with deep affection written all over her face.

"Merry Christmas," he whispered as he placed a gentle kiss across her lips.

"Merry Christmas," she returned gazing back into his deep blue eyes dazzling with joy.

"Daddy, can you open this?" Katie asked sweetly as she approached his side with a clear plastic bag in hand containing several brightly colored spoons.

"Sure," he returned as she jumped up and down in excitement, handing him the small bag.

He quickly tore it open and handed her the pink, purple, and blue utensils.

"Thanks," she said with a smile before dashing back over towards her bright pink kitchen playset.

"Looks like you forgot one," Michaela whispered nudging him softly.

"Yeah, guess I did. I didn't think to check _inside_ the cabinets," he said with a shrug.

"Well, I didn't think of it either," she returned remembering back to the night before.

Sully had spent several hours after the girls had finally gone to sleep putting together both the kitchen playset and Hannah's dollhouse. She had tried to help, but he had insisted on doing most of it himself. So, after turning on _It's A Wonderful Life_ and eating the cookies the girls had left for Santa, he successfully assembled both toys. He did let her help slightly with a few pieces of the dollhouse in which his hands were too large to snap the tiny pieces into place inside the small rooms.

"What time are your parents and Becca comin' over?" Sully questioned.

"I told them 11 o'clock," she answered as she watched Hannah rearranging the furniture in the three-story house.

"Look Mommy it has a doorbell, and the shower makes noise like the Barbie is singing inside of it!" Hannah cried joyfully as she pushed the buttons over and over.

"That's goin' ta get obnoxious here any minute…" Sully said with a laugh.

"Yeah, but look at that smile…" she returned gazing lovingly at Hannah's ecstatic face.

"Daddy, come here," Hannah urged gesturing for him to join her beside the pink dollhouse.

He reluctantly released his hold on Michaela and arrived at Hannah's side. She quickly began to show him all the features of the dollhouse including the chandelier and patio lights that really lit up and the working elevator.

"Push this button," she requested pointing to a small pink button on the fireplace mantel.

"It sounds like a real fire. Like at grandma and grandpa's house in Boston!" she exclaimed after Sully had pushed the tiny button inward.

"And the kitchen timer makes noise," she added pushing all the tiny buttons in the house in succession.

"That's pretty cool Hannah," he returned glancing back in Michaela's direction.

She quickly brought her hand up across her face trying to suppress her laughter as she remembered how he had eagerly pressed all seven buttons several times the night before claiming to be testing each one. With her eyes fixed on Sully, she failed to notice Katie bouncing up to her holding something behind her back.

"Mommy, I've got something I want to give you…" Katie started with a smile.

"What's that?" she questioned with a gleam in her eye.

"I made you a cookie!" she cried excitedly handing Michaela the plastic chocolate chip cookie.

"Did you make this in your new kitchen?" she asked as she followed Katie over towards the hot pink kitchen with an ivory colored stove.

"Yeah!" she answered excitedly. "Let's have a tea party!" she exclaimed before 'pouring' Michaela a cup of tea and handing her the blue plastic cup.

"Thanks sweetheart. This will go perfectly with my chocolate chip cookie," she returned with a smile.

Upon hearing Hannah's dollhouse doorbell chime once again, she quickly showed Michaela all the sounds_ her_ toy made.

From the running water noise emitted from the facet to the tiny 'ding' the timer made, Katie was utterly fascinated by the entire toy. Michaela couldn't help but grin in Sully's direction again as Katie turned the pages of the plastic cookbook to hear each Disney princess explain her favorite recipe. He had pressed all the buttons on Katie's toy as well, until Michaela had cautioned him against making any more noise as it was bound to wake up the girls.

As soon as his eyes met hers, he smiled with such sheer happiness she knew she would never forget that look on his face.

Before she could say a word, he interrupted her thoughts by saying, "Girls I know ya both love the presents Santa gave you, but can we start openin' the rest of your presents under the tree before grandma and grandpa get here?"

"Yeah!" they both cried excitedly forgetting the toys before them and dashing towards the tree in the corner of the room.

After taking a seat beside Michaela on the couch, he looked over in wonder at the excited looks on both of his daughter's faces as they patiently anticipated ripping open the brightly colored packages under the tree.

"Okay, who wants to go first?" he questioned with a smile.

"I want to!" Hannah quickly chimed in jumping to her feet and grabbing a package from underneath the tree.

Then, she dashed over to the couch holding the package with several bright green bows along the top, extending it towards both Michaela and Sully.

"It's for both of you, so I don't know who wants to open it…" she explained.

"I'll let your mom open this one," Sully answered as Hannah quickly placed the package onto her mother's lap.

"Did you wrap this yourself?" Michaela questioned with a proud smile.

"Yeah!" she confirmed nodding her head in excitement.

Upon ripping open the shiny ivory paper and taking the lid off the solid white box, Michaela held a ceramic gingerbread house with the name _Hannah Sully_ carved in the door.

"Oh, my God Hannah!" Michaela cried as Hannah smiled with glee.

"Did ya make that at school?" Sully questioned as he ran his hand along the red and white striped roof.

"Uh huh. I made it in art class. And see the stripes on the roof are supposed to be like candy canes," she explained with a pleased smile.

"Oh, sweetheart its beautiful!" Michaela declared handing in gently to Sully.

After walking it over to the bookcase and putting it on display for the world to see along with other Christmas decorations, he pulled Hannah into his arms giving her a quick kiss on the cheek.

"I love it baby. Thank you so much," he whispered sincerely.

"Your welcome," she answered before jumping up onto the couch into Michaela's waiting arms.

"That was the perfect gift," Michaela stated with a smile giving her daughter a sweet kiss as well, before she joined Katie on the floor again.

"My turn!" Katie proclaimed pulling a tiny sack out from underneath the tree and arriving at Sully's side.

"My present is for both of you too, so it's Daddy's turn to open it," she explained before handing Sully the tiny gold sack.

"Alright, my turn!" he said as he shook the bag slightly. "Wonder what's inside of it…Maybe its keys to a new car?" he joked.

"Nope," Katie said with a giggle.

"Hmmm… What could it be then?" he speculated again shaking the bag ever so slightly.

"Just open it Daddy!" Hannah called out with a laugh.

"Okay…" he relented before reaching inside the bag and pulling out a handmade ornament with the motif of a tiny mouse scurrying past a hand-drawn Christmas tree.

"Aww Katie I love it!" he proclaimed handing it gently to Michaela.

"And you made this too?" she questioned with a smile admiring each of the brightly colored ornaments her daughter had illustrated on the green tree.

"Yeah! We made them in school," she happily declared.

"Sully, look!" Michaela said pointing to the tiny mouse at the bottom. "That's your fingerprint, isn't it Katie?"

"Yep. My thumbprint made his body," she explained placing her right thumb over the tiny grey mouse.

"This is the coolest ornament I've ever seen. Thank you Katie," he said as he scooped his youngest daughter up in his arms.

"Yes, thank you Katie. It's truly wonderful sweetheart," Michaela chimed in holding back tears of happiness.

She knew she would cherish this ornament forever. Her daughter's tiny fingerprint was emblazed on its surface for a lifetime, capturing a part of her childhood in such a unique way.

After placing Katie back down beside Michaela, Sully hung Katie's ornament on the very front of the tree before retrieving a large package wrapped in paper with Christmas teddy bears gracing it's surface. Michaela gave Katie a quick hug, knowing her attention was now fixed on the package in Sully's hand. She returned her mother's loving gesture before joining her sister on the floor once again.

"Okay, this one is for Hannah, and it's from your mom and me," he explained as he set the package down in front of his elated daughter.

Hannah quickly ripped open the package to reveal a Barbie doll with tiny tools to fill with water and spray, stencil, stamp, and draw colorful designs on the doll's clothes. After shouts of excitement and sincere thanks, it was Katie's turn to unwrap one of the perfectly wrapped packages.

They continued to let the girls open several presents, before Sully could wait no longer to give the one present he had kept a secret for several months.

"Okay, I can't wait any longer ta give you this," he said with a smile that matched the grins across his daughters' faces.

She couldn't help but admire how simply adorable his anticipation was. His stunning features were animated with such joy; she couldn't stop smiling even if she tried as he sat down beside her placing the small silver wrapped box into her hand. She gazed into his eyes for a moment wondering what present could have him this excited to give.

Then, after pulling the light grey ribbon off, tearing the silver paper, and removing the lid from the small black box, she removed a hollow heart shaped pendant. Her heart stopped for a brief second as her breath literally caught in her throat. Along the entire right side of the heart a small ruby, emerald, garnet, and two small amethyst stones were separated by diamonds trailing from the center point of the heart to the very bottom. She opened her mouth to say something, but he had once again rendered her completely speechless.

"Mommy, it's so pretty…" Katie said in awe as she gazed down at the pendant in her mother's hand.

"Oh, I get it!" Hannah cried happily. "Each one of the colored stones is for one of us. I'm the green one, and Katie and Mommy are the purple ones…" she trailed off gazing down at the necklace.

"Yeah, you're exactly right princess," he confirmed still entranced by the sparkle in his wife's eyes.

"Which one is for you Daddy?" Katie asked slightly puzzled.

"The light red one at the top," he explained happily pointing to the small ruby gem.

"Who's the other red one for?" Katie wondered.

"The baby silly," Hannah returned.

"Oh, okay. But I thought you find out which stone is yours after you're born? Our brother hasn't been born yet…" she stammered in confusion.

"You're right sweetie, but we know when he's going to be born. His birthday will be in January, so his stone is the red one at the bottom here…" Sully explained gently.

Katie nodded in understanding, and Sully smiled back in her direction before wrapping his arm gently around Michaela.

"So, do ya like it?" he probed with a smile, already aware of the answer.

"I love it…" she whispered before turning slightly to face him completely. "I don't know how you do it, but every year you literally take my breath away with every gift you give me. This is so incredibly beautiful, but more then that it's so thoughtful… and so very special…" she said softly with a few tears shimmering in her eyes.

"I try ta always give you something as exceptional and gorgeous as you are…" he stated as he reached up to gently wipe the tears falling softly from her eyes.

"I can never say thank you enough…" she whispered knowing that he would truly understand.

He had done so very much in the way of helping her accept the sorrowful news about their son. However, this gesture brought her a whole new sense of peace. He had shown her more times then she could count that he truly believed their son was a blessing. Seeing his birthstone beside Hannah and Katie's just felt so wonderful… so normal…It was the first time she had felt that sense of joy and anticipation about his birth that she had felt with both of her daughters. That joy was the true gift, and he had known that all along…

"I love you so very much…Those words just don't say what I truly feel for you. They will never be enough…" she said softly.

"You promised your heart ta me for a lifetime. That's more then enough..." he said gently as he ran his thumb across the diamond band on her finger.

"I will love you always," she confessed before placing her lips gently onto his, showing him the true feelings in her heart.

As their lips connected, she could fully feel her heart soar with love for him alone. Every time she kissed him, she could feel herself smiling from deep inside. It was as if time stopped as this special link between his soul and her own connected them together in a bond uniquely their own.

Upon hearing Hannah's laughter as Katie exclaimed 'eww gross', she pulled back slightly knowing that time truly hadn't stopped.

"Guess I should give you your present now," she said with a smile as he softly took the necklace from her hand and secured it around her neck.

"Only if you want to…" he ventured playfully.

"I'll get it for you Mommy," Hannah offered knowing her mother didn't move very quickly anymore.

"Thank you honey," she returned affectionately as Hannah placed the shiny red package in her hands.

"Merry Christmas," she said with a smile as she handed him the perfectly wrapped box.

After casting a wink in her direction, he tore open the red paper and crumbled it up in a ball, tossing it directly at Katie. She laughed in response, as he peeled back the white lid to the box on his lap. Upon sorting through layers of tissue paper, he pulled the small, incredibly thin, silver electronic from the box.

"Turn it on," she requested with a grin.

He pressed down on the one small circular button, and the screen flashed on lighting up with one of the family portraits from the hallway. Quickly tapping the tiny button in the screen's corner, he couldn't help but flash a grin rivaling the ones that had danced across Hannah and Katie's faces upon seeing Santa's gifts.

"Touch the photo button," she asked loving his expression as he slowly discovered what was so very special about this gift.

"Oh, my God," he exclaimed as he scrolled through picture after picture of Hannah and Katie. He almost broke out into tears as he continued to scroll through each one coming across pictures from their wedding and even images from their photobooth strip.

"And there are some voice recordings on it too," she shared excitedly as he clicked on the video button.

She had now rendered _him _speechless, as he scrolled through several home videos of Hannah and Katie including two voice messages telling him how much they both loved him.

"Did you put any music on it?" he wondered aloud clicking on the music link.

"Of course I did," she confirmed with a smile as he marveled at the number of his favorite songs and cds she had already compiled.

"Oh, and go to the playlists," she requested gently touching the screen for him.

His heart almost stopped as he saw song after song, all of which were special to just the two of them with _Two Is Better Than One _at the top of the playlist.

"It's a list of all of _our _songs," she whispered softly as he scrolled through the list.

The way she said the word _our_ took his breath away, and after he gently placed the tiny electronic back in the tissue paper he turned towards her fully.

"You truly are amazin'. I hope ya know that I love you with my whole heart… every piece of my soul…This was such an incredible gift…" he said sincerely as he pulled her into his strong arms once again.

"Well I knew you wanted one of those new ridiculously tiny digital music players, and I know that you never have the kind of time required to find all those pictures, scan them into the computer, and load them onto the actual player. And I know you certainly don't have time to sort through home videos and convert them to digital movie files…" she finished with a smile.

"I can't believe that ya found time ta do all that…I would have been happy to find it blank in a plain old box, but leave it to you ta make it one of the most meaningful gifts I've ever received," he returned as his heart beat strongly with the love he felt for her.

"You mean the world to me Sully. Your love has given me the strength to overcome any obstacle thrown my way, and no material gift will ever be enough to show you how much I truly love you…"

"That sparkle in your eyes, and the sincerity in your voice when ya say those words shows me… The way ya love me every day of your life shows me too…" he returned before he kissed her deeply with all the fire in his heart.

"Thank you so very much," he whispered softly as he touched his forehead to hers.

"You're so welcome," she returned as she gazed into his azure eyes shining like sapphires.

"Come here you two," he requested motioning towards an on-looking Hannah and Katie.

With smiles of joy they both arrived at his side, and he quickly pulled both little girls onto his lap.

"Thank you for recordin' those wonderful messages for me. I know I will listen to them over and over…"

"You're welcome…" Hannah returned as she snuggled deeper into her father's arms.

"Yeah, you're welcome," Katie quickly chimed in as she leaned back against her father's chest.

With one arm around each little girl, Michaela leaned against his shoulder, resting her head comfortably against him. With all three of his girls around him, he had never felt more surrounded by love. He took in the few moments of peaceful silence, knowing they wouldn't last much longer as both girls would soon be begging to open the remaining presents. Sure enough within another few seconds, they were squirming to get down and pleading with him to continue unwrapping presents. He quickly gave in allowing Katie to choose another present to unwrap next, and with the girls gone, he wrapped Michaela in his arms fully knowing the memory of this perfect Christmas would last a lifetime.

* * *

**January 13****th****, 2018**

As she placed her hand gently over the plastic page, she marveled at the size of the tiny black fingerprints. She couldn't stop a few tears from seeping out of her eyes, as her mind was flooded with memories from that magical day almost four years ago. Things had felt so very different that warm, February evening… Not only was _she_ an unexpected surprise, but this deep-seeded fear wasn't present… _Her_ entrance into the world had been one full of joy and excitement… She desperately wanted to feel that way this time… She wanted to feel that same level of anticipation and happiness. But instead she only felt panic and apprehension rise inside of her, as in a matter of hours she would finally know the truth… She would finally be faced with something she had been dreading for months now… As she tried to force those terrible thoughts out of her mind, she found herself drifting back to memories of that perfect day so long ago…

* * *

**February 17****th****, 2014 **

She turned her eyes from the clean, white sheet of paper with a perfectly shaped yellow sun in the center, to her daughter's creation on her right.

"Wow, think you have enough paint on there?" she said with a giggle, as she watched Hannah dip her left hand into the blue paint and lay it on top of her paint soaked sheet of paper.

"Yeah!" she said with glee lifting her hands up from the sheet in front of her.

Michaela purely shook her head slightly amused at the grin her young daughter flashed in her direction.

"Do you want another sheet of paper?" she questioned with a knowing smile, to which her daughter bounced her head up and down in excited agreement.

"Hannah, sweetheart your painting is beautiful!" she exclaimed as she pried the paint splattered sheet from the table.

"Thanks, Mommy!" she returned happily as she glanced over at Michaela's painting.

After placing the paint-saturated sheet on the metal drying rack, she set another clean white sheet in front of her daughter.

"Mommy, your sun is real pretty. Can you show me how to do that?" she questioned in awe as she stared at her mother's finger-painted sun.

"You bet I can," Michaela returned eagerly pushing the paper plate with yellow paint closer towards Hannah.

"Okay, dip your pointer finger in the yellow paint," Michaela instructed wiggling her index finger.

Hannah quickly imitated Michaela as she giggled joyfully.

"Now draw a circle in the middle of the page," she explained demonstrating the technique for her tiny sweetheart.

"There you go," she replied in encouragement as Hannah smiled back up in adoration. "Now fill it in with more paint."

"Okay," she exclaimed upon completing this task.

"Next dip your whole pinky finger in the yellow paint, and then put your nail on the tip of the circle, pressing your whole finger down on the paper," Michaela directed showing Hannah step-by-step what she was describing aloud.

"Wow, it looks like yours!" she cried after using her smallest finger to create many more rays on the yellow sun.

"Yeah, it does. You did a wonderful job," Michaela stated her eyes shining with pride.

"Thanks!" she happily returned before using the back of her hand in an attempt to scratch her face.

After hearing her daughter's declaration, Michaela looked up from her drawing and into her daughter's shimmering blue eyes. The second her eyes locked on her sweet face, she couldn't help but laugh.

"What's funny Mommy?" she questioned innocently.

"You have paint all over you face!" she said through a laugh as Hannah reached up with her paint covered hands in an attempt to remove the yellow paint from her cheek.

The more she touched her face, the worse it became, and the more uncontrollable laughter Michaela emitted as she watched the mess unfolding.

"Mommy, get it off!" she cried in frustration, flailing her fists in the air and squeezing her eyes shut tight.

The second Hannah became aggravated almost to tears, she immediately stopped laughing, knowing her daughter was no longer amused by this dilemma.

"Shh sweetie, calm down," she soothed crossing the kitchen and returning with a wet towel.

"Look at me," she instructed, to which a tearful Hannah readily complied.

"There it's gone now," Michaela assured her as she gently tossed the towel onto the table.

"You okay now?" she asked with a loving smile.

"Uh huh," Hannah returned as she began to create another shining sun in the corner of the page.

"How are the two most beautiful girls in the world?" he called from the kitchen doorway.

"Daddy!" Hannah shouted jumping up from her chair and running full speed towards her father.

"Whoa! Hannah stop!" he commanded when she was within inches of embracing him with her paint-stained hands.

She immediately stopped dead in her tracks, looking up at him in question.

"Wash your hands first princess," he requested motioning towards the tiny step stool by the kitchen sink.

"K Daddy," she replied enthusiastically as she bounded over towards the sink.

He followed her knowing if he didn't turn the facet on for her, it too would be covered in yellow paint.

"So, how was your day sweetheart?" he questioned as he watched Michaela remove the two paintings from the table and place them gently on the metal rack.

"Great actually. Hannah and I had a terrific time together," she said flashing him a brilliant smile.

That smile hopelessly lured him directly to her. He simply couldn't resist her when that total happiness flashed across her face. He quickly arrived at her side, placing his hands gently onto her shoulders.

"God, I love you," he whispered in her ear, as he gently pulled her golden brown hair back from her face.

She turned around gently to face him directly, being extremely careful not to touch him with her paint covered fingers. She grinned back at him, biting down on her bottom lip slightly, as her eyes flamed with an intense love for him.

As he leaned in closer and closer, planning to place a kiss onto her sweet lips, she quickly cautioned, "I wouldn't do that if I were you," as she moved back slightly maintaining the distance between them.

"And now why is that?" he asked playfully, before glancing over his shoulder quickly to make sure Hannah was still all right.

"My hands are covered in paint, remember?"

"Oh, I remember. That's not goin' ta stop me from kissin' ya though," he said with a sensual smile before once again closing the distance between his face and hers.

"Just don't touch me with your _hands_," he whispered as his lips were within mere inches of her face.

"Easier said then done," she returned.

The second the words left her mouth, he planted an ardent kiss across her lips, adding more fuel to the flames between them by the second. As she quickly felt herself spiraling out of control, lost in those feeling of passionate abandon that only he could illicit, she had to caution herself each and every passing second to keep her hands from rising of their own accord.

She regretfully pulled back saying softly, "This is too hard…"

"What's too hard?" he asked winking at her playfully.

"I told you I couldn't keep my hands to myself…" she explained staring at him with a slight blush.

"You are so gorgeous. Every time I look into your eyes I'm hopelessly lost in their sparkling beauty… It just makes me want ya even more," he returned as he ran his hands tenderly up and down her arms.

"I'll be right back. Hold that thought," she said before glancing over to see Hannah tossing a few paper towels in the trash and scampering over towards them.

As he scooped a giggling Hannah into his arms, she headed for the bathroom.

"How's my sweet girl?" he asked before placing a kiss on her cheek.

"Great!" she exclaimed wrapping her arms around his neck. "I missed you Daddy," she said sincerely as she buried her head in his neck.

"I missed you too, sweetie," he responded running his fingers through her blond ponytail.

Picking her head up gently, and looking into his eyes she questioned, "Where did Mommy go?"

"She went ta wash her hands… She'll be right back," he explained.

In that instant, he heard Michaela call his name in almost a panic. Hearing that tone in her voice sped up his heart rate on the spot. Setting Hannah down gently, he told her to stay put and explained that he would be right back. Taking off at lightening speed he prayed that nothing was seriously wrong.

"What's wrong?" he questioned when he was a few feet from the doorway.

"Nothing's wrong really… My water just broke…" she answered calmly.

He couldn't believe she sounded so composed after announcing something like that. His mind sprinted into overdrive trying to come up with a gameplan as quickly as possible. It wasn't that this was unexpected by any means, but he had thought they still had more time.

"Holy cow! I thought we had another week…" he exclaimed in a completely agitated tone.

"Apparently not," she said with a laugh as she glanced at the look of total alarm on his face. "I guess your daughter is ready to be born now…"

"_Now_?" he uttered still in complete shock.

"Yes, _now_," she said shaking her head slightly. "Snap out of it," she commanded snapping her fingers together in front of his face.

"Go get Hannah. We'll call my parents on the way over, and tell them to meet us there. One of them will be able to take care of Hannah," she explained knowing he was still lost in a state of total surprise.

"Yeah…Okay," he responded softly, shaking his head somewhat in an attempt to pull himself out of the spell he seemed to be under.

Even though she knew they had both been rather shocked by this turn of events, she couldn't shake that feeling of excitement deep inside. It wouldn't be long before her daughter would enter their lives … It had seemed like she had waited so much longer then a mere nine months. After all it had taken over a year just to conceive her. This had been something they had both wanted for so long… A day they had anticipated for almost two years now. And this time she knew exactly what was in front of her. Though, it was terrifying in some respects, she knew what it felt like to hold her daughter in her arms for the first time. It was the most wonderful feeling in the world. In a matter of hours she would finally be holding her daughter, Katie Sully, in a tiny pink blanket.

* * *

**January 13****th****, 2018**

With her eyes so deeply focused on the precious images before her, and her mind a thousand miles away, she didn't hear him come up behind her.

Placing his hands gently onto her shoulders he softly whispered, "What are you lookin' at?"

"Katie's baby-book…" she returned softly, as she turned the page gently.

He quickly came around the side of the couch, taking a seat beside her and wrapping her tightly in his arms.

"Why do ya look at these albums when they just bring tears?" he questioned gently.

"They're not sad tears…" she answered in a voice barely audible.

He merely threw her a questioning look raising one eyebrow ever so slightly.

"Okay, they're a mix of happy and sad…" she admitted, knowing he had seen the truth all along.

"Ya look a million miles away…"What's really goin' on in that head of yours?" he asked as he ran his fingers softly through her hair.

"I was just thinking about the day Katie was born…" she replied wistfully.

"That was such an amazin' day," he returned as she lay her head down on his chest.

"You were so funny, though," she stated with a small smile.

"What do ya mean funny?"

"It was just so cute how panicked you were when I told you my water broke. The only time I ever saw you look that freaked out was the very first time I said those same words…" she explained with a gentle laugh.

"I was just a little caught off guard that's all…" he replied sheepishly.

"Okay," she responded with a giggle. "I still think about how hard that would have been if you _hadn't _been home… I mean you had almost literally just walked in the door…"

"Geez, yeah! Gettin' Hannah in that carseat would have been a challenge…"

"Oh, God yes! I will always be thankful you were there," she answered thoughtfully.

After a few moments of silence between them, he could tell something was bothering her. He wanted to question her, but at the same time he was curious to see if she would volunteer it on her own.

"Sully…" she began softly.

"Yeah?" he replied compassionately.

"I just keep thinking about how different I felt then… I was so happy and excited… a little scared, but mostly just thrilled. I just wish I felt that way right now…" she stammered. "I guess I'm just really anxious and scared about tomorrow…" she relented, swallowing hard through the lump in her throat.

"I know…" he whispered as he guided her head down back down to rest against his chest. "I'm scared too…"

"Really?"

"Yeah…" he admitted softly.

"Why are you scared?" she ventured more comfortable talking about his feelings at the moment.

"Well I know that nothing is goin' ta happen ta you, but still… knowin' that you are havin' a form of surgery tomorrow is a very scary thought…"

"You're not going to loose me…" she returned as her thumb gently caressed his left hand.

"I know you're right… But if I did…" he began his voice cracking on the last few words.

"You won't. I promise I won't leave you," she returned so sincerely that he truly believed her with all of his heart.

He knew logically that she couldn't really make a promise like that. But the way she spoke those words… It was almost as if she _knew _it was no where near her time to go… Almost as if an angel was speaking directly through her…

He simply nodded in response, and though she couldn't see his gesture, she could feel his head shift gently. As he tightened his grip on her slightly, she knew he had really heard her.

"What are _you _scared of sweetheart?" he probed hoping she would admit what was in her heart.

"I guess I'm just worried about finally finding out what _exactly_ is wrong with him… I just hope that he won't even need surgery… I know that's too much to hope for, but I truly can't help it. It's beyond devastating to know that our son will be operated on hours after he's born…" she answered through tears.

"Yeah, it really is…" he agreed in understanding.

"I just can't get over the fact that my baby boy will be in the NICU… Right now he's safe and secure, but in a matter of hours he won't be… I guess I just wish I could keep him safe, forever…"

"I know…" he whispered softly in her ear as he rocked her gently in his arms. "Though no matter what happens tomorrow, no matter how he is born, we will finally be able to hold him in our arms…." he whispered in reassurance.

He wished with all his heart that he had other words of encouragement for her. He wanted to be able to tell her that everything would be fine, but he knew he couldn't truthfully say that. They honestly still had no idea the extent of what they would be facing. He couldn't promise her that their son wouldn't require surgery, or that she could keep him safe inside of her forever. However, he could hold her close in his arms, helping her feel as secure as possible.

"I love you," she returned as she placed her hand gently over his heart.

"I love you too," he whispered before closing the album in her lap and setting it aside.

Then, wrapping them both in a blanket from the couch, he knew the only way she would be able to sleep at all would be in his arms. So, as he held her close, feeling her tears seeping through his t-shirt, he prayed with his whole heart that everything tomorrow would turn out all right. That his son and wife would make it through surgery, and one day soon be in his arms just like they were this very moment.


	26. Chapter 26

**Ch.26**

**January 14****th****, 2018**

She swallowed hard through the lump in her throat, as they walked hand in hand across the parking lot. Fixing her gaze on the entrance ahead, she took a deep breath vowing to remain at least somewhat composed. She knew she shouldn't be this terrified, but she couldn't ignore the pulsing feeling of dread inside of her. Shutting her eyes for a mere second, she prayed for the inner strength to make it through the day in one piece.

As they walked through the hospital's sliding glass doors, she turned to face him trying to understand the reason behind his request to arrive at the hospital so early. Looking up into his eyes, she was met with the same quiet sorrow that was in her heart. After months and months of heartache, denial, dread, and angst they still were nowhere near ready to face what the day would bring. Softly, gripping her left hand, he gave it a slight tug as he took a step down the corridor ahead.

"I want ta take you somewhere…" he said softly as he lead her down the main hallway.

She gave a slight nod back, knowing there was nothing really left to say. If he wanted her to come with him that was all he needed to express. She would follow him anywhere, for any reason, just because he asked. It was as simple as that.

As they both stepped into the small dimly lit chapel, he led her directly towards the very front. She followed his lead sitting beside him in the very first pew. Taking both her hands gently into his, he looked deeply into her eyes as the silence rang through both their ears. With only silence passing between them, they could both feel the inner emotions of the other, their hearts connected on the most intimate level imaginable. After a few moments, he finally opened his mouth to explain to her exactly what they were doing in this tiny hospital chapel.

"Michaela… " he began taking a deep breath as he watched the flames from a nearby candle dance in her eyes.

"Almost eight years ago, I used ta come to this chapel every day. I begged, pleaded, wished, hoped, and prayed for a miracle. Then, when I ran out of time and finally had to make a decision about your care once and for all, I came back ta this very chapel one last time…." he began as his voice cracked slightly.

She could see the torment in his eyes, and as much as she wanted to tell him he didn't have to recount this painful memory, she knew he truly needed to tell her.

"I begged God ta save you… I pleaded with Him to send ya back to me… I cried ta Him with everything I had inside. I told Him how much I loved you and how much you meant ta me. I prayed with everything inside of my soul that He wouldn't take you…" he explained as tears of deep sorrow spilled from his eyes.

She pulled her hand away from his gently, reaching up to wipe away his tears as she flashed him a small smile, encouraging him to continue on.

"I completely turned it over to Him… I believed with the upmost faith that He had the power to save you… He didn't let me down Michaela. He sent ya back to me, and I will never _ever_ forget that. Today I brought ya here, because after months and months of agony and despair we will finally have our answer about the true state of our son's health. However, it's not too late to beg for God's help one last time. We need to turn it over to Him completely… Believe that He can truly help our son… The way He saved you years ago…" he finished softly.

"You're right…" she answered softly.

Then, as she folded her hands together and shut her eyes gently, she prayed with everything inside of her for a positive outcome to the day's events. But rather than simply begging God to help her son and protect them both throughout surgery, she thanked Him for the man sitting beside her. She knew that no matter what happened today, he would always be by her side. No matter how their son was born, Sully would forever love her with everything in his heart, and she knew that was something she should never take for granted.

God blessed her with a love that most people only dreamed of finding with another. Through all the months of terrible pain, Sully had been there right beside her to wipe away her tears. In the midst of devastating heartache, he had truly succeeded in helping her endure such pain in a way no one else could. His love for her could bring her back from the deepest and darkest sea of sadness. No matter what happened today, Sully would be there to comfort her. With his love and support there was nothing she couldn't endure.

When he was young, someone once told him that Heaven would be a place in which the love you felt for the most special person in your life, you would feel for all others. That's the way he thought about the love that Michaela and he shared; it was a tiny piece of Heaven. Though their wonderful life had been clouded by darkness the last several months, he had no doubt the light would shine once again. Though today could spiral them both into a world clouded with more darkness then imaginable, as long as he had his sweetheart he knew he could guide them back to a world full of light. So, as he asked God one last time to spare his son any hardship or pain, he also asked God to ensure his wife's safety.

Then, he opened his eyes slowly, and reached forward gently, holding his palm upward hoping she would take hold of it. Feeling his eyes on her, she turned to the right slightly, and immediately pried her own locked fingers apart, and joined her hand with his. Feeling her warm hand gripped tightly in his own, her heart and soul joined to him, he reached into his back pocket and removed a tiny slip of paper.

Bringing the tiny slip forward, ensuring that she too could read the tiny handwriting scrawled across it he began, "_Circle me Lord, Keep protection near, And danger afar…"_

"_Circle me Lord, Keep hope within, Keep doubt without…" _she quickly chimed in reciting the words on the small piece of parchment.

"_Circle me Lord, Keep light near, And darkness afar," _he recited as a small tear trickled down his cheek.

"_Circle me Lord, Keep peace within. __May You be a bright flame before me and the guiding star above me. May You be a smooth path below me and a loving guide behind me, today, tonight, and forever. Amen," _both finished before turning their eyes from the paper back to one another.

"That was beautiful…Where did you find that?" she asked softly.

"My mother used ta say it all the time…" he returned before wrapping his arms gently around his wife.

Placing a light kiss on her forehead, he then whispered in her ear, "Don't worry sweetheart. He already has two angels watchin' over him always. They'll take care of him when we can't…"

She flashed him a slightly puzzled look, trying to determine if he was speaking abstractly or if there was more meaning behind his statement.

"My mother and father…" he clarified softly.

Seeing the tears stream from his eyes when he uttered those few words, tore at her heart immensely as she imagined the inexplicable pain of being unable to share your child's birth with your parents.

"With them by his side, we have nothing to worry about…" she said gently before standing and leading the way out of the peaceful chapel and back into the chaos of the hospital corridors.

* * *

She stared into his eyes that were so blue they literally took her breath away. Blinking her heavy, tear-laden eyes quickly, she could feel the hot tears stream down her face in a flood of released emotion. His tear-stained cheeks only served to fuel the fire, as more tears pooled behind her eyelids.

"Oh God, I can't believe it's true…" she whispered in shock.

"I know…" he returned gripping her hand slightly tighter.

He watched as she tried unsuccessfully to regain her composure, wiping her cheeks with the back of her free hand.

"It's okay ta cry. Just let it out," he said reassuringly. Standing from the small chair at her bedside, he gently sat down on the edge of the bed, pulling her into his arms. As he cradled her close, he felt the intense tears falling from his eyelids once again. Every time he seemed to get a hold of the deep emotions within, he would feel himself crash again as he looked into her eyes.

"Shhh," he uttered softly running his fingers through her hair. "Everything's alright," he returned knowing she needed to hear that repeatedly. He couldn't count the number of times he had spoke those same two words in the last hour. She would simply nod in return, still too overcome by tears to say or do anything more.

"I feel like I'm in a dream…" she muttered so softly he barely heard her.

"It just doesn't seem real…" he managed to stutter still shell-shocked himself.

"I just can't shake the feeling that they are going to come in here any minute and tell us it's not true…"

"I know, but it really is true. I promise you that it's true…"

"It simply can't be so… Four percent Sully…" Michaela said with a small gasp. "Four percent…" she reiterated again.

"I know… We are so very blessed…"

"_He_ was blessed…"

"Yes, he was," he whispered in agreement.

"I can't shake this terrible feeling …That something horrible is going to happen to him..." she admitted before biting down hard on the nail of her index finger.

"Nothing is goin' ta happen to him. He's goin' ta be fine sweetheart. Our little boy is goin' ta be just fine."

"Oh, God I hope your right… I wish I knew how much longer it was going to take…" she stammered taking in another deep breath.

"I _know _I'm right. You've got some of the best pediatric surgeons and neurosurgeons in the country in there with him. And when we do finally take him home from the hospital, he will truly be fine. I never thought I would get ta say that aloud… _Never_," he replied marveling at the words he was able to utter truthfully from his lips.

"Oh, Sully I still can't believe this… Surgery will truly save his life… Our son is going to be able to _walk_," she cried in a rush of emotion.

As she finally said those words aloud, she felt her heart soar higher than she had ever thought possible. Their son wouldn't be plagued with a life of painful surgeries and therapy…He wouldn't be different from every other little boy…He would be able to play baseball with his father…Climb a tree with his sisters…All these deep worries and fears of months past melted away… He would be a normal, healthy little boy in every sense of the word, very very soon. All they had to do now was simply wait for him to make it through surgery.

She had imagined the very worse, but somehow as some would say fate smiled upon them. However, she didn't believe that it had anything to do with fate or luck; it was God. God had once again answered their prayers. This time He had answered the deepest prayer _she_ had ever sent forth. Yes, he still needed surgery, but this surgery wouldn't merely _improve_ his condition it would _eliminate_ it entirely.

She hadn't been able to stop crying since they told her the wonderful news. The minute they had both heard the words _spina bifida meningocele_, she had looked directly into her husband's eyes and seen the same sheer joy reflected that she felt inside. It was a joy that was unmatched by anything she had ever felt or experienced before. This heavy weight that had been crushing her heart for so many long months had been taken away in an instant. That feeling of slow suffocation she had simply learned to live with, had been take away by three simple words.

The second he heard those three words fill the room, he had expelled a deep breath he hadn't even realized he was holding. Quickly turning his eyes back to her multi-colored ones, he was met with the same look of utter relief he felt pouring out from his heart. He would never forget that sheer flood of emotion that had enveloped him fully. He had only felt that way once before, the day she had reached out to him from the depths of unconsciousness. It was truly a feeling like no other, one in which the very deepest desire of his heart was fulfilled in a way in which he had never thought possible.

Neither had needed to say anything aloud, as their eyes alone communicated the deep emotion within each of their hearts. True their son wasn't entirely healthy, but both knew after surgery he would be. They had truly never imagined he would end up with the rarest form of the disorder.

Deep down inside she had secretly hoped he would be born with the mildest form in which no action was necessary. However, she had never contemplated the possibility that he could have the rarest form in which surgery alone was the 'magical' solution.

Every time the words the doctors spoke only hours before ran through her head, she could feel the relief flood through her veins over and over again. The only thing truly holding her back from feeling fully relieved and ecstatic was this surgery. There was still a tiny voice in the back of her head that cautioned her against becoming too excited considering her _was_ still in surgery. At this point, it didn't make much difference to her if they succeeded in correcting the defect completely, only that he lived. She knew the odds were more than in her favor, but it was still terrifying.

"Do you really think your mother and father are in there with him right now?" she wondered aloud trying to convince herself to believe he would be fine.

"Yes, I really do. They're watchin' over him right this very minute. He's goin' ta be completely fine, and before you know it you'll be holdin' him in your arms," he explained as a tear slide down his cheek.

"Oh, God…I just hope he's okay," she said spilling forth the deep anxiety inside.

As soon as her words filled the room, Joseph appeared in the doorway. Sully's eyes made contact with his figure first, and he motioned for Sully to join him in the hall before disappearing from sight. His stomach dropped to his feet as in an instant the overwhelming panic and nausea flooded over him. _Oh God…He must have bad news…If he had found out something positive he would be in here right now sharing it with both Michaela and me…But he's not…He wants to talk to me alone, and that can only mean one thing… _

"What's wrong?" she quickly asked her eyes growing large upon seeing the look of distress on his face that he clearly wasn't hiding well at all.

"Nothing," he muttered softly.

"Don't lie to me. I can see it in your eyes. What's going on?" she asked again her own internal alarm growing larger by the second.

"Nothin' is wrong. Everything is fine. I'm goin' ta go check on Becca and your ma. I promise I'll be right back," he replied trying to sound confident.

"I don't believe you…" she returned trying not to let his unrest push her into total hysterics.

"Sweetheart, I don't know anything more than you do. I just had a small moment of fear take over, but everything is goin' ta be alright. I'll be back in a few minutes."

"Please don't leave me…" she whispered softly reaching out for his hand as he stood from the bed.

Taking it into his hand, he placed a gentle kiss in the very center before softly releasing it from his grasp.

"I'll be right back I promise. And I'll see if I can track down that intern and find out if they have an update for us," he said with a small smile before departing from the room.

Her heart plunged downward the second he left. There wasn't a doubt in her mind that he was hiding something from her. Maybe he was simply hiding his own fear in order to suppress hers, however she had a feeling it was something more. Shutting her eyes tightly, she clenched her teeth forcefully. Willing herself to simply keep breathing, she knew the next few hours would creep by at an agonizingly slow pace. Folding her hands together once again, she begged God to protect her sweet little boy. Seeing his tiny face behind her closed eyelids with his vibrant blue eyes and dark golden hair, she simply tried to imagine him wrapped in a tiny, blue blanket safe in her arms in the room she and his father had created with the uttermost love for him, wishing with everything inside of her that this thought wasn't merely just a dream but a vision of her future, _his_ future.

* * *

He swallowed hard before taking a deep breath and willing himself to pick up one foot and then the other to make the trek down the hall towards Joseph. Although Joseph's figure was only a few feet away, it seemed as if he had walked miles and miles to arrive at his destination, his feet feeling like blocks of lead with every step he took. Exhaling deeply as he arrived at his father-in-law's side, he quickly turned his eyes from the speckled tile below his feet to the man before him.

"What's goin' on?" he questioned as soon as his eyes landed on the dark brown pools in front of him.

"Well that's the problem I have no idea," Joseph answered in frustration.

"So, ya don't have bad news for me then?" Sully returned holding his breath for the answer.

"No, son I still don't know anything either," he responded placing his hand gently onto Sully's shoulder.

"Geez, you scared the daylights out of me, what with callin' me outside away from Michaela…"

"Oh, I'm so sorry," Joseph returned sincerely. "I didn't even think about that causing you to panic. I just didn't want to tell her that I didn't have any news, because she would assume that something terrible has happened, and that's why they won't give me an update."

"Why won't they give us an update? That's startin' ta scare me too."

"Well honestly I think it has to do with him being the son of Dr. Quinn. Several members of the hospital staff have been throwing a million questions out regarding his condition and the progress of the surgery. I think the surgeons have decided not to report anything to anyone until they have more definitive progress. A surgery like this can take hours upon hours and unfortunately, we merely have to sit and wait patiently."

"That's so dang aggravatin'…Especially with your daughter in there rattlin' off all the things that could be goin' wrong… I know she's just tryin' ta process this, but its only addin' to my own worries," he confessed.

"I know," Joseph returned empathetically. "You just have to remember how rare it truly is for anything to go seriously wrong with this procedure."

"He's going to be just fine Sully. Your little boy will make it through this surgery. I know he will," he responded with confidence.

"But then we still won't be out of the woods yet… They said 80 to 90 percent of babies go on to develop hydrocephalus, and then he'll need another surgery to place a shunt in his brain…"

"I know as a physician you wouldn't think I would be one to say this, but when are you going to stop viewing your son as a statistic? Clearly, he is very much like his mother in that he has defied those clearly outlined proposed outcomes. He was born with a form of spina bifida in which only four percent of babies are born with. If that doesn't defy the likely outcome, I don't know what does. Have faith that he will pull through this surgery just fine without any complications. If anyone can defy the odds like that he can," Joseph returned.

"Yeah," Sully answered softly his mind beginning to really acknowledge the truth in his father-in-law's words.

"I guess I'll go find Becca and Elizabeth…" he stammered unsure really what action to take but feeling he needed to do _something._

"Perfect. Last I heard they were headed for the cafeteria. I'll go in and sit with her for a while," he suggested motioning towards the door to Michaela's room.

Sully merely nodded knowing that support from her father may be exactly what she needed at the moment. He had truly tried everything in his power to provide his unwavering support and comfort, but he knew there was a good chance the little girl inside of her would greatly benefit from crying on her father's shoulder.

"Okay, and I'll call Edmund and see how the girls are doin'. I'll come back by in about twenty minutes," he said in question, looking for Joseph's confirmation.

"All right," Joseph said with an encouraging nod. "Hang in there, Sully. In a few hours this will all be behind you."

"Thanks," he murmured before turning to walk towards the elevator at the end of the hall.

* * *

"Hey sweetheart," he said softly as he stepped into the room.

He felt his expression fall to the floor along with his heart, as his eyes landed on his youngest daughter. His strong, vibrant, and tenacious little sweetheart looked so fragile and weak. He knew some of that was the physical effects of the surgery, but more than that he knew it was total emotional exhaustion. After months and months of worry it had only escalated in the last hour, reaching its horribly high peak the second they had taken him into surgery.

He tried to imagine what kind of pain and anxiety such a situation would bring about, but he knew he would never truly understand. He would never know what it was like to carry a child inside of you for nine months caring for that child fully and completely, only to be faced with such utter helplessness hours after his birth. Michaela couldn't do anything to protect her son and keep him safe this very moment, and that sting had to be almost unbearable.

She flashed a small smile in his direction, but a tiny tear trickled down her face that very instant deeply betraying her true emotions. Wrapping his arms around her, he simply held his little girl in his arms for several minutes, both enjoying the comfort of being surrounded by one another's warm hold.

"I'm just so worried about him…" she admitted tearfully.

"Of course you are…Neither one of you can feel the full relief of his diagnosis knowing he has yet to make it through surgery."

"Exactly…" she responded softly still shaking with anxiety. "I just want to hold him in my arms so badly…. Know that he's safe…"

"Soon you'll be able to…Very very soon…" he spoke with encouragement running his hand gently across her pale features.

His soothing words brought her comfort much the way they had when she was a child, though that dark voice inside her head still screamed words of fear and doubt. She felt a sharp chill run down her spine as those thoughts rang through her ears to the point in which she could no longer ignore them. The uneasiness she felt was so powerful she thought it would soon strangle her. In an instant she realized she couldn't contain these thoughts and fears a moment longer. After all wasn't that the mistake she had made months ago? Hadn't she learned that it was better to rely on those she loved for the strength she needed rather than struggle along through a forest of fears alone?

"What if something happens to him? What if… What if… if…" she stammered her voice shaking uncontrollably at the thought she was trying to voice.

"If he doesn't survive?" Joseph supplied knowing the words were too terrible for her to say herself.

"Yes…" she confirmed her eyes desperately pleading with him to _do_ something, anything to take her fear away.

"You don't have to worry about that. He will survive," he answered with the uttermost confidence.

"How do you know that?" she questioned wanting to believe it with the same confidence her father seemed to.

"Because _you_ are his mother. I have never met anyone with more fight in them than you have my dear. There is no doubt in my mind that he inherited that same strength. Both Hannah and Katie have it…He has it too. There's no question about it," he explained.

She only offered a small nod in return, as she leaned further against his shoulder, relishing in the comfort his words and arms could bring. His reassuring words filled her with hope; hope that she needed to survive the next few hours. He was right her son was a fighter… He would make it through this just fine. She had to believe that was true…She simply had to because the alternative was far too difficult to even imagine.

* * *

She looked down at the tiny, beautiful baby boy lying peacefully before her. Biting down on her trembling bottom lip, she clamped her eyes shut and exhaled so deeply she felt every ounce of air leave her lungs. Breathing in fully, the oxygen mixed with complete relief, filling her body. The relief was so all consuming she was simply lost in the total rush of euphoria. His warm, strong hand claiming her right shoulder brought her back down to earth once again.

She quickly snapped her eyes open, feeling the tears flowing freely down her face. Though she had felt their presence so many times she had lost count over the last several months, this time was so very _different. _This time they were a release… A release of all that pent up worry and distress she had carried for so long… Especially the last five hours. The fear and anxiety had been at an all time high, as she struggled to remain confident and hopeful that she would soon be in this very spot looking down at her _healthy_ son. Healthy… He was healthy…

Glancing down at the stark, white tape holding the endotracheal tube passing through his windpipe in place, the tiny IV in his arm, and the countless wires attached to her small baby boy, she normally would have broken down utterly hysterical. Although it may not look that way to others, she knew he was all right. It was the first time she felt that surge of parental satisfaction knowing that all three of her children were fine. All three where safe, happy, loved, and _healthy_.

Wrapping his arms gently around her shoulders, he took in a deep breath as he could feel all the tension, apprehension, and fear finally leave her tiny frame for the first time in almost five months. Feeling her physical relief, only made him realize how much this had weighted him down for the last five months.

Five months he had carried around the heavy weight of what was to come. He had dreaded the day he would be forced to face the fact that although hundreds of parents came into this hospital and left carrying a healthy child in their arms, he would not be amongst them. Now that heavy burden had been completely extinguished in a matter of hours, as if someone had merely blown out the flame of a candle. That flame had been burning brighter and more intensely as this day had approached, but now it was gone.

Gone were the days of wishing for something that was near impossible. They had been replaced with days of gratitude beyond comprehension, a feeling he was all too familiar with.

Watching his son lying on his stomach, sleeping so soundly before him was a feeling like no other. Though he wasn't surprised his baby boy had Michaela's golden brown hair, his blue eyes, and her long, dark lashes, he still couldn't believe he could describe his son as _healthy_. It was a descriptive word most parents took for granted, never realizing the true significance of that declaration.

Pulling back from her softly, he grabbed the tiny blue fleece blanket with satin trim from the chair to his left. He waited for her to turn and meet his gaze, but he soon realized she couldn't tear her eyes away from their son. Approaching her side again, he gently placed the upper right corner of the blanket in her delicate hand. Gripping it tightly, she snapped back into the moment, turning her eyes up to meet the dazzling baby blue ones of her husband.

As she smiled with a joy he had never seen, he was entirely taken aback by the comfort that look brought his soul. Grinning with a newfound elation, he gestured towards the tiny enclosed bed less than a foot away.

She followed his lead, and as they both placed the blanket gently over their son, neither one had words for the cascade of total ecstasy that ran through every fiber of their being. Reaching forward he softly grabbed his son's tiny right hand in his own, marveling at how wonderful it felt to feel the warmth of his son's life in his palm.

He watched, as she seemed completely transfixed by the sight before her. She had looked on as he closed the distant between himself and his son, however she had made no move whatsoever to join him. Flashing her a small smile he said softly, "Take his hand," as he gestured towards his little boy's delicate left hand.

She merely shook her head softly, wrapping her arms tightly around herself. After placing a gentle kiss on the back of his son's hand, he released it from his grasp, knowing Michaela needed a push.

Quickly venturing the short distant to her side, he wrapped his arms around her lovingly as he whispered softly, "Sweetheart, what's wrong?"

"I don't…I'm just scared…" she stammered feeling her lashes flicker, releasing more tears.

"Scared?" he questioned gently, wondering if she was worried her touch would bring her son pain rather than comfort.

He knew it wasn't easy by any means to see your child looking so completely vulnerable, but he also knew that both his wife and his son needed to feel the other's touch.

"I'm scared that I'm going to wake up any minute and find out this was all a dream… I'm terrified that this isn't real," she mumbled allowing herself to collapse in his arms, the sheer exhaustion and stress of the day and her own surgery crushing down on her.

"Shhh," he soothed as he ran his hand up and down her back gently. "I swear to you this is real. Everything is real," he returned unsure what else to say to really convince her.

Then, he knew what might help, although it would probably illicit a scowl in the process. Moving his left hand from her back to her upper arm, he gathered her flesh between her thumb and index finger and gave it a squeeze.

"Oww!" she cried flinching in his arms as she furrowed her brow in question. "Why did you do that?" she asked tears still shining brightly.

"I pinched ya," he remarked with a grin.

"I know, but why?"

" 'Cause I wanted you ta see that you're still sittin' here. This is very _real_," he emphasized with a smile.

Her face relaxed immediately as she shook her head slightly, amazed that he could make a joke in such a serious moment.

"Come on sweetheart. Hold your son's hand," he requested, knowing she was sitting close enough to his side to reach out and touch him as soon as she was ready.

Still maintaining his grasp on her left hand, he moved towards the head of the tiny bed and took his son's little right hand into his left. Smiling in his direction, she picked up her son's fragile left hand feeling his warmth flow through her fingers.

As they stood over their precious little boy with hands linked together, she whispered, "Oh, thank you God. Thank you so very much."

Standing up somewhat, she placed a soft kiss onto the tiny infant's head. Then, sitting back down wincing slightly, she clamped her eyes shut. He knew exactly what was circling through her head as her thumb softly massaged her son's tiny pink hand. They were the same thoughts swirling through his mind as a tear trickled down his cheek.

Seeing her lips move as she mouthed the words of deep gratitude he followed suit, knowing they would spend the rest of their lives thanking God for their son's health. When he had vowed all those years ago to remain eternally grateful that God had saved his wife, there wasn't a doubt in his mind that he would maintain those feelings for the rest of his life. In this very moment, he felt that same rush of thankfulness. He knew he had been dealt a second miracle. His baby boy was _healthy_, and his wife was alive. God had answered his deepest prayer not once but twice, and he planned to spend the rest of his days thanking Him with all of his heart and soul.


	27. Chapter 27

**Ch.27**

**_Author's Note: Sorry for the delay in posting this. Things have been super busy, and I didn't want the quality of this chapter to slack at all so I felt delaying the release a little was worth it. :) It's the longest one yet, so you will have a little reward for the wait. Thank you to everyone who has sent comments my way. :) You guys are truly wonderful for the time you spend sharing your thoughts with me. Each and every one is very appreciated. _**

**January 15, 2018 **

"Katie, sweetheart you've gotta wash them again," he requested knowing he was bound to have a very unhappy three-year-old on his hands.

"I already did," she responded not moving from her position by the door.

"I know ya already washed them once, but ya have ta do it like Hannah. See how she's using that brush and washin' all the way up to her elbows?" he explained motioning towards the sweet blond smiling back at him.

"You said to wash my _hands _not my _arms!_" she returned throwing her tiny hands up in exasperation, the stress the family was under obviously taking its toll on her.

Taking a deep breath, he knew what he had to do, although that would delay things even further. Though he knew they would make him wash his arms, as Katie would say, again, he bent down on his knees pulling his youngest daughter into his arms.

Looking straight into those beautiful eyes his wife had bestowed on his sweet little girl he said, "Honey, I know ya don't want to wash them again. And I know that brush hurts," he explained in sympathy as he glanced down at his own hands already red and raw after only a few visits. "But princess I really want you ta meet your little brother, and the nurses aren't goin' ta let ya see him unless your hands and arms are really really clean."

"Okay, but can I ask you a question?" she returned.

" 'Course ya can."

"Why do we have to be _so_ clean?" she wondered scrunching her face in confusion.

Shaking his head slightly as a small chuckle escaped his lips he returned, "Well there are a lot of sick babies inside of this room. If you, or Hannah, or I have any germs at all on our hands the babies can catch them. Then, the doctors will have a real hard time getting them well, so that they can go home with their mommies and daddies and sisters."

Before Katie had a chance to respond Hannah had approached her father's side, quickly moving her eyes from his figure, to the door ahead, and then back.

"Daddy, can we please go see Mommy and our brother now?" she asked gently.

"Yeah, in a few minutes here sweetie. Please stand there and don't touch anythin'. If ya do you'll have to wash your hands all over again. Don't put them in your mouth, or your ears... Ya know what just hold them out in front of you and don't move them," he instructed hoping she would obey his request. This was far more exhausting then he had anticipated, and he was extremely grateful that he had told Michaela to simply meet them inside the NICU, rather than taking the girls to her room and walking over together.

"Sure Daddy," she answered with a nod, knowing from the look in his eyes he wasn't in the mood for protesting in any form.

Once Hannah willingly complied with his request, he took Katie by the hand leading her back over to the sink. Lifting her up gently, and placing her down onto the small ivory step-stool, he began to scrub her hands thoroughly, knowing she was obviously too young to grasp this concept of being beyond clean.

"Daddy, why is our brother in there with the sick babies? I thought you said he wasn't sick anymore?" Katie questioned in confusion as she surrendered her hands completely to her father's ministrations.

As Katie's words ran through his mind, he began to relive the incredibly difficult conversation he had with both of his little girls on the way to the hospital. On the drive home to pick them up, he had racked his brain for exactly what he could or should say to them. He had desperately wished that Michaela had been by his side this time, as he had already taken a turn at fielding such a difficult question solo only a few months ago. He _needed_ that other voice to back his when he was at a loss for words, as there was no doubt in his mind that his sweet, intelligent wife would have the perfect way of explaining this difficult situation.

However, neither of them had realized before he left that he had to prepare his daughters for the sight that would befall them. Leading them into a room to meet their brother who looked so very sick to the outside world would only serve to startle and alarm them both if they entered unprepared. So, he had simply explained to them that when their brother was born he was very ill. Then, leaving out the complex details, he had merely said that the doctors at the hospital were able to make him well once again, though he had many special machines in the hospital to give him medicine and keep him healthy.

"He's not sick anymore sweetie, but the doctors want ta make sure he stays that way, so they are havin' him stay here to keep an extra close eye on him and give him special medicine," he finally explained hoping that justification made sense to her.

She turned back slightly, flashing him a quick smile as she nodded her head in response. He breathed a small sigh of relief, glad that she seemed to comprehend his words. He swallowed hard knowing a moment he had been dreading was fast approaching. From the instant he had set foot in the NICU, he knew that when Katie, and Hannah especially, came to see their brother they would immediately comprehend the fact that this wasn't where healthy babies stayed… There was no doubt that his daughters were bound to struggle to understand that although their baby brother was connected to countless machines, he was actually the healthiest he had ever been…

Glancing over in Hannah's direction to make sure she still had not touched anything, he couldn't help but notice her downcast eyes and the look of silent sadness splayed across her face.

Before he had a chance to respond to what was before his eyes, Katie said suddenly, "I think that's probably good Daddy. Now do yours so we can go see Mommy. Hannah looks real sad… Mommy will know how to cheer her up."

"I think you're right…" he replied indicating she was correct on both accounts.

He began to scrub his hands yet again, as Katie jumped down from the tiny stool. The very second her feet hit the floor, he cautioned, "Katie, after ya dry your hands off, do _exactly _what Hannah is doin' with her hands. Don't touch anything!"

"Okay," she answered confidently before tossing a handful of paper towels in the trash, and bounding to Hannah's side.

"Don't cry Hannah…" Katie said softly looking up into her sister's tear-filled eyes.

Those words from Katie's lips seeped into his being so painfully it was as if he had been dipped into a lake full of ice-cold water. He had to say _something _to her. His overly insightful six and a half year old was broken apart, and he had a very good feeling it was over the fact that her brother was currently staying in a wing of the hospital reserved for only the sickest infants.

"Hannah, sweetheart please don't cry…" he said sincerely, knowing those words probably wouldn't be enough to stop her tears, but at a loss as to what other words to use.

Taking a deep breath and tossing the disposable brush and paper towels in the trash, he crouched down to Hannah's level making sure to keep his hands from touching anything.

"Hannah, look at me," he requested, seeing her eyes fixed on the floor. "Everything is fine. Like I told ya on the way here, your brother is just fine now; he's not sick anymore," he said with sincerity.

"You promise?" she questioned her blue eyes finally meeting his.

"I cross my heart and hope to die…"

"Stick a needle in your eye?"

"You bet! Come on let's go see your ma and your little baby brother," he said with a smile glad to see Hannah had calmed down.

"Yay!" Katie returned happily running towards the glass door she had been eager to go through for the last several minutes.

Flashing another reassuring smile in Hannah's direction, he followed behind her as she approached Katie's side. He watched her blond ponytail bounce back and forth as she sniffled loudly, trying to return to her normal, bubbly self. Taking a steadying breath, he knew without a doubt that Michaela would be able to squash any lingering doubts in his young daughter's mind.

Looking towards his peacefully sleeping son, Sully placed a hand gently on each of his daughter's shoulders and said softly, "Look there's your little brother," with a wide smile dancing across his face.

Katie glimpsed at her sleeping brother for a moment, before turning her gaze towards the corner of the room.

"Mommy!" Katie cried running into Michaela's outstretched arms.

"Oh, Katie I love you so much," she returned sweetly as she ran her fingers through her daughter's light brown hair.

Gently releasing her grasp on Katie, she opened her eyes and immediately spotted Hannah's blue ones staring at her with a sadness that was beyond her years.

"Oh, Hannah…" she replied softly as she felt the hot tears of heartache stream down her cheeks.

Biting down on her bottom lip to stop it from trembling, she ran into Michaela's arms seeking the comfort only her mother could provide.

"Sweetheart, what's wrong?" she questioned as she scooped Hannah into her arms, placing her gently onto her lap.

"Mommy, what's wrong with our brother? Why is he in here with all of the other sick babies? And why does he have all those wires and things attached to him? Daddy said he wasn't sick anymore, but he looks real sick to me…"

Glancing from Hannah's tear-filled gaze into the other set of deep, blue eyes in the room, she watched as he wrapped Katie in his arms, pleading with his eyes alone for her to answer this deeply complicated question.

"Well, honey the truth is when he was born he was sick. Your Daddy and I prayed to God that the doctors here at the hospital would be able to help him get well again. And sweetheart God answered our prayers. Your brother isn't sick at all. Not anymore…" she finished wiping her cheek softly.

"So he's really okay then?" she questioned needing to hear it again.

"Yes, sweetie. He's really okay. He's more than okay; he's wonderful," Michaela said with a grateful smile as she glanced towards her son.

"Do you want to hold his hand?" she asked. Though other big sisters could hold their little brothers, sadly she couldn't offer Hannah that same opportunity… _yet_. She, herself, still wasn't allowed to pick him up in her arms.

"Yeah," she returned with an eager nod feeding off the happiness radiating from Michaela.

Taking Katie's right hand into his left, and Hannah's hand into his other, he led them over to his son's bedside giving them both an encouraging nudge. Smiling back in Michaela's direction, he could swear his heart stopped at the loving look she flashed his way as she watched both Hannah and Katie grip one of their baby boy's hands.

He couldn't stop a tear from rolling down his cheek, as he watched both sets of eyes light up before him. In all honesty, he had wondered how Katie would handle no longer being the youngest in the family. He knew it was much too soon to get too excited over her reaction, but it was difficult not to as she seemed as enamored by the newest member of the family as he was.

"What are you going to name him Daddy?" Katie asked with a smile.

He couldn't help but laugh in response at the way she had phrased the question. She had made it sound as if he had merely bought a goldfish from the pet store that required a name to be bestowed upon it. Shaking his head slightly and turning his eyes back to the corner of the room, he was simply enchanted by the beautiful smile shimmering across Michaela's face. It was that smile she reserved for just genuine happiness; one he had not seen in a very long time.

"Well…" he stammered through laughter. "We don't really know yet…" he answered turning his eyes from Katie back to Michaela.

"Did ya have any more luck with that book while I was gone?" he wondered glancing towards the paperback book sitting beside the love of his life.

"Sadly, no. These books are just beyond aggravating… I don't just want to close my eyes and select the first name I point to… I want it to mean something…" she explained knowing she felt no closer to finding a perfect name for their little blessing.

"I think you should name him Ken," Katie ventured with a smile.

"Ken, huh?" Sully asked with a grin wondering where she came up with that name. "Why Ken?"

"Because it's a good name," she returned confidently as if this were common knowledge.

"And why is it a good name?" Sully teased.

" 'Cause that's the name of Barbie's boyfriend silly!" she exclaimed with an enormous smile.

Laugher immediately filled the room, as Michaela, Sully, and even Hannah found Katie's comment highly amusing, though Katie merely shrugged her shoulders clearly missing the humor.

"What about Jayden?" Hannah suggested glancing from Michaela, to Sully, and then back down to her tiny brother.

"Why Jayden?" Sully asked thinking it somewhat of an unusual name for his daughter to suggest out of the blue.

" 'Cause Hannah is in _love_ with him," Katie said with a giggle. "Hannah and Jayden sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" she sang flashing Hannah a challenging smile.

"That's not true! She doesn't know what she's talking about!" Hannah cried in outrage.

"Who's Jayden?" Sully returned quickly becoming concerned after hearing what Katie had said. He knew she was simply chastising her sister as he had done with his brother growing up, but the idea of his sweet little Hannah kissing any little _boy_ thoroughly disturbed him.

Michaela burst into giggles upon hearing Katie's words and seeing the look across Sully's face, as the color seemed to evaporate in a second. It was as if he was seeing his little girl ten years older leaving for the Prom on the arm of a teenage boy. She purposely hadn't mentioned Hannah's little crush that she was completely aware of knowing he wouldn't take it well. She had simply found it amusing when Jayden's mother had explained that he wanted Hannah to come over for a play date sometime as Hannah was all he seemed to be able to talk about. When she had mentioned this to Hannah, her daughter looked the spitting image of her mother as her face had turned bright red. She had promised not to say anything to anyone, but obviously _someone_ had told Katie.

"First comes love, then comes marriage…" Katie sang out over Hannah's protest and Michaela's laughter.

"Daddy, make her stop!" Hannah cried her emotions flooding to the surface in full force as she crossed her arms angrily over her chest.

"Alright, Katie that's enough. No more teasin' your sister like that, and Hannah she better have been just teasin'," he warned only half-joking. "No boy better be kissin' my little girl," he said with a smile, winking at Hannah.

"The only boy that can kiss me is you Daddy…Oh and I guess our brother can too, but that's it," she returned before running into his arms.

"Now that's what I like ta hear," he said with a smile as he planted a sweet kiss on his daughter's cheek.

"Mommy, is he ever going to wake up or does he just sleep all the time?" Katie questioned looking down at her brother sleeping soundly through all their noise.

He watched as her sparkling eyes lit up with joy only seconds before, flashed to a look of hidden distress as soon as Katie asked her innocent question. Knowing she probably wished she didn't have to answer that question, he quickly jumped in for her.

"Well honey he's still gettin' better after bein' so sick. It's like when you stay home from school and watch movies on the couch 'cause you're still too tired to work hard at school as your body is still gettin' over fightin' those germs."

"Okay," she said eager to accept this reasoning.

Turning his eyes back to the pair belonging to the other half of his soul, he was shocked to still see such sadness behind them. He had thought fielding Katie's question would help resolve some of that inner conflict, but he quickly realized it was far more complicated than that. Before he had a chance to attempt to rectify this situation, his phone began to chime. Clicking the circular button, and sliding the silver arrow to the right he answered, "Hey, Becca what's goin' on?"

Michaela anxiously listened in on his conversation, wishing she knew what they were discussing. Within a few seconds he added aloud, "Oh you're here already?"

She was immediately brought out of her intense focus on Sully's conversation, as Katie arrived at her side wrapping her arms around Michaela's left arm. Smiling down at her daughter's shining face, she patted her lap gently, encouraging Katie to climb up onto her. Wasting no time, she promptly situated herself in her mother's embrace, snuggling deep against her chest. Holding her daughter in her arms, she planted a kiss on top of her head. And as she cradled her close, she breathed in deeply smiling to herself as the scent of strawberry no-more-tears shampoo made her youngest daughter seem even sweeter if that were possible.

After placing his phone gently back into his pocket he explained, "Well that was Becca. She wanted to let us know that she's outside with the kids waitin' ta take Hannah and Katie to lunch."

"Yay! Aunt Rebecca is taking us to lunch?" Katie questioned.

"Yeah, sweetheart," he returned gently, his eyes still fixed on Michaela's confused gaze.

"What's wrong?" he wondered as she still remained silent.

"Why didn't she just come in here?" she replied very puzzled that her sister seemed to be avoiding joining them. She knew the NICU wasn't the happiest place in the world, but she never anticipated anyone being anything less than thrilled to visit their son.

"She can't honey," he returned simply, thinking she had merely forgotten the strict rules the hospital had in place.

"What?" she responded still not comprehending the situation fully.

"Well I guess you were pretty exhausted when they were rattlin' all those rules off last night… He can only have two visitors at a time other than you and I… And they always have ta be accompanied by one of us…And no children other than siblings…So, that's two strikes against her. She's got Addie and Tristan with her, and we've already got one and two in here," he explained pointing to Hannah and then Katie.

"Oh, okay…" she said softly trying to digest what he had just said. She vaguely remembered hearing similar mandates the night before, but he had been right she had been far to exhausted to have been truly listening to a word of what they were saying. At that point her number one concern had only been seeing her little boy…

"Listen, I'll take the girls down the hall, and then I'll be right back. Is that alright?"

"Yeah," she answered, though nowhere near ready to say goodbye to both Hannah and Katie. She knew Sully and Rebecca had planned this intentionally, knowing the girls wouldn't be able to stand long amounts of time just sitting in the hospital. However, her heart ached when she couldn't be with all _three _of her children. Giving Katie a kiss on the cheek and releasing her hold as Katie slid down to the floor, she told her 'goodbye' and how much she loved her as Hannah quickly arrived at her mother's side.

"Bye Mommy," she said softly as she wrapped her arms tightly around Michaela's neck.

"Bye sweetheart," she whispered softly. Pulling back gently and looking directly into her daughter's eyes she said with the upmost sincerity, "Please promise me that you'll talk to Aunt Rebecca if something is bothering you, okay?"

She knew Hannah still seemed a little shaken up over seeing her brother in what appeared to her young eyes to be a very sick condition. That along with the stress of having her mother in the hospital and shifting from adult to adult while Sully stayed by her mother's side, couldn't have been easy by any stretch of the imagination. Truth be told she would have given anything to never let her daughter go.

"I promise. I'll miss you," she said softly glancing from Michaela to the eyes of her waiting father.

"I'll miss you too, honey. But I'll see you as soon as you get back from lunch. Don't worry you'll have fun with Addie," she replied in confidence tucking a strand of her little girl's hair behind her ear.

"Yeah, you're right," Hannah said with a small nod as she turned to leave the room with Sully and Katie.

He threw one last smile in her direction before disappearing from sight. The silence of the room rang through her ears the second the sweet voices of her daughters were no longer present. Picking up the tiny paperback book full of names, again, she flashed through page after page trying to find at least something to suggest. After all he was over a day old now, and he still didn't have a name. She shook her head softly, knowing that was absolutely ridiculous, but truth be told no name seemed good enough for him. No name seemed to encompass those feelings of joy and completely gratitude she felt when she held his tiny hand or kissed his soft cheek. Hannah and Katie had both seemed like the very perfect names for her daughters from the second they had arrived. Though they had picked out both names prior to the girls' births, the second she held each of them in her arms the names simply _felt _right. They felt like the rightful name belonging to each, and she was merely making that official. However, this time she didn't get that same sense no matter what name she tried… Joshua, William, Christopher, Anthony, Aiden, James, Logan… none of them _felt _like the belonged to the beautiful baby boy before her.

"Lookin' through that book again?" he said softly as he wrapped his arms around her from behind.

"Hmmm…" she returned as she flipped another page.

"Found anything this time?" he wondered looking over her shoulder at all the names on the page.

"No, not really. Why is this so hard this time? It seemed so easy to pick out Hannah and Katie's names… Katie after your mother Katherine, and Elizabeth after mine…"

"And you always wanted ta name your daughter Hannah…" he jumped in smiling at the memory of the day she had told him that.

"Yeah," she said with a laugh recalling that beautiful summer afternoon they spent on the beach lying in each other's arms when she had first shared that dream with him. "I was fascinated by the fact that it was spelled the same way forward and backward as a child…"

"And then Marie came from Becca…" he added with a loving smile.

"I still couldn't believe it when you suggested using Becca's middle name for Hannah…" she said softly her voice cracking slightly at the touching memory.

She would never forget how he had explained that he wanted their daughter to carry the middle name of her aunt that had done so much for him when her sister, the love of his life, was in a coma. His words had moved her to tears, as the memory could still do even now.

"Why is it so difficult this time?" she spoke gently as she finally regained her composure.

" 'Cause we're over thinkin' it, that's why… We are both still so touched and feel so blessed that he's healthy that we feel like his name should reflect that joy…"

"Yes, that's exactly it!" she responded amazed that he always seemed to have the ability to put her deepest feelings into words.

"Well before we go back to that struggle of tryin' ta come up with a name, can ya tell me what was wrong earlier?" he asked releasing his hold and coming around to the front of the plastic chair, and kneeling in front of her.

"What?" she returned trying to figure out what instant he was asking about.

"Don't 'what' me," he said gently as he took her hands into his own, his eyes blazing into hers above.

"You know I felt your heart fall and your jaw clench when Katie asked ya if he was goin' ta sleep all the time…"

"I just really hate seeing him like this…" she explained turning her eyes from Sully, to their son, and then back.

"I know he's fine; I know that without a doubt… But I can't stand the fact that the pain medication they're giving him makes him sleep _all_ the time… He's a newborn baby he shouldn't be sleeping like this…" she explained as silent tears threatening to spill down her cheeks.

"You know how many parents would laugh at what ya just said? Sweetie, just try to enjoy this while ya can, 'cause we both know it ain't goin' ta last…" he responded with a grin.

"Yeah, I guess you right. It's just going to take a while not to jump at every little thing…"

"Just be patient. That anxiety will dissipate with time," he said reassuringly, and she nodded in return.

"Is there anything I can do for you? Ya look totally exhausted. Maybe you should go lie down for a while…" he suggested stroking her arm tenderly in encouragement.

"No, I want to stay with him…" she said sternly, shaking her head in firm resolve.

"Sweetheart…" he started softly, pleading with his eyes alone for her to reconsider.

He watched the emotions flash through her eyes as she painstakingly contemplated his request. Clenching his teeth together, he almost thought he could detect a trickle of compliance. He sincerely hoped that was the case, as he could still vividly remember her stubborn defiance from the night before. That powerful independence and stubborn resolve were both things he loved about her, but in times like last night he had been frustrated beyond belief by them both. She had absolutely refused to leave their son, claiming she was going to sleep by his side and that was the end of any discussion on the matter. After over an hour of explaining to her that she had endured major surgery, and if she didn't take care of herself she would be of no use to anyone including their son, she had finally acquiesced and slept in her room down the hall.

As she slowly parted her lips, he knew he had her on the edge of agreement, probably merely a result of her body screaming at her violently to listen to his request. But he honestly didn't care what the reason was, he knew if he acted in this instant she would go along with him willingly.

"Come on…" he said gently as he slowly stood. Grasping both of her hands gently and pulling her to her feet, he looked deeply into her eyes before wrapping one arm around her waist, the other cradling her head as he pulled her close. Then, he whispered in her ear softly, "Thank you. I know this isn't easy for you…"

He knew relinquishing control had always been very difficult for her. It was only in times of desperation that she ever did it willingly, and even then she only felt comfortable giving, him and only him, the lead. Holding her close, he _knew_ she was crying without hearing her utter a sound, and as he ran his fingers lovingly through her hair, he whispered, "Shhh, it's okay. I promise everything is okay… More okay then it's been in a long time…"

Feeling her nod her head faintly, he pulled back gently and then guided her over to kiss their sweet son 'goodbye', before wrapping his arm around her, leading her slowly down the hall. He watched her eyes carefully, knowing that every single step she took was still incredibly painful for her. It ripped him apart from inside as if someone were slicing into him with the blade of a serrated knife, every time she clenched her jaw and winced in pain.

After what seemed like an eternity to him, they had finally reached the small room at the end of the hall. Helping her into bed, he flashed her a warm smile beyond thrilled that she had listened to him with so little protest.

"I'm goin' ta go sit with him…" he explained as he watched her settle comfortably into bed.

"I wish you wouldn't…" she said so softly he almost didn't hear her.

There was no doubt in his mind that she had uttered those words, yet they truly baffled him. Last night the _only_ way she had agreed to leave their son had been on the premise that _he _would be there by the tiny infant all night long. But now she was wishing he wouldn't leave?

Looking into her eyes he knew what she wanted, and as he placed a soft kiss on her hand she whispered, "Stay… with me."

He could feel the tears threatening to fall down his cheeks as the raw emotion in her voice tore at his heart. Wanting to scream 'of course I'll stay with you! You don't even have to ask!', he instead opted for a gesture alone knowing it would encompass so much more. Setting her hand down softly, he gently wrapped his right arm around her while swinging his right leg onto the bed. She immediately moved over slightly, making more room for him in the tiny bed. Within a matter of moments she had snuggled comfortably into his arms, both hands resting on his chest. As he began to stroke her arm softly, both took a deep calming breath, and he soon pulled the covers over them both.

"You're goin' ta be able to sleep right?" he questioned with a smile.

"You know I can always sleep in your arms I told you that years ago," she replied before closing her eyes softly.

"That you did, sweetheart. That you did," he responded soothingly as he combed his fingers through her hair, remembering the first time she had said that to him on her parents' staircase in Boston.

Listening to her breathing become deeper and deeper as she drifted off to sleep, he fought the urge to let sleep capture him as well. He knew he should be awake for when Becca arrived back with the girls, or if there suddenly became a problem with their son, as they were still watching for complications. However, soon he could ignore it no longer as his eyelids became too heavy to hold open, his head to heavy to hold up. She had said she slept better in his arms, but truth be told _he_ slept better when he held her close. And as he finally drifted off to sleep, he realized how wonderfully different his life was from the last time he held her so close in his arms.

* * *

**January 17****th****, 2018**

Looking down into the dazzling blue eyes staring back at her, she could feel the powerful joy pumping through her heart. With every breath she took, the euphoria from inside was all consuming. Staring at the chubby cheeks, the bright blue eyes, the soft wisps of light brown hair, the soft bright pink lips, and the tiny little nose of the bundle of joy in her arms, she felt the tears flicker from her eyes and down her face, as she struggled to control the instant rush of total elation she felt from finally holding her baby boy. After months and months of imagining what it would be like to cradle her little boy in her arms, the day had finally come. Snuggling him closer against her chest and cupping his face lovingly in her hand, she thought her heart would burst with love for the tiny little one in her arms. Bending down ever so slightly, and placing a kiss atop his forehead, she grasped his hand with her free left one as she rocked him back and forth in her arms.

As he watched his beautiful wife holding his son in her arms for the very first time, he knew this was the most stunningly gorgeous sight he had ever seen. Having witnessed countless sunsets, snow covered mountains, sunrises on the beach, crystal clear waters in the Caribbean, breathtaking waterfalls, and city skylines full of sparkling lights in the night sky, he could say with confidence that none could hold a candle to the woman before him looking down at his son with an adoration he had never seen.

She had given off a special radiance the first time she had held both Hannah and Katie, but this time was so very different. All of the worry and anticipation leading up to what this moment would be like had only served to make it even more unforgettable for her, and it showed to everyone within miles. He knew the scene before him would create images that would last his entire lifetime. Every time he closed his eyes for the rest of his days, he would never forget that look in her eyes or the sparkle pouring out from her.

"Oh God I love you," she whispered before placing another kiss on his tiny cheek. "I love you so very very much."

"Wouldn't it be nice ta add a name to the end of that?" he teased with a smile as he wrapped his arm around her gently.

"Well, actually I had a thought on that…" she returned catching his eyes for a brief moment before turning them back on their baby boy.

"Yeah?"

"Look at page eight-six," she asked gesturing slightly towards the tiny paperback book of names they had both been flipping through for days now.

Leaving her side and retrieving the book, he began thumbing through the pages looking for the one she had marked with a single black line under the nine-letter name. The second his eyes landed on the black print letters, he looked up at her, staring in complete awe. Looking back down at the page before him, he immediately said in surprised outrage, "No way, Michaela! I love ya, but no way! That's not happen'…"

"Oh, I think you're grossly exaggerating here…" she said softly before flashing their son a funny grin as he stared up at her in awe.

"No, I ain't doin' that ta him. I mean it, Michaela," he reinforced firmly.

"Come on _please_," she pleaded flashing him her most charming smile. "We don't have to call him by his full name…"

He could feel his strong resolve crumbling as she begged him with those eyes full of longing for him to grant this wish. He _hated_ when she did that to him. No matter how he felt about something, no matter how strongly opposed he was to relenting, he simply couldn't continue to say 'no' to her if she really insisted on something. And she knew that too. No matter how against this name he really was, he knew that within a matter of moments it would more than likely belong to his son…

"Please just hear me out for a second…" she began looking for his agreement for her to continue.

He nodded as he clamped his jaw down tight, agreeing to at least hear her out, although he had a feeling he already knew her exact reasoning for choosing this name.

"Do you know what that name means?" she ventured gently.

"No…" he stammered unsure as to where she was going with this.

"Sully, it means 'Gift of God.' It's just beyond perfect…" she explained still looking towards him with such a persistent petitioning stare.

When he said nothing, only gazed into her eyes she said softly, "Please?…"

That was his undoing. That one sweet simple word had said all she needed to say. She wouldn't have continued to press this if it wasn't important to her. And although he didn't want to admit it, she was right the meaning behind that name was perfect… It was just the name itself he wasn't crazy about. The fact of the matter was it didn't matter how he felt about it. He would never forget how much she suffered over the last several months…The never-ending tears… the looks of total sorrow… nights where she had cried herself to sleep…the deep guilt she felt inside… how far she had fallen… _She _was obviously head over heels with the idea, and he was head over heels in love with her. As always he knew love would crush his stubbornness, and he would eventually concede to her wish. So, knowing what was down the road, he figured he would save them both some trouble and just relent now…

"I promise I will never ever call him by his full name. Not even when he's in trouble…" she added hoping that would seal the deal.

"What if he drops out of high school?" he challenged knowing how she felt about education.

"Nope," she returned with a smile.

"What if he calls ya from jail and needs you ta bail him out?"

"No, I still won't call him that," she answered.

"What if he sets the house on fire?"

"No, I still won't," she responded with confidence.

"Alright, what if when you're sleepin' he decides to have a little fun with the scissors you forgot ta put away, and he cuts off half your hair?" he teased with a grin.

"All right you just crossed a line there…"

"Promise me ya won't ever ever call him that full name, and I'll let ya name him that," he finally agreed with a shrug.

"Really and truly?" she said her eyes lighting up.

"Really and truly. Oh and when he complains about what a stupid name that is you have ta take full blame for it. None of this your dad liked it too. Nope, you have ta tell him this was all _your_ idea…."

"Deal," she said with a wide grin as he wrapped her in his arms.

"I love you so much. Thank you sweetheart," she whispered as she leaded back against his chest. "I know you aren't crazy about this, but you have to admit it truly is perfect. After all who better to name him after then his father who guided his mother through the last five months so flawlessly…."

"Well I at least get ta pick out his middle name then…" he exclaimed hoping for her willing agreement.

"Sure…" she happily returned still shocked he had so readily agreed to the name that meant so very much to her.

"Your turn…" she said turning slightly to look up into his eyes.

"What?" he questioned, caressing her shoulder gently.

"To hold him… To feel the magic…" she explained, holding her arms out towards him.

Smiling up at her, he watched as she placed another kiss on the infant's head, then skillfully passed his son smoothly into his outstretched arms. As his eyes met his baby boy's, he was truly at a total loss for words. Holding the tiny little infant so closely against him, the complete flood of joy totally overwhelmed him. Knowing he would never be able to accurately describe to anyone the love and pride that was coursing through his veins, he sent a grin in Michaela's direction, having no doubt she had felt the very same only moments before. Everything just felt totally surreal as he looked down at the beautiful baby boy he had been waiting to hold for so very long. He couldn't seem to wipe the enormous smile off his face, as he realized how perfectly his son seemed to fit into his arms.

She marveled at the sight before her, knowing how much this moment meant to him. It wasn't that holding Hannah and Katie for the very first time had been any less incredible or special, but this time it truly was a different kind of wonderful. As she watched her stunning husband holding his son and looking down in complete awe and love, she wished this moment would last forever. Although she knew it would eventually come to an end, the memory would last a lifetime; that she was sure of without a doubt. Personally, she had never truly doubted God's existence, as she had seen too many miracles throughout her years working in hospitals to ever be able to question Him. However, after seeing her husband's eyes sparkling with such love for the little bundle in his arms, her faith was now even more unwavering. God had given her a tremendous miracle in the form of a tiny, healthy baby boy.

"He's perfect…" he whispered softly still gazing down into his son's blue eyes.

"Yes, just like his father," she replied before leaning against his shoulder.

The instant he felt her close against him, he carefully maneuvered the sweet baby in his arms, freeing one arm. Then, after nudging her slightly, she lifted her head, and he wrapped her in his other arm. With his son and his wife in each arm, he knew his wish from days ago had finally come true. He was holding them both in his arms once more, only this time his son wasn't inside his mother with a fate unknown. Instead he had entered the world only to become a healthy, happy baby within hours of arriving, and nothing could ever have made his mother or father happier.


	28. Chapter 28

**Ch.28**

**January 18****th****, 2018**

Glancing over to her right, she looked on lovingly as she watched her father's eyes light up with joy as he held his grandson for the very first time. She knew he too was feeling that same wonderful, special magic that seemed to course through her body whenever the tiny infant was in her own arms. As her father smiled down at her sweet son, she couldn't stop her mind from drifting towards images that seemed to stream forward so easily every time she looked into those tiny vibrant blue eyes. They were images conjured directly from the similarities to his father, as visions of Sully as a baby and tiny little boy with a baseball cap and mitt circled through her mind.

"Oh Michaela, he's so perfect," Joseph declared with pride.

Though there were four adults in the room, in that moment she shared what could only be described as a secret smile with her father. She knew how truly special it was for him to hold her _son._ Not that he didn't love Hannah and Katie equally as much, but the fact of the matter was he had wished for a boy prior to her birth, something she had known for years and years. Of course he had fallen in love with her the very second he had laid eyes on her, and all thoughts of wanting a son had vanished completely. However, they had always done so many of those 'father and son' things together, as she effectively filled the shoes of the son he'd never had, and she knew that he felt an extra special connection to _her_ son. Remembering the look on his face when she had first told him her son would be born with spina bifida almost brought her to tears once again, as she realized for the thousandth time that day how very different things could have been for not just for her son, but for everyone around him.

Shaking herself slightly, and pulling her thoughts back to Joseph's words from only moments before, she said, "I know…"

Sully, watching her from a few feet away, knew that all was right with the world as her voice sang with such joy and excitement. He lived to hear her speak with such wonder, her face lit up with a radiant glow.

"And he hardly cries at all… Especially compared to Katie," she added remembering how difficult Katie had been as an infant with vivid accuracy.

Likewise Sully could also very readily recall how hard it had been to comfort Katie. He would never forget that piercing scream she used to voice for no apparent reason. She was the very definition of an infant that cried to simply cry. Remembering back to those terrible nights of holding a child that couldn't be consoled, gave him a sharp chill. He had to quickly remind himself that all children were different, and his son, as Michaela had said, had shown every indication that he wouldn't be a particularly fussy baby.

"Well he gave you such a hard time before he was born this must be the universe's way of making it up to you…" Elizabeth added.

"Guess that's one way ta look at it," Sully said with a laugh.

"Well if it had been up to me I would have taken an infant that cries constantly over those terrible five months in a heartbeat…" Michaela chimed in wistfully.

Standing from his chair in the corner of the room, he approached her side in an instant, wrapping his arms around her from behind. Though her parents may have taken what she said lightly, he knew it was really a bit of that pain surfacing again. From the outside he knew it would look to others as if everything was perfect in their world. They were both exceedingly grateful for their beautiful son and his health, but that didn't merely erase the pain of the last several months. That wound wouldn't be something that would evaporate overnight, rather it would be something neither would ever forget. A wound of that impact would take a while to heal, though his health had more then given them a running start.

As she leaned back further into his arms, he closed his eyes for a moment, breathing in deeply. Kissing her cheek softly, he pressed his cheek to hers loving the fact that even after days upon days in the hospital she still smelled like sunshine and oranges, the very essence of a California girl.

Turning his eyes from his charmingly adorable grandson, to his daughter smiling in the arms of her husband, he said softly, "And boy does he look like his father…"

"Oh, I don't know about that… Every time I look at him in my arms I always see his mother," Sully replied with a warm smile.

Turning around in his arms to face him directly, she chimed in with, "No, he's right sweetheart. He's the spitting image of you with those blue eyes so stunning they could kill…"

"So, stunning they could kill, huh?" he mocked teasingly, grinning down at her with total affection.

"They've slayed me more times than I can count…" she responded with a coy smile.

"Well your eyes are just as captivatin'. They pulled me in the very second I met you…"

"So, with your eyes and my eye lashes, he's going to be breaking girls' hearts left and right…" she returned relishing in that look of utter love and longing his piercing stare emanated.

"Guess I'll just have ta teach him how to take care of a woman's heart. After all your heart is the most precious thing I own…"

"And you've spent every day of your life showing me that…" she returned wishing more than anything that they were the only two in the room, so she could pull him deep into her arms and never let him go. Though she had quickly become mesmerized by his charming smile and his words of love, that tiny voice in the back of her head constantly reminded her that they weren't alone.

Though finding their love for one another endearing, Joseph could tell the two needed a little jolt back to the present. Clearing his throat slightly he asked, "So, when are you finally going to tell us our grandson's name?"

"Oh, they are probably still looking through that ridiculous book of names…" Elizabeth added rolling her eyes slightly.

"We actually picked one out yesterday…" she began looking towards her father, then Sully seeking his approval to share their choice.

"Well?" Elizabeth questioned impatiently never one for waiting on Michaela to spit something out.

"Well… Sully let me choose his first name, but this is the only time I'm ever going to use it. Part of our deal was that everyone call him by the nickname we've chosen under any and all circumstances…"

"Now you really have us intrigued…" Joseph said with a chuckle.

"It's Sully's middle name actually, and he isn't too fond of it…"

"Isn't too fond of it? That's the understatement of the century," Sully jumped in shaking his head slightly.

"Sully, I didn't even know you had a middle name son…" Joseph returned a little startled by this new admission.

"Neither did I as you vehemently argued with Michaela about even listing your _first_ name on the wedding program and invitations…" Elizabeth joined in.

"Yeah, and I still hate that _Bryon_ was listed on something important like that," he returned, his disgust after all these years still apparent.

"Well I wasn't going to have the printer declare that Michaela Ann Quinn was marrying Sully. That would have just looked ridiculous…" Michaela teased nudging him playfully.

"True, but that's why ya should've just said Michaela is marrying Sully. Plain and simple," he joked with a grin.

"That would have been almost more ridiculous then the first option," she said with a giggle remembering the lace trimmed wedding invitation that had be the epitome of elegance.

"So, what is this middle name of yours you are so against?" Joseph questioned with a smirk.

"I don't know why you dislike it so much. I love it," Michaela returned with the upmost sincerity.

"Well obviously or ya wouldn't have insisted on namin' our son that…" he replied with a laugh.

"Before I tell you both, you have to promise to only call him by the nickname Sully is happy with…" she requested.

"Sure," Joseph responded quickly. Elizabeth nodded as well, looking anxiously towards her daughter.

"His full first name is Nathaniel," she announced with a proud smile.

"That's a wonderful name!" Elizabeth exclaimed. "Why in the world are you so against it?"

"I don't know… I just hate that name _Byron Nathaniel_… Makes my skin crawl…" he explained with a shudder.

"Well his name is not _Byron_ Nathaniel," she said with a giggle. " I let you pick his middle name… And like I said I promise to never call him Nathaniel…"

"Right and ya better keep that promise," he responded with a wink. Then, turning back towards her parents, he knew they were anxiously awaiting his declaration of their baby boy's middle name. "Your grandson's name is Nathan Michael Sully…" he announced proudly for the very first time, having decided on his middle name yesterday as well, but not having told Michaela yet.

"Michael?" she said softly her voice heavy with emotion.

"Yeah, Michael. You explained how important it was ta you to name him after me. Well it's equally important ta me to name him after you…" he explained watching tears stream down her face. "Michaela, I know you constantly underestimate how much ya did for him when he was inside of you for so many months. I've always admired you for your strength, but that strength was never so apparent as in these last nine months. You struggled immensely ta deal with that terrible news that was thrust in our faces, but ya never stopped carin' for or lovin' him… He should be named after _you, _too…"

Throwing herself into his arms once again, she couldn't stop the tears from falling as her heart took in everything he had just said. Feeling her arms wrapping tightly around his waist, her head resting against his chest, he cradled her close knowing everything she felt inside. It was the very same way he felt when she had first asked to name him Nathaniel; it was for that very reason that he had so readily acquiesced, his heart so touched by the meaning behind it.

"You couldn't have chosen a better name…" Joseph said softly his eyes shinning with tears as well.

Pulling back slightly from Sully's embrace, she turned back towards her father and said, "Oh, and I forgot to tell you what the name Nathaniel means…"

"Gift of God…" Sully jumped in grinning down at her, then over towards his son.

"Joseph is right. You couldn't have chosen a better name… He truly is a gift from God," Elizabeth returned with a warm smile.

All four shared glances from one set of eyes to the other, and though no words passed between them, all knew that very profound statement to be true. If it wasn't for God they wouldn't be standing here over this little one with such joy and love in their hearts, minds, and eyes. Not only had God blessed their baby boy with his health, but if it wasn't for Him they wouldn't have a son at all. Looking over at her baby boy once again, she couldn't have felt more blessed, as God had given her the gift of being a mother to another child. And that she knew was the greatest gift that could ever be bestowed upon her.

* * *

**January 19****th****, 2018 **

"Please Mommy?" Hannah asked with pleading eyes. "I miss you…"

"Yeah, please Mommy? Pretty please with sugar on top and a cherry?" Katie added, likewise flashing those petitioning eyes.

"Girls, I'm sorry, but I have to stay with your brother," she explained gently.

"Why can't he come home too?" Katie asked still confused as to why Nathan was still in the hospital if, as Michaela and Sully explained, he wasn't sick any longer.

"He can't come home with us until Monday," she answered.

"But why?" Katie questioned again, still not understanding why her brother was to remain in the hospital for three more days.

"The doctors really want to make sure that he's completely fine before he comes home with us. They need to make sure he's not going to get sick again," she returned knowing what she said was somewhat far from the truth.

The truth of the matter being the doctors had to ensure that his surgical wound had healed fully before sending him home. She had tried to convince them that as a pediatric surgeon that was something she was more than equip to handle on her own, however, there was still a risk of infection to which allowing him to leave the hospital would only increase. So, she had remained faithfully by his side, though she had been discharged from the hospital days ago.

For the last two days she had absolutely refused to leave him, even though Sully, Rebecca, and even her mother and father had tried to convince her to at least go home and sleep in her own bed at night rather than a chair in the corner of his room. She had no doubt that leaving the girls in here alone with her on the pretext of talking to Edmund had been an elaborate attempt on his part to get her home for the evening. He had obviously believed that the girls would be able to talk her into it if they begged her enough, as that was one of the reasons he returned home every night. He also had expressed that he felt it unfair to continue to leave the girls in the care of family members after already receiving their help for several days.

He too had wanted to remain by Nathan's and her side, and had only agreed to go home at night because Katie and Hannah had pleaded with him, probably under Rebecca's instruction. He had caved into their demands just as he caved into hers on more than one occasion, as he clearly could only deny the girls he loved most what they wanted so deeply for so long. However, she wasn't that easy to convince. No matter how much she loved Hannah and Katie and wanted to give them everything in the world, she wouldn't relent here.

"Well can't you come home at night like Daddy does and eat breakfast with us? Then, you could come back and spend the day with him," Hannah explained taking her mother's hand gently between her two tiny hands.

Taking a deep breath she realized how difficult this was truly going to be for her to answer. She wanted to tell them the truth that under no circumstance was she going to leave her baby boy in the hospital alone. She knew they wouldn't even begin to understand the pain that would cause her as a mother, and honestly she didn't even know how to begin explaining something of that magnitude.

"Sweetheart, I could do that, but I don't want to do that to him. If you were sick and in the hospital you would want me to hold you the whole time, right? And never leave your side?"

Hannah nodded in response as she remembered how terrified she had been only months ago when she had come to this very hospital with a broken arm. She had needed Michaela by her side the entire time, and though she couldn't put that feeling of sheer desperation into words, she completely understood what her mother was trying to say.

"Well honey he's a baby and can't call out for me like you could. He needs me here with him, and I'm not going to leave him. I know you miss me, because I miss you girls more than I can say. Just try to hang in there. Monday will be here before you know it, and your Daddy and I will be able to bring him home for good."

With such determination and finality in her words both girls knew they had lost the battle, and as Michaela pleaded with her eyes for their understanding, Katie could no longer hold her tears back.

"Oh, Katie…" Michaela whispered, gently pulling her hand from Hannah's grasp and placing her hands under her youngest daughter's arms.

Before she could lift her the short distance onto her lap, she immediately realized her mistake. Pulling her arms back, she motioned for Katie to climb up onto her, to which she did in a split second. Situating Katie on her left side, she reached out her right arm towards Hannah, and her oldest daughter quickly climbed up onto her lap as well. With one arm around Katie and the other around Hannah, both girls lying on her chest, she couldn't deny that feeling of guilt that seeped into her being. It was a sinking feeling as if she were drowning in quick sand. She knew she was in a 'no win' situation. No matter what she chose to do she couldn't be there for all three of her children. Obviously, Sully wasn't enough by himself, as the girls were begging for her as well.

"I love your girls so very very much. Every day when I wake up, and every night before I drift off to sleep, I thank God for sending you both into my life. I'm the luckiest mother in the world to have two perfect little girls and one perfect little boy. And I know how much you both want things back to normal, and I promise you that they will be very soon. You just have to be patient. Can you do that for me?" she asked looking down into both pairs of sparkling eyes.

"Yeah," Hannah answered softly, followed by Katie replying with, "Uh, huh."

"Thank you," she whispered before she heard him walk through the door.

He smiled gently as his eyes landed on the sight before him. It always warmed his heart to see both of his beloved daughters in the arms of the woman who still took his breath away.

"Hey girls, your Uncle Edmund is waitin' just outside ta take you both ta dinner. Then, he's goin' ta bring you back here, and I'm goin' ta drive us home. That sound like a plan?"

"You bet!" Hannah said with excitement as Katie quickly agreed.

Jumping down from her mother's lap, she was about to bound across the room and into Sully's arms, when Michaela stopped her.

"Katie, can I please get a kiss goodbye?" Michaela asked with a smile.

Closing the short distance she had created between Michaela and herself, she wrapped her arms around her mother's neck as Michaela wrapped her one free arm around her youngest sweetheart.

"I love you Mommy. See you after dinner," she declared placing a kiss on her mother's cheek.

Michaela returned the gesture, then watched as the little brunette scampered into Sully's outstretched arms.

Turning to face her mother, Hannah whispered softly, "You sure you can't come with us even to dinner? He's sleeping now. He'll be all right."

"Yeah, I'm sure. I'm sorry sweetheart; I promise to make it up to you sometime soon…"

"Okay. I love you Mommy," she said sweetly before slowing lowering her feet to the floor and running to Sully's side.

Motioning for him to crouch down to her level, she cupped her hands around his ear and whispered, "Sorry, Daddy. We didn't have any luck. I tried my best…"

"Yeah, we tried real hard!" Katie chimed in though her voice wasn't a whisper at all and was clearly heard by all parties in the room.

"Katie! Shhh!" Hannah chided loudly, glaring at her sister.

"Sorry…" Katie returned glancing up at her father apologetically, then turning an angry gaze on Hannah.

Hannah only narrowed her eyes further, now in a full stare down with Katie. Before Sully had a chance to dissolve the tension, Katie stuck her tongue out in Hannah's direction daring her sister to react.

"Hey, Katie knock that off," Sully cautioned sternly, nudging her slightly. "You need to apologize ta Hannah."

"No," she returned slamming her foot on the ground and crossing her arms in protest. "She's being mean to me!" she cried in outrage.

"Katie," he spoke sternly again, crouching down in front of her putting both hands firmly on her shoulders. "Now I'm not goin' ta ask ya again. That tongue of yours belongs in your mouth and ya know it. Now apologize to your sister."

"It's not fair! You didn't see her. She was looking at me like she was going to kill me. I didn't mean to say anything…" she stammered as tears ran down her cheeks.

Not wanting to undermind his authority, Michaela had remained silent. However, now seeing his look of total frustration she knew he could use the backup. So, jumping in she said, "Katie, apologize to Hannah now. And Hannah stop looking at her like that. You're making her feel terrible."

"Sorry, Hannah…" Katie replied through tears.

"It's okay…" Hannah answered with a shrug as she met eyes with her mother.

"Now go give your sister a hug," he requested giving Katie a small push towards Hannah.

Hannah immediately opened her arms, pulling Katie in close as the overprotective big sister inside of her only wanted to make Katie's tears stop. Within a few seconds of receiving Hannah's genuine acceptance of her apology, Katie stopped crying and wiped her tear-stained cheeks softly with the back of her hand.

Pulling both little girls into his arms, he said goodbye to each of them, and winked in Michaela's direction before taking them down the hall to meet Edmund.

Closing the door softly behind him, his heart hit the floor the second his eyes landed on her figure. With her elbows on her knees, her face buried in her hands, he could see her shoulders shaking and knew immediately that she was silently sobbing. Sitting down in front of her, he gently pried her hands away from her face, giving them a slight tug hoping to encourage her to join him on the floor. As soon as she felt his gentle touch, her tears seemed to slow instantaneously as deep inside she knew he would take her pain away. Joining him on the floor, she quickly curled up in his lap, letting him simply hold her close in his arms.

"Shhh," he soothed as he softly brushed strands of her hair out of her face. He honestly had absolutely no idea what had her so upset, but he sensed that his touch alone could calm her down. He wasn't mistaken as within a few minutes she had calmed down completely, taking in a few deep breaths to steady herself.

"You wanna tell me what's wrong?" he asked cupping her face gently in his hand.

"I don't know…" she stammered, knowing that statement was partly the truth.

He simply continued to rub small circles across her back, hoping that she would start to spill out the truth if he waited long enough. He had learned, in the last several months especially, to be patient with her and wait silently until she felt comfortable enough to open up to him.

"I feel so bad about letting Hannah and Katie down… They really miss me and want me to come home with you guys, and a big part of me wishes that I could…"

"Why can't you?" he probed gently.

"Sully, you and I both know I can't leave him…"

"Why can't you leave him?" he questioned softly. "He's got a nurse assigned ta him twenty-four seven. If he needs anything she'll make sure he gets it. 'Sides if you went home at night you would sleep so much better and be a better mother to him when ya were here."

"I can't Sully… I can't let another woman hold my baby… Comfort him while he cries… Hold him so he can fall back asleep… I just can't do it… It doesn't matter how tired I am, or how badly I wish that I could simply ignore this pull to never leave him… Just imagining what it would be like to drive away from here tonight without him is excruciating… Mothers are supposed to leave the hospital_ with _their children… There's just no way I can do that… No way…" she cried.

"Shh it's okay. It's okay. I'm sorry I tried ta force you to leave… I'm just really worried about you…" he confided.

"Sicking the girls on me was pretty low…" she returned with the hint of a smile.

"I'm sorry…" he answered regretfully. "I just really wanted you ta listen to me, and I thought maybe the girls could talk some sense into ya. But now I see that it would truly rip ya apart to leave him… I mean it's terrible for me too, but I guess I've just always told myself that he has you…"

"Yeah…" she uttered in agreement.

"I could be the one to stay with him tonight," he suggested softly. "Would it make you feel any better knowin' he was in my arms?"

"Yes…" she whispered.

"Please honey… I'm really worried about ya. I think it would be good for you ta finally get out of here for a few hours. I promise to take care of him perfectly while you're gone. Every time he cries I'll run to him without fail."

As she averted her eyes from his, he could tell that her resolve was crackling more and more every second. The girls had started the crack in her shell, and now he had successfully made it a little bigger. With prayer and a little bit of luck, he was sure he could crack it open completely.

"Sweetheart…" he began as he watched her eyes wander over towards their little boy.

"For one night let me take care of all three of my girls _and_ my little boy…"

Fluttering her eyes closed for a second, she knew she should give in and go home with the girls. He had been the perfect father to both Hannah and Katie all these years and had taken care of both girls flawlessly when they were both infants. If she did relent, her baby boy couldn't be in better hands. But the thought of walking out of those sliding glass doors without either of the boys she loved so deeply just didn't seem possible…

"I don't think I can leave… you _both_…" she stuttered as she tried to keep her tears at bay.

"I felt the very same way when I walked out of those doors Wednesday night. But ya know what helped me?"

"What?" she asked in interest as she gently swiped at the tears falling down her face.

"You've got ta promise not ta get mad at me…" he returned raising an eyebrow slightly.

"Wh…" she began before he cut her off by gently laying his index finger over her lips.

"Just promise. No questions," he returned before lowering his finger.

"All right then… I promise…" she answered her face showing how skeptical she felt about promising something prior to knowing to what he was referring.

"I know how much we always vowed not ta do this… But well… I let Hannah and Katie sleep in our bed with me…" he confessed a shadow of guilt crossing his face.

"Oh, Sully…" she returned in almost a whisper.

"Yeah, I know, I know. I shouldn't have done that. But both of them just miss us so much, and we were watchin' a movie in our room, and I just didn't have the heart to make them go back to their own rooms. And…" he began quietly before turning his eyes back to hers, "Well they both just remind me so much of you. It was like I had a little piece of you with me, even though you weren't sleepin' by my side."

Throwing her arms around his neck, she quickly pulled him as close as she could, needing him to feel her love as deeply as possible. Running her fingers through his hair as she pressed her cheek against his, she could feel that overwhelming love course through her that only seemed to appear in his presence.

"I love you so much…" she confessed in a rush just wanting him to know without a doubt what she wanted the shout from the rooftops.

Pulling back from her deep embrace gently and looking directly at her, he questioned with a small smile, "So you're not mad at me then?"

"Of course not," she returned affectionately.

"Well what do ya think about doin' that tonight? I'll have Edmund drive you girls home, and then you can all sleep in our bed together. And remember what we did last time I made ya sleep apart from me?" he wondered with a gleam in his eyes.

"Yeah…" she returned softly, her face turning from one stained with tears and laced with sadness, to an expression of happiness and heart-pounding love.

"Alright, then. I'll call ya, and we can both go ta sleep together. I don't know why I didn't think of that sooner…" he admitted his mind clearly recalling how painful the last two nights without her had been for him.

"But you thought of it now…" she ventured running her finger tenderly across his jaw-line.

"Hmmm…" he mumbled in agreement, his eyes still fixed on the green and brown ones before him.

Running his hand across her cheek, and through strands of her light brown hair, he pulled her face gently towards his, and from the second his lips touched hers he couldn't have been happier as he felt the last bit of sorrow leave her soul. Knowing he had succeeded in removing every ounce of her pain, only made him love her more, as he was positive he was the only one in the world with that power over her heart. Pulling away from her gently, his lips immediately formed a wide smile, as their foreheads continued to touch in an attempt to stay connected.

Watching her lips form the very same smile his had only seconds before he whispered, "So, you're goin' home tonight, right? I promise he'll be safe with me…"

"Yes… And you don't have to promise that. I never doubted you; not even for a second."

Letting a deep breath escape her lips, she felt all the tension of the last hour evaporate, as she knew he had once again swooped in as her knight in shining armor, saving the day. After five days of living in the hospital, she was finally going to get to go home with her girls. Though she knew she would miss him and Nathan immensely, she also understood there truly was nothing to worry about. Her little boy would be in the arms of his father, and she knew how truly comforting and safe that very spot was.

* * *

**January 22****nd****, 2018 **

Looking over his right shoulder he asked softly, "Is he still asleep?"

"Yes…" she replied her eyes still focused on the infant car-seat next to her. "I can't believe we are finally bringing him home…"

"Yeah…" he returned that one word heavy with deep meaning, as these last eight days had dragged by at an agonizingly slow pace.

Glancing towards the wooden workbench in the corner of the garage, he couldn't help but feel overcome with an almost dazed amazement, remembering staring out the front windshield exactly five months and one day ago trying to picture what this moment would be like. His heart had felt the heavy truth as his mind had created mental pictures of this very day, this very moment… However, these pictures hadn't been filled with this happiness or excitement soaring through him… They had only consisted of acceptance… Acceptance had been what he considered the very brightest outcome, but oh how wrong that picture had been. Though he hadn't realized it, the picture of his life was destined to be full of much brighter colors.

Placing her hand gently on his shoulder, she asked almost in a whisper, "What are you thinking about?"

"Just rememberin' that day we drove home from the hospital… When I was sittin' in this very garage I imagined this moment…I had convinced myself this amazin' feeling of joy we both have would just be something we wouldn't feel…" he confessed as a tear trickled from his eye.

Unbuckling her seat belt and edging forward to the very front of the seat, she leaned forward, wrapping her arms around his neck allowing her head to rest on his right shoulder.

"Just don't ever forget this feeling…" she returned gently. "In the years to come when God feels furthest away, remember this very instant… Remember the moment when you felt His love surrounding you so fully…He's like the sun… During the winter months when the sun seems the furthest away from Earth, it's actually the closest…"

He flashed her a loving smile, still charmed by her intellect even after all these years. "I won't… I'll never forget this very moment…" he responded.

"Neither will I…" she agreed as they let the silence filled their ears, both trying to imprint this very second into their thoughts and minds forever.

After several moments spent in wonder of what had become, he leaned forward slightly, and she retracted her arms, sitting back further in the seat one again. Unbuckling his seat belt, he quickly opened his door and joined her in the backseat on the other side of his son. Helping her unbuckle the carseat, he smiled down at his little boy sleeping peacefully in his tiny little racecar sleeper. Then, taking the infant seat in one hand, his wife's hand in the other, he led the way inside.

As she withdrew her keys from her pocket, she winked in his direction as she unlocked the door and stepped inside with his fingers still locked around hers. The very second they both stepped foot in the house, Rebecca arrived at their side quickly ushering them into the living room.

Setting the carseat down carefully on the couch, he watched as both Rebecca and Michaela ran to Nathan's side. He let out a small chuckle, as he watched their eyes light up as they stared down at the adorable infant in total wonderment.

"Oh Michaela, he gets cuter every day I swear!" Rebecca exclaimed. "I can't believe he's sleeping!" she added surprised the trip home hadn't woken him up.

"Well he was awake when we left the hospital. I guess the car ride really knocked him out…" Michaela speculated.

"Nah, it wasn't the car ride. It was that sweet voice of yours," Sully said beaming at the memory of her singing softly to their little boy as he drove them all home. "There's no doubt that you enchanted another male with that graceful singin' voice that still leaves me in awe every time I hear it…

Grinning shyly in his direction, she watched her sister shaking her head with a grin on her face.

"Now Michaela remind me again... Where did you find this man that's the essence of perfection?" she said with a smirk.

"Umm I moved in across from him…" she answered softly her mind drifting to the feelings he drew within her from the moment he fixed his gaze on her for the very first time.

"Better remember that when your daughters are looking for their prince… You might want to suggest they move into that same apartment," she said with a teasing wink.

"Oh geez…" Sully returned as he watched Michaela giggling in response to Rebecca's comment. "I'm goin' ta go find Hannah and Katie…"

"They're in Hannah's room watching _Despicable Me,_" Rebecca added, and he gave her a quick hug before making his way towards the staircase in a few long strides.

"Look at those tiny little fingers…" Rebecca whispered as they both stared down at the little boy before them.

"Oh, I know! And you can't see them now, but those eyes of his take my breath away, just like his daddy's…"

"He looks so adorable sucking on that pacifier so hard! Aww he makes me remember when Tristan was his age…"

"Oh God Becca I just love him so much! He really is the perfect baby…"

"Will you be saying that at two in the morning when he won't stop screaming?" Rebecca teased.

"Oh, I think I will be. I think I will spend the rest of his life with those very thoughts… I felt so cheated when he was inside of me… I know that's a terrible thing to say, but I felt like that joy that comes from carrying your baby inside of you was stolen out from under me… I spent over half of those nine months agonizing over his birth rather than anticipating it and celebrating it…" she confessed.

"Michaela…" Rebecca jumped in immediately pulling her sister into her arms.

"No, this isn't a sad thing. I just feel like I've finally been given that happiness back; that overwhelming pleasure that circles through you that makes you just want to jump up and down. It's like I didn't get to experience that while he was inside of me, but I'm getting to feel it now… And because of that he truly is perfect…"

"Oh sweetie…" she whispered in return as her eyes had filled with tears upon hearing Michaela's confession.

Watching her sister literally glowing with happiness as she looked over at her son sleeping so peacefully, finally at home with his family, she fully felt all the anxiety she had carried around for months now leave her completely. She had agonized over her nephew's health, and the impact it had and would have on her sister, nieces, and her sister's husband whom she regarded as a brother, for what seemed like forever. However, that was completely behind them now, and she knew that was something her sister valued more than life itself. That knowledge brought her a whole knew sense of peace that she too would never take for granted again.

* * *

Stroking his cheek gently, she smiled down at her baby boy, asleep in his crib for the very first time. Pulling the striped bedding up slightly, making sure the thin blanket came fully up to his chest, she let a soft sigh escape her lips as she leaned back into her husband's warm embrace.

"Man, I can't believe he still didn't wake up! Not even when I moved him from the carseat to the crib…" he stated in disbelief.

"He must be a hard sleeper like Hannah…" she returned brushing a strand of his light brown hair across his forehead.

"Well if ya don't stop touchin' him he's goin' ta wake up," he teased in a whisper as he nudged her slightly.

"I can't help it… I just want to hold him in my arms and never let go…"

"It's that overwhelmin' flood of happiness he brings you…" he added in understanding.

"Yes, exactly! Every time I hold him or look at him, I feel those same electric bolts of happiness I felt shoot through me the second I read that pregnancy test and knew he was growing inside of me…"

He knew the very feeling she was talking about, as he vividly remembered it surging through him the second he comprehended exactly what she had told him that night she made him dinner back in May. He, too, felt it every time he held tiny Nathan Michael in his arms. Looking down at the animated pirate figures on the blanket she had wrapped around him tightly, he felt a tear stream down his cheek. Much like the total bliss that had consumed him upon finding out she was having another child that had caused his eyes to flood with tears, he couldn't contain his excitement at the idyllic picture before him.

Before he had a chance to agree with her aloud, he caught the tiniest flash of green peaking out from the side of the striped, pirate blanket. Loosening his grip on her slightly and reaching one hand forward, he attempted to pull the blanket covering his son back every so slightly. She gripped his arm with her own hand, catching it in mid-air and flashing him a challenging grin.

"Just what do you think you are doing? You just yelled at me to stop touching him!" she chided playfully.

"I'm not touchin' him, I'm just movin' his blanket for a minute," he answered trying to gently jerk his arm out of her hold.

"No don't!" she said with a laugh, and he knew now his suspicious had been accurate.

Removing her hand from his arm gently, even through her protests, he reached down and pulled the blanket back slightly. The second his eyes landed on the ridiculous green booties she had covering their son's feet, he glared at her in return, hoping his features looked menacing.

"Michaela Sully! Now when in the world did you put those stupid things on my son? When your mother gave them ta us I told ya he wasn't going to wear those silly things…" he returned shaking his head in mock disgust.

"In the hospital…" she returned, knowing he wasn't really angry, at the very worst he was only slightly aggravated.

"Well no son of mine is goin' ta wear those ludicrous green things!" he said pressing his lips together to keep from bursting out in laughter.

"Fine… I won't put them on him anymore. I just think they're sweet…"

"In all seriousness, I really do hate those. Please don't put them on him again…" he begged with a sincere expression.

"Oh, all right. I promise not to make him wear them again…" she relented.

"Thank you," he responded giving her a soft kiss on the cheek.

Looking around the room, she said softly, "The pirate theme really was a wonderful idea…"

"Yeah, and now you can sing him pirate songs…" he returned with a wink.

"Pirate songs?" she questioned in confusion.

"Yeah, like fifteen men of 'em stiff and stark, yo ho ho and a bottle of rum! Ten of the crew had the murder mark, yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!" he sang out quietly over her laughter.

"I'm not singing to my baby son about rum!" she answered still laughing at the expression on his face.

"Oh, alright. Guess that'll be my job," he said with a smirk as he took her hand. "Well we better enjoy him sleepin' while we can, 'cause I bet he'll be awake soon… Come on let's go…"

"Where are we going?"

"You'll see…" he returned grabbing the baby monitor from the dresser by the door, before leading her down the stairs.

* * *

Feeling the warm sunlight streaming down on her face, as his strong arms held her close she had never felt so at peace. Allowing her eyes to drift open, she marveled at the flaming red, golden yellow, and bright orange in the distance as the sun made it's decent in the sky. Feeling the wooden swing rocking gently beneath her, as the soft breeze blew through the air, she truly knew what it was like to tell someone she couldn't have been happier. From her spot deep in his loving arms, she watched as Hannah and Katie ran through the yard competitively chasing a soccer ball.

For the first time ever, she could perfectly imagine Nathan running after that very soccer ball… She could see his bright blue eyes sparkling, his golden hair shining, as he waved at her with her husband's smile dancing across his sweet face… It was the true essence of picture perfect…

She had always thought that perfect picture of her future had involved the white picket fence, several kids, swing-set in the backyard, successful career in medicine, and a husband who loved her whom she loved in return. What she didn't realize until this very moment was that none of that truly mattered. Her job… their house… everything she had ever worked for in life really meant nothing. What really mattered was who was standing beside her when all of her dreams came true… The person she looked towards no matter what the situation… The one man that was there through moments of total darkness, kept her from ever feeling loneliness, held her when she was in pain, comforted her in times of sadness, and shared her joy when she wanted to scream out in happiness…That very man she had found long ago; he was sitting right beside her…

God had guided her to the west coast to meet the one man that would make all her dreams come true. Then, he had blessed them both with three beautiful, healthy children to share their love with. Both had spent the last ten years creating memories that would last a lifetime, struggling through the tough times, and dancing through the happy ones. Though, she would always wish for her life to be blessed with happiness, she knew that the key to having that lied with the man next to her. As he had said before, they could do anything _together_. The last several months had shown that to her with vibrant intensity. With his love she would never be lost, alone, or beyond the realm of happiness. With him in her life, joy was always within reach, and that was something she vowed to never again take for granted.


End file.
